Jon Hamm and Jennifer Westfeldt announced their split earlier this week. Although, I’m pretty sure that they’ve been done or on the rocks for months now. The question is the same for all of the couples during the Summer of Splits: WHY? Some say it was Jon’s drinking and rehab stay. Some say it was infidelity. Some say he was looking for an “upgrade” after 18 years. And some say that Jennifer just got tired of waiting around for him to propose? Really? That’s what Radar says:
“The real reason that he and Jennifer split was because she wanted him to commit and he was just not ready,” a source close to the 44-year-old actor tells Radar. “Jennifer told Jon that she never imagined that after almost two decades together, he would still have not asked her to marry him.”
According to the insider, after Hamm was released from rehab at the end of March, “All he did was constantly pick fights with Jennifer. They would go to war over everything. Neither one of them could trust the other one towards the end. It just got to the point where they both realized that they were better off without each other.”
I’ve gotten yelled at for making assumptions about whether certain people want marriage or not, but after 18 years… I seriously doubt that it just got to a point where she suddenly wanted the ring. At some point, they would have had that conversation, right? Of course they would have. They would have had that conversation in the first year.
But… both Us Weekly and Star Magazine claim that it wasn’t so much the marriage thing as the overwhelming lack of commitment in their shared future, including whether or not to have kids. Star Mag says he didn’t want kids and she did. Us Weekly says the opposite:
Partners, but not parents. Jon Hamm and Jennifer Westfeldt announced that they were splitting after 18 years together on Sept. 7, and sources reveal exclusively to Us Weekly what exactly caused the breakup between the long-term couple. One insider tells Us that the pair “definitely tried” to work out their differences and keep their nearly two-decade-long romance going. However, the split was imminent, especially since the two didn’t see eye to eye about starting a family.
“There’s always been a rift,” another source close to the actress tells Us. “Because he wanted kids and she didn’t.”
This situation is a bit trickier than the marriage thing. I’ve honestly never gotten the impression that Hamm wanted to be a father or anything like that. In interviews, he’s discussed his own crappy childhood (he was very young when his mom passed away and his dad had a lot of health problems). I think this story is less about “Jon Hamm just wants to be a dad!” and more about “Jon Hamm wanted to walk out of this split smelling like a rose!” Because who is going to blame The Guy Who Wanted Kids, right? Anyway, I do think she wanted kids and Hamm was the one refusing. Which is going to make it especially rough if and when Hamm moves on with a younger woman and the new girl proceeds to get knocked up.
PS… There are more stories about this split coming out, I’ll probably have another story about WestHamm today, just FYI.
Photos courtesy of Fame/Flynet.
I’ll have his babies!
He may already have one in the oven somewhere?
Baby daddy?….. Just wondering?
My money is on a Rehab baby. The mama’s either another patient or support staff.
Couple together for 18 years, and after Rehab they break up. Happens all the time.
It’s a classic situation that happens when there’s a Co-dependent relationship going on. Don’t know if that’s them, but it’s very common.
The partner wants to “fix” the drinker. All the energy goes to that, no time for marriage or kids. Especially if the drinker is charismatic and handsome and increasingly rich and famous.
The drama is addictive to the partner, like alcohol is.
This dude already has 2 girlfriends.. if blind items are to be believed.
I think he told Jennifer he didn’t want kids for years, stringing her along. This is a song as old as time. His next girlfriend will be younger and not as careful about birth control, so I fully expect the Hamm to have kids within a few years by way of “oops! pregnancy”.
Meanwhile, if Jennifer really did want kids and gave up that dream because he wasn’t ready for them all those years (or worse, didn’t want kids with her but couldn’t be honest about it) she’ll be devastated.
^^^This, exactly. He “wasn’t ready” and she waited…until she could no longer deal with his various issues. I would bet he’s not a whole lotta fun behind closed doors.
He will find a younger woman & will be happy to have kids be the commitment that binds her to him, so she won’t leave…while he can continue to have his issues.
If he’s been cheating, the women must certainly be discreet. Not one tabloid photo of him cheating and not one woman has talked so far? Could he have had another long term side woman, while seeing JenniferW?
It’s amazing that he supposedly cheated and no one has talked yet? …but then I think of Tiger Woods, he cheated for years then all the girls, ladies, came spilling out of the woodwork!
Arnold, Bill Cosby, JFK….it’s easy for people with money/power to carry on multiple/ long term affairs under wraps. Happens every day, in every city.
It also depends on the kind of women you choose. When you’re not a good judge of character and get a fame-hungry nanny, things blow up. But plenty of cheaters can be discreet.
Yeah that’ll be a good “cover” for him when he starts dating a 22 year old model.
I would not be surprised if Jon has got some young woman pregnant already. This whole ” he wanted kids and she didn’t ” story is just a way to lessen the blow to his image when the news hits the fan.
+1 I’m betting there’s already a kid on the way.
Thay is what I said a few days ago. I am sure he”ll get some cute young thing pregnant soon if it hasn’t already happened.
MTE.
That makes sense and explains the whole wanting-kids reversal as pre-emptive for some random side-piece pregnancy.
Cynical me guesses that there is already a pregnant 22 year old waiting to be revealed as his “official”.
My first thought was “I wouldn’t be surprised if one of the side pieces wasn’t already knocked up.”
People magazine’s story about the break-up said his friends were “eager to introduce him to younger women”… What a shitty thing to say! Like Jennifer is some old hag or something. That really pissed me off!
I know. That is so awful and disrespectful. She was with him when he had nothing and was a struggling actor while she had the bigger name.
Now that he’s the bigger name, she’s forgettable as a “clingy older girlfriend” in the minds of many people. It’s messed up..
Right? He’s just so desperate for children and his old hag had crusty eggs and hated babies!
This almost gave me a rage stroke! What the hell? Younger women? He was very happy with her for a very long time. Ugh!
That’s exactly what I said. I don’t believe this at all.
When he starts appearing with a young girlfriend we’re supposed to believe it’s because she’ll give him the children he always wanted? Not buying it.
I’ve split with more than one guy because they wanted kids and I didn’t. Even though they said it didn’t matter, I knew at some point it would and it was better to let them go to find something that we both knew they’d regret at some point. It happens, not all women want kids. I’m over 40 now and still waiting for that point which so many people insist will happen, when I suddenly decide to get all maternal. If anything I’m more sure of not wanting it. The assumption that every break up involving a woman over 30 is down to her desperate need for a ring and babies is really really irritating.
Same here. My ex, (and his parents) once we got engaged decided he wanted me to have at least one kid to carry on his family name. We were together ten years and I was always open about my lack of desire to have children. Some people just don’t get it. It was one of the defining reasons we broke up and it still makes me sad/angry.
See, that’s just as unfair as someone who knows their partner wants kids and says they do too . . . until suddenly they don’t anymore. *cough*Aniston*cough*
You two are honest. Anyone who turns on you for that – especially like that, Bengal – is a first-class jerk. Not everyone wants kids. It’s not a crime and no one has a right to make anyone feel like it is, as long as they don’t go into relationships lying to their partners that they do (or don’t, as the case may be). Honesty, it all comes back to honesty.
I’ve got an uncle and a brother who were both in relationships with woman who were told that they didn’t want (in one case, more) children. Then one day, surprise, honey! But I’ve also have a godmother whose ex-boyfriend self-admittedly SABOTAGED HER BIRTH CONTROL PILLS then started stalking her after she had – direct quote – “the nerve” to terminate the pregnancy.
People never stop amazing me with their gall and lack of self-awareness.
@Byland, Thanks for your kind words! There were other issues in our relationship, but I think he was freaking bc we were both almost 40 and I think he realized it was something he wanted. I’m happy and secure in my choices, but I will never understand people.
@Bengal, you’re so very welcome! Like I said, honesty. You were honest and then he (and his parents, too? Because of course they get a say about everything involving your uterus. Geez!) decides that since he wants a kid now you have to suddenly want one as well? Pardon my French, but bull . . . you know the rest.
Major kudos to you for staying true to yourself. And I agree, I will never understand people, either – although my many years of therapy has me constantly trying to analyze people I know and meet I still end up mystified by their behavior. I find myself wanting to yell, “grow up, already!” at the top of my lungs on a regular basis.
@Byland, His parents were older and really wanted grandchildren. They were good people, but definitely of a “particular generation”… They lived several hours away, so it wasn’t too bad, thank God! I’ve been in therapy for years myself and honestly think that I’m the type of person who needs to live alone. I work with kids and love being around them, but, I’m cool with being the eccentric cat lady!
I admire you both for knowing who you are and sticking to it. So many people have children for the wrong reasons, and it’s not fair to the child or to the unwilling parent. I will never understand why people think that the biggest commitment you can make is no big deal and you should just do it despite your feelings to please someone else.
I have friends in their mid 40th , they are married and together about 10 years and she never wanted to have a child. He was fine with her choice of life, never stated otherwise.
Now, 4 months ago, he told her that he is the father of a 4 month old baby. The baby is the result of planned parenthood including infertility evaluation and female workup.
My friend was totally blindsided since he never told her that he wanted a child.
Wait how does that work? He impregnated someone else who had infertility issues and he didn’t tell his wife? I cannot imagine the betrayal she must feel!
Wow dagdag, that story just floored me.
That is appalling dagdag, is she leaving him?
Well, after she fell in a deep hole and rose up from there and recovered from the shock, she is just grossed out.
According to my friend, she could have dealt with the situation, in whatever way, had the child been the result of an affair.
He had male infertility evaluation and he actually told her that she will always come first!
They are separated and she has a lot of work ahead of her.
The baby is 4 months old and my friend was told about 6 weeks ago.
@dagdag-That is just…the arrogance of that man. I cannot imagine how betrayed she must feel.
I admire your confidence in your preference. I became pregnant accidentally (antibiotics) and had my child, whom I love and am completely devoted to, because I thought I would regret not having a baby “someday.” Maybe that would have been true, but I don’t think so.
Upvoting this thread for supporting women’s choice to not have children. My husband and I are childfree by choice and I appreciate anyone that thinks that individuals and couples are well within their rights to choose not to procreate.
I just hate that the press or public and even friends think women or men have to Explain why they don’t or may not want children.
It’s a personal choice.
So dumb really.. He not that long ago did an interview when promoting Minions or something that he DIDN’T want kids.. that if he ever wanted to hang with them he had family and friends that had kids. So where is this story coming from and which one of them benefits from it I don’t know. It is so strange and all of a sudden.
Exactly.
Meanwhile, the NY Daily New and ET say the exact opposite, that SHE wanted a family and HE was a no.
This is all just convenient for Jon when he marries and knocks up the next 26 year old who will no doubt “give him the family he always wanted”!
Bet on it.
Yep. I heard him interviewed on a podcast and he said he didn’t want kids because he didn’t think he’d be a good father. I doubt that has changed all of the sudden.
I feel like he has said this more than once, but the tabloids aren’t including those quotes because it doesn’t fit the “mean old witch didn’t want babies” narrative he’s trying to sell.
If she was the one who wanted kids she would have left many years ago. No point leaving just when that doors closed forever(unless she was lying about her age when she made Kissing Jessica Stein, she’s 4-5 years older than she claims now).
You’re saying she’s closer to 50? Wow.
……rumours have floated since Jon hit it big with Mad Men, Jennifer W. chopped off a few years?
I think they’ve had trouble for awhile. On the surface, they seemed lovely and well suited, but the rumors of his wandering eye and her subtle but apparent clinginess and insecurity spoke to some undercurrent of difficulty between them. I like her and I wish her well as she moves through this.
I don’t believe that he wants children, but the cynic in me thinks it’s the PERFECT excuse to endear him to a female audience and protect his image as he manages this separation. I hear there are blinds suggesting he got someone pregnant. . . it would also be a good way to get ahead of that story.
ugh.
+1
which blinds and where? I haven’t come across those…interesting.
Okay, I’m just going to go ahead and say it: I can’t be the only one who has never found this guy at all attractive, can I? He’s just always reaked of ‘douche’ to me.
He’s never done it for me either, ever.
Nope, you’re not the only one. He’s never done a thing for me either.
On Mad Men, sure he could throw me down on his mid century design couch and take advantage of me, but outside of that just no. Dude you are a grown up, wear some goddamn underwear.
I was always much more excited by the mid-century design than him or anyone else on that show, for that matter, other than the bearded graphic designer (can’t remember his name now…but he and Peggy finally let their love happen). I could just sit in Roger’s office all day sipping a martini with those glorious Saarinen tables and cool wall art… Sometimes great design is infinitely better than sex.
Past the first season of Mad Men — he got rough looking. Probably from all the drinking.
Sweet validation! Thank you. I couldn’t even enjoy his “so pretty, yet so dumb” story line on my beloved 30 Rock.
When those terrible frat hazing stories came out my older brother told me that he’d known him around that time, as they’d had mutual friends during the time my brother was bumming around Austin. He’d never mentioned knowing him before, I guess because no one in our family or immediate group are/were Mad Men fans, but he told me Jon was pretty much a self-important little worm. Sounds about right to me.
I think he is “technically” handsome, in that he has nice features, but have never been attractive to him because he seems so smug. Any flicker I may have felt was put out by the stories of his behavior in college.
I meant I’ve never been attracted to him, but I’ve probably never been attractive to him, either.
Then he’s in the minority, GNAT. 😉
Same 100%
Same. But I loved Mad Men.
to me he is like Taylor Swift. on paper they have everything to be sexy but it just does not translate well.
me too. he seems very nice and pleasant to work with or have frindship with but relationship ..no way.
I feel that way with Bradley cooper too for some reason.
Meh, I just don’t find that believable. He’s barely gotten clean and he wants babies? Just trying to stay on the wagon after all these years of being an alcoholic is about all he could focus on, let alone bringing a baby into the mix. I tend to believe it was her that would still want a child compared to him. This is the only article that has said it’s him who wants children. But the breakup is far more complex than just one thing anyway, I’m sure.
One of the key things they tell recovering addicts is to try and avoid making big, unalterable life changes during the first year of sobriety if at all possible. It’s astounding how many people deliberately ignore this (incredibly sound) advice.
This!
Sure, it has nothing to do with all the issues he’s been dealing with in his life, right? This kind of tabloid nonsense is annoying, trying to make it all about kids when both have been clear about not wanting them.
Exactly. There is a lot going on in a relationship after 18 years together. I somehow doubt children have anything at all to do with this split.
Yeah that’s what i’m thinking too. I hate myself for still liking him but he seems like the type who will always have some kind of ’emotional battle’ that will be too messy/party-pooperish for some women, so I hope he finds success in acting and a stable personal life.
She might have wanted to get married all along but enough to leave him and now she has had enough. He could not take the relationship seriously and she might have thought that eventually they would get married and things would change. So it is not about “getting the ring”. But if he did not take the relationship seriously she should really have left long ago. This could be about children as well. I guess if one of them has kinds within a couple of years we will know.
Jennifer is 45 years old. While it still may be possible for her, she probably doesn’t have a couple of years unless she adopts.
Donor egg is still a possibility for her as well.
I’ve said before on previous threads that women are often pressured to have a baby before 30, but my mom had me at 36 and I know plenty of women who have children in their 30s. I think a good majority of women in their 30s can still have biological children, but even I know that it becomes extremely difficult in a woman’s 40s. It is still possible with fertility treatment but it’s sad to see a woman hold baby making off until the last minute. Maybe she really did realize that it was now or never for her. If she does want children it is still possible for her to try with her own eggs. She has the money to spend on all the treatment she needs to get pregnant at this late stage.
Oh please. If he wanted kids with her, they would have had them before they were in their mid-forties or broken up years ago.
I have a feeling he is in the same dog crowd as Ben Affleck and certainly has a 20-something on his roster whom he will knock up. 100%!
It’s all nonsense but quite convenient for when he emerges with a thirty year old pregnant baby mama. And he will make the rounds about how she helped him see the error of his ways and how he is now clean and sober and will remain so forever because he finally has the family he always wanted.
I agree, except I think the girl will be much younger.
Honestly, I can see Hamm’s next girlfriend as someone in her early to mid-30s. Of course, that is still young, but it is very different from dating practically a child in her early 20s. Hamm doesn’t seem like the type of person who wants to deal with immaturity and another person’s mommy/daddy issues. Early to mid-30s is still young, much more mature, and still able to give him biological children if he wants.
Of course, if he isn’t looking for a relationship and just wants to sleep around and have fun, he will be joining Leo, Affleck, and other middle aged men boinking women in their 20s.
I always saw this ending for Westfelt and it is sad because if she ever did want children, she should have left him before she turned 40. Even if she wanted to ever get married without children, she should have left sooner. Men just have a longer shelf life when it comes to being able to have a family and get married. Women have a much tougher time as they approach 50. I hope she is able to find a more mature man with a healthier mindset.
Ugh. Yeah, I can see some variation of that. And Jennifer will get none of the credit, all of the implied shade.
im seeing that too.
Could it not be because his career is more successful than hers?
This is superficial, but I just want to know what she uses on her face. Her skin glows.
I’m guessing a really good professional makeup artist, botox, fillers, and frequent intense microdermabrasion facials – or whatever the current trendy non-invasive facial technique is these days.
I’ve always found it really sad that she started injecting all that crap into her face. She didn’t need it, but I’ve always gotten the feeling that she has poor self-confidence thanks to making taking care of Jon such a driving quest in her life. Her face started changing, becoming more inflexible, I suppose you could say, right around the time Mad Men took off and Jon began gaining more media coverage. Nicole Kidman Syndrome and I just don’t get it. Such beautiful girls – or women, rather – doing such horrible things to themselves for no reason at all.
Her face looks like it’s been put on too tight. I cannot bear to look at her smiling face. That glow is the botox shiny-glow.
And that Jon Hamm may just have some young baby mamma hiding in the bushes.
Oh, okay. That’s too bad.
Are his peeps trying to Jenn Anniston her? Circa PR rumours spread of Brad/Jenn kids/no kids disagreements?
I’ll just say it and take the fallout , I want him with January Jones now that he and Jennifer have split.
🙂
( hiding behind me couch) 😉
I don’t believe he wants kids.
Any man who wants to be a dad marries the woman he wants to be the mother of his children (if that’s what they want) and gets on with it. If he wanted children he’d have them. This is about something else entirely.
I’m not trying to start a fight or anything, but not everyone who wants children gets married.
I’m married with two children and two more on the way, but those are the life choices I’ve made. Marriage isn’t for everyone. I don’t really have any attachment towards the institution even though I always knew I wanted kids, but my husband and I married because A) it was somewhat important to him, relating to something involving his mother who died when he was young and talks they had while she was sick and B) he was in the Army and wanted to make sure that if anything happened to him I would have access to him/any benefits that might have been nessecary. Since he was injured, it was a good thing we did marry. And I’m happy to be married. Incredibly so, actually. I just don’t feel like our marriage certificate is the defining piece of our relationship. That’s us. We’re what defines our relationship, we’re the ones who make it work everyday, through all the stresses of life, big and small, not anything the government keeps in a database.
Exactly-which is what I meant when I said ‘if that’s what they want’. I don’t think everyone who wants children has to get married either.
I know he’s douchey but he’s just so hot. Especially as Don Draper who is also a huge douche.
Adorable how his publicis…errrmm SOURCES are talking, Hahahah JON HAMM REALLY WANTED BABIES LADIES, and His evil Botoxy GF Didnt, also I Have a Bridge Currently for sale, contact me for Details
GTFO
QQ takes the prize again for being spot on. Take a bow QQ!
After hearing about the horrors he committed during his frat days, I don’t think fatherhood is a good plan for him. Young new piece or not, I hope he never has kids, bio or adopted.
I don’t want kids and I am 34. I have been with my bf for over 8 years and am contemplating leaving him. I am scared to get out onto the dating scene because so many men seem to want kids these days or be divorced and have kids.
I hope this doesn’t sound harsh because it’s meant to be comforting, but most of the men in their thirties who still want kids aren’t looking to date a 34-year-old, they’re looking to date a 26-year-old.
…and this is coming from a 36-year-old woman who was single for quite a while–I consider myself a bit of an expert in these matters 😉
Anyway, you will find that there’s a decent amount of men from about 25-45 who are very much cool with a thirty-something woman who has no interest in having children, so please don’t be scared to take the plunge, particularly if you’re unhappy in your present relationship.
She used to be so cute. Those cheek implants are just awful.
IKR? And the nose?? The botox around the mouth is the worst. Her lips don’t even meet properly.
I hope I run into Jennifer on the street one day so I can give her a hug. I feel so, so sorry for her right now. I realize she’s a big girl and she chose to stay with him for so long, but if his people are in fact spinning this as “he wanted a baby” — that’s just BS. It must be hell to be in her shoes right now, amid all of this public speculation about her (very) personal life and choices.
I’d been a fan of hers from Kissing Jessica Stein before anyone knew who Hamm was. Personally I thought their relationship was odd since I would want the formal commitment of marriage, but I realize not everyone feels the same way, and they always seemed happy. It must have been incredibly difficult for her to watch his fame absolutely skyrocket to the point where women would probably throw themselves at him right in front of her.
From what I’ve read of his past, she was the ONE steady, stabilizing force in his life for almost two decades. Add in the drinking, and I can’t imagine what a hot mess he is going to turn into without her. If he has in fact already gotten someone else pregnant, that is so shitty it could absolutely decimate her.
As it is, I feel awful for her that this is tabloid-cover-worthy news because she’s always seemed to be a private person, although obviously she started showing up on red carpets more when MM took off and Jon was famous overnight. But she has never been a famewhore (IMO) and this is what she gets for sticking by him during some very trying times.
Don Draper is an iconic role that he was perfect for, but I think Jon Hamm the person probably would have been better off with a quieter life doing stage roles, or something. I used to absolutely adore him, but after the frat story broke, I can’t even look at him without feeling nauseous. It is a mess and I hope Jennifer has a strong support system of family and good, trustworthy friends she can talk to right now and is not reading any of this crap being published.
Definitely saw this one coming from a mile away.
It’s totally possible to not have ironed out the marriage and children question. If the power in the relationship is unbalanced, one partner can use non-speak, veiled threats and diversions to derail meaningful conversation that resolves those questions. Or they can have conversations which appear to resolve the questions but then deny, prevaricate and backtrack later, e.g., “I didn’t say that,” “that’s not what I meant,” “it’s not like that,” “why are you always trying to pick fights; can’t we just be happy?” … “I would if you didn’t nag me” et al… I have some experience, unfortunately.
I completely agree with this! I don’t assume that just because they were in an 18 year relationship that means they’ve already seriously discussed marriage and children. Maybe they did and one person was in complete denial. It happens all the time and several commenters have told their stories above.
I know a woman who was in a relationship with a man for over 5 years. She believed eventually he would ask her to marry so they could begin a family. What made it worse is that he said it wasn’t out of the question but he kept dragging his heels, so she kept waiting. He just didn’t want to let her go even though he knew deep down he would never give her what she wanted. Of course, men have all the time in the world but women don’t. She eventually had the good sense to break up with him, went onto marry someone else, and had her first child at age 34.
I believe a lot of people want to hold out hope but I always tell my female friends that you don’t have the time to wait if you want to eventually find the one who will actually WANT to marry and have children with you without years of hesitation.
Great advice Kibbles 🙂
If this is form Hamm’s PR for making him look better ahead of the stories that might be coming out about his boozing and whoring around, then he’s a plain a** HOLE.
Agreed. I sincerely hope he has the decency (and respect for her after 18 years) to not allow his PR people to give the impression that he wanted a baby and she wouldn’t give him one just to polish up his image, while keeping female fans and putting all of the blame on Jennifer.
I kind of feel it’s disgusting we’re soeculating about their having kids or not. Whose business is it but theirs? Coming from someone who’s been in a civil partnership for nearly 8 years…
I do not feel sorry for Westerfield if she waited 18 years for Hamm to settle down and give a ring and children. Never compromise your happiness for another because it will bite you in the ass. If she did want kids and he didn’t, then she is a fool for sticking around all these years.
She really should have dumped him years ago when she started with plastic surgery. She had so much going for her after her movie “Kissing Jessica Stein.” It just seems she turned from a professional into a pathetic girlfriend. Maybe I am wrong, but outwardly that’s what it looked like. I hope she turns this around and becomes more successful than Hamm.
We all know those stories like this. My mom’s friend lived with a man for 20 years. They always said that they didn’t want marriage. When he was in his 50’s he had an affair and left her and married a 29 year old from his work. All those years she wasted it on a loser. It’s a shame.
The same thing would have happened to that woman if they were married too. When has marriage stopped someone from having an affair or leaving their partner? People do it all the time so it would probably end the same way.