Late last month, Hayden Panettiere admitted that she had suffered postpartum depression after the birth of her first child, Kaya, in December. She was somewhat vague about it without revealing the extent of her depression. Hayden said, in regard to her Nashville character, Juliette Barnes, who is not caring for her baby and is suffering from PPD, that “I can very much relate. It’s something a lot of women experience… But you don’t realize how broad of a spectrum you can really experience that… It’s something that needs to be talked about. Women need to know that they’re not alone, and that it does heal.” Hayden added that she’d never had the urge to harm her child, and characterized postpartum depression as “completely uncontrollable… really painful [and] really scary”
It sounded like Hayden was out of the difficult stage of her depression, and like she was seeing the other side now. She also seemed bright and healthy doing promotion for the new season of Nashville. Unfortunately Hayden is still suffering as she recently checked into a treatment facility for postpartum depression. Here’s the statement her PR person issued to US Magazine yesterday:
“Hayden Panettiere is voluntarily seeking professional help at a treatment center as she is currently battling postpartum depression. She asks that the media respect her privacy during this time.”
I hope she’s ok and that she gets the help she needs to recover and feel like herself again. It’s bizarre to me, as a Nashville viewer, that Hayden is going through such a similar issue as her character. (Juliette is currently ignoring her baby and partying heavily, but her main problem seems to be PPD.)
Hayden tweeted a couple of times last week. She seemed to indicate that she’s lost the weight she gained from having her baby, and mentioned that she felt like she was coming back to her body. She also tweeted about a dream she had where she was friends with Amy Schumer.
Feeling like I'm #finally coming back in to my own body!mother #daughter #blessing #wellworthit @bonesthenskin pic.twitter.com/ZwUDyo4MhF
— hayden panettiere (@haydenpanettier) October 10, 2015
Just woke up and remembered my dream about being best friends with @amyschumer #greatdream #goodmorning pic.twitter.com/QrnyhoUZSJ
— hayden panettiere (@haydenpanettier) October 10, 2015
I hope Hayden is able to get the help that she needs to recover. Also, as selfish as this sounds, I hope that Nashville is already filmed for this season and/or that this doesn’t affect production because I really like her character and want to see what’s going on with Juliette.
May she be well.
I am so happy that she has found the strength to seek help. Very brave. PPD/PPA is so hard. And it’s hard to figure out if that’s the culprit in the way you feel. Hormones are going crazy after birth. You bleed for weeks. You get such little sleep. And having a baby is hard and overwhelming at times. It’s hard to decide what’s the normal ok response to complete emotional and physical upheaval and what’s actually PPD. I hope she feels uplifted soon. Oh and Tom Cruise? f&ck you you P@S.
This. I’ve always liked Hayden, and I hope she finds her way back to the light. I get the feeling that Vlad really really loves her, so hopefully she’s getting the support she needs from him. This makes me really sad for her, but she seems like a tough one. I bet she’ll fight through this with flying colors.
Yes, I wish her the very best. There’s so much hype and bs about the first few months of motherhood that I think it’s very difficult for someone to admit they are struggling and not “over the moon.” She’s very brave.
Yes best wishes to her. It’s sad she’s suffering but really cool that she is honest about what she’s suffering from. I hope this will open the door for other women to identify their own need to deal with ppd and not hide.
Yes to all. I hope she can recover swiftly.
Good for her in seeking help with PPD/PND. So many women suffer in silence with it and feel it’s their fault.
Wishing her all the best with her recovery
Wholeheartedly agree. Best wishes to Hayden and her family during this difficult time.
I remember reading an interview with her shortly after Kaya was born and thinking she sounded depressed… Here’s the quote:
“I feel like an 80-year-old woman trying to go down the stairs, you know, please tell me this is temporary. But I know some things will never be the same again.
“I’m limping around. I’m still trying to figure out what [pregnancy] has done to my body, how it’s changed it. What’s temporary and what’s permanent.”
She sounded a bit lost and very much real. I think pregnancy really took a physical toll on her, she has such a small frame and I really think she dealt with a lot of unpleasant and scary stuff right after giving birth. She’s really brave to speak of this and seek treatment. Get well, Hayden!
Wow that is heartbreaking.
A friend of mine had a similar experience on her second. She’d had an emergency section with her first and personally I felt at the time, the doctors should have advised her the same on the second, instead they left it up to her and because she had that guilt of not being able to do it naturally, she went for it. It did SO much damage to her, more than a section would have. A year later and she still hasn’t mentally or physically recovered even after going to a counselor. She’s also developed an immune infection as a result which will be with her for some time.
I guess I don’t see the relevance. I had a “scheduled emergency” section with my first, VBAC with my second and the recovery was so much easier. I can now see I also had pretty bad PPD with my first, which manifested as extreme anxiety, and nothing with my second.
It gets better, Hayden, it does! Good on you for recognizing the problem and getting the treatment you need!
The relevance was what Hayden said in Sway’s quote, sounded exactly like what my friend was saying when she couldn’t get up and down stairs and had to bring a giant ring with her when she went out as she couldn’t sit down and over a year later she still feels the effects.
I wasn’t speaking generally, but her specific example and what happened after. She was opposite to you and had the opposite results. Everyone is different.
VBAC isnt a walk in the park for everyone. In fact many doctors wont perform them b/c of the increased risks. I get it Lindy.
just out of curiosity, can you tell me what damage it did to her? I’ve generally heard that having a natural birth is easier to heal from if you’re prepared and you take good care of yourself. But of course, I agree that everyone is different. my sister had her baby naturally on accident, and the aftermath of that really upset her and made her frightened. but I had my second naturally and found that I healed faster than my hospital birth, though the baby was three pounds heavier than my first! My joints were terribly sore, but I tore less from being in a better position to give birth in. however, the key difference between myself and my sister is that the whole thing wasn’t sprung on me and it wasn’t a snap decision made with people wagging their fingers at me. it wasn’t an “accident”, so I think that helped me see it positively and thus, heal faster. I just want to know how your friend coped with everything because birth and women’s rights are two important and interesting topics to me, if you don’t mind.
No not at all. In her case, and again this is hers and hers alone so it’s different for everyone, she was left with a very large number of internal and external stitches beyond the usual, then developed a pretty nasty infection which went on for several months (given the area and all the healing that was needed anyway it just made everything worse). The infection then triggered an auto immune disease that she’s still managing now and will be for years. She did always say after having had the decision made for her on her first, as opposed to having a scheduled section she felt she had missed out on something, so when she was given the option she went for it and it was something she wanted to do.
Again, can’t stress this enough, this was her experience and I’m not claiming it’s the norm, far from it, but after her second she experienced what Hayden described, she felt total lack of control over her body and utter frustration ion not being able to do the things she felt she should, she felt like her body had failed her and she in essence had failed, it was heartbreaking and all we could do was be there for her and listen and reassure. She also did say she found bonding with her son harder at times than with her first. Thankfully, she had husband, her friends, and a counselor to lean on and get her through it. She went and got help, which is what women should be encouraged to do.
@careygloss-
It can be relatively easy, but also traumatic- a friend of mine both fractured her tailbone and a third degree perineal tear- her baby is 15 months now and she still has some discomfort.
@elleno – statistically, VBACs are safer, much safer, provided certain criteria are met (bikini incision, double suturing is preferred, a few more things like that). Ruptures are very rare, and when they happen, they are very rarely serious – this is from my OB. Repeat c-sections, on he other hand, cause double the rate of maternal death, still a tiny number, but I did not like those numbers. The reason some doctors do not do them is because of fear of lawsuits.
I had a C-section for my first then 10 years later tried to do a vbac for my 2nd..
wow that was a mistake.
I had felt guilty over the emergancy c section i had with my first, and wanted to do it the regular way for the second really bad.
I got to the point the baby was crowning, and then my uterous ruptured.
they drug my bed into the ER, tried everything to get the baby out.
I had 3 hands up my vagina at once at one point and one in my butt trying to stretch things out. They tried the forceps the vacuum. Nope
So finally they had to push the baby all the way back up the birth canal, while the Dr made a vertical incision from my pubic bone to my belly button. then they pulled the baby out that way.
During this time about 25 minutes, the baby didnt have a heartbeat.
When they cut into me pushed him up and pulled him out, I had NO anesthesia or pain killers at that point. So i felt everything.
They got the baby out, I remember asking if the baby was dead.
and being surprised when they brought him over alive for me to see. he ended up having a 9 out of 10 on the apgar, go figure.
Then the fun part for me, I was torn up my vaginal canal in 4 places, I was torn so bad inside it took 5 surgeons 8 hours to stitch me back together.
I coded 3 times, and got shocked back to life each time. I completely bleed out twice.
I had I.V’s in my wrists, elbows, femoral veins, my feet, each with a bag of blood going full bore.
Oh and I was awake the entire time, do you know how long eight hours is when your being operated on and trying not to die? I kept asking the surgeons are you almost done? like a kid, are we there yet? and I remember watching the clock and it going soooo slow.
The Dr told me he was sorry he was going to have to do a hysterectomy while he was standing between my legs as he was removing it, I was oh ok..
I ended up having tens of thousands of stitches inside my abdomen and vaginal canal.
I remember the dr telling me a few days later (I was still in the ICU) that it wasn’t that they didn’t know if they could save me, it was, they didn’t see how it would be Possible to save me.
The moral of the story is for god’s sake, if you had a c section the first time, have a scheduled one the second time. :p
The shitty thing was I was scheduled for one the next morning but went into labor first.
my oldest is almost 20 now and this baby in the story is 10 now and healthy as a horse. He is almost 5’5 now. So everything worked out.
But it took me well over a year to heal physically, more like 2 years to get over the trauma of it. And I got major PPD.
I was attached to my baby, but I would sit there and worry about my kids dying and the funerals they would have and how i would kill myself if my kids died and bursting into tears 30 times a day (I’m not a crier)
Thank God and scientists for prozac 😀
I’m glad she is getting help, and hope she gets better fast
Thank you for sharing your story. I’m glad everything worked out for you.
Thank you for sharing your story. We women are too hard on ourselves. Childbirth is a wonderful thing, but the mechanics of it are challenging. Even in the 21st century, it still can still be life threatening. Thus the 1 in 4 women dying in childbirth in 1900 statistic.
Bloody hell Shelly. You are a brave woman. I remember asking in the pre-natal classes what would happen if the baby got stuck and just wouldn’t come out? I really wanted to know. The instructor basically wouldn’t tell us. I guess she would have had to describe a situation like yours.
I’m very glad you made it, Shelly, but I am very glad I opted for a (doctor encouraged!) VBAC.
Out of curiosity, what kind of incision did you have with your first?
Good for her cause very often young mothers hide their malaise.
Unfortunately MANY mothers of all ages suffer in silence with postpartum depression, for fear of shattering the glass around the concept that postpartum is all unicorns and rainbows, and that we should feel #blessed and #happy because our baby is healthy.
As a postpartum doula I write this with a babe in arms and a mama who is also suffering from postpartum depression.
It’s a very real, very isolating experience that needs to be discussed freely and openly to remove the stigma, along with all variations of mental health.
I agree but when I said young mother, what I mean was newly mother.
Besides, I entirely agree with you.
@freebunny, for sure! That was just my little PSA since about half of my clients suffer in silence until I gently suggest getting professional help. PPD is no joke. ):
Instead of maternity leave to “stay at home” we need a place for new moms to be together or a place to choose to be together.
Like instead of a home for wayward women a home for disoriented new moms so we’re not alone and changer emotional support. The isolation was horrible for me on top of sleeplessness and physical weirdness.
YES. I had horrific PPA and felt so isolated and no one understood. Everyone who already had children or hadn’t had children yet seemed to whitewash my feelings. I would sit on the couch shaking and fighting to breathe when the sun went down. My son would be crying and I could not pick him up because I was paralyzed with anxiety and fear. I cried constantly.
It was actually on an internet message board that I found a kind soul who encouraged me to get help. And I did. And I’m fine now. But no one should have to feel that way or be told “it’s just hormones”.
I hope this treatment is exactly what she needs,and that she is on the road to wellness.
PPD is extremely serious. No joking matter for the mother or the family involved.
I think it’s great that she’s being so public about her struggle. A lot of women struggle with post partum depression and they don’t have to be ashamed to seek help. Hayden had a really tough time as a child star and now she’s dealing with depression as a new mom. I hope she has good doctors and gets better soon.
I always liked this woman, I’m glad she hasn’t felt the need to hide her diagnosis. It goes a long way to fighting the stigma.
What did she go through as a child star?
Depends what you believe. I’ve read horrible things about her parents on CDAN, drugs, sex for money, etc. It does sound like, at the very least, she didn’t have the most loving and selfless parents in town.
Its funny, I think lots of shit comes home to roast when you become a mother.
@aurelia – ain’t that the truth!
@aurelia – ain’t that the truth!
I hope she gets well soon. Hope her husband steps up for her. Glad she took this problem seriously and diidnt let it fester.
I feel like you’re at risk the whole time you’re
breastfeeding because your hormones are still insane. I had crazy acne the whole time, which I’ve never had in my life. So if she’s still breastfeeding, I feel like she can expect to struggle with this at least the whole time until she weans and a few months after, if that makes sense.
PPD can hit any time in the first year – whether your breastfeeding or not. I’m glad she’s being public about this because most people don’t realize that and instead assume, “oh, she’s made it through the first 2-3 months, she must be fine.”
Unfortunately, I think PPD can strike very late after your child’s birth. I know many moms who said they were hit with it well after their children turned two. I do think it’s affected by breastfeeding, but I also think it’s a disease that is no respecter of persons. And like I said downthread, I really feel that while hormones are a HUGE factor, the way we treat women in America after they’ve given birth seems to be a culprit as well. Studies show that in communities and cultures where women are respected and well-tended after giving birth, the likelihood of PPD occurring slips down quite a bit. Off the top of my head, I can’t give exact figures, but it’s pretty shocking. We teach women in America that childbirth isn’t as important as having a high-powered job, and that “looking hot” can’t happen after childbirth (“oh, she lost her looks after having babies”), or worse, we say stuff like “she looks good for having had children!” as if this is supportive. Women give birth, go home one or two days later, and their husbands go back to work generally within that week. NO SUPPORT. It really does affect us. I read about these countries and nations where women are more desirable and more respected after their bodies have gone through these miracles. Where the community provides a sense of relief to moms and raising children is a “village” thing. A lot of that makes much more sense to me, as it results in happier and healthier women. I’m sorry. I totally went off topic.
PPD is horrible; I suffered from that withmy first for the first 2 years of her life. I was so unhappy that often enough I felt the urge to kill myself. But because my daughter needed me, even being depressed, I carried on, went into treatment and felt much better after a little while. Good on her for being so open about it. Many suffer in silence.
Good for you for realizing that the best way to take care of your child was to take care of yourself! Thank you for sharing.
I am all over this board and I bet I seem neurotic! But this topic hits so close to home! I totally understand how you feel and I hope you feel supported by people around you!
Poor thing has been suffering for quite a while now. So glad she realized she needs help and took steps to get it. Prayers for her.
I had terrible Post-partum anxiety with my second starting the day I came home from the hospital but luckily(?) I have anxiety/panic issues anyway so was able to recognize the symptoms and get the meds I needed. The hardest part was that I couldn’t nurse the baby because of the meds so I felt so so guilty. I also struggled to care for my kids for a month or so and needed a ton of help from my husband and mother. I was so fortunate that I was able to take care of it right away but remember how terrified I was that I wouldn’t be able to “snap out of it.” I feel so badly that Hayden has been suffering for so long.
I suffered from PPD after the birth of my second child. I already had a history of depression so I was able to recognize something was wrong. It’s the worst feeling in the world to wish harm to yourself and your baby. I wouldn’t wish this on my worst enemy. It took a full year of medication and treatment to finally kick it. I wish Hayden the best.
I wish her the very best and a speedy recovery. She deserves her privacy, but I’m glad she made it public enough to bring awareness and remind people how serious it can be.
All forms of depression are serious illnesses. I am glad she is seeking help.
If you or someone you love is suffering there is help.
http://www.nami.org/Find-Support
Good for you for posting that link, Abbicci. Hope anyone who needs it clicks on it and gets help.
I have tremendous respect and admiration for Hayden’s authenticity and acts of courage.
During that interview, she may have been in an uptick, but then things seeped back into the dark valley. No matter where Hayden may be amid the struggle, she demonstrates great strength to speak openly and to seek professional help. Her public candor goes a long way towards facilitating discussion on post partum depression as well as depression in its varied manifestations.
Thank you Hayden, you are a beacon, lighting the way. Sending peace and love to you.
I can relate. I had my son in April and suffered with postpartum depression and anxiety for 3 1/2 months before getting help. I started Zoloft near the end of July and feel so much better. There’s such a stigma about mental illness and it sucks. I hope she feels better soon.
Get well Hayden. I love you and your giant husband.
He’s such a giant. And I find him so gloriously attractive. I think they’re a sweet couple, and I wish them all the best as they find their way as a family.
I’m actually in early labor at the moment with my second, and while i didn’t have PPD with the first, it’s a real possibility for me with a family history of depression and other mental illness. I’m so happy that hayden is publicly talking about this. Maybe it’ll bring awareness to how common PPD can be.
Best of luck to them!
Best wishes for an easy delivery, Abby, and a healthy mom and baby. Congratulations on baby #2!
Yay Abby! Best wishes and lots of hugs to you and the little ones. GOOD on you for being aware and caring for yourself.
Good luck to you, momma! If after your baby is born you don’t quite feel yourself, I hope you can do everything in your power to get well. I wouldn’t wish PPD on ANYONE. It doesn’t always affect everyone though, so here’s hoping it’ll skip over you again…
GOOD FOR HER! godspeed and good luck!
Best wishes to her. I feel like it was probably not a great thing for her to play that ppd role for Nashville while she was really dealing with it. I’m not an actor but I understand about getting into a role, especially in an already vulnerable state. Must have been a nightmare. 😕
I agree. I’m not sure if they wrote the pregnancy in because she was pregnant in real life – it felt like that – but I was watching and thinking of how hard it must be for a new mother to play those scenes. I know acting but with post-first baby it must have been hard.
Best wishes to her and her family. Can’t really add anything about PPD that hasn’t been said already.
Hayden married into a completely different culture where women are expected to do everything with little help.
I think that is also a difficult adjustment to make and probably made the whole situation harder.
Not sure what culture she married into (who is her husband again?) but in America we have the same problem. Women go home from the hospital one or two days max after having the baby unless there are complications. Their partners and husbands aren’t given enough maternity leave, much less the woman herself. Without a midwife or postpartum doula, there are no in-home help options. I suppose you could try to hire an at-home nurse, but I’d be willing to bet that A) they’d wonder why you were asking for help, and B) you’d spend a hefty amount in your life paying those bills later. Basically, if you don’t have another older child that’s willing to run around for you, or your mother can’t come over everyday, you’re on your own. We talk about it like we’re so *blessed* here, but the reality is pretty cold and sterile.
Isn’t Vlad Ukranian? I’m from similar, Slavic culture and I don’t agree. the role of a mother is considered as something special and normal at the same time: yes, people suppose motherhood is full of sacrifice but at the same time, society expects of you to respect your mother. Families treat their young mothers with care and offer help in every way possible: I’m currently pregnant and my SIL already offered me to come and stay with her so she can take care of me while my husband is away on a business trip (we’re talking 2 months), my MIL can’t stop offering to cook and clean and wash so I could rest, my parents call every day, my dad is driving me to and from everywhere, my PhD professors practically made me promise I’d take a break so I could focus on the baby, promising the program will wait for me.
It was the same for my sister-I remember babysitting her newborn kid when I was 10. It’s expected of a mother of a newborn to put her baby first, but it’s also expected that everyone else help her.
Nothing but my best wishes for her, for her husband and her baby.
I got tears when I read about this last night, so many women suffer through this silently or are told they will “snap out of it”. I’m happy she decided to get treatment and go public with it, my hope is that it will help other women admit they need help, and it will spark conversations about how serious PPD can be. I’m already seeing those asshole judgmental moms commenting about how Hayden isn’t brave because real bravery would’ve been her staying with her family and toughing it out, or she’s just a spoiled rich girl who shouldn’t be a mom, it makes my stomach turn with rage.
I had it bad with my daughter, I was a single mother and she had colic, I remember many nights just holding her while she screamed and feeling like I wanted to put her down and run out the door and never look back, or kill myself because I was afraid people would think I was a failure if I left, in the back of my mind I knew I would never do either of those things but fantasizing was comforting to me, and looking back I realize how lucky I was, at any moment I could’ve lost that control and acted on my thoughts. It breaks my heart to think of all women who are suffering right now.
I felt the same way with my first two. Especially with my son because he was so colicky and I had never experienced anything like that before. When my parents came and watched him and my daughter for the first time when he was a baby my dad actually wanted to take him to the ER because he thought that something must be wrong with him and that no baby cries like this for no reason. It was kind of relieving because no matter how much you try and tell people about your colicky baby they really don’t know until they experience it.
I just had my last babies and I have started to have the same feelings too because they are becoming very colicky as well. Like the wanting to just run away and not come back or just being sad all of the time. It’s just so hard when you get no sleep and you have this tiny little baby screaming at you all of the time and your hormones are going nuts. The newborn stage for me is the worst and I can’t wait to get past it. I never had to get help with my first two, although I think I should’ve after I had my son when I look back, so I’m hoping it won’t get that bad again this time but if it does I’m not going to ignore it again. Unfortunately I married into a family that has a very patriarchal view on family as well. The women have lots of kids and take care of them and love every scone of it while the men go to work and aren’t very hands on for the child rearing. So admitting that I was unhappy being a mom is not something I ever want to do with them. My husband though is very hands on and I get the feeling that his family looks down on me for having him do so much by screw that, that’s why I married and had kids wth him because I knew he would be a great dad.
Big hug and my best wishes for you.
I’m sending out good vibes to both of you. you’re not alone!!!
My son is 7 now but I remember 2 things- I totally understod how back in times past woman would turn to the bottle to cope with motherhood. And I totally understod how some mothers just took off one day to get away from it all and never came back. Now, I was already on anti depressants for long standing depression so I didn’t get PND. But I certainly would have. No sleep can take a person apart in record time. I never believed it was just a drop in hormones.
I worked with a woman who told me she had post natal pyschosis. The tipping point came one day when she was so enraged she tried to kill her husband. Her mother and husband literally threw her into the car in her p.j’s along with the baby and drove her straight to her doctor who put her on anti depressants that day. She turned around in 4 weeks.
I’m sad that this is happening to her right now, but I have to say…alot of women go through this and they are ashamed or think they are bad people. And they aren’t. One of my friends went through this. She told e she was embarrassed and ashamed and abnormal. She was hating herself and started drinking alot-even when she was alone with her baby. We would try to take turns watching the baby so she she could have some time alone but it wasn’t working. She refused to get professional help even though we begged her. (Family, friends and husband). She left the baby alone in her crib one night and drove to another state. Once she got there, she called her husband at work, and told him she wasn’t coming back. She did, but not for a few days. At that point, he threatened divorce if she didn’t get help. She did, and it took almost a year. Things are good for them now. I hope HP does well. I have a feeling she will get through it.Hope any woman out there feeling like this knows it’s okay. You aren’t bad or crazy. Do what it takes to feel better and if that’s therapy, then so be it. Don’t be ashamed.
that story makes me want to cry. if only your friend knew just how normal she actually is!! there was a local news story that happened around the time I was going through this with my first. A mother was suffering from postpartum psychosis with her newborn baby girl, who had been diagnosed with torticollis (which my baby was also diagnosed with. On top of the postpartum psychosis, we were also bringing her to therapy twice a week that cost us $$$). She had taken her baby and jumped out of the window from the top of a skyscraper. To put this all into perspective, I saw that story, saw the crazy amount of similarities in it, and thought that I should do the same thing. Even when I didn’t want to, I wondered if that was somehow my destiny. I’ve been through a lot in my life, but my PPD was by far the worst thing I’ve ever experienced. and knowing that I was suffering with that didn’t help me through it at all. it’s uncontrollable, and not something you can talk your way through.
Good work, Hayden. What a good mom choice, to seek treatment. Best wishes to you and your lovely family.
I’m 57, so my first was born in 1986. PPD was around, but absolutely nobody discussed it. I suffered from just about everything described on this thread. The worst of it, though — and this is the part that no one speaks of publicly — is that you start to worry that even though you wouldn’t ever, you could possibly hurt your baby. I became so irrational that, for example, I was afraid to go to shopping malls for fear I would drop my baby over a railing. As irrational as it sounds, I course I told no one, not even my closest friends, for fear I would lose my child. Nobody took anti-depressants then, and in my limited experience, nobody saw psychiatrists except really crazy people. I suffered for five months before the fog lifted. Two years later, after several glasses of wine, I mentioned this casually during a kitchen conversation at a baby shower. Several faces paled immediately, then three other women said they’d had the same near-psychotic haze. To the point…PPD isn’t just depression. It can cross the line into delusional thinking. I went on to have three more children and never had PPD again. I think many women are afraid to seek treatment not because of the stigma of depression, but out of fear they will be branded truly crazy.
Oh girl. I truly feel you. Truly. Just reading your post has made me tear up. I agree that the term “depression”, ironically, it too “light” a word for what some of us went through. Delusions, self-harm, etc. are just the beginning. I posted my story further down. I hope I don’t get moderated so that people can see it.
Wow Thank you so much for sharing that story. You may have really helped someone by having the guts to tell your story. It’s heartbreaking how many women suffer in silence.
This must be terrifying for her. Im proud of her for getting the help she needs, and for being open about her difficulties. I wonder if she has family near by, and if they’re helping out with the baby. And poor Vlad, it must be scary and confusing for him too. Good, healing thoughts to the whole family.
Glad she’s seeking treatment and hope they can give her the help she needs.
It must’ve been very brave of her to seek help – in her world of glamour and image – to admit she wasnt coping and seek help. I wish her all the best for a healthy recovery and nothing but happy times ahead with her husband and new family..
Plus people may side-eye her and question her as a mother. So this was VERY brave of her. I have so much admiration for Hayden.
It sucks. I told no one when I had PPD after my second-born. I carried on like all was fine, but my mind was anything but fine. I never wanted to hurt her or my eldest who was two at the time. My problem was that I felt like I was a horrible mother to both of them and that I couldn’t keep them safe. However, they were both loved, nurtured, well-fed, and properly clothed. And as far as keeping them safe, I don’t know what more I could have done; I certainly wasn’t letting them play with knives and electrical sockets. PPD makes absolutely no sense when you look back upon it, but it is your only truth when you are suffering through it. I’m glad to see any woman who needs help to get it.
<3. I suffered through a lot of paranoia when I went through mine. Believing that you're not a good parent when you're dealing with PPD is common from what I understand. Bless you and bless all women everywhere who have brought people into the world. It's serious business.
with my first kid, I had postpartum psychosis. which is basically the worst you can expect from postpartum. I had nightmares. I would black out during the day. I would have panic attacks and visions of myself harming my child and other random children. I’d have fits of uncontrollable rage. I’d have fits of uncontrollable sobbing. I was tempted at all hours of the day and night to commit suicide. I had overwhelming fears of being left alone. I was extremely paranoid. I was vicious, I treated myself and others horribly. I began self harming. Yeah. It’s real. And it’s not talked about enough. I hope Hayden is ok. After doing a TON of research, I’ve heard again and again that so much about PPD has to do not only with hormones, but what we’re eating (chemicals/GMOs/additives) and how society treats women. We expected to “bounce” back. It’s not a normal process to have help in your home or get extended treatment from health care. Maternity leave is sometimes out of the question for either parent. So the woman is left alone to deal with this new person in her life with very little emotional, physical or financial support. While I don’t advocate this this be the way all women do things, my game-plan with my second child certainly helped me: because an epidural is a GIANT dose of depressant drugs, having one can make women who are likely to experience PPD go into a tailspin, so for my second child, I opted to have him at home. The level of care that I received from a midwife was FAR better than my first experience at the hospital. Because she was a woman who had experienced hundreds of positive, natural births, she helped me through it and the result was an incredible, empowering experience. I ate my placenta in the form of capsules, and my midwife stayed with me for days after the baby was born. All these things together made PPD practically non-existent this time around. I had two major panic attacks and one day where I experienced the same dark depression for about two hours. All those times I upped the ante and took more placenta pills and it balanced me right out. Again, I’m not a sanctimommy about any of this and I would never suggest that all women do what I did. But I hope all women feel they have the right to consider all their options and make the choice that feels right for them. PPD is a living, waking hell that’s impossible to escape from. So many, many women take their own lives and sometimes the lives of their children out of delusion. This is a subject that I’m obviously passionate about, and one more way in which I feel America has failed it’s women in it’s approach. But with how terrible the feminist war continues to be, I can’t say I’m surprised, either.
Ugh. Scanned this over and realized just how many spelling/grammar mistakes I’ve made. And some rambling incoherency. I wrote it in a rush but I hope the overall message was clear.
Good for her and I hope the treatment helps. My mother suffered from PPD (she was/is an AMAZING mom though), and didn’t seek treatment…it basically then extended into longer-term depression that she is still dealing with now. I’m expecting my first baby now and she’s been pretty blunt with me that I should be prepared for it and be ready to ask for help if needed. I’ve also talked it over a bit with my husband so we’re at least both aware it might be coming.
what more can you do except try and prepare for the unknown? Good luck to you, momma. I wish you all good things. If you’re in a stage of pregnancy where you have enough energy, do as much research on prevention and taking care of yourself as you can. There’s more info out in the interwebs than there ever used to be! Congrats to you, and I’m hoping for the best for you.
I had really hoped Nashville was going to let Juliet get help, it must be even harder for Hayden, putting yourself in that place for a character. I can’t imagine trying to fight that uphill battle while portraying it on TV. It would definitely make things worse if i was in her shoes
Wishing Hayden the very best. PPD is a beast sometimes.
Kudos to her for her candour and for seeking help. She sounds like a sensible, intelligent woman. She is fortunate to have the resources to seek & receive the help she needs – in terms of other women in the US treatment is not as accessible unfortunately. If only it were a matter of saying “Yes, I am having problems coping and need help”. It’s the same with maternity leave.
BS!!! Where are you from, Canada??
Anyone know what type of treatment center she is going to? I was unaware that there are treatment centers for PPD.
Screw people who think PPD isn’t real and hugs to everyone going through it.
I had it very bad and had NO support from my family, who don’t believe in PPD. I was called names, mostly lazy and selfish because I could barely get out of bed to care for my baby. I was told to “snap out of it” or “take a walk, you’ll feel better,” or “you just need to get out.” I was the talk of the family – the terrible mother who didn’t know how to be a mother. Even when I got help my family still believed it was in my head and that I was simply lazy. 11 years later they still say terrible things about that time in my life. It’s only one of many reasons why I don’t bother much with my family.