Here are some photos of Cate Blanchett at Monday night’s LA premiere/screening of Truth. Cate wore a Proenza Schouler Spring 2016 dress which… I do not like. I usually find Proenza Schouler stuff to be overworked and badly in need of some edits, and this is no different. It’s not that she looks bad – she does not. I just think she might need to stick to Armani, Gaultier and those kinds of designers.
Anyway, Cate is still talking. We’re in prime pre-Oscar campaign season right now, and Cate has two potential awards-bait roles in Truth and Carol. So Cate has been hitting the promotional trail, sitting down with Ellen, Jimmy Kimmel, Yahoo, People Magazine and more. Here are some assorted quotes I enjoyed:
She knew she wanted to marry her husband after three days: “No, actually after three days. We were in bed, as you are after three days, and he said, ‘Cate,’ and I thought, ‘S— he’s gonna ask me to marry him and I’m gonna have to say yes. And then he said, ‘No, I’m hungry, do you want to go get something to eat?'”
When did Andrew Upton propose? “Then he asked me after about 21 days and I said yes. I cooked him the worst meal. I somehow decided that to stuff a trout with walnuts and goat’s cheese would be a good idea. He ate it and then he asked me to marry him, so clearly he was, I don’t know, hallucinating. He realized I couldn’t cook. You give them food poisoning. They’re delirious, and then you’ve got them!”
Why going ‘makeup free’ is a big deal: “I think it’s because people constantly are taking pictures of ourselves to send them to people to see if they like me, “do they like me?” It’s pathetic, the whole thing about people worrying about what other people are going to think.
On selfie culture: “I just can’t handle it. Of course you want people to go see the films that you make, of course you want them to enjoy them. But I’m not out there saying, “Do they like the way I look? Do they like that look on the red carpet?” You have to say, “This is what I’m doing right now.”
On the red carpet, Ask Her More: “Look, I understand, people get really excited about it. The dresses are incredible. Unless you go to a Cotillion ball in the South, when do you get a chance to wear them except to these pageants? But when it takes over and then you’re asked to stand on this 360-degree camera, stick your toes into some device so they can beam your bunions around the world, it’s like, ‘No thank you.’ And when men talk about your clothes above your actual achievement, it’s a bit, you know…”
Whether her conversations with her daughter will be different: “I hope the conversations I have with her are no different than the conversations I have with my sons. There’s a whole lot of discussion in the media, which is interesting at the moment, about “they” rather than the “he” or the “she” and children who don’t identify with any particular gender. It’s not that I’m ideologically bringing our children up to have no gender, but I would speak to my children about sensitivity and looking after themselves and always encouraging of traditional female pursuits, as I would be the same with Edith. The same conversations you have about the world are not gender-based. Of course, the notion of the date rape drug, because that’s happened to a few people I know — it’s horrible. So perhaps those conversations. But at the same time, it’s all about self-respect, isn’t it? And the kernel of self-respect is respecting other people.
Regarding the stuff about her husband: of course he proposed so soon! He’s an utterly boring, stuffy Australian man and meeting Cate was the most interesting, amazing thing that ever happened to him. He had to lock it down! Still, it’s funny that she put out so quickly and literally three weeks later, he proposed to her. That’s charming.
As for the selfie stuff…I see her point, I agree with her point (to a certain degree) AND I think she’s an idiot if she truly believes that she can keep her kids off social media (which is what she says in the Yahoo interview). It’s a generational thing and she’s kidding herself if she believes that her kids are somehow going to avoid selfies, Facebook, Twitter & all of that.
Photos courtesy of WENN.
Well good luck with that Cate.
Other than that… Her story with her husband is kind of cute, but I mean, that’s way too early. I don’t know if I would say yes, no matter how infatuated or how great the sex would be.
Never say never.
Boyfriend started talking about marriage after 6 months…and I wanted to marry him after 2 weeks…just saying.
It’s 50/50 in every situation. Sometimes it’s a success and other times it’s a horrible flop. There’s no surefire way to know if it’s going to work out, that’s the whole beauty of love (and lust), the uncertainty.
Yup. I’m sure the probabilities are adjusted to the particular situation, but the reality is you never really know for sure.
I agree Mimz. Even if you think it’s right, what’s the rush? I know there are lots of exceptions or cases where it worked out great, and I knew I wanted to marry my husband pretty soon, and we got engaged after 11 months. But 21 days, I don’t know. How well can you know someone?
Yes GNAT, I mean…
You may know from day 1 even, that this is your person, but I think there is beauty to waiting for marriage (not talking about sex), getting to know each other a little better. I do think that the older we get, the less time we need to see if something will work out or not. But marriage is a serious commitment, these types of decisions should come with time.
The romantic in me thinks “aww this is so sweet” but I’m an overthinker of note and I wouldn’t take that step lightly. I’ve made mistakes being crazy in love, not feeling like jumping into another crazy ride in 21 days.
But it’s nice that it worked out for them. Besides, we must not forget that a couple of decades ago, marriage was still something to be in for the long haul, it’s not like now that we get married thinking about what we’ll do when we divorce.
Seems pretty judge-ster to me…
I think the question really is: Why are we questioning their decisions.
Why not? Why do it? Does it matter, do people need to have reasons to pacify society “norms”… why can’t people just do what they want to do, particularly when it’s something that makes you happy.
Who made the rule book of life?
Who IS the grand poohba of life?
That’s when he asked her. The bigger thing is when did she marry him. And I think I remember it was like a year later.
That’s better, but why commit to someone after 21 days? I’m not judging, though itsounds like it, I know. I just couldn’t throw caution to the wind that way. It obviously worked for them.
My parents were engaged two weeks after meeting on a blind date, and married exactly one month after their first date.
They’ve been married for almost fifty years so…….
@Kitten
Right, there are always exceptions. My question isn’t why marry this person. It’s why marry him so soon? What’s the rush? Your parents are very lucky. Of course, I dated my first husband for two years and we know how well that went. So maybe I should just stop asking questions. Lol
@Gnatty-I still tease my parents about it being a green card situation, like they had to get married or my mom would get shipped back to France. lol
On a serious note, I think that actually was one factor. But truly, my mom says that she just fell head over heels and that she had never met someone like my dad before. It’s also true that they were in their early twenties and didn’t have a lot of life experience and I think that was the driving factor: it takes a lot of naivety to do something like that, to almost blindly take that leap of faith.
For someone like myself who has more dating experience than I would care to admit, who has a tendency to overthink things, and who is terrified of conventionality, it’s hard for me to wrap my head around making such an impulsive decision about something as important as who you’re going to spend the rest of your life with.
So yeah, I’m with you 100%.
The rest of your life? God that sounds awful when you put it like that.
to me it would be a red flag (not talking about those two they are still together after all those years) but i wouldnt like that. it would make me feel like the guy says this to every woman he is with or moves way too fast and loses interest fast.
i could tell you i like someomeone and find them attractive pretty fast but i would need to move in with someone for a period of time to know if i wanted to be with them for a longer time.
its what kind of person you are yourself, some women would be swept off their feet by that, others would calm the guy down a bit and others would be put off.
Spent years dating people a year or two at a time; met a guy I’d been encouraged to meet by mutual friends for years and was married within six weeks.
That was more than 15 years ago. Not sure we’ll live to see 50 years like Kitten’s parents, but who knows.
My friend got engaged after 3 months, married after 8 months…9 years later I think they are headed for divorce.
To me, I would be scared off by someone wanting to marry me so quickly. I don’t even say I love you until 6-8 months in (if it makes it that far).
Both of us had long relationships prior and were actually not interested in getting involved with anyone, but we just instantly clicked. And I would not change a thing, really.
I don’t advocate anything; just sharing my experience. Personal observation wise, I have seen people date for years and divorce within a decade.
I think there’s no way in hell you could know if you wanted to spend the rest of your life with someone after 3 days and getting engaged after 21 days is insane.
The rest of your life is a pretty vague term really.
@Mimz – I’m from Australia, living in Canada now, and there is a HUGE divide in what my friends think is the “right time” to get married.
I married my husband at 27, after dating seven years. I was the last of my Aussie friends (they were all married by 21 to people they hadn’t dated long) and the first of my Canadian friends (many were in relationships just as long, but were waiting until after other milestones like buying a home). Some Canadian friends actually asked us what the “rush” was… after seven years!
It doesn’t matter how soon you marry, so long as both people are equally willing to make it work and grow together. In the scope of 50 years, you’re both bound to change and a few years give or take doesn’t mean much.
Funny you say this because I have a coworker from Ireland who feels that people get married so young in both US and Canada (she thinks 27-30 is fairly young for Canada and 21-25 young for US).
I mean the Aussie thing is purely anecdotal and I think depends on where you live etc. I got married at 33 and am one of the few in my group who is married. Nobody questions any of the others, in fact the overriding attitude is it’s not something to rush!
@Ange Exactly! Wasn’t generalizing about Aussies vs Canadians, just pointing out that “way too early” is going to vary a lot from group to group, and a few years won’t make much of a difference in the big picture (you’re just choosing to figure out more/less of your issues after marriage, but there will always be issues).
Incidentally, average age of marriage in Australia is younger at 29.6 vs 31.1 in Canada and 34.7 in Ireland. Australians also have a higher crude marriage rate of 5.1 per 1000 vs 4.4 in Canada. I’d say both our experiences reflect a more relaxed attitude about commitment in Australia – people aren’t bothered if you wait, but they’re also more willing to give marriage a go.
He’s not a boring stuffy Australian man! He’s an awesome playwright. He had more of a profile in the arts scene than she did when he met her, and is still highly respected nowadays. More Respect For Andrew Upton!
Thank you
A friend worked with Andrew a few years ago and said he was actually great to work with, funny and intelligent. Sure he’s no beauty but not everyone has to be.
I agree. She wouldn’t marry a boring man. She would marry someone she found fascinating, actually.
I’m sure he’s a respected and talented theatre man. I don’t know anything about him, but oh-boy, that guy is ugly. Talent is a strong pull for extraordinaire talented and beautiful women in the business. The smarter and more talented these women are, the more they stay away from “pretty” and handsome men. On the other hand handsome men in the business are ofter unreliable and too vain to be attractive for someone like Cate. But this guy has hit the jackpot, and Cate has made a choice preferring brains to looks. I wonder how he manages his ego and lesser position in the couple’s dynamics. particularly regarding the money…it’s always an issue, even with clever man like he seems to be, because I think the male ego sooner or later and somehow comes out. When is the woman the more successful one, if the guy is not well grounded enough, they always end up breaking up. It’s as old as sin, sadly. So kudos to them
“Talent is a strong pull for extraordinaire talented and beautiful women in the business. The smarter and more talented these women are, the more they stay away from “pretty” and handsome men.”
is this just anecdotal or is there evidence for that? the older generation obviously grew up differently, so for example Meryl Streeps husband also is no looker but in younger generations you wont see smart and talented women looking for “just talent” thats something men like to tell themselves, its this patriarchal pipe dream that women are not visual and dont like pretty and tall men.
men were also portrayed way differently, you didnt have the hunky topless guys in movies, the sexualized boybands etc, so younger women grew up way differently, expecting different stuff from men.
@Saphana
Not everyone is completely superficial. Some women actually prefer brains and a sense of humor over looks because a man without intelligence would bore them to death. Some people find it sexy. And that’s not just a male fantasy.
I have to admit I’m somewhat surprised she’s not that shallow, but I see a lot of pretty women in real life with men that are less physically attractive than them so I think Cate Blanchett might simply be doing what women in the real world do.
Cate Blanchett also probably maintains her looks for her job. Who knows if she’d maintain as well, or be interested in doing so, if she were a non-famous person who wasn’t photographed all the time. Sure, I’d like to look pretty all the time in an abstract sense, but the discipline to be so isn’t necessarily there for me when I know I’m not going out and no one is going to see me.
there is a difference between respecting someone for their craft and thinking “Cate should upgrade”. i dont think anyone really wants to say he is bad at his job, people are just puzzled about Cate aiming so low.
Aiming so low? I would would argue that he is just as talented and successful as she is in his own field. They worked side by side as directors of the Sydney Theatre Company – there is something to be said for marrying someone who can challenge you in the best possible way. Plenty of us would prefer that to someone who only stimulates us downtown.
I love funny looking men and I’m an attractive woman. Odd looking with a great mind/soul is my jam
Yay! Someone who knows what they are talking about!
🙂
ITA. He’s an excellent writer and director and he runs the Sydney Theatre Company. They always get big names for their plays because people want to work with Andrew as well as Cate. He’s hardly “a boring stuffy Australian man”.
Thank you! Andrew Upton is a brilliant man and the generalisation of him as a ‘stuffy and boring Australian man’ is gross. You can say a lot of generalised things about Aussie men (loud, drunk, foul mouthed, sexist) but hardly stuffy or boring. In many theatre circles he is way more respected than her, he just works behind the scene and not in front of it, like her. *rant over*
Yeah, I was baffled by the “stuffy and boring Australian man” bit too. Since when are Aussie men “boring and stuffy”? Let alone Andrew Upton who is not only accomplished in his own right, but a funny and nice bloke too. He calls himself “the hand” because he is so used to being cropped out of pictures with Cate.
I loved Cate but she just confessed that she gave her son the name Roman after Roman Polanski.
Cannot believe she will name her son after a man who is wanted for rape.
I already side eyed her for acting in Woody Allen movie and now this – well she is off my list completely even if she acts again with my fav actor Brad Pitt.
She really said that she named her son because of Polanski ??
Yes she was on Kimmel and confessed the name was inspired by Polanski and then added that it means book in French.
Just to be annoyingly picky, it means “novel,” not book, which is “livre” in French. 🙂
Meh, she has three odd names for her children and was just kind of laughing throwing all the names out there and naming them and maybe reasons why. She said it but it didn’t seem that bad at the time in the interview the way she was giving her stories on the children.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QIpBB7-Mnhg
@Jayna
Nothing is better than a joke saying that your son’s name is inspired by a rapist and pedophile,isn’t it ?
I love trash or black humor but here it is not funny
Cate never said she named her kid after Polanski. She just said Roman “like” Roman Polanski. As in making a reference. That’s it.
@Granger – “Novel”, yes, you are correct. 🙂
Lol at the false outrage. She did not say that. She was giving examples of the name. Which is not the same, but anyway people will be saying that now.
And she worked with Woody Allen. She doesn’t care what a man does as long as he furthers her career or put out work she admires.
I think you are right
GNAT, Woody Allen and Roman Polanski are not viewed as rapists/child molesters everywhere. For example, here in France, they are revered cinematic artists with much acclaim bestowed upon them. Polanski is married to a French actress, so he’s even more mainstreamed. Here, it is very rude to intrude on someone’s personal life, no matter what the crime. It is pretty mind boggling.
I have no opinion on Cate as a person or an actress (only really saw her in “Elizabeth”) but I can see how openly working with Allen can cause egg throwing her way. I still cannot believe how Diane Keaton stood up for him.
@Joaneu-I do think that’s a difference between American and French sensibilities. I’m not sure one can talk about the French as if they are a monolith, but generally speaking I think you’re right. You see that a lot even in the political sphere–the French seem to be far less concerned with the private affairs of their high-profile compatriots.
@Joaneu
Yes, it is mind boggling that people will ignore a person drugging and raping a 14 year old girl to avoid being rude. But their crimes are ignored by most Americans, too, because they are famous and arguably talented. They still thrive. I don’t understand it, or women who stand up for them, either. I never will.
Didn’t she say in the past they couldn’t stand each other? That it wasn’t love at first sight?
I’m quite young and I hate selfies etc…I have FB and like most of my friends, don’t post on it. I do like to go to Pinterest and Tumblr for fashion stuff and other shallow pretty content, I just lurk but I don’t actively participate.
The only reason to get immersed into that world would be for my career so I see it happening in a few years or so but as long as that pressure isn’t immediate, I’m fine with my distance with social media.
I think a lot of ‘selfie’ kids are just boring narcissists who lack attention. There are plenty of smart interesting kids who use social media to create something (art, news, change) but it’s always the negative that gets media attention.
Didn’t she say in the past they couldn’t stand each other? That it wasn’t love at first sight?
Yes I remember she said so…. She can’t keep her story straight
if i remember correctly her first story was it was very fast then she said they did not like each other and now she is telling the first story again i guess.
She said when they first met they couldn’t stand each other. He thought she was aloof. She thought he was arrogant. They were in the same social group and were around each other at times. The story she told was that one night they were all playing poker and they were both there. He was in the middle of telling her he liked one of her friends and they suddenly kissed. That was it. It was immediate. And 30 days later he asked her to marry him.
If I remember correctly she always told the story like that. That they met but couldn’t stand each other, but shortly afterwards they were stuck together at a party and that it hit them then. That they hooked up and wanted to marry nearly straight away. Like first impression vs. first actual interaction.
I abhor selfies in the bathroom thing people do. It’s like nails on a chalkboard to me when I keep seeing these people with their iPhone snapping some photo of them in the bathroom mirror. It’s so cringeworthy now to me and the epitome of narcissism.
Could not agree more. What about the steering wheel selfie? Like “oh this rearview mirror makes me look so hot”..
I want someone to take a selfie in fluorescent lighting and post THAT shit. Enough with the flattering bathroom and car lighting.
Ya!!! Preferably in a department store change room when they’re trying on a bathing suit and all you see is cellulite!!
No the worst is when you know someone spent literally 15 minutes trying different poses, sticking out the gals, holding in their breath, and took like a million pictures to perfect how they look. But they didn’t take the 5 minutes to make their bed or at least clean the room a bit. That’s what grinds my gears.
Ha, whenever I see girls taking bathroom selfies I pop in right behind them and say “hey, do you mind if I get in on this?”.
Yep, I’m a dork, but hopefully if they think I’m dumb for wanting to get in their selfie they realize how dumb they are for taking it in the first place.
IMO, it’s much more cringeworthy and annoying to be around people who can’t stop taking photos and video of every social event they attend… Clearly with no possible way to ask for permission or inform from those of us who don’t use Facebook or Instagram that they’re plastering photos of us all over the internet. I’d rather they stick with taking photos of themselves, thank you very much.
I didn’t understand her answer to the makeup free question. Agree with her about selfies, though I dislike her. She wears the ugliest clothes all the time, so hideous dress is no surprise.
I met my hubby on a two week holiday. We lived an ocean apart. On my first visit to see him he (in a very British non-commital but sincere way) said he’d marry me (we kind of had to get married to overcome the visa issue eventually, just under a year later). 15 years later we are still together. It happens. Sometimes you do just know – yes mistakes can be made this way, but sometimes it works out fine!
” He’s an utterly boring, stuffy Australian man and meeting Cate was the most interesting, amazing thing that ever happened to him”
spot on! nobody wonders why he is with her but everyone why she is with him. i would guess its a generational thing when Cate was younger it was still only “you should love a man for his character and what he is doing and not how he is looking”. which lead to lots of unsatisfied women and dead bedrooms. I’m sure a Cate born later would not be with a man looking like that and frankly i am happy that we dont see gorgeous talented smart women with ugly dudes anymore, the younger starlets (and women in general) are way more open about their visual attractions and dont date ugly dudes, i mean look at Jennifer Lawrence, she is playing the mens game with her super handsome bodyguards. it was about time women took what they desired and not be confined to boring ugly men because they had a good job.
… Dude, he’s an exceptionally intelligent, cultured and lovely man who’s one of the kings of the Australian theatre scene. Ugly he may be, but boring he is not.
What a person looks like has nothing to do with how good they are in bed. Seriously, NOTHING. Money doesn’t matter there either, but swapping one shallow non-issue for another isn’t progress. Sense of humor and sensitivity are the best tells for how good a man will be in bed.
My husband’s no movie star, and he’s phenomenal in this area. (Which is one reason I married him; I have a feeling Cate and I have something in common here.) I’ve been with drop-dead gorgeous guys before, and while none of them were bad, none of them can hold a candle to him either. If you prioritize looks this much, it’s highly likely that you’re missing out.
++++++++++1. , emily
Yes usually hot guys suck in bed. Most of them act like you’re lucky to be with them And expect you to do whatever they want and you get nothing. Regular guys are much more appreciative imo
Spot on Emily – I’ve been with gorgeous guys in the past who have been complete deadbeats in bed. My boyfriend is no major looker but he’s great at keeping Jaded purring plus he’s smart, affectionate and funny.
i wasnt just talking about skills, i was mainly talking about losing attraction. as if “a sense of humour” turns anyone on as much as a hot guy topless. come on. i see it so often with couples that women love that man as a person but then it comes to being brother and sister because she is just not attracted to his body. i mean why do so many posters here comment on the “hot guys, would you hit it” posts? because hot guys are so boring and bad in bed? is this how you imagine the sex with them when you see their pictures? lol! we are all visual creatures and thats fine, no shame about that. Im just sick its always kept away from women to just enjoy the physical beauty of a man and place it as a very important when it comes to dating and marrying. And women are shamed into giving socially acceptable answers, too. lesbian couples are the least superficial and have the least amount of sex, so there certinaly is a connection.
and again: its also a generational thing, most middle aged women were raised differently and did not have as many men sexualized in the media, not as many partners etc. younger women have way different standards and have caught up with men in terms of being vocal about wanting physcially attractive people and enjoying casual sex.
thats really like saying “beautiful women are always dumb” which i am sure most here would find offensive, yet no problem stereotyping good looking men. there are so many intelligent, kind and funny hot guys. as if beauty rules out other things. ridiculous.
i mean would any of you say Angelina Jolie, Rihanna and Jessica Chastain suck in bed because they are beautiful? if no you need to reevaluate your thoughts about hot men.
Or maybe, just maybe, who’s hot to you, may not be hot to someone else? Outlandish idea, I know. She had sex with him so soon – do you think she’d do it if she thought he was looking like an ogre? She said before that she couldn’t stand him at first, when they only talked, but then they somehow ended up kissing and then in bed, and it was basically implied that the sex was so good she wanted to marry him on the spot. Putting the intelligence and sense of humor aside, she was clearly attracted to him and there had to be some strong chemistry. You describe her like she was some poor, powerless creature who’s forced to fulfill her marital duties by her tyrant husband, but she is a free, successful woman who kissed plenty of hot guys on movie sets and somehow she’s still with Andrew Upton instead of running away with some “hottie”, even though she could.
I agree that people are visual creatures for the most part, but your argument is flawed because the definition of hotness is relative. I’m only 26 and I was raised with posters of conventionally hot, topless guys on my bedroom walls (put there by my older sister) and believe me or not, but most of the guys from the “Would you hit it” posts do absolutely nothing for me. I can see why Chris Hemsworth, Jason Momoa, David Gandy and the likes are considered attractive, but they do absolutely nothing for me, sexually. But give me a post about Domhnall Gleeson – the skinny, ginger dude and I’m all hot. I honestly am more attracted to him that to Jason Momoa. There’s also John Oliver whom I didn’t find attractive at first but then I watched his show, and the cliche “sense of humor/intelligence” combo made me attracted to him. And he is honestly much higher on my list than any six packed/pretty-faced guy.
She talks about him with a lot of affection, so, yeah, I figure she has a lot of attraction to him. I don’t find him physically attractive personally, but they do seem to have a marriage partnership that one could envy — i.e strong mutual interests, loyalty, no boredom with each other, and a never-dying attraction. I don’t get how anyone would think she was being forced to do anything she doesn’t want to. If these two ever get divorced I’ll be just as shocked as much or more if two physically equally attractive people were to split up. She really seems to adore him.
Isn’t she only in her early 40s? She grew up in the era of Tom Cruise, who was considered “hot” before we all knew he was loony-tunes. Moreover, Australian Hugh Jackman is a contemporary of hers, so I don’t think the idea of a physically attractive man is foreign to her. The kind of guy who looks like Upton may simply be what she’s really attracted to and considers “hot.”
Wasn’t she 28 when they married? Maybe he was better-looking in his youth (like most men are) and he didn’t go out of his way to “maintain” as he got older. She probably maintains her looks for her job.
Angelina Jolie married Billie Bob Thornton and I thought he was hideous, but maybe he had some major charisma that hooked women. I figure it’s the same with this Upton guy.
Good lord. “Visual attractions”? “Most middle aged women were raised differently”? A “generational thing”?
Let me guess: you are very, very young?
Firstly, the “visual attraction” thing has been shown to be far less important for many women than for many men. It certainly is for me. I’m not at all interested in beefcake types or pretty boys and physical attractiveness is way down on my list, after kindness, humour, intelligence etc.
As an Aussie who has watched Andrew Upton in the public arena for many years, I can totally get why Cate is attracted to him. He seems like a funny, kind, intelligent man who knows who he is.
I tried to find something with him speaking. I think they are both so involved in the theatre is Australia and very passionate about it and their little production company. He directed her in a short film he wrote. And she is in sync with her husband and their backgrounds.
I remember once seeing an interview where they were very determined to bring strong roles to the theatre for women. People forget they have worked together for years as co-directors of the Sydney Theatre Company. I think she really admires and loves her husband, and I doubt he is some shrinking violet. Artistic men are usually very interesting to women. He’s a playwright. In Australia they do lots of interviews together about their theatre and you can see the connection between them. They are a team. They are coming to the States now, though, living for a while.
Here’s Andrew at his theatre.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zrdW6HFWNHM
Heh. My husband asked me to marry him weekly after the third week. It should have given me red flags, but since I met him dressed in a blanket and heels after knocking on his door for some ice, I didn’t exactly have the highest action standards. Anyway, seven years and two kids later, can’t wait to tell my daughters that story. The thing is, whether it’s 21 days or a five year engagement, a successful relationship works because both partners work.
For a relationship to work, a couple need to be honest with each other about who they actually are, and what their important values and goals in life. For most people that takes at least a year. I don’t think you really know if you want to marry someone unless you’ve had several serious discussion about what your futures are together which would include topics like, kids, religon, infidelity, money …especially money.
That’s just theory really.
Couples work because the people in them are emotionally and sexually compatible. You can weather and iron all asperities with that.
Maybe, but from what I’ve seem in my peers I believe it. I’ve seen several cohabitating relationships end messily because they disagreed on children and marriage. I know of one divorce so far, he turned out to be a secret drug addict, everyone thought she rushed into the marriage. It’s my opinion that these relationships would have ended less messily if there had been a serious discussion of values and future, and time to see their real selves, before cohabitation or marriage.
Thank you for reminding me of ‘asperities.’ You have made my word nerd day.
yeah i should’ve mentioned that if some basic values are not aligned it’s a given that a relationship is not going to work. for the rest though, everything goes. I don’t necessarily think that a solemn summit at the beginning is the silver bullet. People change. Sometimes you figure what you want after some time spent with your partner. Maybe the partner inspires things in you that you were not aware you wanted, and the same thing goes for cohabitation.
So maybe I’m a total agnostic when it comes to what makes a relationship successful, and I tend to think it’s all a big gamble. I’ve been pretty lucky so far, married for a decade. I really like Cate’s story.
Belle, yw, maybe we should have a daily nerdy wordy date?
@s: You’ve no idea. I’m trying to decide what outednerdfit to wear right now.
Funny thing: I was just pondering last night whether or not to name a semi-mythological creature ‘Asper.’ So yay, synchronicity… Uncle Carl obviously approves of our best unmade plans.
I named one of my dogs after a WWII general. So…
If I show up in a Star Trek costume, would that be the end of a beautiful friendship?
@s: You may not even want to know what or whom I named my pets after. (But here goes: suffice to say that includes a c.480 Roman statesman/philosopher, a Salinger hero, a Red Irish rascal and a Weimar Republic pianotop chanteuse.)
So: Star Trek costume + pet names = not a deal or date breaker. You can’t scare me away from or with uber nerdiosity.
“she put out”? Incredibly gross, sexist phrasing there.
Agreed. I expect more from this site.
And “so soon”?!! So prudish! People have sex. Get over it
“When men talk about your dress instead of your achievements”
Men do neither, stop pinning your fellow women’s interest/obsession of fashion onto men.
I’ve never been legit proposed to… always int he throws of passion or some new romance, so clearly the answer is… uhhhh wait until later. I think I’d be terrified if someone asked me after 21 days. I don’t think you truly get to know someone until about a year in. But, I don’t know, if let’s say… Liev Schreiber asked after 21 days I would lock it up and say, “I already have the venue.”
I like her belt.
I don’t care what anyone says. I NEED to know who’s dress you’re wearing on the red carpet. It’s the only part of the show I watch.
Her story (and her life) is so special because she’s so special.
Um, excuse me but Andrew is far from boring – do you know him personally to make that judgment? Because I do, and I can assure you he’s anything BUT.
Cate is amazing – as is Andrew and her wonderful family – I love reading what she has to say.
My husband proposed after 3 weeks too. I said yes, married him after knowing him for 10 months.
Neither of us are impulsive people. It was more, “there you are, let’s get on with the rest of our lives”. We didn’t even get engaged.
Still very happy, married over 20 years.
It takes 2 weeks for the STD results to come back. Falling love is no excuse to be reckless. I guess I just love myself more than lust.