Us Weekly was the first to report that Charlize Theron and Sean Penn had ended their engagement and broken up. Us Weekly reported that last week, although it seems like Charlize and Sean have been done for almost a month, pretty much after the Cannes Film Festival. So, what happened? Radar said that Penn was “overly critical” of Charlize, that she just reached her breaking point, and that Penn was still trying to get back with her. And now Us Weekly – the outlet that broke the news – has some more info.
Straight to voicemail. Charlize Theron and Sean Penn appeared more in love than ever, but just like that, the Mad Max: Fury Road actress stopped picking up her phone. An insider close to Penn tells Us Weekly exclusively that Theron abruptly stopped speaking with the actor during the Cannes Film Festival last month.
“Charlize wasn’t responding to his calls and texts,” the source tells Us. “She just cut it off.”
Us broke the news in December 2014 that the longtime friends became secretly engaged after a year of dating, and of their split on Wednesday. Theron, 39, and The Gunman actor, 54, kept close at Cannes in the south of France, which makes the news even more shocking.
“Sean and Charlize looked very happy together while at the Hotel Du Cap,” a second onlooker tells Us, “with no signs of tension or a breakup.”
The stars may not be speaking for now, but they will be bumping into each other in the future. Penn recently wrapped directing the drama The Last Face, which stars Theron.
Apparently, the abrupt cut-off thing has a name – it’s called “ghosting.” Which sounds more like a CIA thing than a relationship thing. Once again, we’re left with the impression that Charlize was the one to end things. Once again, we’re left with the impression that this really did happen suddenly, like they were totally in love one minute and then nothing. My guess is that Sean Penn knows what he did and that whatever it was, there’s no coming back. So if he knows what he did, is it cool to cut off contact completely? I have mixed feelings about the practice (and I’ve ghosted guys and female friends), but if you do it to the right person, they get the message.
Photos courtesy of WENN.
She finally googled what he did to Madonna?
Hahahahahahahahahahaha!
Exactly.
Robin stated that he wasn’t a nice guy either — so clearly Madonna’s abuse wasn’t just a one off.
Sean has a history of abusive behaviour which is why I think he’s very yucky.
Lol! So true. I personally hate ghosting…it’s a pet-peeve of mine. I mean, if a guy keeps trying to creepily text me every 10 minutes after making it clear I’m not interested several times, then yeah I’ll ‘ghost’. But otherwise, I always feel so overwhelmed if I’m not on good terms with someone or if I haven’t said what needs to be said.
I think is more of a woman’s thing to try to get “closure”. In my experience, men just move on, closure or not, like it is easier for them.
Ennie: lol I’m a guy…I definitely don’t just move on if someone ghosts me…I’d rather just hear it read a message that says we shouldn’t be together.
lmao!! but seriously I don’t get how any woman could be with him after reading all the stuff he has done to Madonna and his exes in general.
Right??!! How this man isnt in jail is beyond me. Sure hes an amazing actor and humanitarian (apparently) but he seems like a horrid person with some deep rooted demons
Had this happened nowadays he’d be in jail, no career, no Oscars. Sadly back then there wasn’t internet, and the gossip news circle wasn’t as democratic as it is now: there was a mafia that decided what, when and how spill the news. We’re lucky to know about it because there was a police report. Otherwise, nothing. Internet and gossip sites wouldn’t let it slip away these days. Just like happened with Chris Brown.
He actually did go to jail for assault years ago, but I don’t think it was related to what he did to Madonna.
I’m thinking he must have done something pretty bad for her to go from engaged to cut off completely. Hopefully nothing physical to her or her son. Maybe she caught him with a yacht girl or something.
Chris Brown? Who continues to make songs with famous people and was honoured a few years after the assault at the very same gala he was headed to when his beat his gf to a pulp?
HAHAHAHAHAHA OMG yes absolutely. Or he lifted a hand at her. And, if you have a good head, you know. once a man even HINTS that he will beat you up (with a baseball bat, maybe), you leave his ass . period. no negotiations, nothing.
So i hope, for her son, that this breakup is for good.
That would be the dumbest move ever. Didn’t she shoot her father for beating her Mom? If he did he’s lucky to be alive.
She didn’t shoot anyone. When she was very young, her mother shot her father in front of her during a domestic attack. That alone would make her wary of someone like Penn. Maybe he finally did enough to give her flashbacks and that was all it took?????
“Or he lifted a hand at her. And, if you have a good head, you know. once a man even HINTS that he will beat you up (with a baseball bat, maybe), you leave his ass . period. no negotiations, nothing.” This!
this is… with abusers, the old habits tend to creep back in, in a moment of rage, or maybe with a few too many drinks. While sober, it is easier to control the urge to solve “it”, with a violent outburst, but in a heated fight or a drunken misshap, things escalate and those old habits come back in a snap.
I believe human beings are able to change, but I don’t know how much. I think, in his case, for me to believe that at least he was TRYING to change, he would at least publicly acknowledge what we already know. That in the past 20 years or so he assaulted women. And apologize for it.
but since he always looks like a raging asshole to me… I will keep thinking he has not change, just learned to hide it better / for longer.
I love this quip! but in all seriousness- if she really cut him off cold turkey, it lends more credence to the speculation that he did something violent.
“The stars may not be speaking for now, but they will be bumping into each other in the future. Penn recently wrapped directing the drama The Last Face, which stars Theron.”
Hmm. Or she got what she wanted, the part in his film, and then dumped him. Maybe she was using him the whole time.
If she was, then good on her. About time somebody used him. I like her again. She was phenomenal in Monster…deserved the Oscar. One of the few great films I haven’t seen for a second time because I don’t wanna face that anxiety again…like watching a sad stray dog. Penn, on the other hand, besides being a jerkoff, has a style of acting that I just can’t get into. I pretty actively avoid films he’s in. For me, he peaked with Spicoli.
If I remember correctly, it was really a project for Robin Wright. She really wanted the role way back when she and Penn were still together. I dont remember what happened, some kind of problem csusing a delay or something, but i think Penn pursued the project after they divorced. Some said it was, at least in part, to spite Robin by giving the starring role to Theron.
@Diane: I never stopped liking her and always rated her acting talent after Monster. I just think it’s kind of pathetic that people who didn’t like her only like her now because she dumped Sean Penn. If people hated her for going out with someone who abused his former partners the fact she’s now broken it off with him, probably for her own reasons, doesn’t change the fact that she was happy to date someone who abused his former partners.
Best move she could make. Why drag it out?
Agreed,
And another thing. I know a lot of people are saying that ghosting is a bit immature and stuff, and for the most part when you are in a relationship with a man who is stable and mature… Yeah, ghosting is terrible, but on the other hand, Karrueche needs to learn this from Charlize. If the man gets too hot… ghost him!
When dealing with a crazy, best way to handle it. If the person is a narcissistic person like Spiccoli seems to be its called NO CONTACT! You can’t negotiate or get thru to crazy like that and when trying to it gets more frustrating because they don’t get it and you are just spinning your wheels getting them to see the truth then you are all involved again. Ghosting I like that word for it..!
I agree. Abusive or volatile people are handled best and most effectively by “ghosting.” They don’t care what you have to say or how you feel. They’re just looking to stay in your life to control you or to have control over who is the dumper v. dumpee. They see any communication as encouragement, so it’s better to cut off all contact and go cold turkey.
missy, you said it…the only way to end it with abusive, personality-disordered people is to ghost or go completely No Contact, NC as it’s known.
In fact, I’m doing it now w/a histrionic prescription pill addict. She went psychotic on me late one night, so I called the police to do a wellness check, also to let her know that I’m done. It’s not the first time this has happened, but it was the last.
Ghosting or NC is sometimes necessary for the sake of one’s own sanity…fortunately, it seems Charlize remembered her own father and finally came to her senses.
exactly. totally depends on the persons involved. and with sean penn’s crazy, would make total sense to ghost. she might not want to be manipulated back into something she doens’t want to be in (guessing of course).
All hail the ice queen. We are not worthy.
Totally. I think some people characterize Charlize as an ice queen and cold and criticize her for not being “warmer,” but this case illustrates that sometimes you need to just be cold as ice. Just freeze him out if he deserves it.
@laura la
I read this as no contact, nc
As in a location in North Carolina and I seriously cracked up-thanks for that I’m from nc and will be using this.
As far as ghosting-it’s my preferred method. To each his own.
Haha! CS(g)E, that will be the new euphemism for it…just going to “North Carolina” for awhile. 😉
I’m pro ghosting, but first I like to pick a fight and say as much sh*t as I can that makes a person never want to talk to me again all by themselves. Then, after a week or a month or whatever, when they’re bored and they forget…already ghosted.
best move would have been to never come close to him.
Exactly. If she is not open to reconcillation it’s best to cut off communications. if Sean is trying to portray himself as the “victim” he is even more delusional than I thought.
Ngl, I went ghost on an ex once. It was immature and childish, but I needed to get AWAY.
If your ex was abusive — then it’s smart.
+1. When people are crazy or abusive go ghost. Otherwise, they drag you back in.
Sometimes, it the only way to go, especially if they are crazy and unrelenting. I’ve done the ghosting, but after cutting it off.
ETA: If someone did something horrific, and they know it, ghosting is appropriate. No need to explain your departure.
Ive done the same along with changing my phone number. He was abusive drunk and eventually went to far. Only time Ive seen him was in court for my restraining order. Smartest move I ever made!
Thanks everyone. I just wish I could have been brave enough to tell him he was an a**hole and horrible to me and officially break things off, but I had to get away.
Yeah, engaging gives the pursuer the opportunity to claim mixed messages and that there is interest.
100% agreed. I’ve only done it once, but it was necessary for the reasons you mention.
@tiffany27, you were brave by getting away, regardless of whether you talked to him about it or not.
After cutting what off, Kiddo? Should we be calling you Ms. Bobbitt?
If somebody else’s behaviour has crossed a certain threshold, and confrontation might escalate the situation or cause harm/retaliation to oneself, ghosting really is best. Some people are so deluded and manipulative they turn constructive feedback into a personal attack.
+1
Well said.
People with narcissistic personality disorders lack insight and empathy to see from your point of view. To explain how you feel and why you’re cutting communication is like a wild goose chase. Narcissists are master manipulators. They twist words to make YOU feel crazy. Sometimes it’s healthier to just stop trying. If that’s called ghosting, put me firmly in the pro-ghost column.
Me too. I had a very tumultuous and somewhat emotionally controlling relationship in college. I kept going back for more until one day I realized I was worth more than that. I went dark on him too. He called me 47 times in one day; I changed my phone number.
I think ghosting is wrong unless there’s concern about abuse or the person is truly mentally unstable. People need to know why you are ending a relationship-it can hopefully help them grow and change (I’m not talking about Sean Penn-I’m talking in a general sense). Many years ago when I was in my late teens I had a good friend who stopped returning my phone calls (this was in the pre-texting, pre-e-mail era). She wrote me a letter telling me why she was ending the friendship (her financial situation was much better than mine and she got tired of dealing with my jealousy). It was a good learning experience for me and while it really hurt initially I’m grateful that she alerted me to my behavior. It was a wake up call and it pushed me to make some changes in how I interacted with friends and people in general.
I’m with you. Tell them you’re done, and then do not respond. But tell them first.
I like your honesty.
We talk like this is fact though. Maybe they got into a huge fight and she wouldn’t answer his calls, but then they talked and she called it all off.
I actually believe that Charlize has put A LOT of people on ice.
A LOT!!!
But I also believe that she will let you know before she ghosts you/puts you on ice. I don’t see this woman having a problem telling any man off. I suppose now it’s like that’s how you break up with Sean Penn, I know Robin did some ‘ghosting’ in her times, I tell ya!
She was probably done with him months ago, but held her peace to wrap the movie and appear at Cannes. She seems like she’s got that much emotional control.
As much of an abusive jerk as he is, I get the impression that she isn’t a very nice person either. She seems pretty self-centered and cold. But I’m still glad she’s not with that woman abuser.
It’s one thing to ghost someone if you’ve hung out once or twice and you’re not feeling it. but i find it incredibly rude to do that to someone you’re in a serious relationship with.
Hmm, but what if it was really bad? She’s got a kid, and if he was being difficult, I think it’s totally appropriate to just cut off contact.
I agree if you’ve been in a long term relationship, unless they did something extremely abusive, which I have a feeling he did.
I agree. I have the impression he did something abusive as well. In that situation, I think her reaction is reasonable and keeping her (and her son) safe. I find it hard to believe this reaction is a result of a normal disagreement…..
He was physically abusive to Madonna — which means he probably started out as emotionally abusive (most do). Most likely, Charlene saw signs and ditched him for her safety and that of her son.
I agree, though I have to wonder if Penn is one of those guys who is told it’s over and then just won’t accept it. Given his track record, I wouldn’t be surprised if he did something horrible, and she saw it as a relationship-ending act and he assumed they were fine, as if it was something they could talk through. But otherwise, yes – I agree that if you’re in a committed relationship with someone (lacking any abusive past), you should be an adult and tell the other person that it’s over.
Well, too…remember all his talk about how he’d finally found true love? He probably wasn’t going to go easily. Who’d have ever guessed it would’ve ended like THIS?
That depends on what they do. Hit me once and you’re ghosted. Although you will hear from my brother although not so much in words.
Cheat on me with someone I know? Ghosted. (I could see myself maybe being more forgiving of drunken one nighters with a stranger)
Say/do something bigoted? Ghosted.
If I had a kid and you raged out at them? Ghosted.
The guys I’m with are all well old enough to know those things would mean instant F off forevers. I actually think it’s ruder to do it with someone you’ve only seen a few times who you’re just not feeling it with. Why let them torture themselves over what they did when they didn’t actually do anything?
Yeah, I’m sensitive about that. The one time I’ve been ghosted, (I didn’t know this was a thing), it was by a friend, who I worked with, after I left that job. We knew one another for two years (which was a big deal for me at 22) and we spoke practically everyday. It was a bringing each other lunch and buying her and her kids Christmas presents kinda thing. In fact, a few months after I left that job I played BFF/date/babysitter for her at another former co-worker’s wedding that we attended when her husband flaked. It was after that that I guess she officially didn’t need me anymore or something. She phased me out for a minute and then nothing.
So, if someone is abusive or just plain awful, “ghosting” is probably the best, and maybe only solution. Otherwise, *deep sigh and a wee baby tear* please don’t 😀
Sally, I agree about the ghosting, it’s wrong to do it to someone you were in a serious relationship with. However, in this situation, I have a feeling Penn did something really horrible and abusive.
Good for her, how she could have that toxic abusive man around her son for that long is beyond me.
Do you know Sean Penn’s temper? Remember what he did to Madonna when she broke up with him? Ghosting is the smartest method. Go Charlize.
I just get the impression that he’d be a terrible boyfriend, like emotionally manipulative. I don’t know why I get that impression, but those people are the worst.
Google the police reports of his time with Madonna. He’s straight up abusive. Robin alluded to it too.
Madonna thing was a while ago, but he’s shown a history of manipulation, violence, and control in his relationships.
History predicts a lot. And abusers rarely get better (their recovery rate is the worst of all the addictive behaviours).
Robin was more recent and she hinted around a lot that he was abusive.
And can you imagine him around a toddler child who’s not his own? No way, no how!!!
I think ghosting is generally cowardly (with exceptions) (and I’ve done it before). But it’s Sean Penn, so I can’t hate on her for doing that to him – she probably had a very good reason to do so.
I agree it’s very cowardly. Unless someone hit you, there is no excuse to not at the very least pick up the phone to end a relationship (I think it’s different if you’ve just been on a few dates). Its been done to me and it was so hurtful and disrespectful.
Abuse though comes in all forms — one doesn’t need to be “hit” in order to feel not safe.
North Star- yes you are totally right. I guess I just meant that unless someone is abusive (physical or otherwise) ghosting is not ok. I’m not even passing judgment on Charlize as I am sure Sean pulled some shit. I just see a lot of commenters here saying how they ghosted someone and I just wanted to bring up that it’s really hurtful. The person who did it to me, I found out later that was how he broke up with everyone. THAT is not ok.
I didn’t even ghost a crazy controlling person I dated. I had the decency to tell him “I don’t want to see you anymore” before not returning calls, texts, emails etc.
If he was verbally abusive to her, cutting off communication was the only way to go.
+1
in my country,it names ” cut the bridge”
+1
I also use this term for leaving a party without saying goodbye to anyone. I’ve heard this called an “Irish Exit” before too, but don’t really know why.
Ah the shamrock shuffle. Definitely done it before, when I was too drunk at a party and knew I needed to call it a night before things got bad.
100% Irish-American here (all four grandparents born in Ireland)…OMG, I’ve never heard it referred to as the shamrock shuffle…laughing so hard I have tears rolling down my cheeks.
“Shamrock shuffle”
Dead.
In spanish for that we say ” irse a la francesa” or “to leave a la french mode”
Haha in Germany we say that too, “say goodbye the french way”. I read that the French leave “the English way” …
I call it the “duck-n-roll”. Sometimes it’s necessary LOL
To abruptly cut off all contact or ” ghosting” someone you were once close with, that means something major went down. Sean might have lost his temper with Charlize’s son Jackson? Charlize would probably tell Sean to F ***off if he pulled any crap with her. But doing that to her child? She would freeze him out fast
If you ghost somebody, it usually means that things are really, really bad. You fake them out because you’re genuinely scared that you can’t get out any other way.
Either that or they’re a toxic person (think narcissist/personality disorder) and, while you are not scared for your life, you know that any explanation you give them for ceasing contact will turn into a gaslighting session about how you’re completely wrong about the history of anything that happened, and how you’re the terrible person, not them. Source: ghosted on one childhood friend after many many second chances.
Yup. This.
Exactly. The one time I had to do it, it was with one of these types. The ridiculous part? I still feel a bit guilty about it, but relieved that the “friendship” is long over.
Very true. When I hit my later 20s, I took stock of family and friends who were only bringing negativity and said Bye, Bye!
I just ghosted someone recently. He was making me uncomfortable and when he was bragging about the fact that he and some other guys cyberbullied a girl on a forum, I just didn’t want to deal with him anymore. I don’t need that type of person, who gets joy out of being mean to people, in my life. I blocked him from everything social media-wise and then only had him, again, try adding me to stuff. Again, blocked.
Yep, Senna. Sometimes it doesn’t matter what you say or how you explain, some people are not willing to hear it. Happened with a guy I dated. He overwhelmed me with constant contact (I mean, super over the top). Told him I needed space and he ramped it up, calling me names, telling me I was wrong, cursing, and blowing up my phone at all hours of the day, every day, 20-50 texts, calling me at 2 in the morning leaving messages saying he needed to speak to me and how I was so wrong, etc. It did not endear me to him. It had the opposite effect and pushed me away to the point I stopped responding to him at all saying I didn’t want to speak with him again. Had he given me my space, I would feel so differently about him. But all I saw was an immature man who could not and would not accept anything I said. That is not cool.
Oh Evil Queen, how I love thee!
I know this is a rude thing to do but who cares, it’s Sean Penn she did it to.
The only times I think ghosting someone is ok is if they are abusive or did something cruel. Besides that I have to say no, it’s cruel to ghost someone you have a relationship with and give them no reason what happened and it hurts alot worse than simply breaking things off. If you can’t handle communicating with people write a letter, send a text, something is better than nothing.
It does make you think what happened. They were so lovey dovey just days after Cannes. Then POOF.. After a year. together and talking about how each was the love of their lives. She was so open about him in her interviews. He was the same.
So whatever happened it must have been bad.
yes, but also he was acting very much like a single guy at the U2 after party. If he was trying to get back to Charlize why then openly womanizing and acting like you don’t care? Did he expected she will take him back after he publicly flirted with women?
That’s a Radar story. radar stories never get it right. They also got the timeline of when they finished the movie wrong.
as a Known avowed Board Certified Practicioner of Ghosting ( AKA The Fade) I 100% cackle and Support the F*ck off of this, cause lemme tell you when you are willing and ready to go there you have 3 or 4 scenarios
A) The Clueless First Date /one off wonder where He was a terrible first date or a Bad Lay, and you know men and constructive criticism
B) Known Fuckboy who had warnings this hammer could come down and did it anyways
C) EGREGIOUS FLAG ON THE PLAY where the only possible solution was to scorch the earth
D) the D!ck is Crack but the D!ck attachment is no Good so The only way to wean oneself off it’s to cut that sh!t off
I’m sorry But a LOT of people don’t deserve all these courtesies of a postmortem and closure
LOL! I thought I saw your picture next to the definition of ghosting on the Urban dictionary. Maybe I should join you in being Certified. I seem to be an expert at it. Apparently Charlize is too.
You Might Have, I won’t confirm Nor Deny
I bow to your rules, QQ – in awe with and totally agree with your scenarios.
The dick is crack is the best thing I’ve read yet today.
Ha! QQ rules in her world! I have no problem with ghosting at all. Sometimes when you’re done, you’re done – whether it’s a bad romance or a frenemy stabbed you in the back. What is this need to make nice with people who aren’t nice? Move on! Take out the trash. Ditch the energy vampire. Rear view mirror time.
Oh Girls can Get Ghosted Too, i’ve had to deploy on two clueless souls and THEN the Irony is that eventually they’ve come back to me, lesson learned and we keep it cute and cordial
LOL! Yasssssss!!! I’m totally for ghosting with lame, casual relationships in general. When someone you’re only banging – I’m talking drive-bys and late night booty calls – brings up a relationship, that’s when I disappear. When the sex is whack and boring and there’s just no hope for the brotha, that’s when I disappear.
You Have a Word for the Tabernacle, that’s exactly Rule A, I once ghosted a Guy that wasn’t as advertised upon first date and had the depth of a mud Puddle THEN the next day had the audacity to ask me if I’d Give him a Ride to the airport and That’s when Procedures were Started, This lunatic then proceeded to text me daily (to Non Responses) for 6 entire months, I finally figured a way to block him ( cause this was before iphones got their sh!t together) and he started computer mms somehow, In the end I looked him up online and Lo and Behold Sweetheart had a Record for electronic harassment of someone under 16 and SCADS of women complaining about the same thing SOOOOO next time he tried me after the 7th month mark I fronted like this was the new phone of a child and should this continue The police would be contacted… well, That was THAT
I also have pulled that on Clingy FBuddies or the ones that want to come around on their own Time Table like it’s seasonal P*ssy LOL NO
I’ve always had a CB crush on you QQ and now, it’s true love I think.
Don’t worry, tho. I’m a Scorpio Ghost Girl myself, so no worries.
That’s my favorite way of breaking up with people, only I never knew it had a name. Talk about an ego killer for men. They can’t STAND it when you drop them like a bad habit with no explanation. (But I mean, who can?)
It’s very empowering.
:* Boston Green kissies from me to you
Girl: EXACTLY They just cannot handle That
Your comments are the BEST.
I wish the women in my life would adopt rule D (hahh… it’s appropriate). Best friends, roommates, cousins… none of them can separate good sex from actual love. No physical pleasure is worth emotional anguish.
Listen: I would Only Give advice I can Take and THAT particular jewel I learned was a walk through fire in an emotionally charged situation with one dude who had skills for days, The Type you cry after sex cause HOW.DID.HE.DO.THAT!!?!??!, He was Just OOFF!! to borrow from Known Douche John Mayer Sexual Napalm and BOY was I GONE with the wind behind the D GONE Like Not having extra dudes around as was my practice GONE His love language was also Buy something completely asinine and extravagant when I’d f*ck you Over but then Strong silent type and disappear for days, and Trolling online for like the ego Boost But then not TELL ME it wasn’t going to lead to anything or discuss it period, I told him TWICE that if I had to do this I would and sure enough happened again , a few months of pure Porch rocking amazing Sex, trips and activities and then the nonsense, I caught him redhanded and he decided to sulk and Not Talk
BOOM! To this day I get random Emails from him that are in a flagged inbox I was sulky for a year behind all the ways I coulda been getting it but I got over it, and Now I get my ladies together whenever I have to cause Hey If I can do It , so Can You!
Good for you!!
Congratulations on escaping that cycle… and on having some amazing encounters beforehand. At least you got some benefits out of someone toxic! But the best benefit is probably the wisdom you acquired, and your friends are lucky to have you on their side.
Brittney HEY! and tho I’m not a “things” person or “kept” lady in any way I also got sweet diamonds, and a Huge TV that still makes no sense to me and a sweet sweet Purple Bike SOOO *kanye Shrugs*
I’ve never had good enough sex that would make me stay with a dude who was otherwise an a$$hole. I’ve also never had good enough sex to make me stay with a dude who was a sweetheart. What I am trying to say here is that my short sex life has thus far been tepid, lukewarm, perfunctory.
Charlize, call me and we’ll go trolling for some quality d!ck together. QQ, please join us.
Tag along here, along for the “Ride.”
WHOOO LOLOLOL Listen That was Just SO …*squirm in chair getting flustered from head follicle to toenails* RUDE But I highly recommend that catshit litter Crazy sexcapade period in anyone’s life
but no I can no Longer trollop around looking for those types of “friends” I have a Boyfriend that was probably created in a Corny Storybook and he is Just The Absolute Living end! as a whole person!
QQ, you are everything that is splendid and wonderful. If I had the power to send you a truckload of Champagne, I would do so.
You need to write a real relationship book. This is your calling.
I find ghosting cruel. You have to end a relationship? Fine, but own it. State why in some manner. I can see cutting off contact with someone who is dangerous, but there is no excuse to simply disappear from a person’s life without some explanation. Especially when that person had been important or special to you.
I agree unless the relationship was abusive, then I can understand ghosting. Other than that, I do think you owe a person an explanation.
Given his known history of emotional and physical abuse, I’m very willing to assume that he crossed the line in some major way, either with her or with her son. She seems like somebody who is perfectly able to tell somebody what is going on. I can only assume the offence was so great that she decided no comment was necessary and not a single second of further contact was tolerable.
THIS.
I don’t know. I ghosted once on a boyfriend when I was in my twenties. He didn’t do one single big offense, but a series of smaller things. When I added them all up however, the picture did not look good. In fact, he scared me a little. This was before I knew about personality disorders, so I had a hard time understanding that this person was just bad news. On instinct, I ghosted. Now I’m glad I did.
I would agree that ghosting someone who is a legitimate friend/relationship is cruel. But there are legitimately scary people out there and if your gut is telling you something, it’s ok to ghost.
Pure speculation but maybe he showed signs of his abusive and well known violent behaviour and Charlize (thank God) wasn’t having it. I mean he was also heavily involved in her kid ‘s life, so if she has cut him so abruptly there must be a valid reason.
I feel sorry for her kid: she involved Penn in her family life way too soon, maybe eager to give her kid a father figure, and now that poor little thing is just confused and probably has a feeling of abandonment. Being an adopted child, in Hollywood, with paps everywhere, his life scrutinized and with a mother from a different race, he already has to (and will have too in the future) deal with a lot of issues. I’ve noticed he always looks sad, hardly smiling in pictures.
I have been on the receiving end of it and it feels juvenile. You are an adult, at least be big enough to have a conversation.
And we are talking no abuse here, just friendship that could have ended better.
Have totally ghosted aggressive guys though, that feels appropriate.
“You are an adult, at least be big enough to have a conversation.”
This implies that both parties are mature and civil, and that a conversation would be two-sided or productive in any way. If one person is manipulative and uses “conversation” as a way to control and dominate and get what they want, then the other person absolutely has the right to avoid it completely. She doesn’t owe him anything.
It’s not like things were fine and she cut him off suddenly without an explanation, leaving him scratching his head. This is Sean Penn we’re talking about. They probably had PLENTY of conversations before she decided to shut it down for good. He doesn’t seem like the kind of guy who will take “no” for an answer.
Edit: Ah, okay, I was responding to the first two sentences, before you added the rest. It’s possible to “be big enough” to walk away and never look back, too. That takes quite a lot of courage, actually.
@Madly – I’ve also been on the receiving end of it, actually from a guy who was verbally abusive. So I don’t buy the theory that it’s some form of escape from abuse. It was not in my case. I can’t really complain, because it was a gift to me. I was in a terrible situation that I couldn’t find my way out of, and when it was over it was like a million pounds had been lifted off of me and I was happy for the first time in years. In my opinion, going ghost on someone you were longterm with is a “you’re an asshole” thing the majority of the time. I’ve also gone ghost on aggressive guys, but never anyone I’ve had a lenghty relationship with.
I agree, it definitely felt juvenile to me too! My friend and I were meant to go to a concert one night and I’d bought the tickets with the understanding she’d pay me back. THAT was the night she chose to ghost. To this day I don’t know what the problem was, but I can guess it had something to do with her as I’ve certainly never had any bad friend feedback otherwise. Funny thing is we’re FB friends now and it’s all very cordial but I’ve always had a niggling want to ask for my $80 back.
“Ghosting” sounds more like a survival tactic for abuse victims, and sadly, Charlize knows firsthand that drastic measures are often necessary with manipulative/abusive men.
But I don’t want to assume he abused her, so let’s say it was infidelity instead. Maybe he cheated, got caught/confessed, and she gave him a second chance, with the understanding that it would be OVER — permanently and abruptly — if it happened again. That’s another fair reason to cut someone off completely.
In any case, if there’s truth to this story, it means she’s shutting down any attempts to grovel, apologize, make excuses… AKA manipulate. We all shook our heads when they got together, but it looks like Charlize is as strong as ever. She sees the warning signs and doesn’t put up with them.
+1
“‘Ghosting’ sounds more like a survival tactic for abuse victims.”
IDK about that. I was in an abusive relationship for quite a few years and he finally “ghosted” on me. It was an absolute gift to me, but I think just as much as it might be a way of escaping someone, it’s also a showing of disregard for someone. I don’t have any hurt feelings about it being done to me because after so many times of trying to leave a man who would stalk me, contact my friends and family, beg and cry and refuse to let me go, when he finally went away it was like I had a new lease on life. In my case, it was done as a last attempt to hurt me, not as a way to escape. His hope was that I would be frantic and chase him, and when time passed and I didn’t, he began contacting me again.
Charlize Theron is just as much of an asshole as Sean Penn is. There have been multiple accounts of her being straight up nasty and treating people like they’re beneath her when they try to even say hello to her, and I’ve seen her on talk shows, most recently Jimmy Fallon, and her personality is seriously lacking. I really think that her “ghosting” on Sean, if true, can be chalked up to two assholes being assholes to each other.
I have never seen Charlize being as big of an a hole as Sean has been. Sean has a history of being extremely violent and a jerk. She was funny and lovely on Jimmy Kimmel as usual. She just has a very dry sense of humor that you aren’t picking up on. If she were a man and not a beautiful woman, you would see her as the charming, funny, strong person she is in public. The only reports that matter, that come from people who actually know her and worked with her, is she is really cool and has a personality like one of the guys.
“If she were a man and not a beautiful woman, you would see her as the charming, funny, strong person she is in public.”
Thanks for telling me how I’d feel. I agree that she is beautiful, but that has nothing to do with anything I’ve said. You’re quick to make bold and WRONG assumptions. What about the fans and other “celebs” (meaning less famous ones) who have said she was awful to them? Go fan girl out on someone else’s comments. I’m entitled to my own opinion without some weirdo telling me how wrong I am and how wonderful and cool some woman you’ve never met is.
Ugh, “a personality like one of the guys.” So, Cool Girl then. She’s always struck me as someone who’s an unpleasant bitch to other women, but oh well. I’m glad she left his ass. There are far worse things than being alone. Unfortunately there are too many women who truly don’t know that and think they have to be with someone, even if that someone is a total shitstain like Penn. Nope.
You’re absolutely right that “ghosting” can go both ways — I didn’t think of that, but it’s true. Abuse and alienation go hand-in-hand, and I’m happy to hear you escaped that vicious cycle and can recognize it as a gift.
However… I’d stop short of equating Charlize’s personality flaws with outright physical abuse. I don’t put her on a pedestal at ALL; I actually agree that she’s not a pleasant person, and I wouldn’t be surprised if she “ghosted” someone for no reason at all. But in this case, given both of their histories, I think it’s pretty likely that cutting him off was the only real option.
Hey those are her co workers and friends words, not mine. People here are more critical of beautiful, strong women who are not warm and smiley in public all the time. If she is not smiley all the time and soft and demure, then she must be a bitch. Meanwhile whenever her Mad Max co star Tom Hardy is pictured looking humorless and stone faced at events, people think he’s cool, hot, and edgy. It’s a double standard. She looks like an ice queen, therefore she must be a bitch. Charlize has actually said she is a girls girl. Of course you would assume she isn’t because of how she looks also. Why would you assume she’s not a pleasant person? See, you don’t even know her.
“Maybe he cheated” reason enough to cut him off completely, no second chances needed.
I’m so glad that Sean is out of Jackson’s life. Good for Charlize that she put her son’s safety above the abusive man in her life. Some women wouldn’t.
I think Sean Penn is the type of man you have to cut out completely because if he wants you back or is angry with the other party ending the relationship he will have no respect for your boundaries. Abusive men cannot be reasoned with and they are controlling, manipulative, coercive and dangerous, the only way to deal with them is vanish from their life and have no contact with them.
I believe she saw the real enraged man behind the charming facade he had for her and she realised she needed to run for the hills.
Sure it can be immature but if you’re dealing with a person who gets nasty when angry it actually seems like the more mature way to walk away. She’s probably protecting herself from his toxicity.
A relationship with Sean Penn is, was and always will be all about SEAN.
Ghosting someone is acceptable if
a) the partner is physically abusive
b) the partner repeatedly insults you (ie name-calling, put-downs in regards to career/beliefs/family, derogatory comments about race/social status, etc)
c) the partner makes threats towards you or your family
I’m willing to bet Sean Penn was all of the above. If a partner does none of this, then face to face is the only way if you are in a serious relationship. Any other method is just not OK, period. And says WAY more about the person who ghosts then the person who is ghosted.
I might be reading your comment incorrectly but it sounds as if you are thinking that physical abuse trumps all other kinds of abuse and that’s simply not true. Abuse takes all forms and one isn’t “better” than another.
FYI your A & C both fall under the category of physical abuse (any threat that violates the safety of you or a loved one is considered physical abuse — contact not required to qualify as physical abuse). And B is one form of emotional abuse, and emotional/verbal abuse is ironically, way more traumatic than physical abuse.
I’d amend your list that ghosting is acceptable if there is abuse or toxicity in the relationship. It leaves it more open and flexible for a variety of situations.
Unless you are in an abusive situation I don’t understand ‘ghosting’ on people. Why can’t people talk to each other? I’ve broken up with male and female friends verbally. I think it’s so rude to just cut people off.
She’s known him for years and didn’t know what a dick he is with women? I don’t get it.
This! But Charlize is an arrogant and megalomaniac and of course she thought that her magic vagina will change him and make him fall in love like never before. Ha.
Wow I was right. I jokingly predicted when they hooked up that when it ended she would just drop him and leave him in the dust.
I think there are two types if comments here: people who’ve escaped (or helped a friend escape) a toxic relationship, and people who truly believe all relationships can end through a civilized parting of ways.
Yes, I think it’s impossible for people who’ve never experienced how abusers work to understand that they cannot be reasoned with and how difficult it is for their target to escape their control.
There are also a lot of comments from people who think this is ok to do to friends or family members they have gotten bored of. In my opinion that’s immature and cruel and shows the person is not ready for close human relationships. You can’t just throw people away and ignore them once they are not fun anymore. It’s not all about you, you know. Other people’s feelings matter too and the reason for this action may honestly not be as obvious to the other person as you may think.
I don’t see where anyone said that. Pretty much everyone is saying that ghosting is only acceptable in situations of abuse.
I ghosted an ex who was a total lying, cheating, narcissistic drama queen. He wasn’t necessarily abusive, but he was an awful person and didn’t deserve anything better. I didn’t owe him jack. Felt great.
I am surprised too by the number of people on here saying it is okay to “ghost” friends and family members. I understanding cutting someone off completely if it was an abusive relationship where you are legitimately trying to escape from the person, but the rest? It’s immature and petty. I haven’t cut many people out of my life, but I did have one friendship I ended about 10 years ago. I sent her an email explaining why I didn’t want to be friends anymore, and then that was it. No more contact. It was a toxic friendship, but I still don’t think even she deserved getting “ghosted”.
I had an ex who repeatedly called me crying and or ranting and shouting profane language to me via voicemail or on the phone with me for an entire year after we broke up (basically everytime he got drunk). At times, he would threaten suicide. Believe me, I wish I had ghosted him instead of telling him it wasn’t going to work out. Some adults don’t act like adults.
My toxic ex was more subtle than that. He was always very nice when trying to re-initiate contact, but if I ever opened the door to communication with him, it would quickly result in his criticizing me and all the ways I screwed up the relationship. Which begs the question: Then why are you still contacting me? We’re soooo clearly not right for each other.
Hahaha That was one of my exes too—Clearly I think the issue is people hate rejection and/or want the last word.
The thing is… ghosting is sometimes the best and sadly the safest answer.
This odd belief, that there is some set or rules, about ending things. With a face to face conversation. Which unfortunately, can be extremely dangerous.
Yea… you can have your closure, with a phone call.
I have seen some truly huge nut jobs, that do not accept the “it’s not you it’s me” break up conversation. They do not except that someone is done with them.
Even when they were told straight to their faces. This is over. They take that as an invitation to stalk you. They are determine to “win” you back. They call anyone you have in common.
And sadly, you know this nut job issue… when you decide that ghosting them is the only answer.
But honestly, I have only done the ghost move… after I have ended the relationship. I always did it over the phone. Once I have dumped you. I never go back. I never try to be “friends”. Nope not going to happen. I can behave. But I know when I have dodged a bullet.
The best advice about all of this… once you dump them… never ever let them get you alone. Ever. There has been too many deaths, here in the last decade, over breakup’s.
(I am not even addressing the murders that happen when divorce is involve. And the crazy really gets ramped up.)
Am I the only one who doesn’t think this is a permanent split?
They do have a movie to promote. Either this is a PR stunt and they’ll come back together (I hope not) or something horrible happened and I’m getting the popcorn waiting for the promo tours.
Also: if they did broke up and Charlize isn’t taking him back, I know Penn is still editing that movie and he’s a jealous little b….t so I’m expecting he will make Charlize look awful.
Funny note: this movies was Robin Wright’s project for many years, with Javier Bardem. They couldn’t got financing back then. The script was written by Robin’s best friend Erin Digham. When Sean and Robin divorced, Sean and his business partners bought the project and started pinching Charlize to take the lead. That’s how Penn planned his revenge to hurt Robin. I hate that Charlize knew this and had no girl code and went on it. There you go Charlize. What goes around comes around.
Javier brought the project to Charlize and Sean and begged them to do it. Roles get passed around all the time in Hollywood. Someone was going to play it. Why not Charlize? Charlize didn’t do anything wrong in taking it. It’s not like she was friends with Robin. That would be breaking girl code.
@Tara I’ve mentioned this before but Isabelle Adjani and Jeremy Irons were attached to this project in the late 90s. People have been trying to get this film made for years.
Wow. Did not know that. I agree than, this movie was all about sticking it to Robin. How did Charlize not see that? She may be cold but she is not stupid. She must really want him to overlook a red flag that obvious.
I’m with you. They’ll probably get back together at some point. Then break up again eventually. Maybe for good.
haha all it comes to mind is that Penn has been “ghosted” before: remember when he told Vanity fair that Robin was a ghost for him right after the divorce? And recently he told himself that Robin isn’t in speaking terms with him. So I think both Charlize and Robin figured out that for the sake of their own mental sanity the guy has to be cut off. Go away. Finite. Caput.
I remember that interview and how infuriated I was that he got himself photographed carrying heavy supplies in Haiti, like yeah, I believe you that when there isn’t a photographer near you carry yourself the supplies. Like when he took a photographer with his team when that lame boat soaking occurred in New Orleans to make sure his “efforts” were well documented. The guy is a cheat, in more that one sense.
Robin “ghosted” him after staying for decades. Way to go.
That’s right. So?
I have ghosted a few times before and it is very necessary when you know people won’t get the hint aka that it is over (relationship or friendwise). Sadly some people are full of drama and immature and it is better to rip off the bandaid then let it come off gently. If Charlize did this with Sean, our only guess is he is an emotional abusive person and she felt this was the best course of action.
I get the feeling that cold turkey is the only way to quit that guy. As in, try to break it off face to face and he will lose it completely. Either in a rage or by begging. Good on her for ending it. I feel for her kid though, she made Sean part of their family so quickly. Now the kid has to suffer break up pain too.
Charlize always struck me as the kind of woman who enjoyed a little drama and instability in her relationships (thrived on it, even), but I think becoming a mother changed that. I’m sure Sean can be very charming and convincing, so she gave it a chance. But like many of you have stated I think the facade wore thin, his abusive tendencies reared its ugly head, and she split. Given her family history (don’t forget that her mother killed her abusive father in self-defense) I think it’s safe to say that she won’t stand for that sh*t, especially with a small child involved. All he’d have to do is raise a hand, and she’s out the door. At least I hope she would be.
Given his known history of emotional and physical abuse, I’m very willing to assume that he crossed the line in some major way, either with her or with her son. Temper finally showed up? Wouldn’t surprise me. He must be capable of being very charming or he wouldn’t be where he is now, but keeping up that facade is exhausting and doesn’t last under stress, and eventually the real person shows up.
She seems like somebody who is perfectly able to tell somebody what is going on. I can only assume the offence was so great that she decided no comment was necessary and not a single second of further contact was tolerable. He seems like the kind of guy who needs to be given not an inch of opportunity to pry himself back into your life.
So who thinks they will get back together before their movie comes out? i can see them getting back together, but Charlize will not resume the engagement. I really don’t think she wants to be married and he does.
My gut says whatever he did to upset her, made her feel her child wasn’t safe and that’s that. Done. Ghosting is best tactic in that scenario.
Pure conjecture, just my sense as a mom.
If this is true, then only a few reasons could exist. 1) he hit the kid or her. 2) he cheated . In either case, we are all born with a butthole. No one needs two. I’m glad she finally Bye Felicia’d him.
They are both weird. Charlize is either ice cold and scary in interviews or she badly attempts to be warm and peppy. He just has anger issues and is probably impossible to deal with. But Madonna still loves him and is friends with him and Robin stayed with him for 20 odd years, despite her post split comments. He must have some redeeming qualities. I think both their egos always meant this was a disaster in waiting. it’s just embarrassing that they had to publicly express their undying love for each other a few weeks before splitting. DOH!
All abusers have redeeming qualities otherwise no one would date or marry them. You leave when it becomes apparent that those redeeming qualities are a mirage and he/she isn’t really changing. Sometimes that takes longer to realise that.
I didn’t realize that what I’ve doing since I was kid had a name. “Ghosting”. Who comes up with this stuff?
I am already over the phrase “ghosting”.
good for Charlize, I hope she finds some peace.
More and more it seems like he showed his true violent self to her or maybe her son. In which case I completely understand why she dropped him.
I’ve read all the comments about ghosting, and from what I understand, abused women are ALWAYS told to cut off ALL contact immediately. This is not the same as a healthier relationship, where you’d be concerned for the person’s feelings; safety and mental health trump that, and a sicko has a distorted reaction to things anyway.
Charlize said she and Sean were friends for 20 years. It is not like she doesn’t know him. And can’t believe that in over a year of them being together that she had not seen him angry. She must have seen the comments by him or his history with other women. They had to have discussed Robin and Scarlett; or the other women he has been with and why they broke up.
I know Sean is not liked but I don’t think Charlize is an angel. She brought this man with his history in her life around her child. They in all intents and purposes were living together. She let him play “father to her son”..Even let him care for her child when she was not home. I recall a picture of him and Jackson picking her up at the airport. So as a mother she has a parent bringing a man in her life around her son she has to a better meter to measure a man than a woman that is single and walks away. She now has to explain to her son why Sean is not around. And depending on the reasons it could be an difficult time emotionally for her son. Was it ever implied that Sean would be his “daddy”.. if so what now.
I know everyone is GO GIRL. but she is not a girl.. a grown woman with a child. She made a lot of noise about this “love of her life”.. well not so much it seems.
Abusers tell everyone they will change and/or go long periods of time when they are fantastic. They actually call it the cycle of abuse and friends don’t always see this side of a person. As the relationship goes on, the cycle shortens and the nice periods get shorter and shorter while the abusive part lengthens. Everyone has s different amount that they can tolerate. And no matter how big of a b!tch or an a$$hole they are — doesn’t mean they deserve to be abused.
Abusers make crappy parents so it’s better NOT to have an abusive person around your kid. Good parents do not abuse their child’s other parent.
+1.
I do not think he was an abusive father to his older children or to Charlize’s little boy, but you are right, the kid needs to learn how to be a nice, good man, and if Sean has issues, he is going to struggle when older, just as his older boy is already dealing with consequences.
Ennie
If he’s abusing the mom — that means he exposed the kids to abuse. What you do to moms is shared by the whole family.
True, I am not defending him, I respect him as an actor, he’s is good at what he does. What I am saying is that seemingly, even if he has been abusive(physically or verbally) towards his partners, it is not always the same case against children. I lived in a household with abuse, and it ain’t pretty, it marked us the children pretty badly, but it was mainly between the adults of the house, we lived it but were not a target, or in physical danger. that’s what I meant.
Good that the little boy will have a chance to live in a healthier environment if Charlize is intelligent.
Ennie
That’s actually a common misconception and people that work with abusers stress this a lot. If someone is willing to threaten the safety of one, all are in danger. The threat is implied and used to control other family members.
Um, “friend” in the US means anything from someone you added on FB after meeting one time at a party to a girlfriend you see every time she has a baby to a guy you went to college with twenty years ago. So I wouldn’t put that much meaning into her calling him “friend.”
Well the thing is is that Charlize (to me, at least) implied that this was going to be a forever relationship….because they were both grown (both are over the age of thirty i.e. mature and not interesting in playing games or just having a purely sexual relationship), and have been friends for years upon years (20). I don’t know about you, but I don’t say so and so is my friend if we only went to school together and were maybe friendly. If we’re friends, we’re friends…..if we just know each other or something, I’d say so and so was my friend in school, or we knew each other in school. Charlize basically said that she’d been around Sean for twenty years, and she liked what she saw. That’s on her.
I let my ex break up with me because I knew him very well and I didn’t want to deal with his rage over being the one who was dumped. So after an especially bad fight I called the cops on him and that was “his last straw.” He filed for divorce to “show me”, I signed all the papers and moved to a different state. A month later he was emailing me, begging to come back and telling me he made a mistake of his life. I just “ghosted” him 🙂
Good riddance. I can’t even imagine what she was thinking in the first place…
When there’s violence verbal, physical or emotional, you leave him/her for good and if it’s necessary you report him/her to the police.
We don’t know what happened between these two but I don’t find Charlize childish or immature. I think she has done what she thought was the best for her and her child.
From my experience of dealing with an abusive ex, ghosting is the only option with men like this. Abusive guys do not take kindly to being dumped face to face, and it’s very dangerous to be there when their rage breaks. God, I wish her well.
I am very anti ghosting. I only understand / accept it in cases of potential physical abuse. Otherwise–have the guts to say “we are over” face to face…..and then walk away and don’t answer calls or doorbells. But ghosting as a way of saying its over is pure chicken$h!t. I had a guy do that to me 15 years ago……we are fine one minute, all full of “I love yous”……and then complete disappearance with no explanation and refusal to speak. It truly effs with you to not know, not understand, and be left with WTH?. It still riles me.
a cold turkey immediate “Cut off” sounds a lot to me like what you need to do when someone is physically abusing you.
There are all kinds of abuse in the world. Perhaps he’s hiding his sexual preferences, meaning he’s bisexual and didn’t disclose? Hiding yourself from others may not, in of itself, be considered abusive but ongoing deception perpetrated against someone you claim to love, certainly is.
My ex was emotionally manipulative and impossible to reason with. Took no reponsibilty for his commitment phobia and used his daughter as leverage to suck me in. I said my piece to him and then GHOSTED his ass! He was sending cute photos of his kid as soon as I told him we were done and that he was full of sh%^&…so ghosting was all I could do to maintain my sanity! Its not immature if done correctly and for the right reasons. It might even save your life.
Why why why and how does this man get any action with the lady folk ?
Good lord, he looks like a bums nut-sack and I think I can smell him from here. I haven’t even started on his personality..
Not everyone deserves a good breakup. If she thought that was the safest option, then good for her for listening to her instincts. She doesnt seem to come off as the most friendly person, but she certainly does not look like a dummy either. She should reconsider her taste in men, though 😉
In my experience, passive aggressive “ghosting” simply didn’t work, just inflamed the other party’s sense of injustice and increased their desire to know what was going on. I’ve had several stalkers and confronting them and telling them that we were over, in no uncertain terms, was the only way to get them to back off.
aargh double post
I ghosted the person I had my first sexual experience with. We went to a party, he drank too much, and while his arm was around me he kissed an old girlfriend passionately. I was totally humiliated and heartbroken, walked home and never spoke to him again.
I saw him, by chance, ten years later. He obviously wanted to talk, but I kept on going and never said a word. Not because I wanted to hurt him, or that I even cared, but because I understood who I was and that I owed him nothing.
I don’t know if this ghosting thing tells the whole story of the break up though. People are assuming that they haven’t talked at all since Cannes. A journalist spoke to someone from Charlize’s camp and that person said that Charlize and Sean have the most empathetic split In Hollywood history and they know Sean and Charlize will remain friends. So maybe they got into a fight after Cannes where she ghosted him briefly and then they talked and she called off the wedding with him. I think Sean may have been pressuring her to get married, but Charlize really didn’t want to go through with it.
I feel the same way about it. In a couple of interviews, Sean was the one mentioning future plans/engagement- Charlize didn’t. I believe he was too pushy for her taste. And since they know each other for about 20 years, and started out as friends, it would only make sense they stay friends. I don’t really think it has anything to do with violent behaviour on his part.