As I mentioned in passing last week, Madonna sat down for Us Weekly’s “25 Things You Don’t Know About…” feature. I almost always enjoy this feature, no matter the celebrity, but I was surprised that Madonna agreed to it. Because… don’t we already know everything about Madonna? Turns out, she still has a few surprises. Some people think that her answer about wanting to meet Pres. Obama is shady. As in, people think she was throwing shade at Beyonce and/or Pres. Obama. I’m not sure…but here are my favorite items:
2. My favorite city is Rome. It’s so beautiful. The light is soothing and calming to me, and the architecture is splendid and the food is incredible. I totally love it.
3. I can’t stand mushrooms. Or escargot. Yuck! It’s like snot. Expensive snot.
5. The last time I went grocery shopping was a year ago.
6. I miss absolutely nothing about growing up in Michigan. Nothing at all.
7. The person I most want to meet is President Obama. When the heck am I going to meet him? He just needs to invite me to the White House already. He probably thinks I’m too shocking to be there. I’m serious. If I was a little bit more demure…or if I was just married to Jay Z. Hey, if Jay would only take me as his second wife, then I’d score an invitation.
8. The one thing I’d never be caught dead wearing is a fur bikini.
9. My happiest moments were when my children [Lourdes, 18, Rocco, 14, David, 9, and Mercy, 9] were born and when I got married both times [to Sean Penn and Guy Ritchie].
10. My favorite part of my body is my eyes. My least is my dancer’s feet. They are pretty disgusting.
11. I have found marriages don’t last if you share bathrooms. The best thing about being single is there’s no one to throw out of the bathroom when I want privacy.
12. The thing I miss least about marriage is being called “the wife.” The worst.
13. My most fattening indulgence is either pizza or french fries. Or potato chips, actually. Love them all.
18. The most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen was my daughter [Lourdes] playing the ukulele and singing “La Vie en Rose” for me.
19. My secret beauty ritual is to put ice on my eyes every morning. Ice, ice baby.
23. I have major claustrophobia. I don’t like being stuck in small, enclosed spaces or in crowds. They freak me out.
24. My ideal day off is spent lying in bed all day — sleeping for a few hours, then waking up and watching old movies, like my favorite, Breathless. I eat in bed, have my children come hang out with me, and then I fall back asleep. I never leave the bedroom.
25. My favorite memories of Michael Jackson were getting him to let down his guard. He was so shy. The time I succeeded most was after I got him drunk at the Ivy in Beverly Hills. I was driving my Mercedes and dared him to throw his sunglasses out the window. We couldn’t stop laughing.
It’s a good list! So, was she throwing shade at Beyonce and/or President Obama? I can’t really decide. It’s true, if she was more demure, she might have gotten an invite to meet Pres. Obama. You know what else would have made the difference? If Sasha and Malia were into Madonna like they’re into Beyonce. But who is more into Beyonce: Sasha, Malia or Michelle Obama? I think it might be FLOTUS. Anyway, I’m not mad at the Obamas for not inviting Madonna over. They’re allowed to have Bey and Jay over without having to invite all the pop stars, you know?
Two more things. I think the “fur bikini” thing was shade at Kim Kardashian. And I think the “being called ‘the wife’” thing was shade at Guy Ritchie.
Photos courtesy of WENN, Fame/Flynet and Madonna’s Instagram.
Seriously, though, her face.
She looks 80 in the pic in the limo.
She looks like she’s going to throw up and has no neck
Bette Davis circa 1980
God please use this picture forever.
Gloria Swanson in “Sunset Blvd.”
Does anyone remember a act called I believe Wayland Flowers and Madame? Madame was a puppet. I swear Madonna looks like that puppet now. All wooden and can’t show emotion
OMG, yes!!!
Absolutely, NewWester. she’s Madame all over the place!
OMG! You are right!
I can’t unsee Madam!!!
Lol! Bingo!
Quentin Tarantino looks exactly like the Madame, separated at birth I would say.
Thank you! I’ve been shouting this for years at anyone who would listen! She looks like Madam. I see it a lot when I am at home in LA. I don’t know what it is. Too many cheek fillers and too much sculpting of the chin? I don’t know.
So now we’re age shaming? Can you imagine what would happen if people followed you around with cameras for 30 f*ing years? You think every shot would be a winner? So mean.
Everyone is mean on this site- it must be your first time.
There is no age shaming- the comments are about the awful plastic surgery and injections in her face, looks bad
I assumed her comment was referring to the extensive plastic surgery, which, y’know, is kind of impossible to overlook.
Madonna is not that old…it is NOT age shaming…it’s about bad and way too much plastic surgery.
What about Norma Desmond in Sunset Boulevard ???.Is she ready for her close up???
I think she may have looked better without all the plastic surgery,which only goes to show that once you start you can’t stop!..It is like trying to cover her hands she brings more attention to them!!!
Seriously, Madonna, you are not shocking. Everything you have ever done was done by somebody else before you. You just marketed it better. You are a marketing genius. That’s your talent.
Wait, what?
Exactly — she should set up a foundation for young artists to help them market their talent. That’s what the Material Girl should be doing, But she’ll continue to puke out derivative pop songs and rake in cash from Baby Boomers and Gen-Xers for as long as she can stumble across the stage.
I’m pretty sure this list wasn’t meant to be shocking.
I didn’t think it was supposed to be either.
Give her her due, she was shocking in her day, she pushed the envelope and scandalized middle America, we would not have Kim’s ass and Miley’s twerking if Madonna had not paved the way.
‘the wife’ was definitely guy Ritchie shade because that’s what he called. Sometimes ‘the missus’.
Her marriages failed because they shared a bathroom? Self-delusional much?
I thought the same thing, Santolina. Is she trying to say her house/es had only ONE bathroom, even in the “parents’ quarters”? I hope this was a tongue-in-cheek comment, otherwise, it’s as ridiculous as her trying to turn back the clock.
Madge has a notorious fear of germs and has her own bathroom cleaned twice daily. Her children are not allowed to use her bathroom and she won’t use any other bathroom in her home but her own.
And yeah, she is delusional.
There’s a lot to be said for not sharing a bathroom. She’s right about that.
I highly doubt she is shading Beyonce. She loves Beyonce and was at their concert, a photo of her and some of her children there up front, and thinks she’s a great singer, her words, and she is one of the ones Jay-Z called to a small meeting recently about his new acquisition, along with Kanye, Rihanna, and a few others.
Maybe Obama just doesn’t like Madonna. LOL
WOW. That photo is beyond unflattering.
Invite Madonna to the White House already! Beyonce isn’t any more demure than Madonna.
I didn’t see shade I saw a badly executed joke. I need Madonna to come to terms with her age and instead of trying to be with the current pop princesses own that she is an ICON! She needs to stop and just go yeah you’re hear because of me. I mean she is freaking Madonna and she is killing her brand with these antics, and the face.
I agree Debbie. At this point Madonna is doing herself and her career more harm than good. She is an icon but she’s trying waaaaay too hard and has become a caricature of herself. So sad that she just can’t just step away from her addiction to publicity and graciously accept that her heyday has passed. Constantly trying to align herself with current stars is rather pathetic. Why can’s she just do her own thing? Lourdes must be rolling her eyes an infinitum at her mother’s attempts to stay relevant what with her scary plastic face, grills and all. And I say this as a
casual fan of hers.
I agree as well, she is too try hard, it’s sad. To my generation, although I was not her biggest fan, it’s depressing as hell to see these antics from her. She needs to own her age and regain the moxie she used to have. I liked a lot of what she said in this piece but enough with the grills and the cheerleader outfits, they reek of desperation.
Don’t worry Madge, if I was at the White House I would invite you over instead of Beyonce and Jay-Z who I think would be boring anyway
See, I thought fur bikini was pubic hair. Did Kim wear an actual fur bikini?
Google is available to answer these questions for you.
The better question would be: do you really want to know the answer to that?
Good grief. Beyonce was a major supporter of the president and raised a ton of money. THAT’s why they’re invited to stuff. What a stupid joke.
…loving the Norma Desmond photo…
My parents don’t share a bathroom in the house. So according to Madge, they’ll be married forever. Mom says 4 bathrooms is a lot, but it’s a lucky thing
Wow Only two marriages in all this time. I thought she would be a little more whimsical. For some reason I thought she would have been, when she was young, the girl who jumps from one relationship to another, falls in love too soon and eloped right after and then soon get sick of him or something and divorce but Nopes. And I like that. Even though marrying Sean Penn?
She didn’t marry him but she had a relationship with Lourdes’ father.
That second photo made me think “I’m ready for my close up Mr. DeMille!”
I was typing the same thing! I’ve saved it with the original quote from Norma Desmond. Hadn’t seen this picture of Madonna before. Absolutely love it! Thank you Kaiser!
Also, what about the shade she gave Michigan yet again. Sorry she can’t get over the fact she grew up “in a smelly little town”, her quote from years ago, but she lived near a sugar beet factory and the once a year odor was no secret. Of course now there are emission standards. I live in Northern Michigan near where her brother has a vineyard and produced the Madonna Wine. Not a big seller locally except to tourists.
Ugh I know! I grew up on the west side of MI and had a great childhood. I think Michigan is a great place to grow up, there is a lot of diversity, you have big cities, small coastal towns, the beeches are amazing, you get four seasons, there is so much to offer and it’s getting better every year. When I was growing up we went camping, to the beach, to sporting events, macinac Island, traverse city, I mean I could go on and on. If we could my husband and our family would move back.
I’m sure Michigan is lovely but I think she had an unhappy childhood with her mother dying when she was five and then not liking her step-mother.
Ok, I kinda liked this. Especially the part about her children and MJ.
Not shade, I don’t see it at all
That last picture of her looking like a frail little old lady in the limo never ceases to make me laugh. USE IT FOREVER.
haha…NEVER stop using that pic.
I object to the second photo being shown of Madonna. I just do. It’s so unnecessary, and yes, mean (and I’ve been a Celebitchy devotee for a long time).
I do believe the BEST and HAPPIEST moment of every mother is the moment her kid/s were born. But common she wasn’t there when David and Mercy were born. So how can those moments count as her happiest moments? All together I like her interview for she mentioned a lot of things about the best moment and what made her happy and so on were the times her kids were involved. I totally agree with her.
Even I can appreciate that a mother celebrates their child’s birth as the happiest of moments, why be so mean as to point out she was not the one giving birth? She loves them and I think it’s a lovely, maternal sentiment.