Carrie Underwood gave birth to her son Isaiah Michael Fisher earlier this year, in late February. She’s been pretty quiet since then, or maybe I haven’t been paying attention. I mean, she hasn’t been a complete hermit, she’s been out and about here and there, but it definitely seems like she’s given herself time to enjoy being a first-time mom. Carrie covers this week’s issue of People Magazine, probably because she agreed to an exclusive photoshoot and interview about how motherhood has changed her… and because she’s got a new album coming out in a few weeks. Surprisingly, Carrie admits that she’s full of doubt as a mom. Carrie has always struck me as a hyper-perfectionist, so it must be hard for her to admit that she finds breastfeeding so difficult.
She’s a perfectionist onstage, but as a mom, Carrie Underwood is navigating the self-doubt that every parent feels when it comes to having a new baby.
“You feel guilty about every single thing, every decision you make, everything you do,” the Grammy-winning superstar, 32, tells PEOPLE in a candid new interview at the Nashville-area cabin she shares with her husband of five years, NHL star Mike Fisher, and their 7-month-old son Isaiah Michael.
When it comes to breast-feeding Isaiah, she says she plans to keep it up for “as long as I can take it. It’s hard. My supply is pretty nil. We have to supplement with formula. I’m doing the best that I can, you know?”
The CMA Awards host, whose new album, Storyteller (preorder it here), is out Oct. 23, says she’s more “loosey-goosey” than she ever thought she’d be as a mom — and confesses that motherhood and marriage weren’t always where she saw her life going.
“I never dreamt of my wedding day and the perfect guy,” she says. “Then I met Mike, and I was like, ‘Wow, so now I know what I was missing.’ And the same with my son. I was never like, ‘I want kids so bad.’ And now that I have Isaiah in my life, I’m like, ‘What did I do before?’ ”
Some women just have difficulties breastfeeding and producing milk. It happens and there should be no judgement about it, although I’m sure there are many on the mommy-blogs who are judging and complaining. Also: Carrie and Mike accidentally locked Isaiah in the car a few months back! She claimed that the dog locked the doors (likely story!!) and that they had to break the window to get to the baby. See, to me that’s a funny story about parenthood but I’m sure she got judged for that too.
Photos courtesy of People Magazine, WENN.
Are those ducks on her dress? I freaking want that frock!
I have the same issue. Have been almost exclusively bfing for 6 months now but its insanely hard. Baby had problems latching on and sucking effectively and my supply never got off a good start. I realised pumping would help but only after baby wasted away for 10 days and I started supplementing. Realizing I will never get enough bm if I supplement, I managed to pump round the clock for a while and stop supplementation. But ever since its been a struggle to keep it up, with a baby who is disinterested in the breast and very distractsble to boot and me pumping after every session to keep up the supply and make her feed more so she doesnt drop below the 5 percentile. I can never have one easy bf session, its all work all the time and frankly I hate it.
You sound like a great mommy who is devoted to TRYING, and that’s all that matters!
You don’t have to try to breastfeed. You can be an equally good and loving mother who chooses to formula feed.
Agree with Kate. My supply wasn’t great and struggled to get their bellies full breastfeeding for 6 months. They were frustrated as well as I. When I switched to formula, we were all happier and my now 5YO and 8YO kiddos are smart, healthy and doing just fine.
Breastfeeding wasn’t nearly as natural and easy as I thought it was and I’m grateful to have had an alternative that gave my kids the nutrients they needed.
100% agree with Kate.
Kate, YOU don’t have to try if you don’t want to. Clearly Nur does, she had a hard time thus she SHOULD feel good about both trying and, should she decide to, either supplement or go to 100% formula. Your tone is as aggressive as the La Leche nuts on the opposite side of the spectrum.
@Kate NO one HAS to try to breastfeed, but clearly it was important for her that she not give up, hence the constant pumping and time sacrifice. THAT makes her an amazing mommy. So does recognizing that your body may not suffice at supplying all the nutrients and choosing to nourish your baby with formula. No judgment for mommies who formula feed, at ALL. I was simply commending her for her devotion to doing what she feels is best.
Man, I never thought I would be on the “mommy judgment” bonfire.
I couldn’t bf both of my babies. With my first it was hell. Pure, horrible hell on earth. It was painful and I got mastitis. I was crying every day for 2 weeks and finally gave up and got her formula. Best decision I ever made. With my second, I tried pumping but developed mastitis again and a nipple abscess. I switched to formula as well. My boobs were not made to bf and that is ok….it took me while to not feel guilty with my first, but with my second, I wanted to be happy and have a healthy baby….dont feel bad for switching primarily to formula…screw every one that judges you!
I feel for both you and Carrie. My first did great in the hospital, but once we got home, all hell broke loose. She wouldn’t latch, screamed, and we were both terrified and horrified. Had received some surprise, gratis formula maybe a month prior through a company via our OB, and thank god for that! It got us through the night until I could talk to the hospital lactation consultant & get a home visit scheduled. We got back on track, and despite one hell of a mastitis a couple months later, she nursed till I was pregnant with twins a couple years later. I had all intentions of nursing the twins till whenever, but I just couldn’t drink enough (?)/sleep enough/eat enough to get a good enough supply going. Heartbreakingly, in spite of pumping, we had to begin supplementing, and before I knew it, it was the beginning of the end. You just do the best you can, it is all you can do, and it will always be good enough. And you must remember that.
I am IN LOVE with all these comments!!! With all the awful judgy mommy brigades out there, it is so nice to read so many NONjudgemental, encouraging, and accepting stories and replies. And I don’t even have kids yet so I can’t imagine how happy yall have made the women who are already parents who read y’all’s comments!!! So thanks to all the above ladies for being awesome 😍
I had a very similar experience, with both my kids. Although I can honestly say I did the best I could at the time, I don’t know that I’d put a baby or myself through that torture again. I’d focus simply on bonding, not on a pressured goal (exclusive BF) we couldn’t reach.
This happened to me, too! You are a wonderful mother!!
I’m not sure if it would help you Nur, but when I was having trouble the first few months with my first, I drank a lot of fennel tea (any nursing tea with some galactagogues should help). That boosted my milk supply up to his demanding appetite, and I could take him off formula (I was mixed feeding at this point, but his reflux was worse due to his intolerance of cow milk proteins). With my second now (12 weeks already…where does the time go?) my body just seemed to remember and the supply was just there.
I totally understand that breastfeeding is so difficult the first time you try it. It took me 6 months of determination, repeated mastitis, being used as a teething aid, before the supply settled and I felt comfortable enough to continue.
I found the dog story funny also.
It happened to me while digesting my anut dog, but instead of a baby it was my house keys a cell. She has a small dog so while I got out of the car to get the bags from the backseat he got excited jumping at the window and hit the lock button. I had to find a neighbor that was home to let me use their phone to call for help.
My dog locked himself and my son in the car. Luckily, my son was three years old so I just talked him through unlocking the car. It wasn’t the first time my dog had locked the car, so I believe her “story.”
Sorry I ment dog sitting not digesting. Lol I’m really started to hate Apple new work correct update.
Over the years, I have come to not be bothered by Carrie.
Her husband on the other hand….just do not tweet.
I planned to breastfeed when I was pregnant with my daughter, but after trying for a month, the milk just never came. It was incredibly disappointing, I was judged quite harshly by some family members. Mt daughter is turning three next month and she’s as healthy as a horse lol
I work with a lactation consultant. She helps moms increase their milk supply & issues with latching on, ect. Diet does matter when breastfeeding. Eating lots of greens can help increase milk flow. Also this very delicious homemade oat bar w/ a mothers breast milk can help as well. We offer a Mom’s Group for support & they frequently make those. Taking capsulated placenta supplements can DECREASE your milk supply. I know that’s a hip thing to do nowadays but everything has disadvantages along with its benefits. But sometimes it doesn’t matter what you do.
I had supply issues with both my kids and took Domperidone (which I had to smuggle in from Canada). It is a freakin’ miracle drug, better than any herbs, diet, water, etc, and no side effects. Not having enough milk really made me feel flawed as a mother (and contributed to PPD later on). I desperately wish that it was available in the US because it is a physical and emotional life-saver. That the FDA won’t approve it only proves to me how little they value women.
It bothers me how judgey people are about the whole breastfeeding thing. I wasn’t breastfed simply because my mom found it gross and uncomfortable and that is her right as a mother to decide it wasn’t for her. I was a perfectly healthy child and continue to be in adulthood. Now days they don’t even let you leave the bloody hospital until you’ve got the breastfeeding thing down pat! You don’t get to make a decision about it, it’s decided for you.
My sister had my nephew and tried SO hard to breastfeed him for the first three weeks which then resulted in him ending up in ICU due to being malnourished and a low weight because she didn’t realize the baby was starving. She is naturally big breasted and produced next to no milk but some. She felt like a failure as a mother and her boyfriend (the dad) made her feel like absolute CRAP for putting his baby in danger and he pretty much forced her onto some medication to help produce milk, etc all the while she is anxious that her baby is still starving! He was a jerk for doing that to her and I’m glad that he’s her ex now.
I hate that magazines and media even ask about breastfeeding. Because no matter what the subject says, it’s wrong. If she nurses exclusively and loves it, she’s guilting moms who don’t. If she supplements, she did something wrong and that’s why her supply dwindled. If she didn’t want to nurse and went right for the bottle, she’s a negligent monster.
Naw, I think this is an excellent story to share and it makes me love her. The stories are always either “I’m Supermom, I produce milk ‘like a cow'”, or “I didn’t care for breastfeeding so I used formula, screw you mommy wars!” I never hear this story, which was mine as well–wanted so desperately to breastfeed but our bodies just weren’t having it. Glad I’m not alone.
I agree! You can see even on this thread that many women are relating to her, and this is the opposite of what you often hear celebrity moms say, which is how much of a breeze breastfeeding and having an infant is.
Our dog locked us out of the car on a road trip at a rest stop. Fortunately this was before we had kids, and now we are very OCD about making sure we take the keys out of the ignition, even if we are just grabbing something out of the back.
Why does any woman have to be subjected to questions about breastfeeding during an interview? Maybe her publicist said in advance that she would welcome such questions because she wants to talk about the matter for one reason or another; otherwise, it seems intrusive and strange.
I sort of agree n general, but given how hostile our society is to non breastfeeding moms, I’d love to see more celebs come out and tell their stories of breastfeeding failure.
The thing is, breastfeeding is better for the baby on average, but not in every case. If the mother does not produce milk, or if breastfeeding is contributing to depression, or causes other issues, then in those cases formula is actually better for the overall health of the child.
I had trouble breastfeeding both my kids. Despite being well endowed, I did not produce much milk. My babies were small because I had preeclampsia with both pregnancies. Their small mouthes and my big boobs may not have been a good match and so I never made a big supply.
I was on medication to help produce with my daughter, had a hospital grade pump, rented a scale. No matter how long I fed her she only ever got an ounce out of me.
We always supplemented and I got huge judgement from so because if you supplement then the baby doesn’t suck enough and your milk production doesn’t increase. I think I could have done anything and I would have had a poor milk supply. And now if it comes up and someone tries to get all preachy I shut it down. Without formula my babies would have been malnourished. Thank goodness I live where I can easily get it and have access to clean water. My kids are big and healthy and very bonded to me, being able to breastfeed does not make you a better mother. Just means your boobs worked better than mine.
I had to supplement too. I have fairly large breasts and always imagined that would somehow translate into easy feeding. Nope. I just didn’t make enough to feed my children so had to supplement both times.
My first one, formula fed, did end up with life threatening food allergies, and my second BF one did not. I had Carrie’s exact same problem with my first, although was already done trying by three months. With number two, my insurance paid for a double electric pump and I used a product called a supplemental nursing system to give him formula, so I ended up being able to nurse him until he was 18 mos. The hardest part was dealing with my mom and my aunts who all think they know best but had no problems, so why should I listen to them?
I bf my second, he latched on like a champ, 1 day of nipple pain, I loved it. But he was the crankiest, hungrier baby you ever met and no matter how much I fed him, he wanted more. And I was pumping and feeding and producing like a county fair cow. One night my husband just gave him some formula while I was at work and he slept for 8hrs- never happened! The lactation consultant said I had low fat milk and my son was hungry cause I was feeding him skim milk basically. I tried all of her suggestions but half heartedly because his behavior on formula was so much more content then when I tried to bf. I wanted to do it, I tried to do it, it didn’t work out and my son is fine.
From what my nurse friend has said, some Oriental races have “double cream” breastmilk. So we end up with chubby Sumo-like babies. It’s not just diet that matters. Genetics also play a role. Do what’s best for you. You’re the one doing the hard work, be it producing the milk or preparing a bottle at all hours!
I feel like I’m constantly hearing that only 1-5% of women can’t breastfeed but I think it’s either incorrect or misused, because many people have trouble. I think that stat just makes people feel guilty for not doing enough.
I suspect I have insufficient glandular tissue or a hormone issue. My breasts have never grown and never produced much milk. I supplemented with formula and I still didn’t get my period back until I weaned my two youngest kids.
That only takes into account women with physical issues that preclude nursing. It does not take into account women with other conditions that would preclude it or make it not the best option.
Like me, for example. I have bipolar disorder. Generally, I don’t take medications because I tend to have awful reactions to them. I use a combo of cognitive therapy and other non-pharmaceutical interventions. However, one of the largest triggers of episodes for bipolar women is a lack of consistent sleep. A bipolar woman should be getting 8-10 hours of sleep, every night, consistently. Obviously, a mother can’t breastfeed if she is not available to nurse or pump for 8-10 hours at a stretch. For that reason, most information I could find steered BP mothers towards formula. But we’re not counted in that percentage, because there’s nothing that physically prevents us from nursing. My boobs filled up, did the whole thing. I just never did it. My mother in law introduced me to what essentially is chest and stomach binding, which presses the breasts and stomach and allows everything to “shrink back” relatively fast.
So remember that 1-5% number refers only to those who are physically unable. It doesn’t count medication contradictions, mental health issues (mental illnesses, sexual abuse issues, etc.) or lifestyle concerns. Some researchers believe that if you counted all of them into that total, the actual number goes up to around 25-33% of mothers are either unable to breastfeed or are “unsuited” to it – meaning they can, but overall it’s better if they don’t.
Facts:
1. Breastfeeding is best on average, but that does not mean that a breastfed baby will automatically be better than a formula fed one
2. Inability to produce milk is only one of many valid reasons not to breastfeed (baby won’t latch, allergies, maternal depression, etc)
3. One of the most important factors for a healthy baby is a healthy and sane mom. Judging moms and causing them to feel guilty and depressed is the worst thing we can do to a baby.
I hope more celebs who don’t breastfeed come out so hopefully we can normalize the choice as a society.
Thank you for this response, I just love it. Wholeheartedly agree.
Love this comment!
@ sam: I have bipolar as well and the medication I take isn’t going to allow me to bf. I’m nowhere near having kids but when my psychiatrist told me I couldn’t bf i was devastated. How messed up is that! Then my doctor explained that women with bipolar are more likley to develop post partum depression and even higher for postpartum psychosis. It is way more important for me to be able to bond with my child. Period