Is Miley Cyrus rebounding with her ex, Liam Hemsworth? [Dlisted]
Kristen Wiig is your new Khaleesi. [Jezebel]
New Girl has sucked for a while now, you guys. [Pajiba]
Zac Efron has a swastika tattoo for his new movie. [Celebslam]
Bethenny Frankel thinks her problem is choosing the wrong guys. [Wonderwall]
Scarlett Johansson is the spokeswoman for Feeding America. [ICYDK]
Courtney Stodden is a genius (no, she’s not). [CDAN]
Young women have no character after they have sex, apparently. [The Frisky]
This is what Jared Leto’s body looks like now. [IDLY]
Jennifer Lopez’s Ungaro looks like pajamas. [RCFA]
Matthew Perry tells an embarrassing story on Conan. [Seriously OMG WTF]
Photos courtesy of WENN.
HODOR!
House Celebitchus you and GoT broke me. I can’t comment on anything else apart from GoT related posts.
HODOR!
*crinkles tin foil*
*sits on hands*
*must not comment*
P.S. Did you see the Khaleesi on Kimmel? It was dumb, not enough theories/spoilers. 😉
*pulls mimif’s hands from underneath her butt and gives her a mic*
Danaerys Karen Targaryen sounds really cool.
I just realised Kristen Wiig has cleavage painted on her t-shirt. ahaha amazing.
Ha, yes that was some awesome airbrushing. Did you see they cut away to Quest Love’s face when she was answering the Rapid Fire? He’s like, Khaleesi, you know nothing. Rocks and sticks and stuff.
How can you disagree with him! She knows nothing!
I loved this:
‘favorite item in clothing?
‘Long skirts’
*dead*
anyway. I was watching Jorah Mormont in action last night.
Is it me or he always looks like is on a hunt in a zoo safari in Africa all dressed in khaki?
All he misses to complete his look is a giant camera and a rifle.
Lmao YES, he’s like the Crocodile Dundee of GoT and totally makes me want to liberally apply sunscreen every time I see his face.
Oh god yes.
What I want to do instead is to shave his head and get rid of those fluffy thin hair. Dude it’s ok in having no hair, but have some long hair, sparsely placed and randomly combed over your head is ridicolous.
And put some lip balm on his lips. His lips give me the jibby jabbers.
He looks like an old and battered leather crocodile bag.
He’s almost cute when it comes to Danaerys though. We should start a drinking game now that he’s back in the show: we have to drink a shot of vodka every time is friendzoned by Danaerys.
‘Hey I’m Jorah Mormont ANDAL love you forever’
😂😂you’re killing me ANDAL totally play that game with you! I tried to watch episode 4 last night but could not find it, so instead read more theories that I will not torment you with at this time.
I’m Jorah Mormont from House of Friendzone. 😀
No mimif please share those informations with me!
I cannot 😂😂 any more! Stand by, I shall go fetch it…
From House Crinklery, sigil Tin Foil:
http://www.reddit.com/r/asoiaf/comments/2xn64z/spoilers_all_the_grand_weirwood_conspiracy_we/
I’m reading it now. God mimif you’re such a great source of knowledge.
And this guy on reddit is a freak!! How old do you think he is?
His writing skills are incredible so maybe he is not that young? Maybe not 13 but 23 years old. Definetely still lives in his parents’ basements in New Jersey though!!
I seriously know nothing, I just troll the Internet and jack everybody else’s stuff. This guy tho, he blows everybody else out of the water. One of these days I’m going to join reddit and propose, I swear. HODOR!
And i’ll be your Maid of HODOR!
My god we’re really pushing the boundaries here. I need mental help.
HODOR!!! HODOR!!!
AHAH!
Lilacflowers we can’t go on with our daily life after what happened yesterday!
Get it together, people! You either win or you die.
HODOR!
HODOR! I can’t believe it took me all day to find you guys in the links! Maybe we agree to adversely possess the links if not offered a daily GoT thread?
@Size
I was thinking the same thing.
The ‘links’ is no one’s land so we can make it ours 😉
But the links come laaaast. *whiny voice*
I cracked a GoT joke on the Cumberbatch thread today and promptly got my head bitten off. Cumberbatch threads are the Craster’s Keep to House Celebitchus.
I’ve just read it and lemme tell ya..they know nothing!
I have been to Isle of Wight and as lovely as it is I would never ever ever EVER ever everrrrr buy a house there. Boring boring boring and rainy. Sorry people of isle of Wight.
The other wight on the other hand.. much more interesting! 😀
Next time use ‘HODOR’ as safe word.
That surely as to count for something!
Isle of the right Wight would definitely be interesting. Like Skagos, but with different accents! Speaking of Skagos, what are the odds that Rickon is going to turn up someday?
Who’s Rickon? He’s like Carl in season 2 of TWD, nobody can keep their eye on him.
*runs off to Cumby thread to support my liege sisters*
Rickon is a Stark after all. He’ll come back one day.
Is he still with Nymphadora Tonks from Harry Potter (I can’t remember her name on GoT) between the cannibals??
Nymphadora *tears* Is that Osha?
ETA: more tears after reading the bomb that Size dropped on the Cumby thread. Because of course. We gotta keep our secret language to the 17 post Pammy Anderson threads…
Yes! Osha! I can never remember her name!!
From now on I’ll call her just Tonks 😀
Okay sisters. So I was reading this thing about why the producers had changed Sansa’s storyline and then I was gobsmacked when i’ve read Sophie Turner’s reaction on the matter:
‘When I got the script, I was shocked to my core. Because I was just like, is this really going to happen for her again? It’s really quite devastating. It is “Game of Thrones,” but when you had the moment at the end of Season 4 you think, “Oh her life is going to get better. She’s going to take matters into her own hands and she’s gonna be this powerful woman and liberate people and manipulate people.” And then it was just kind of like, “Oh.”
So………. does this mean that Sansa is screwed? She isn’t changing after all? So she’s not evolving but U-turning going back to the same scared, frail, crying mess that she’s been in the last 2 seasons?
Oh f-ck.
Hm. I would exercise caution on reading too much into what the actors have to say, surely they have had PR training to keep things on the down low. I was hoping for all of those things for Sansa too, I just can’t imagine her being the best down puppet AGAIN. Seems disingenuous to me. Then again, you’ve seen the next episode so I could be wrong!
In the meantime, I think I just found Osha Tonks:
http://www.out.com/sites/out.com/files/prince.jpg
Agahaaghagah!!
(That is my dirty laugh)
That bulge is OFFENSIVE.
Put it away Robb, we don’t want to see that. Lord Bulge of Elephantiasis.
Surely he’s wearing something down there.. or he stole Theon’s penis and hid it in his secret place (between his legs)
Can you believe Cinderella is a children’s movie???
Back to Sansa… and the Boltons.
Roose surely doesn’t trust her or little finger AT ALL. I mean.. Roose knows that Sansa knows that he has killed 40% of her family. I’m sure he’s not happy either that she’s back in Winterfell after she got famous in all the 7 kingdoms for poisoning Joffrey.
Roose will watch her very very closely.
*shivers down my spine*
Yeah this is where I wonder if Roose is actually going to steal Ramsey’s body so he can take over Winterfell and what’s underneath the crypts….although that sounds completely insane. All reason has left my body and is now hiding in Robb’s crotch.
P.S. I haven’t seen Crotcherella yet, but after the evidence you presented, I think it’s going to happen tonight.
You’re still going on with the theory that Roose is a vampire.
You do sound insane. But i understand you. You’re not alone.
Crotcherella is the BEST name ever. Honestly the biggest breakthrough in that film wasn’t Lily James. The Crotch was the big star.
It deserves its own movie. Crotcherella indeed.
I think Ned Stark is doing some grave rolling exercises today… His son is not coming out well in that mess of a movie.
Oh, Gods, ladies, I think I just peed a little, I’m laughing so hard. Two wargs don’t make a wight!!! Hey, I’m pregnant, these things happen.
Tinfoil hat on a field of yellow today.
Sansa, what is going to happen to youuuuu? Alfie Omega said in an interview that there’s a really really disturbing scene coming up. I’m assuming it must be similar to the Theon/fake Arya post Ramsey wedding scene. Not okay!
Also, because I’m such an uber-educated super GoT geek well versed in fictional geography, here’s my additional R+L=J evidence THAT I HAVE NOT READ SOMEWHERE ELSE! In book five Jon asks Melissandra is she has seen the king in her fire. She says no, all I see is SNOW. They took it literally in the book (Stannis buried in a blizzard). But GRRM of Incesterly Rock brilliance, meant it figuratively – JON SNOW IS THE KING! Case closed.
Co-sign everything you both said, even though I’m f-cking blind from CB/GoT poisoning and can’t see shit.
*does shot of Casa Friendzone vodka*
*cues up Crotcherella*
*creates Tinder account because I’m pretty sure my bf is going to leave me if I don’t get off this comp*
ETA: Size, are you really havering a baby? It’s totally Azor Ahai, isn’t it?! 🎉
@Size
I agree with you. That’s brilliant!!!
I like it that we all say GGRM of Incestrly Rock. I finally brought something of vital importance to the conversation. I feel useful.
Casa Friendzone is my next poject. i’m moving to Russia and peel many potatoes to make my own vodka. Who’s with me?
Can I ask you why Melissandre asked Jon Snow if he was a virgin? He said no and she – through lips botoxed to the max – said ‘good’
What’s the point of NOT being a virgin?
I’m totally going to Russia with you, my bf is obsessed with Putin so he might have to come to. We can ditch him at the train station.
Yeah, you’d think she’d want him to be a virgin, just in case she needed to sacrifice him later. Then again, there’s that horrible theory (that I refuse to condone), that they actually hook up at some point. Some fire and ice bullshit.
Robb Stark’s Crotch ONE NIGHT ONLY, with special guests Incestrly Rock. (Brought to you by GRRM productions.)
Honestly I don’t know why she cares if he put the P in the V (© Millionaire Matchmaker). He said in an interview that she tries to seduce him this season. Maybe to see how easy it would be to get him to break his vows? So she can birth a teeny-tiny weepy faced curly haired demon spawn on the North to destroy everything?
No mimif. Ditching the bf at the train station is cruel.
He could help to peel potatoes. We’ll nedd heaps of vodka for all the time Jorah will be friendzoned ANDAL love vodka. Two more hands will do good to the business.
Melissandre needs to die burnt by dragons. I can’t wait to see if R’Hllor Lord of Matches can compete with a big ass dragon. we’ll see,
I hope Jon will keep it in his pants. And if Mel goes looking fot it he can hide it in Robb’s crotch. I’ve heard there’s lots of room down there,
MAID OF HODOR!
That’s all I got. Done. Spent. All life departed after teeny-tiny weepy faced curly haired demon spawn and R’Hllor Lord of Matches. Goodbye, cruel world.
Sssssssssss…..*buries head in Robb’s crotch*
Yes mimif I’ll be your Maid of HODOR when you’ll marry Forrester Thorne.
We’ll celebrate big time. Casa friendzone will be the base to any cocktail that day.
It’ll be memorable. I’ll get someone to play Rain of Castamere and then I’ll lock all the doors.
Just for drama of course. But I’ll still enjoy it while i’ll eat popcorns watching people trying to get out of your reception alive.
my bf just phoned me from the Uk asking me what the hell am I doing still awake.
*angel face*
Robb Stark wore make up too in that movie. So his blue eyes would stand out more.
*puke*
Shut. Up. I seriously hope I can find it somewhere because I want to shake my fist at the sky, and then pour another shot of vodka.
Did he also put Kardashian strength contouring makeup on his crotch because COCK! If I wasn’t pregnant before I’m pretty sure I am now after opening that Crotcherella link. That beast jumped right out at me!
Sorry I missed out today! I had to “work” and “run” and “take care of my kids”.
Crotcharella?
See above link helpfully provided by MIMIF aka Full Cersei. Robb Stark’s Disney alter ego. Just be warned, keep your lady garden covered or there might be accidental penetration.
Missed you today! Thanks for helping me out on the humorless Cumberbatch thread. I’m still waiting for someone to explain how we legitimize Jon. Fell into a wormhole today about Robb’s last letter. These things, I don’t even remember. Too many nuances.
Wow, I think that just got me pregnant.
The Cumber folk genuinely perplex me. They are an odd people.
I don’t actually work an office job, which is awesome in real life, but cuts back on my internet time 🙂
Courtney Stodden looks like a busted 50 year old who’s lived a hard life and she only 20 its just sad.
Truth. My heart goes out to her.
I was reading about the chin fat drug in the featured links.
“Kybella can cause serious side effects, including nerve injury in the jaw that can cause an uneven smile or facial muscle weakness, and trouble swallowing. The most common side effects of Kybella include swelling, bruising, pain, numbness, redness and areas of hardness in the treatment area.”
I’ll learn to accept my turkey wattle.
I love your turkey wattle. Gobble gobble.
I have a friend who had chin lipo done, it looked to be….incredibly painful (and expensive). And it didn’t work.
I’m too chicken to undergo cosmetic surgery. If I had the cajones I’d get a boob lift.
My Heisenbergs are heading south pretty quick.
I love the side effect listings. I’m surprised one of them for this drug isn’t ‘fat chin’. It cracks me up when the side effect is the reason for the RX. Like, take this for IBS. Side effects include intestinal pain, bloating constipation or diarrhea.
Totally. Here, take this for your anxiety. Contact your Doctor if you experience increased anxiety.
Also, I’m at Kohl’s right now and Macaroon 5 is playing. Then End.
Ooh, watcha gettin’? More clunky necklaces?
I know! It slays me when I watch the ads on tv sometimes. Like the side effect for a psoriasis med is stabbing chest pains or seizures! I’ll take psoriasis, thanks!
Also @ mimif – Buy me something!
The best (or worst) listing of side affects are the erectile dysfunction drugs: headaches, body pain, gas, dizziness, vision changes (blindness), flushing, congestion/runy nose, hearing loss, and of course, if you have an erection that last for 6 hours or more, seek medical help. So, I’m picturing this couple trying Cialis for the first time. Conversation goes something like this, “Honey, I took the pill. I have a really bad headache and my body hurts. You’re looking really blurry. I can’t hear you. I’m starting to freak out!” Wife: “You can’t see me now, but I look really hot. You don’t need to hear me and, wait, did you just fart? Anyway, I don’t care that you’re in pain. You got a boner that I need.” Husband climbs on top of wife. Snot drips on her. Goes to emergency room 6.5 hours later with obvious tent.
My bf needed a blow dryer DONT LAUGH. He’s using it to replace his laptop’s screen that a Pixie Bob managed to shatter.
@taterthot, I got us chin straps!
It’s why I smoke the good stuff to cure what ails me.
Worst side effects are: possibly bloat due to cookie-eating, potential for hand-scratches from excessive cat-petting, and pain in sides cause by fits of laughter.
Side effects from trying to figure out how a blow dryer would fix a Pixie Bob shattered laptop screen: Confusion, frantic Googling, beet cravings, a case of the huh?’s, gale force winds and ironic chin fat.
How does a blowdryer fix a screen.che?
“Also, I’m at Kohl’s right now and Macaroon 5 is playing. The End.”
Side effects from shopping at Khol’s – severe mental and auditory discomfort. Please contact your Dr if you have a sudden desire to act like An Animal, Animal, Animal or the uncontrollable urge to Move like Jagger.
Side effects from being a regular poster at Celebitchy may include _________________________________________.
FIN
Then there are the ones that cause suicidal thoughts. Lovely.
Does remind us that so much of what we think is a part of us that’s under our control is really just biochemistry and luck of the draw.
Which link? My friend was just telling me about that. I think he works for the company.
This is the one I read
http://jezebel.com/fda-approves-drug-to-treat-chin-fat-1701019990
Yes. That’s the one! I was shocked that there weren’t procedures for that already out but my friend (who works for that company) says there isn’t. Doctors have to be trained to use it because one wrong injection leaves disastrous results. Yikes.
@Taterho…. Which link?
It’s on the bottom tier under the HAWT HAWT shirtless man (Tyson Beckford?), who needs no chin work.
I can’t believe how Miley looked good at some point in her life. Before the trainwreck phase she is in now.
Really? I think she’s still pretty.
Really??
I think the short pixie haircut makes her look even more like a chipmunk with squinty eyes.
Longer hair suit her better.. it makes her look more feminine.
I do too. She has beautiful eyes and I’ve always found her pretty.
Run Liam…
Hey Miley and Liam! Enjoy, have fun, be crazy. Just maybe don’t get engaged?.. and definitely don’t get married. You’ve both got a lot to work on and figure out.
Why is it these days I feel you have to remind young people it’s OK (with proper cautions) to just have a bit of fun? It’s not 1952, you don’t have to marry anyone you’ve slept with!
Wait, it’s not 1952?
*hops back into naked pot smoking hot tub time machine with Brad Pitt*
Don’t step on me. I’m already in there. You can’t see me, because I’m on my knees.
That’s the spirit! 😉
Proper cautions though, how did he get that nasty black eye?
Something about the O’kitt tossing him a can of Boston baked beans. Dude lierally got beaned. Can’t catch wortha sh_t when he’s stoned.
@Kiddo – I thought he got the black eye back in 1952 with you. You were posing nude, he made a painting of you in full color and the local B&W folks started throwing things at you. Poor Brad was hit by a soda glass.
*tosses Cheezits into the floozy tub*
*slips on baked beans and falls on as! while trying to flee*
I hope whatever show Matthew Perry is in takes off, because I feel mysteriously sorry for him, and I don’t want him to have to give up his patio-porn-in-the-San-Fernando-Valley lifestyle.
The “Protect Her Character” poster re: prom sex is alllll kinds of offensive to me!
Apparently a woman’s character can be lost out of her vagina, but the guy that is doing the deed with her leaves the encounter with his “character” intact?
Grrrrrr!
Dammit if Crotcherella doesn’t sound like some festival for the expulsion of pubic lice, held somewhere in the valley. Three days of combs, RID and scratching (your junk) y’all!
I’m a recent convert to the black hole that is GoT. You all make me laugh, and I don’t mind spoilers. What I do mind is my husband decided somewhere around my getting to season three that he actually did want to watch it, from season one, so now I have to wait on him to catch up and ohmyfrakkinggawdthisiswhypeoplegetdivorced! Don’t get married. Sharing things is for suckers.