For me, the one saving grace in this often messed up world is that Paris Hilton hasn’t reproduced. Sure there’s war and famine and all sorts of horrendous, tragic things. But I cling to that little bit of consolation that comes with the knowledge that Hilton isn’t currently messing up an innocent child’s life. This means something to me. And stupid Doug Reinhardt is about to take it all away. Over the course of the last two years, Paris has done little more than party, strut around L.A., and talk about how much she wants a baby. And Doug seems to be the first man willing to give her one.

Nicole’s longtime BFF, Paris Hilton, 28, may be joining the mom club now that she’s serious with The Hills’ Doug Reinhardt. “Paris would make a great mom — she’s my Angel Princess. I’d love to have some mini Parises one day,” Doug told In Touch at LA’s MyHouse on March 20. “I’d love to have children, that’s what completes your life,” added Paris. Doug, 23, is also a better fit than her ex Benji Madden. “She thought she could look past his tattoos and piercings, but Paris wants her children to have a clean-cut father,” says an insider. “And they’re crazy about each other.”

[From In Touch]

Can you imagine anything more upsetting than a bunch of mini Parises? I feel physically ill. And not in that funny “oh she’s just exaggerating to prove a point” sort of way. But like I might actually spend the day retching. None of Paris’ exes ever told the press they wanted to have babies with her. Presumably because they all wanted at least a semi-fit mother for their children. And not someone who collects living things and discards them when she’s bored.

If nothing else, Paris and Doug are a good match. They’re both sorta-pretty if you don’t think about it too hard. They want the same things. And they’re equally dumb. True, it gives their kids no shot at having an I.Q. above 91. But at least they’ll be pleasant to look at and know how to walk in high heels. And isn’t that what matters?

Here’s Paris (with her latest new puppy) meeting up with Kathy Griffin (and 1,234 paparazzi) to shop at Kitson yesterday. Images thanks to WENN .