When then-Kate Middleton was establishing herself as “the last girlfriend standing” for Prince William (at some point, she had just successfully waited out everyone else), the British press at the time told everyone that Kate had won her prize because she had never put a foot wrong, that she had always known what she wanted and how to get it. She was seen as some as a manipulator, using patience instead of ultimatums and obsequiousness instead of personality. What we know now is that whatever happened during those nine years of courtship, Kate was barely the architect of the romance. Her mother certainly advised Kate (successfully) and helped move many of the pieces into place.

So, as we’re coming up on Will & Kate’s fourth wedding anniversary (and the birth of their second child), how was the long-term planning of Camp Middleton? What has become more and more obvious with each passing year is that Camp Middleton didn’t really plan much beyond “getting the ring.” Kate was a 29-year-old woman-child when she married William, still running home to her mother at the drop of a hat. And after four years, Kate has even grown tired of making the trip to Casa Middleton, so Carole and Michael have pretty much decamped to Anmer Hall so that they can take care of Kate and William for months to come. The Daily Mail has a new, epic breakdown of what’s going down at Anmer. Some highlights:

*Carole does everything: Carole is the one shopping for the new baby’s nursery. She’s making William’s “favourite snack of cheese on toast to eat in front of the television in the evening. And Carole who stocks up on his favourite sea salt chocolates.” Carole is the one “who knows how the flowers should look, which scented candles should be lit and which drinks to serve.”

*William “seems to relish” having Carole & Michael there. One source says Will and Kate “formed ‘an insular unit’ with her parents ‘in which they are quite happy with a quiet life with each other…You could say that Kate and William, unlike most couples with a set of in-laws, feel most at their ease and happiest with her parents around. Tensions dissipate and there’s a party atmosphere.’”

*Three people in a marriage: One source says, “There are three people in that marriage, a result of Kate feeling quite ill at the beginning of this pregnancy and exhausted all the way through. She has relied on Carole. If the Middletons have hijacked the Cambridges, then one can only say that William rather likes it.”

*Carole treats William like a king: “For her, William is still royal and slightly on a pedestal. She’ll gently back his view over Kate’s all the time.”

*Carole gets a say in everything: “Kate and William can be grand, of course, but they love it when Carole brings them cheese on toast or perhaps something less calorific for Kate in front of Downton Abbey. She helps with every decision, from what tie William should wear to an engagement to what curtains the new nursery at Anmer Hall should have. Kate is a perfectionist but is too tired to keep it up while pregnant and trusts her mother’s taste — she learned everything from her.”

*Will & Kate don’t even go out these days: The Mail says, “Apart from the odd royal engagement, they live a very quiet existence, rarely seeing friends or even — as has been noted recently — Prince Charles. Even Zara Phillips, George’s godmother, has not seen them often. Her baby, Mia, hasn’t had playdates with Prince George, as might have been expected.”

*William loves Carole’s attention to detail: “He is in thrall to her capabilities, her tenacity, high-energy levels, her superb organisational skills and her networking. She above anyone else knows what makes Kate happy, what type of staff she will gel with, and understands her overriding need for loyalty and privacy. Carole leaves nothing to chance.”

[From The Daily Mail]

Sources also tell the Mail that Kate is currently splitting her time between London and Anmer Hall, but will permanently relocate to Anmer after she gives birth, and Carole and Michael are going to officially move in with them for several months (at least). This reminds me of something else I’ve heard: that the Queen was somewhat appalled when then-Lady Diana Spencer had no idea what went into running a successful household. It sounds like Kate really doesn’t know how to do it either, but instead of learning from her mother, Kate just outsources everything to Carole indefinitely. Here’s what I sort of love though: I get the feeling that William probably would have been happier if he had just married Carole. Seriously, she’s doing EVERYTHING for him, to make him happy. She even takes his side when he’s fighting with Kate. God, I would be so pissed with my mother if she took anyone’s side but mine.

Photos courtesy of WENN.