A few weeks ago, we discussed the story of Miley Cyrus neglecting to properly clean her Persian kitty’s eyes. Then I had to take a break from looking at her Instagram account. Miley’s pepperoni bedspread, psychedelic Photoshop mashups, and the poor cat’s crusty eyes were all too much. I do remember wondering what happened to Bubba Sue, the piglet Miley adopted 10 months ago. The answer to this pressing question can be found on the cover of Paper magazine’s summer issue.

You only thought Miley reached her stuntqueening apex by popping a squat or riding a wrecking ball. Miley keeps insisting that she’s more than nudity and not simply someone who shakes it onstage. Then she begs for attention by taking it off with her pig, who looks bewildered. There’s no other reason for slathering herself with mud and posing like this on a magazine cover.

I’d like to give Miley credit for unapologetically owning her sense of self, but Paper is the same magazine who tried to break the internet with Kim Kardashian’s rear. Miley knew what she was doing. Paper has released one interview excerpt so far:

“I was doing a show two nights ago, and I was wearing butterfly nipple pasties and butterfly wings. I’m standing there with my t*ts out, dressed like a butterfly. How the f*** is that fair? How am I so lucky?”

[From Paper]

Miley makes it too easy sometimes, and she’s also exhausting. I can’t imagine always needing to shout from the rooftops about mah boobs. Officially, Miley is promoting her Happy Hippie foundation with this cover, but no one will notice her charitable efforts with a pose like this. Sure, the cover gets Miley attention. It’s also counterproductive to her cause.

Here’s an oldish (from March) photo of Miley’s wax statue at Madame Tussauds in Vegas. This seemed like a good time to revisit the ol’ wrecking ball.

Photos courtesy of Paper magazine & WENN