The sweetest flower of all #ioniconran 🌸🌷🌺🌻🌹 pic.twitter.com/Z5cRe5tESk
— Coco Rocha (@cocorocha) April 2, 2015
In the past week, many celebrities have given birth. These celebrities are… not always the most newsworthy in the world, and since we’ve had other stories, we’ve sort of ignored the rash of bad baby names. But I thought… hey, it’s Friday, let’s do a round-up of the week’s baby names.
Rocket Zot. Sam Worthington and his wife (?) Lara Bingle welcomed their first son this week and they named the poor kid ROCKET ZOT. Rocket Worthington. Rocket Zot Bingle-Worthington. Poor kid. It’s worth noting that, to me, it seems like Aussie celebrities are usually not obsessed with “fancy” baby names – they’re more likely to give a kid a “fun” name.
Conrad Scott. Veep star Reid Scott and his wife welcomed a baby boy and they named him Conrad. It reminds me of Conrad “Connie” Hilton, but otherwise… it’s a pretty normal baby name.
Dashiel Edan. Milla Jovovich welcomed her second child, another daughter, with her husband WS Anderson. Milla’s first daughter is named Ever Gabo, which… ugh. I think if they had spelled the name Dashiell Eden it still would have been a silly name for a little girl, but at least it would have been spelled correctly. I don’t know what’s going on with Dashiel-with-one-L and Edan-with-an-A. You’re trying too hard to be different, Milla!
Ioni James. Coco Rocha gave birth last weekend. Coco and her husband James Conran welcomed a daughter they name Ioni James. What’s with the rash of little girls named James lately? Coming on the heels of Blake Lively naming her daughter James, it does seem… copycat-ish. But since it’s the middle name, I doubt people will care. But the spelling of Ioni? Ugh.
Reign Aston Disick. We already knew what Kourtney Kardashian named her third baby, but she just posted an Instagram of little Reign. He’s a cutie. Too cute for that stupid name.
Photos courtesy of WENN, Instagram, Twitter.
It seems they are competing for weirdest name…..poor kids.
That said, Reign is sooo cute!
The Kardashian baby is Reign ASTON, not Reign Ashton. Even tackier.
I actually know an Aston. It’s not that bad to me – but Reign? SMH
The craziest thing is that it’s catching with civilians.. My little niece had a baby presentation not too long ago, and they presented about 20 babies.. Well 5 out of 20 had traditional names when the other 15 were either made up or sounded ridiculously hipster and pretentious.
If you don’t mind me asking, what is a “baby presentation”? I don’t think I’ve ever heard of an event like that before.
@mia to be honest with you I am not so sure either! They just presented them to the congregation I guess, kind of introducing them?
They do this in my church. I think it is the equivalent of a baptism in churches that don’t do infant baptism. So the baby gets introduced to the congregation, blessed and then there’s a party-luncheon in the church hall.
The Ioni James picture is Hallmark Card adorable.
Ioni is Irish right?
Ioni is a variant of Yoni a Greek name
I thought it was a take on Ione, the island off of Scotland? (Uh… I think? One of the Hebrides?) And would be pronounced Eye-oh-nee? Like Ione Skye?
Just my best guess.
Because isn’t yoni a nickname (or actual name?) for female genitalia? I mean, please, tell me she didn’t take it all the way there..
How is that pronounced? Yawn-ee? Eye-o-nee? Something else?
If it’s greek its yawn-ee, if it’s jewish/eastern european it yo-knee.
I’m sure they’ll all be interesting people because they’ve got interesting names.
Was that sarcasm I noted, dr. mantis toboggan (great name)? Because if it was, I agree completely. I am currently dealing with someone at a government regulatory agency and her first name is Cinderella. My theories on the name are that her parents were from a foreign country where it is considered OK to name your children after fairy tale characters or she was given the chance to name herself when she was four years old and that is what she picked.
Rocket Zot. Now there is a name I wish I’d thought of for my own son before I gave him a boring, regular name.
Yeah, you’re such a loser. He will never forgive you. Lol
thank you, thank you, yes, losers pick boring, boring names…. Haha!!
My first thought, reading this name, was that Zot sounds like something Pinky would say to Brain.
Tried to type zot in my phone and got autocorrected to zit. Now I’ve forgotten my comment.
LOL
Hope this kid is home schooled. As soon as the other kids find out his middle name, he will be nicknamed or when they are feeling cruel known as “The Zit”. And also hope he always has clear skin. Children can sometimes be the worst.
How do you pronounce Ioni?
These people act like they are naming puppies, not babies.
I knew a woman named ioni in my childhood and she pronounced it
I-own-y.
Ioni is a real name. It’s pronounced eye-oh-nee.
That’s what I meant, I just did it wrong. Show off. Lol
James is Coco’s husband’s first name, so I doubt they were copying Blake Lively.
…and at least they put it as her middle name.
Judging from the write up I think Kaiser knows it is Coco’s husbands first name, the same way its Ryan’s father’s first name.
It does not disprove her opinion of how it now seems.
Rocket ZOT?!?
Rocket Zot is out there with Pilot Inspektor and Audio Science as the stupidest celebrity baby name. If the parents had enough reason to give their children normal second names, they could at least go by R. Henry, A. Eric or P. William but with those combinations, they will have to wait until adulthood to legally change it. It made me appreciate my country’s strict policies concerning baby names. I used to complain about a way too narrow catalog of baby names but at least we have a law forbidding parents from giving their children stupid names. Currently the most controversial names parents give their children in Poland are Alan, Brian, Kevin and Vivian due to their spelling.
I’ll add Moxie Crimefighter as an awful baby name.
Toni Braxton named her son Denim. DENIM.
Tu Morrow. Rob Morrow should be backslapped for doing that to his daughter. His child the pun.
Not a weird name, but my bf named her son Andrew bc it sounds like Android. so I call him Android…..
I’m weirdly fascinated by Sam Worthington. He starred in the highest grossing movie of all time by a factor of 1.5 and now seems completely irrelevant and charisma free. Lots of actors have one big hit and then have a fan base that cares for years (convention money at least). I’ve never met anyone who gives a second thought to this guy. So bizarre.
James Cameron is the star of that movie. Not Sam Worthington.
And he hates the press and then got together with Lara Bingle who is the closest thing Australia had to Kim Kardashian. Bizarre.
I’d call kourtney’s son RAD. Also, pharrell sons name is also rocket. Can’t wait till ROcket is considered “normal” and “Emily” bizarre.
Dashiel with a single L is the name of my friends Dobberman. It suits him. I don’t know if it’s something you give your child.
Dashiel for a Doberman sounds great! “Hey Dash, go fetch!”.
I had a baby two days ago. She’s named in part for a Matthew Sweet song. And still I feel relieved that comparatively, her name won’t send her to therapy.
Congratulations.
Winona? Please tell me it’s Winona. That’s my favorite Matthew Sweet song. 🙂
Ha! No, I’d never get past the Primus song. We went with Evangeline.
Congratulations!
Peeps forget that someday the kid grows up and may want to be a doctor or have some other dignified profession.
I do love the name Ione. Of all those mentioned today, that’s the only name I like. The rest are totes RIDICULOUS.
Evangeline?
Rocket Zot can eventually go by Rock Worthington, which honestly is a great romance-novel-hero name.
Rock Worthington is SOOO much better!
A GF had a baby girl last month, they named her Rebecca Nicole. I had to prepare her for how that name was going to stand out for its beauty, simplicity, and classic sound when they start hitting story time at the library.
We used a super traditional/classic name for our daughter as well. She’s screwed 😉
My kids are pretty normal (namewise) – Sean and Siobhán.