I had the chance to read US Magazine’s cover story on Ben Affleck and Jennifer Garner’s alleged marriage problems. There were some quotes that were news to me, assuming that they’re accurate and not creative fiction. According to US’s source, Ben is somewhat henpecked and hemmed in by his wife of ten years, Jennifer Garner, who would rather he not engage in any of his favorite hobbies such as gambling, drinking and hanging out with his buddies. It doesn’t sound true to me, I’m not buying the explanation of their dynamic, but it could be a publicist’s spin on an outcome that many tabloids have been predicting. Here are some parts of US’s report that we haven’t yet covered with more background here and here:
“Jen was embarrassed and pissed off” [when Affleck was busted for counting cards last year] “She feels like she gives him an inch and he takes a mile…”
“He’s tough to be married to because he’s a workaholic… she doesn’t trust him [when he’s away]”
[When Affleck is home] “they speak in short, direct sentences to each other. They can be passive aggressive and dismissive. The only things they talk about are the kids’ schedules or their own schedules…”
“In their dynamic, Jen is the dominating force, which is hard for Ben to deal with… I’ve heard her being dismissive of him.” (In front of the children, however, they’re nothing but cordial. “The kids don’t know anything,” says the Garner source. “Ben and Jen don’t let on to their problems at all.”)
“He likes hanging out with the guys, he likes having a beer and he likes to play some card games… Jen would like it if he never did these things, but that’s who he is.” (A rep for Affleck declined to comment on this story; Garner’s rep could not be reached.)
“Splitting up is Jennifer’s worst nightmare for the children. Her biggest desire has always been to keep the family together… but there’s only so much she can do. There comes a point where she just has to take care of herself and the children.”
[From US Magazine, print edition, June 29, 2015]
To add more credence to these stories, moving vans were spotted outside their mansion. You can see the photos on The Daily Mail, which reports that movers were seen putting furniture and boxes into the vans.
Shortly after outlets pointed out that moving trucks were outside the Afflecks, People Magazine ran an article claiming the two were renovating house. People reports that the two are “remodeling their home, and moving furniture out before construction begins.” Their house is enormous by most people’s standards, so it’s entirely possible that they could be getting something done in one section while living in another. Still, given the fact that divorce rumors have reached a fever pitch, it’s suspicious.
Photos are from 6-10-15 and 6-14-15 credit: Pacific Coast News and FameFlynet
Yay. The purple raincoat is back for the third time in less than a week. 🙂
These are photos we’ve already seen. I’ll add the dates to the photo note at the end.
And Jen’s delightful Nanna sandals and jacket made from upholstory material.
Ya, those sandals are atrocious. Her girlfriends need to do some kind of bad shoe intervention. My BFF had bad shoe taste too and I ended up giving her a few pairs of wedges I was able to part with telling her I needed more space in my closet.
LOL…that’s classic
My memaw has those sandals…….
Hmmm. Perhaps this time it really is a case of “where there is smoke, there is fire”.
I obviously don’t know the in-depth dynamics of their relationship but Ben Affleck has always seemed so disinterested in Jennifer Garner. Oh man. Like when the whole world cringed during his Oscar acceptance speech. That was a such a big jerk move during such an important public event….imagine how he must treat her on a day-to-day basis.
What did he say in his Oscar speech? (I used to ignore anything Affleck, can’t stand him)
I think it’s the one where he said marriage was work. But evidently he did it in such a way as to leave the impression that it wasn’t his favorite job. (Step in and correct me if I’m wrong – maybe he said that on a talk show after whatever he said/did during the Oscar acceptance speech that got him into hot water.) He seems like a smart, arrogant jerk. As is the case with Sean Penn, the only way I’d ever have him in my house is on a TV screen or computer monitor.
Here’s his original statement and there’s a clarification at that link: “I want to thank my wife, I want thank you for working on our marriage for ten Christmases, it’s- uh, it’s- it’s good, it is work, but it’s the best kind of work, and, uh, there’s no one I’d rather work with.“
Thanks!! I only remember his eyerolly comeback”/phoenix-from-the-ashes-narrative. Loved Lainey’s write-up at the time, how her father, after hearing Affleck’s speech, asked what horrible stuff he went through, if he’d been in jail, or survived an illness… “No, he hooked up with the sexiest woman alive and earned millions of dollars by making terrible movies”. Ha.
+1 on the thanks, CB.
The speech was terrible but he also openly discusses how he keeps in touch with his ex, JLo. That’s separation grounds for me – keeping touching with an ex in the manner he described. He said he likes her as a person, that she was smart for getting american idol, and emails her. Awful man.
That’s what does it for me. I mean, some people aren’t particularly lovey-dovey in public, and aren’t good with their words. Fine. I’m the EXACT same way. I don’t really like saying “I love you”, but I try to SHOW it. But around the time of this speech, he was speaking about JLo, how they were still friends/friendly………and he basically just talked a lot more favorably and warmly about her than his actual wife. Except for once or twice (right after the Oscar speech, if I’m remembering right), he’s always talked about Jennifer Garner in terms of how she keeps him on track…..like a business partner. But never actually as a wife that he’s just as in love with/more than when they got married–never romantically. Which, again, some people just aren’t good with their words. But it raises eyebrow when you talk more romantically about your ex than you do your wife.
Hands down worst dressers ever.
She’s probably dressing like that to increase her relatability to moms the world over but damn if she doesn’t wear hideous shit sometimes. I saw her wearing terrible pants in another pic last week and they just made me go, “NO…..please staaaph!”
Right, like in the 1950’s, when Eddie Fisher left Debbie Reynolds for Elizabeth Taylor, and Debbie ran around Beverly Hills with a diaper pinned to her lapel, to remind everyone she was the sweet, wholesome wife and mother who had her husband stolen by the man eating femme fatale – of course never hinting that her marriage to Eddie was DOA long before Taylor showed interest in him.
I’m not a Ben Affleck fan, but rarely is one person responsible for the problems in a marriage. IMO Garner is as culpable as he is – she’s playing the Domestic Goddess role to the hilt to make herself look innocent, ala Debbie Reynolds.
The weird thing is that I’ve never seen real-life mothers ever dress this badly. A lot of people seem more put together as they get older (and have more money, even with kids).
Both people in the marriage might be responsible for the problems in the marriage, but I always figure one person is more at fault than the other. I can’t imagine getting along that well with someone who is an alcoholic gambler like Affleck, so it’s easier for me to see him as the culprit. Ditto for Eddie Fisher. If you run off with some other lady, for sure I’m going to think you’re the one more at fault even if the wife is far from perfect (assuming she’s not ultra-crazy like that lady who let the inmates out of the jail to run around scaring people in NY).
I’ve spent time working with a number of very well-to-do company owners, big media names. even actors and actresses (friends of two of my Sr VPs), etc. You would be amazed at how 75% of them dress in real life. Plain, simple, comfortable like this. They’re busy and have a lot more on their minds — work, charity things, family things, etc. They can clean up and go out looking great when their people are around. Otherwise they may not care. I’ve noticed a few that were raised on the East Coast held the view that it’s “stupid to wear your money on your back” etc. Down to earth, talented people, in simple daily “uniforms” — one Sr VP was a very style-driven man and was always laughingly appalled with two very well known stars who were close personal friends, trying to dress them up, etc. These women would laugh and wave him off. They had big interesting lives and said “we’re not starlets on the hunt (for roles) anymore!!” They were in their 30s. They knew who they are.
So, I think she’d look great dressed differently, but, this is her thing, I guess. Sort of a Colorado/PNW/East Coast casual weekend feeling.
Garner’s clothes sometimes look ill-fititng. I think that’s where she goes wrong in her casual wear and probably why other people look better dressed — real life people seem to wear more properly fitted clothes? In the above set of pictures, her clothes don’t actually look that bad, but they seem to be put oddly together (ie. the jeans with the heels she chose. Maybe flats might have looked better here).
I am a personal fan of running shoes, so I don’t fault her for wearing those. They’re so comfortable!
I can’t believe you’re dragging Debbie Reynolds into this, Epiphany! And if you are going to drag her in and criticize her, please point out that your sainted Eddie Fisher ran off with a fresh widow and abandoned his children to do so. It’s bad enough to be married and unfaithful but how is it ever okay to get involved with someone who has just lost their spouse to tragedy? It’s preying on an emotional cripple, I don’t care what Debbie did in response, Eddie was a creep, and she was well rid of him in the long run.
Their taste in clothes is awful.
It doesn’t takes a big effort to put on a cute pair of flats or a nice top. The time that she spends dressing up would be the same, only her outfit will be different and nicer. No one says to go kardashian with heels,”perfect” make up and hair.
Some people say that she’s a mother and has no time (because she doesn’t have nannies yeah) but I believe she just tasteless. I don’t have their money and still dress better than Jen.
She wears flats ALL the time too.
@Dana M she wears the UGLIEST flats all the time,that’s the problem lol
Her shoe game is second hand embarrassing. They need burned. There are Payless shoppers with better shoes.
She has a foot condition where something is wrong with one of her toes. Thus she has less attractive shoes for comfort.
+1 x infinity.
She does wear nice heals on the red carpet and wears nice boots. It’s the casual shoes that kill me. Her sandals are also dreadful. I’m a fashionista which may explain iwhy I’m highly critical.
@Merrit I don’t know if she has a foot condition but you can find cute and comfortable shoes in the market,especially with the money she has. She doesn’t have a limited budget like most people.
Also these hideous shoes with the wooden block heels that she’s wearing don’t scream comfort to me.
@Greek chic
Do people need cute shoes to run errands and go through their normal day? If that is not important to you, then why do it? It sounds like people basically want her to wear shoes that are pleasing to them and not her.
Greek chic :Ya the ugliest flats for sure. Poor Jen. Her stylist should say something.
@Merritt with cute shoes I don’t mean heels,just not ugly.Its not that difficult. I am sure you and most commenters here have better taste,because seriously I see cuter shoes on the street.
To answer your question no,its not important to me if people are wearing nice shoes to do their errands but here its a gossip site. We talk about other people,their life and their fashion. In this case I am not a fan of them individually or as couple so I prefer to talk about their clothes.I’m sure jen wont be hurt because i dont like her shoes.
Also it’s not important to me if Garner and Affleck are divorcing or Colin Farell has 800 babies or Leanne Times is pregnant but we talk about too.
@Greek Chic
But it is her toe where the problem is. I wore a pair of ballet flats during the spring that looked innocuous, but after a few hours of shopping, I had giant blisters on both pinkie toes. Giant blisters, that I had to lance and drain. And while I get that Jennifer has a bigger shoe budget than I do, and could probably have some shoes custom made if she really wanted, the fashion industry is really lacking. Consider the shoes that actresses force their feet into, most podiatrists cringe when they see these shoes.
I have knee and foot issues, yet I wear Clark’s sandals that are comfortable, and yes, chic. Garner dresses like a tasteless midwestern housewife. I am from the East coast, so I know the preppie casual look, and live in the PNW so know the NW Fleece look. She is just a mess.
Wow. Why are we laying into them so hard for looking like normal people? (Except maybe for that purple coat) we want so badly for celebs to be just like us, but god forbid they actually are. They get lambasted.
They both look like normal parents out with their kids.
Poster named Absolutely: I absolutely agree.
No kidding, why so harsh? I wear one of a dozen of the same lands end t shirts, levi’s and birkenstocks everyday. Dressing up is a chore I detest. I think she looks comfortable, and good for her.
I appreciate that fact that they dress like “normal” people and she doesn’t wear stilettos or ten pounds of make-up for a grocery run (I’m looking at you Kardashians). I almost always wear flats because I have bad feet. So it’s not her comfort level that offends me, it’s her God awful taste. It’s bad, very bad.
I love some of her flat shoes. She is tall so she wears a lot of FLAT shoes. Should she wear heels on her everyday run?
I think people want her to be KKardashian, always with high heels and stuff, then they’d criticize for overdoing, for dressing up just to get papped.. I don’t see anything wrong with their clothes, they’re casual wear.. But ok..
I guess none of you have ever been to a Walmart?
Even if Ben was moving out, would he really need moving vans? I’m sure they aren’t spitting the furniture….I mean, it’s not like he can’t afford to furnish his new bachelor pad! I say, it is renovation…but, who really knows?
That’s what I was thinking. I’d think he’s the kind of guy to take a bag with a few clothes and go somewhere already furnished.
Funny, Esmom…there’s an apartment complex near where I used to work that’s supposed to be temporary corporate housing but is actually more “home” to separated or divorced men (kinda sad when you think about it).
Ben’s more likely to go stay in one of the palatial houses of friends like Matt or hole up at the Bel-Air…seems a bit premature to be moving out furniture, but what do I know about how far gonebabygone this marriage is.
Yeah, wouldn’t he just go to a hotel or something for a bit? Maybe they are having issues, but the tabloids are trying to create a story where there might not be one.
I remember a little while ago Radar insisted Nicole Richie and her husband were splitting up, because of rumors and a moving van at the house. Turns out they were just…moving.
It depends on what they were moving. I picture Ben with a big Man Cave with lots of video games, foosball table, perhaps a huge poker table. Some memorabilia. Perhaps he’s just taking his “stuff.” I really am pulling for these two to make it work though. I like Ben and I like Jen and they seem to be good parents with nice kids. Make it work, you two!
I feel the same way. Never hated him or her; although I haven’t really been keeping tabs. They have the prettiest daughters, who seem so well adjusted. I hope they make it work.
Legal advice.
By moving out now, he is establishing the date of separation as the day the moving truck came, so if/when the divorce filing happens he can contest the ending date as being before the ten-year mark.
Hmmm…very insightful PennyLane. A few days ago, someone on here commented that Ben was seen in W.V., probably visiting with Jen’s family for Father’s Day. Could Ben and his camp be so conniving that he is acting that “all is well” but, unbeknownst to Jen, he had the movers hired to establish a “separation date”. I remember when this news first broke, Ben wanted Jennifer to make an announcement of their separation prior to their 10th anniversary. That didn’t seem to be happening and perhaps the movers are Plan B…to firmly establish a separation date prior to the 10 year mark. Thankfully, the children were in W.V. also and therefore were not witness to the movers.
i feel like its people looking for stuff that fits the narrative. i dont care about their marriage either way but its almost like bullying now where the gossip mags try to make them break up with all this pressure and scrutiny.
That’s a great point Mila and I totally agree. Gossip mags expect the celebs to always do something worth a story ( read….normal living) and when they can’t get the stories, they begin to make up stories with just a hint of truth. It’s disgusting. I rarely believe a word in any of the likes of Star, Hello, US magazine, etc. unless there have accompanying photos that prove the story, i.e. Kristen Stewart scandal and a few others. I might, however believe some stories that People mag puts out there, but they’ve been crossing the line with gossip for a while now.
This website (no offense CB) is no different than any others, Gossip Cop, E online, Lainey, in that the gossip stories from the shady rags are perpetuated and somehow take on more believability. I definitely indulge in reading all of them for fun but do I believe half of what is said….no.
I feel like a lot of people don’t understand what bullying is and they apply the term to situations that in no way resemble actual bullying.
The moving van is definitely suspicious, and I don’t understand why they haven’t just released a statement if they aren’t splitting up, it would be so easy to simply say otherwise, that’s why I’m thinking the rumors are true! Makes me sad, I was pulling for them, but if he’s really such a douche then she deserves better, she seems genuinely sweet.
Why feed the beast? If they put out a statement that they aren’t splitting, people will only take that as proof they are splitting. Just saying. They are damned if the do and damned if they don’t.
But they are feeding the beast with sudden twice weekly pap walks. Affleck can go months without being photographed with his wife or children, then suddenly he’s with them everywhere there’s a camera?
Putting out a simple statement when the rumours started would have fanned the flames a lot less than the show they’ve been putting on. They’re responding and reacting to all the stories, just in a really stupid way.
@swack
I agree. It is a lose-lose situation. If they are splitting then there is no need to issue a denial and it would be awkward later on. Remember when Eva Longoria and Tony Parker split, and her people issued a denial right before he filed for divorce. It was just awkward. If Garner and Affleck are not splitting then issuing a denial just invites more attention to the relationship.
I think their reps actually did make a comment about this and said, something to the effect that their marriage was fine and none of the rumors were true. I’m not sure where I read that but I will look it up.
I’m reminded of all the reports that said Will and Jada were going to divorce soon. I waited then because I thought it was unlikely a power couple would do that. I’ll wait now too. They may be having a super rough patch and testing the public response but I don’t know. I think they may stick together a little while more. At least until Batman opens.
But why a moving van? I can see after a divorce you take the belongings you have agreed to split to your new place. But both Ben and Jennifer are very wealthy so both could afford to rent a nice furnished place until a/if divorce is settled.
Exactly. The renovation explanation sounds plausible in this case. First off, if they’re trying to prove the tabloids wrong by going out to the market together .. why would they let them see a moving van taking his things out? I highly doubt if Ben did move out, that he’d be taking furniture from their house that the kids live in. He’d furnish his new place, or rent a furnished home. Silly.
Weird timing. If it’s renovations you’d think they’d have put it on hold for a few weeks, given how aware they are of the paps and how much they play the game. If they booked a moving van for the weekend people were speculating they were going to announce a separation, it’s because they wanted that to be seen for some reason.
But if nothing is going on, why put your life or plans on hold due to gossip? Obviously they could be splitting, I don’t know. But I don’t see the point in changing plans because of rumors.
Sure, most people wouldn’t. But most people also wouldn’t start doing family pap walks in response to tabloid rumours. Most people wouldn’t put their kid in a Batman t-shirt and call the paps after a casting decision was poorly received. The way these two behave is very much influenced by the fact they’ll be photographed. Given all the ‘look at us spending time together’ pap walks they’ve been doing, I find it hard to believe they weren’t aware or didn’t care about what a moving van would suggest.
I think that would be tough. An in-demand contractor could be booked solid for the next six months, you can’t just call up at the last minute and tell them “no, wait a few weeks.” Just have to bite the bullet and let the tabs say what they’ll say.
They have a truly massive house, and that was a medium sized moving van that only made one trip. I’m sure everything they removed could have simply been moved to a different area of the house for a week or two while the rumours are at fever pitch.
Don’t tell me the kids don’t suspect anything. Kids are smart and intuitive. If it’s falling apart, they know, and they’ve known for a while.
Eh, I think it could go either way. Some kids are indeed intuitive and can pick up on subtle signals but others are pretty clueless, especially if their days are filled with activities and dad is busy working much of the time.
Yep, Mom keeps ’em busy, and Dad’s not around enough for them to argue much, though their interactions may be brief and tense…
If the kids sense anything at all, it’s the distance, literally and figuratively, that’s been growing for some time.
I thought this, too. And, violet is 9 and if she doesn’t yet, which I doubt, she will soon read things online about her parents. Number 1 reason I wouldn’t want that kind of fame.
This. Kids pick up on everything. Even if they don’t understand it, even if they’ll never understand it, they’re taking it all in.
The only people I’ve met who weren’t aware when they’re parents were going through some stuff, are people who grew up in really dysfunctional homes and took so much of it in they didn’t even realise their ‘normal’ wasn’t normal. Like the girl I knew in high school who thought it was weird that my parents had actual conversations and looked each other in the eye and couldn’t be convinced her parents were the weird ones. Or my ex-boyfriend who thought everyone’s parents communicated solely through extreme passive-aggression.
These stories have moved into overkill. They seemed to think the pap walks would stop the talk, (how they thought they would help if Affleck had a permanent glower on his face is beyond me), but it just seemed to inflame the paps who were looking for “evidence” of something being wrong. They just need to take a long vacation somewhere out of the spotlight, stop with the pap walks and wait until it all blows over. If they stay together or not, only time will tell, but they need to leave it alone for awhile.
Bullshit@”The kids don’t know anything.” That line made me sad.
The story also mentioned that “the problems they have now are the problems they’ve had from the beginning.” That they began “butting heads” early on based on their personalities – “she, a mild-mannered Virginia native, and he’s a quick-witted Bostonian.”
I’m from Boston, and I get that personality type. I’ve always said – they just seem like two people who aren’t a good personality or chemistry match at all.
So true, JoJo, we are sarcastic, aren’t we? As a Bostonian in LA, this is something I also find and appreciate in NYers.
(Jen’s actually from West Virginia, I think, but no matter…)
The shared sense of humor, or lack of it, is one thing, but Ben also grew up having dinner table discussions of politics and social issues with his own mother. Maybe this is what he also needs in a wife?
Ben Affleck and Jennifer Garner have very little in common beside their children and their shared profession. This is a woman whose preferred curse word is “rats” and Ben Affleck never met a 4 letter word he didn’t like. She’s wholesome, he’s a drinker and a gambler.
Ben’s team is trying to make his liking to drink beer so innocent but when someone’s an alcoholic it’s not that innocent.
Why would she be embarrassed by Ben counting cards, though? All that shows is that he’s a smart guy who can remember what’s been played. My husband doesn’t gamble but he counts cards and I enjoy seeing his mind at work.
I’m not a card player but I’ve never understood the sin of card counting. From what you’ve described it seems like a game of memory and counting which seems harmlessly to me.
It just sounds as if the casinos hate that someone has some sort of advantage. Yet the casinos have no trouble plying people with drinks while they gamble their life saving away.
The counting cards issues is purely a house issue. The house never loses. Basically, counting cards gives you a leg up against the house–they don’t care if you’re better than the next player in, say, high stakes poker. But if you’re at the Blackjack table, the cards aren’t shuffled after each play, there are four or five decks the dealer’s dealing with, and you’re playing against the house–no one else, so if you’re good, you can beat the house and win big. That’s a big fat no-no.
Affleck’s problem is that he’s not good ENOUGH at counting cards, in that he must look like he’s counting them. You can’t be obvious or look like you’re studying what was played or count with your lips moving. You will get the unceremonious boot.
Two–two minutes to Wapner.
@pinky
“Two minutes to Wapner”
You are awesome! Lol
@pinky- I love the mental image of Ben trying and failing to do mental math, but I’m thinking that if the casino went as far as banning him that implies he was actually good at it. Good enough that it started to cost them money. Even if the casino suspects you of counting, my bet (ha!) is that they’ll still take your money if you suck at it and keep losing.
There was an article a few years ago in the Hollywood Reporter about the private poker games in LA, I’ve been meaning to track down the book it was from. The A-list names and amounts of money involved were breathtaking. Ben was prominently featured.
Casinos are solely in the business of making money, and card counting gives people a distinct advantage.
So i guess that’s where bluffing comes into play like the players in poker who wear sunglasses. Ben has a awful poker face.
One more question. Is there a big difference between the regular casino and playing casino on a reservation? I think he was playing at a reservation.
@funcake, I’m hardly an expert but I think blackjack is blackjack everywhere, the only difference might be how much you can wager per hand which probably varies by state and maybe even by reservation.
The big difference (especially to the casino) is whether you are playing poker or blackjack. Most serious gamblers gravitate to blackjack because it’s the game where the odds that favor the house are so small, only about 1% if you play each hand perfectly. A good counter can eliminate the house edge by betting larger amounts when they calculate their odds are better. If you bet $50 a hand for many hands, suddenly jump to $1000 and start winning big, that’s a huge giveaway you’ve been counting and if you do it a lot you’ll be invited to play a different game or leave the premises entirely. I think this is what happened to Ben in several casinos (Vegas and other places).
Poker is usually not house-banked, you play against other players to win their money rather than trying to win the casino’s money, so the casinos probably don’t care that you can calculate the odds of each hand at the table in your head on the fly. Poker is a game where skill gives you a distinct advantage over other players, luck is a small part but calculating odds and reading your opponent will take you much further than just plain luck. As far as I know, there’s no rule against doing the math in your head when you play poker.
Well, maybe in the same way having a beer isn’t innocent when you’re an alcoholic, counting cards isn’t so innocent when you’ve got a gambling problem.
It is super annoying that Ben is portrayed as the “hen-pecked husband” who just wants to have a few beers and play cards with his guy friends once in a while. He has been to rehab for substance abuse and gambling problems in the past, before he married Jennifer. Someone who has these kinds of issues isn’t capable of the occasional card game or casual beer. Jennifer has every right to be pissed off when he falls off the wagon.
But I guess the old trope about the bitchy, controlling wife is more interesting….
Exactly. I almost wonder if this story is coming from somebody in Ben’s camp.
I think Ben’s camp is the main one talking to the press. It seems like at this point their objective is to get him out of this marriage in the very near future. They know she’ll get all the sympathy from the public so they’re putting out a narrative that will at least get them those 15% that still believe the “nagging controlling wife” narrative.
Yeah everyone forgets his rehab stint and it was for alcohol and gambling!
She’s no saint and she is all about her image but he is an active addict.
Yeah, I’m no fan of Jen, but I think she gave Ben a pretty long leash for awhile and only tried rein him in when he stopped staying at home or started showing signs of trouble…
It’s unfair to either one of them, though, or anyone in this situation to assign these roles, Jen the henpecking nag and Ben the degenerate cheater, as it takes two, and I believe they were mismatched from the start.
Unfortunately, she was in love with him more than he was with her, and while I do think he cares about her, there’s just not enough excitement there for him at home.
I’ve never understood that some women (and men as well) feel they own their spouse…..” I think she gave Ben a pretty long leash….”. Why does any married person feel you give your spouse a leash or rein? That sounds so Medieval IMO.
Whoa, suziekew, it’s a figure of speech! And it’s hardly more offensive than the “nag vs cheater” narrative that’s been going on here…
As one who has never wanted to marry-and-have-children just for the sake of doing so, I’m still fascinated by the relationship dynamics of why and how people marry.
Also, you’ll have to pardon me because I do petcare – and now that business is getting busy, managing dogs (on or off-leash) is all I can think about today.
Being married doesn’t mean that you own your spouse, but Ben Affleck is famously his own worst enemy. Garner has had a huge part in helping rehab his image and career, and he is pretty famously a crappy husband.
We’re also not just talking about marriage here, but one with someone who has known addiction problems. When I referred to the leash and reining him in, I was more thinking of how Jen has probably tried helping him over the years.
I think its been confirmed that they are moving to a new house…together. I read that yesterday.
I always felt he was never interested in marriage & was happy when Bennifer 1.0 ended. Jennifer Garner got pregnant 8 months into them dating (some people say intentionally), I’ve always felt like he went along with the marriage but was never really that into her or the idea of marriage.
The moving van and remodeling excuse could be true. If Ben and Jen live apart while this remodeling is happening though… That’s evidence. As it is now… not much.
If true, I feel he’s a little too old to want to hang out with his friends in order to gamble instead of being with his wife, so I guess I’m Team Garner? She doesn’t sound dominating — she sounds like a wife who expects the husband to act like a husband.
She’s got that political wife thing going on, so I think she’ll hang on until she can’t anymore.
I remember after Kristen Stewart cheated on Robert Pattinson, a tabloid, I believe it was the Daily Mail, parked a moving van out in front of their house. It was parked on the road like this one when there was surely ample space in the driveway. I’m suspicious. Tabloids and paparazzi are ruthless. They’ll do anything to drive a story and make some money. A couple hundred bucks for a truck rental, when you can sell the pictures for $100,000?
lol i remember this, the “free rob” campaign.
I suppose we’ll know in the next couple of weeks. It wouldn’t be surprising if it was true because they don’t seen a comfortable fit for each other. She’s very mumsy and has her entire identity invested in being seen as the perfect mother who’s somehow too busy to shower, tidy herself up and wear flattering clothes despite school age kids and nannies to help. That might appeal to a certain type of mother demographic fan wise but it’s a turn off for most husbands. It’s hard enough to be faithful if you’re attractive enough to have sexy people trying to tempt you, multiply that by a million if you’re an a lister with access to the hottest temptations in the world and tbh if your partner can’t be bothered cleaning themselves up for you then they don’t care so why would you turn an appealing prospect down?
Not saying that’s what happened but I wouldn’t be surprised if he had a replacement in the wings.
Yep, it’s her fault. She doesn’t dress sexy enough for poor long suffering Ben. Shame on you, Jennifer. Men need their wives to be hot all the time or they’ll leave you. Love and commitment mean nothing when you have hot girls roaming about all the time. (sarcasm)
SERIOUSLY. Gah.
First of all…I think Ben is much more comfortable with Jen Garner’s, shall we call it, “down to earth” look than jLo’s, “high matenaince look”…Ben looked gorgeous when JLO was dolling and dressing him up, but I get the feeling the real Ben is a slob, and is more like Jen Garner…and secondlly, REALLY, in this day and age, you really think that a woman needs to make herself hot everyday to keep her man…wow…you have set women’s lib back 50 years!
^^THIS. A million times.
Yeah, I don’t think it’s her or their sartorial sense that’s causing the problems here…
As I recall, when they first got together, there were plenty of pap photos of them doing Sunday morning Starbucks runs, looking comfortable and loved up together. She was a soft landing for him after the bustup of the original Bennifer behemoth.
Sadly, I think she was always more into him from the very start, and dressing more sexily won’t change that.
You think Jennifer Garner is unclean? Like she doesn’t take showers as often as she should? That is just bizarre. I have never seen photos of her looking greasy or dirty. She always looks freshly scrubbed. In fact, I would say that is the look that she aims for — the clean, natural look. Yes, she is frumpy, but then, so is Affleck!
Frankly, Garner and Affleck are at exactly the same attractiveness level and level of grooming/fashion. They are a perfect match, physically. Probably not psychologically, though.
For whatever reason, I’ve never felt like he was that in love with her right from the start. I think she loves him, maybe thought she could save him from his demons (as many women do with “bad boys”) and create a family together, but I think he’s been checked out of the marriage for a long time. In fact, I think even before their last child was born. He just hasn’t seemed happy in forever and has never seemed crazy in love with her. They are just not a good match.
I think he has a lot of issues with gambling and drinking and cheating and she has tried for a long time to make the marriage work. I don’t think she wants to split up, but she may not have a choice anymore. Frankly, it might be for the best. She deserves someone who appreciates her and loves her for her.
Jennifer Garner looks usually more well put-together than Ben. Why are people always claiming she has let herself go? She has a nice body, too and Ben himself often looks puffy or like he has a hangover. Why aren’t people saying he has let himself go and should shave the beard or something?
FATMAN!
i just wish that they would just split up once and for all. everytime u see them out they always look so glum esp ben who looks like he wd prefer being somewhere else. I think that he sd not have married because he has lots of issues it seems and it also makes jennifer garner so desperate to cling on the marriage for what exactly? it is wonderful if both want to make the marriage work but i think that ben just doesnt want to – and maybe it wd be better for them to have a clean break once and for all. there are some relationships that are so toxic that simply cant be worked out and this sadly seems to be one of them. abt the children – i think using the kids as an excuse to stay in a marriage where garner has said that she is like a single parent etc because he works a lot doesnt point to family unity.
Agree with those who said it’s unlikely he’d be bringing furniture with him if he was actually moving. However, the renovation story sounds kind of fishy — didn’t they move into a brand new, custom built home just a few years back? I remember Jen was pregnant at the time it was being built and there were pap pictures of them visiting the site. I’m sure they wouldn’t have scrimped on anything or taken short cuts, hence, I am doubting they are renovating so soon.
Am I the only one who thinks they are playing this for publicity for his upcoming movies? They both know the game far to well to have a moving truck show up before the official announcement (if there is one coming; I doubt it)
HA – there is no bad publicity!
So, Jennifer Lopez is considered lame for hanging out with Casper that constantly cheats on her, Jennifer Aniston is trashed for playing the baby/ engagement/ media game but this lady is somehow not called out for being pathetic, for living her life hanging on to a man that obviously has never felt a great love for her.
To my understanding, when you’re sticking in a bad marriage it doesn’t mean that you are lame, you are just a fighter. Or maybe she is fighting for her children, children that she chose to have with THIS man – Affleck was never different from what he is now, she knew the deal going in.
This is the society that we live in: If you are an irresponsible woman that happens to be married you get away with being lame and you’re even called a brave mother, if you are a single irresponsible woman, you are an idiot and a loser.
I would like Garner being called out for being a clinger and a famewhore just like Kim Kardashian is everyday. She likes the attention that comes with being Affleck’s wife.
I don’t buy that she wants out. She put up with Affleck until now, why stop? Moreover, Affleck’s struggles made her the perfect, supporting wife that she is today – without him being so flawed, she wouldn’t look so perfect and responsible. I will however believe that Affleck wants out.
Can’t they both be kind of crappy?
I just see him as a selfish , self destructive, man boy with severe addictions and her as an enabling, and fake hypocrite.
I won’t take sides til I see how this plays out.
Having kids probably complicates the situation. If I had kids with someone, I could see myself being more likely to want to work things out. I don’t know if Garner is right or wrong — just saying that I could see why she wants things to work simply because kids are involved. I wonder if the number of kids also makes it harder to let go. Maybe if she had only kid with him, it might be easier to make a break? Even then, I could still seeing it be hard to close your eyes on the idea of having a family together even if it’s not the most ideal family around.
als, that is so true! I’m really sick of that stereotype…the woman hanging in there so she can say proudly that they’ve been married for X number of years. I have an aunt who is like this. She is married to a man who has treated her horribly. He molested me when I was a little girl over a period of years and when she told me that she suspected a neighbour might be molesting their little girl because her underwear was on backwards, I broke down and told her what happened to me. She never spoke to me again for decades. She recently tried to friend me on FB but no message, so I went to her FB page to see if she had finally kicked him to the curb now that the kids were grown. I knew she had gone back to teaching and made it to principal of a private highschool and so she really didn’t “need” him, and I knew he had been horrible to her and the kids and yet her FB proudly proclaimed that they’d been married almost 50 years now and that he was the love of her life. It’s like she wore being married so long as a badge of honour…but is it really such a wonderful thing that you stuck with someone horrible for so many years? Someone who didn’t love you and/or treats you horribly? Just so you could say you stuck it out? I don’t get that. I’m not saying agree with people who marry and divorce constantly and barely try once the romance wears off, but a woman who evaluates her marriage and her life and chooses not to remain with someone who is not trying and is not treating her with the respect and caring that she deserves and gives to him… well I think they are brave to leave and try for a better life. As long as both parents put the needs of their kids first, the kids will be fine. Better than living in a house with both parents who fight and scream or denigrate each other where there is tension and anger and sorrow all the time.
Suzy, I am sorry for what you went through. Unfortunately, under the umbrella of socially accepted institutions like marriage many things go wrong and instead of acknowledging them, people just cover them up.
Truth ALS!
Imagine if the math had shown J. Lo knew she was pregnant when she went down the aisle with Marc Anthony, or if she had been and she and Ben went through with their wedding during their crazy relationship. She would’ve been so raked over the coals, even more. But if you’re a white, apple-cheeked, Ina Garten-loving sweetie pie who is BFFs with stealth sharks like Reese Witherspoon, it’s very different, right? Uh huh.
A famewhore is a famewhore is a famewhore. I think wearing a green Versace dress slit to your navel is less significant on the Famewhore Richter Scale than coordinating pap walks when you’re with your kids and your MISERABLE looking husband as you beam cutely to show your pure wifely innocence to the photographers conveniently capturing you.
By the same token, why does he stay married to her? Garner is being criticized for sticking with him, but if the marriage is that bad, why is he sticking with her? The same criticism could easily be levelled at him too. He has the resources to walk if he wants to.
Kind of harsh, but I agree somewhat with ALS. It’s amazing how everyone seems to want to buy into the “wronged woman” narrative when it comes to Jen, yet there’s such fierce hatred for other women that have been in similar situations. All I’m saying is, whatever is going on, if anything, why does everyone play into the narrative that it’s entirely Ben’s fault – no one even knows the real situation or what these two are really like. So what if he has vices? She knew that going into the marriage and didn’t have just one child but continued on to have three, knowing full well all of his supposed faults. So, it was all “eyes wide open” on her end. I’m not saying the man doesn’t have serious issues, but it’s amazing to me the way everyone immediately believes the narrative that’s portrayed in the media, which is typical. “Bad husband who doesn’t know what’s good for him and poor, saintly wife.” Ugh. Please. Is it just too boring for everyone to just think maybe there’s something more fundamentally wrong between these two people?
People are stupid. She’s FOS but grins at them.
The real Jennifer Garner was quoted on sexism, and in her stupid-person’s appropriation of #askhermore, ironically had this to say (and this was reprinted in Celebitchy last October):
“She went on, “So for example, my husband and I do kind of the same job, a little bit. Not long ago we both had one of those magical days, we call it a junket, where we both attended these lovely events where people come in every four minutes, they ask the same questions over and over again, you know the drill. We got home at night and we compared notes. And I told him every single person who interviewed me, I mean every single one, and this is true of the red carpet here tonight Elle, asked me, ‘How do you balance work and family?’ and he said the only thing that people asked him repeatedly was about the tits on the ‘Blurred Lines’ girl, which, for the record if we’re talking about them, they are real and they are fabulous [Garner’s referencing Affleck’s Gone Girl co-star Emily Ratajkowski]. Take a look and enjoy.”
After a pause for laughter, Garner continued, “As for work-life balance, he said no one asked him about it that day. As a matter of fact, no one had ever asked him about it. And we do share the same family. Isn’t it time to kinda change that conversation?””
Garner was at the Women in Hollywood event. What did she do? Referred to Emily’s ‘tits,’ told the audience to ‘enjoy’ staring at them, and did her damndest to objectify the woman that her husband apparently was crushing on. SHE is a vile, jealous person. She is also sexist, manipulative and smug. If the marriage is as wretched as Ben’s facial expressions suggest, I would bet anything that Garner gave her 50%, for sure.
I agree, the hypocrisy of giving a speech to promote women being treated as equal to men and then objectifying a young woman in front of a huge audience as a pair of tits to be sleazed over is so offensive. I don’t believe she’s as nice as the image she likes to project. That dig as Emily came across as very passive aggressive and was intended to demean her.
I have to say the girls in the Blurred Lines video objectified themselves of there own free will.
That woman (Emily something-something?) objectified herself (and seems to believe in objectifying herself too.)
I didn’t take it that way- I saw her remark that they are real as a reference to the Seinfeld episode where a woman says to Seinfeld, yes they’re real and theyre glorious or something. Of course, its probably not for jennifer to say about another womans breast, but I felt she was playing up the sexism of all the questions, including the questions to ben.
He has a history that precedes him. We all know he’s an alcoholic, and alcoholics don’t have a reputation for being easy to deal with. That’s why it’s easier to see him as being the one at fault. If he had Brad Pitt’s easy-going reputation, people would probably be more kind to him. But the fact is he doesn’t.
I don’t think of Jennifer Garner as a saint in general or in all of the history of humanity, but next to him she looks really good. Had she married Matt Damon, the narrative would probably be different (i.e she might be seen as the not so good one and Matt would probably be seen as enduring a lot). I think Affleck has no one else to blame but himself for his reputation. He wants to blame J-Lo for why people perceive him a certain way but I don’t think J-LO either should bear the blame for why people think he’s a tool.
Usually women are seen as the villains in these tabloid narratives (i.e Aniston, Amal, Jolie, Michelle Williams, Meg Ryan, etc.), so it’s kind of amazing to me how bad Affleck’s reputation is that he can’t manage to come out looking good against the wife. Honestly, he wouldn’t have this problem if he was some other male movie star. The tabloids will usually go to great pains to make the other dudes look good. He’s a bit of an anomaly among male movie stars in not getting some kind of decent press so maybe he’s that hopeless.
In terms of self-objectification – I personally find the argument offensive (replying to you and @meme above, couldn’t do it in the space there.)
None of my work calls for nudity and I’d in fact get arrested like most folks. But I also don’t care and don’t sneer at people where nudity is occasionally part of the game – video models, strippers, S.I. models, whatever. What do I care? I don’t. I also don’t care if my husband notices, but then again, we did nothing and I specifically did nothing to push for marriage in a hasty way. I didn’t pant after him until he said I do, or participate in my own wedding knocked up, and don’t drag my kid and husband around to show my neighborhood how happy-happy we are when we’re out buying fruit. It’s transparent and desperado
She is a gamer. Jennifer obviously heard like the rest of the Western world that Ben specifically, allegedly, encouraged Fincher to cast Ratjakowski as his love scene partner. So in a speech targeting women and sexism in their chosen field, she refers to Emily’s ‘tits’ and faux-compliments her on them. She reduces her to body parts. It’s not feminist and it’s not okay. If you look at the whole of her behavior, it’s pathetic and desperate and really damned mean.
There are few saints in troubled marriages.
The Blurred Lines video reduced Emily R to body parts. And she gave permission to the director and singers to facilitate that she be seen that way. She had agency in how she participated in her own objectification. If that opinion is offensive, so be it, but she participated not only in reducing herself to a silent object, but also in the glorification of the weird, mysogynistic lyrics. It’s hard for me to feel sorry for her, and judging from her interviews, I don’t think she expects me to, as she emphatically claims her own agency in the whole thing.
@Skip Bunny – Women objectify themselves all the time and then some complain about the results. If you pose naked for a magazine, you’re posing knowing full well, some guys are going to be oogling you. Women wear sexy clothes to impress men, not other women. If you dance around in a video wearing nothing but a thong and not saying a word, you have turned yourself into a sex object. Many women WANT to be perceived as sexy and there’s nothing wrong with that at all.
i buy the reports. kevin smith mentioned something about this maybe a year ago when affleck got cast as batman. everyone assumed smith would have the inside-scoop on the movie and when asked, he made a comment about gardner hating his guts and not being allowed to see ben anymore. so yeah, i totally buy this.
And in the house of Lopez the following was said to be heard, “Casper, you out!”
Maybe there is going to be an Ugly Shoe Tour?
Well, since the firm handling the remodeling issued the statement, I take that as true.
Giannetti Architects, an LA-based firm, are the ones who issued the statement probably at the Afflecks’ request since no one would believe them if they issued the statement.
And maybe this is all there is to it, or maybe the timing of the renovations is not a coincidence. If I wanted to establish cover for an actual move and had their resources, what I would do. Time will tell.
In every recent photo I have seen he looks absolutely miserable.
Ben is an alcoholic. He looks exactly like my ex. Miserable to be in the daylight when he’s in pictures with her because he’s not high or drunk.
When he was on Bill Maher he was so high on coke it was insane.
Mark my words its going to come out. Ben Affleck is a hardcore addict. Jennifer Garner ignores it to have the babies and the fame and to be his wife. I see her 100% because I was her to be in a relationship with the same kind of dude.
When he was on Bill Maher, is it when he defended the Muslims? For me, he was more angry than under coke
No he was irrationally angry and also he was cutting everybody off and butting in and talking a million miles an hour. That wasn’t just angry. He could have been angry and coherent. He was so out of it, it was unbelievable.
No, it was coke and maybe some steroids too. It was INSANE. And horrifying.
I don’t know any couple who are so good at fronting their disintegrating marriage that they can be disrespectful to each other and then turn around and con their kids into believing everything’s fine. I feel like they are separating. The constant spin is that Jen is a killjoy so that is coming from Ben’s camp. Typical spiteful, addict point of view. OTOH, anyone who is sober married to an active addict probably has codependency issues, and she probably thought her love could cure him. So she signed up for this.
He looks simply MISERABLE! While it is always important to “try for the kids” more often then not a separate “happy home” is better than a together “I hate my life home”.
Being in a relationship you don’t want to be in is torture.
If Ben wants to go, I hope he does. He can still be a great dad to his kids. The farmer’s market photo ops and gee gosh golly happy family stuff can go away. Everyone could be happier if they are as unhappy as the rumors go. Who knows. But Jennifer Garner will be fine. She is every inch as manipulative as he is. There is no reason I can see how many fug ensembles she owns but don’t know what Matt Damon and his wife wear to Whole Foods. She’s full of it and people fall for it, it is amazing.
Agree. These two are completely mismatched, have been since the beginning.
I find her casual style to be so hideous. Stop with the sandals, please.
The worst is that her outfits are expensive.Her top with stars from 2 weeks costs $350 or her Chloe’s beige shoes are at $400
Begging him repeatedly to not go on gambling stripper binges is henpecking?
Sheesh.
I can see her being controlling and trying to change him.
I’d try to change him too. His real self isn’t particularly attractive.
Maybe moving some furniture is Ben’s way of gradually easing out of this, perhaps while renovations are actually going on, but moreso to force Jen’s hand in filing?
With that said, if they’re really getting divorced, I expect them to announce after their ten-year anniversary – but just before the holiday on Friday, July 3rd.
Ben: Jen, I know I f*cked up with you again – BIG time. What do you want me to do to get you to allow me to stay?”
Jen: “We can redo part of the house into a separate living space and you can move in there. Personally, I would redo the garage and move your sorry *ss in there but it might arouse too much suspicion.”
Ben: “Agreed on one condition. We must both look glum and miserable on our weekly / daily pap strolls so we can keep our names front and center.”
Jen: “Done.”
He has looked miserable for many, many years. These type of photos are nothing new. I agree, he appears to be an addict and a miserable person. However, I don’t think she’s as saintly as she seems. She dumped her first husband for her more happening co-star, then she dumped him for Ben. She has an agenda as much as he does. I think she loves being Mrs. Affleck and viewed as the perfect homemaker. I think she would have disappeared from the radar if she wasn’t married to him.
When are we going to meet the woman (homewrecker?) that Ben is supposedly leaving his marriage for? Why are people not curious? I am. LOL! She is probably worth it for Ben to throw away his marriage and kids.
Wait the official break up and the end of Batman/Superman promotion
Exactly!
I hate this miserable face he makes when he’s with his wife. I honestly think he makes himself as put-upon and miserable-looking as possible for the paps so he can get a collective “poor Bens being smothered” from all of us. You’re an actor (I’m told) do what other couples do and at least put on a happy face for the kids while your trying to figure your own crap out
In defense of Debbie Reynolds: No, she did NOT “go around Beverly Hills with a diaper pinned to her lapel”! What actually happened is that when the story broke about Eddie Fisher leaving her for Elizabeth Taylor (and believe me, many people thought she had totally lost her mind to have hooked up with HIM) a bunch of reporters/photographers came to her house. She opened her front door and someone took a picture of her standing there. She had a diaper PIN pinned onto her blouse. And that was the picture of her the press then used, again and again and again.
Debbie actually handled the situation quite well under the circumstances. And Liz had been a friend of hers – or theirs, I guess. She took the high road and never really said anything bad about either of them. She didn’t have to, of course, because the press did it for her.