Selena Gomez is preparing to release her Revival album, and she’s doing interviews all over the place. Two of them have stuck out, and those are her discussions with Refinery 29 and Elle. Selena’s pushing away from her post-Disney image. We now know that the rumors of her wild side were somewhat overstated. Her rehab visit was actually a major health crisis involving chemotherapy for her ongoing bout with Lupus. She’s pushing a grown-up image now, and I think it’s Selena’s time to really shine. We never saw her go brazenly wild like ol’ Miley Cyrus. There were a few moments when I honestly wondered if she would go that way, like when she walked around with her cheeks hanging out of her shorts, but that was a brief blip on the radar. Selena’s gonna be fine.
In these interviews, she talks about Miley’s transformation, Justin Bieber, body shaming, and those rumors of a hookup with Cara Delevingne. Remember, they were fast friends and did some yacht frolicking together, and Selena doesn’t really answer the question there. She simply says she enjoyed the rumors, mostly because they weren’t about Swaggy. She also says “everyone” questions their sexuality at some point:
On the rumors about Cara: “Honestly, I loved it. I didn’t mind it. Especially because they weren’t talking about other people in my life for once, which was wonderful. Honestly, though, [Cara]’s incredible and very open, and she just makes me open. She’s so fun and she’s just extremely adventurous, and sometimes I just want that in my life, so I didn’t mind it. I loved it.”
Does everyone question their sexuality? “Oh, I think everybody does, no matter who they are. I do, yeah, of course. Absolutely. I think it’s healthy to gain a perspective on who you are deep down, question yourself and challenge yourself; it’s important to do that.”
On the past few years & the Bieber breakup: “I think people really wanted to see me fail. I’d sit down in an interview and get the most harshly asked questions. Of course I got my heart broken. Of course I was pissed about it. There, everybody has it. I was so disappointed, because I never wanted my career to be a tabloid story. At this point, there is no anger. There’s closure in a very good, healthy way. We’ve seen each other. I’m always encouraging and I am proud of his journey. I think people are making it out to be something that is more tragic than it really was. We grew up together. We both made mistakes. That’s it.”
On the Disney crowd, including Miley Cyrus: “Everyone has found their identity in a really interesting way. We didn’t come out as these robots that looked and dressed the same. We had to go through our own shit. At the end of the day, it’s respecting every female artist’s choice in how she expresses herself, because that’s what she wants.”
On body shaming: “It was appalling. I had never experienced that before. I don’t want to become little or hurt or a victim. I want to be strong for girls. I just want them to know that there is an option of standing up for yourself.”
The bottom line: “I’m just a nice person.”
[From Elle & Refinery 29]
Well, I’m never a fan of blanket statements, so when Selena says everyone has “absolutely” questioned their sexual orientation, that makes me bristle. It’s not the subject matter, it’s the finality of the statement that bugs. Have many people done so? Sure, but don’t make a humongous sweeping assumption about the entire human race. Otherwise, these are solid interviews for a pop star looking to change up how people view her. She seems to be completely away from the Bieber danger, which is excellent. That’s the biggest step for her, really. She needs to stay away from him and concentrate on her health. Her career appears to be falling into place on its own.
Photos courtesy of WENN
I never have. I always been a pretty clear boy liker. I never even made out with other girls for fun on college.
Me neither.
Although other people sometimes have questioned MY sexuality (based on clothing choices and such, no less), I’ve always been sexually attracted to men, no question. And OT, I’m fine with people being curious about my preferences, as long as they don’t become offensive in the way they ask/imply (why is it that the people who claim to be so open about gay and bi issues often end up being the ones who try to push labels in such a holier than thou manner?).
Anywho, yeah I think some people never actually feel any doubt about their sexual orientation: some just know they are straight, some just know they’re gay.
Me, neither. Sweeping generalizations are always stupid. Um, except for the one I just made.
@GNAT I just laughed so hard at this! And agree with you. I never questioned mine, either. Selena went a little overboard with that statement.
Well, I’m bisexual. Questioning my sexuality was pretty much the only thing my brain did during teen years, lol.
Me too! Being bi can bevery confusing. :-/
I feel for her becasue of the helath issues she has gone trough and I hope she will be fine.
Having said that, I can not stand her. Talentless girl who has a career because she’s pretty and dated and befriended people much more famous. And how long is she going to milk the body shaming comments? You got called fat, get over it, Jesus. People who are actually fat deal with much worse things all day every day.
And sexuality is a spectrum, and believe it or not, some people do fall on the polar ends of it.
Totally agree about the spectrum. My sister is a psychologist specializing in sexuality and she has lectured me many times about the full spectrum. She has also acknowledged that many people land on polar ends without question, like myself. No way is a better way IMO. Questioning is great and not questioning is fine too. I never questioned at all I am a man lover through and through.
Adding to my comment I can imagine being in a space of truly questioning must be incredibly difficult. I wanted to acknowledge that along with me simply saying I never had to question.
Yup, it sure is a spectrum so I also don’t think everyone questions it. Those on the polar ends just don’t. Just as I have always only had heater attractions and relationships, my gay best friend is on the very opposite end. One of our other friends really struggled somewhere in the middle for years and it was really, really hard for him.
^^^
+100
To be fair, I don’t think being on the polar ends of the spectrum precludes one from questioning their sexuality. Just because you think about it or wonder if there’s a possibility of something else within yourself doesn’t mean that there is.
I have a friend whom I have jokingly referred to as “the straightest person I know” and even she has very mildly questioned her sexuality when she was young and in a very queer friendly environment where she was essentially a minority as a straight person. But by that I mean she really deeply questioned whether her straightness was innate and absolute not that she necessarily was attracted to or had any form of intimacy with other women.
On the other end of things, I know many gay and lesbian people who are very much a Kinsey 6 who still went through a period of questioning because it is often so ingrained in us that heterosexuality is the default.
I’m certainly not saying EVERYONE has questioned their sexuality, but I think it’s a lot more common than we may think and I absolutely don’t think it only applies to people who have queer identities or experiences.
I want her clothes. All of them. And her hair.
She’s a doll and she sounds pretty put together for a young lady in the spotlight.
I love her.
She’s mediocre. Changing her image won’t change that fact.
not as mediocre as you
Don’t care for broad statements, let alone made by people who have no idea what they’re talking about. I have never, ever questioned my sexuality – not for a second. There is nothing wrong with any person’s choices or preferences, but it’s really dumb to think you know what everybody is thinking or that because you’ve questioned something, everyone else must too. Not true at all.
Yeah, I guess sweeping statements are always risky but social acceptance of the sexuality spectrum is still so fledgling that teen role models need to continue reaffirming that it’s okay to be who you are. Better to err on the side of too inclusive.
Well said. 👌👌
If she’d said “most people have questioned their own sexuality at one point or other” I wouldn’t comment, but to say “absolutely” “everyone” has done it? No, that’s BS, sorry.
I’ve always thought it would be interesting to have everything I said over the course of a day – or in a meeting – dissected for public consumption. I’m sure we’re all guilty of using a bit of hyperbole in conversation. We put celebrities in a place where they have to carefully consider EVERYTHING they say, then we get annoyed when they’re robotic and “not real.”
I agree with you Amy.
“I’m sure we’re all guilty of using a bit of hyperbole in conversation.”
Good point—I use it constantly in real life. I didn’t think Selena was an idiot for her comments, and maybe she didn’t even mean them literally… but there are many people who do make the claim that no one is 100% straight or gay, and it annoys the sh*t out of me. Josh Hutcherson said a few years ago that he thinks “defining yourself as 100% anything is kind of near-sighted and close-minded.” People are of course entitled to that opinion, but to me when they make that claim *they’re* the ones being “close-minded”.
I doubt that it’s “most people”. Mother Nature wants babies and body chemistry kicks in very very early. People who are naturally attracted to the same sex or both sexes are likely to have doubts only because of cultural pressures to be otherwise. Just enjoying the company of someone of the same sex really isn’t the same thing. There are circumstances under which, usually due to lack of the other sex or weird ideas about the other sex being inferior, people will form sexual relationships with the same sex even though otherwise they wouldn’t. But other mammals do the same thing (like cats!). That really isn’t the same thing as true biochemical attraction to the same or other sex.
Anyway, in another time, I doubt that Selena would even think about it. She thinks everybody questions their sexuality because people around her are questioning everybody else’s sexuality… Which also is a very different (and annoying) phenomenon.
The only reason I ever questioned my sexuality is because I’m not “the average girl”. I don’t like things that are pushed as “feminine” and “what girls like”. I tend to like things that are supposed to be “masculine”. I’ve never been sexually attracted to women. But due to societal pressures and tropes of “this is what a girl is/does/likes”, and standing apart from that, I have questioned whether or not I was a lesbian. I still haven’t fully come to terms with the fact that I’m not “girly”, but having thought it through I know that I am 100% attracted to males.
In terms of Selena’s blanket statement, it got me bristle-y too at first but then I thought about my own experience with that question and so I don’t have a problem with Selena’s statement. I would guess most people question their sexuality at some point if only to make it clear what they are sexually attracted to (even if they are 100% straight). Selena probably should have said “most people” though, instead of “everyone”. Or just framed her statement in a different way.
I don’t think there’s such a thing as an “average girl” or “average boy” and the social narrative that attempts to convince us otherwise is big part of why everybody can be pretty miserable about gender. I mean, I identify as female, but if I’m honest with myself, androgynous would be accurate a fair bit of the time, too. My gender is always secondary to who I am, and I’m only made more aware of it by society’s suggestion that my female-ness is “otherness.” (Not disagreeing with, just tacking on to the statement of your frustration over the issue.)
While I don’t think everybody has a life crisis about who they want to sex, I do think sexuality is always a choice, regardless if it’s subconscious or otherwise. We may not meander over the issue of, “Am I really attracted to so and so gender?” but we certainly make the active choice to pursue what we consider attractive. That’s why I get a bit irked by the way we define sexual orientation. There always seems to be an underlying implication that homosexuality requires *consideration* while heterosexuality is more natural and fluid. Both require a cognitive acknowledgement of, “This is who/what I want or not want to f*ck.”
I disagree with blanket statements like these. NOT every person has questioned there sexuality. Perhaps many have. But I still believe many do not. I know that bisexuality, homosexuality and transgender discussions have brought a lot of issues about sexuality to light, but there is still such a thing as plain ol’ straight.
Bingo. I have never been attracted to a woman in my life, not even in fantasies. LOL And one of my closest friends is a bisexual and is stunning with stunning girlfriends, whether gay or bi. Zero interest. She’s like a little sister to me.. She and I were out to lunch and went into a hair salon and when we walked out she was talking about the gay salon owner. In all that time I never knew she was gay. I asked how she knew and she said you get a vibe and they were checking each other out. I told her, I wonder if she thinks I’m gay because I’m with you. She laughed and said, no. She said, you give off zero vibe and just don’t look at women in that way. I don’t.
And is that supposed to negate all the gay men or lesbians who have tried to explain to their parents since young how they just aren’t wired that way and have never been attracted to the opposite sex and to please accept them the way they are?
.
The broad spectrum means just that, broad in relation to where everybody falls, not like she says,the blanket statement that everybody has questioned their sexual orientation. She should have phrased it to be many question it at one time or another or experiment.
I find all these young “starlets” and their sweeping generalizations plain old silly. She thinks she’s so wise, but she’s just a young’un!
She’s young and thinks she knows more about life than she actually does. We’ve all been young and kind of dumb and assumed we knew it all. Her blanket statement, I believe, shows that she’s in that phase now.
I’ve never questioned my sexuality or kissed another woman or anything like that. I can fully appreciate a woman as being attractive or having a great body without there being any sexual attraction there. I think this is where people begin assuming things because they assume that if you find someone attractive, it means you’re sexually attracted to them. There’s a difference.
My take on Selena is that she has some mental issues she needs to work out, probably out of the limelight. This has nothing to do with her sexuality. I’m basing my opinion on the fact that she spends a lot of time talking about how she thinks the world wants her to fail and that people want to bring her down. It’s a little bizarre.
“I think this is where people begin assuming things because they assume that if you find someone attractive, it means you’re sexually attracted to them. There’s a difference.”
Good point. I find roses attractive, yet I’ve never wanted to get busy with one.
It’s likely a tad overstated, but I agree that sexuality is far less rigid than we account for. Our sexual definitions are very confining. Sometimes sexuality is a sImple matter and other times it can be a combination of emotional and environmental factors. I had a close friend confide in me several years ago that he developed an intense infatuation with a male professor despite being a happily married and never having been involved in a homosexual relationship. He couldn’t explain it – he just fell in love, accepted it, and moved on. I wish our society allowed more people to be as relaxed about those situations as he was.
I think the sexuality comment is for millennials and later. Idk what ages the other commenters are here but I can assure you that all millennials etc question sexuality or try experiment more if nothing else because is the cool thing to do. That wasn’t something so prominent with older generations
You may be right. My mums generation probably wouldn’t say they have questioned it. But I find most of my friends would say so. Personally it’s surprising to me that so many here are saying they never ever questioned it. It’s not my experience with my friends.
Yup totally agree, same here. Think older generations and depending where you are from were pretty much straight without a doubt and wouldn’t even want admit if they had ” gay thoughts” because being gay wasn’t right those times. Lets face it its only been in the past decade that people have been more accepting with being gay , bisexual etc and that’s mostly because of new generations that are exploring more
There was a recent study which found that 60% of women had been attracted to women at some point in their life.
Also think how common homosexuality is in prisons amongst people who consider themselves straight. It’s definetly more complicated than a lot of people would like to admit imo.
@Ali…I agree. I think it’s more complicated than the “born this way” or “sexuality is like having blue eyes” narrative that have been drilled into people’s head. I think there is a spectrum and that it can change or not. But I do understand that in order to garner world wide acceptance, LGBT activists had to push really hard with a narrative that is not totally correct imho.
Ali – being attracted to someone is different than questioning your sexuality. People can be attrated to anyone whether it’s their looks or their personality or their unusual ways, etc.. I think being attracted to anything that is beautiful or intriguing is quite normal but that doesn’t necessarily mean you’re also sexually attracted to them. I mean, I think there are lots of women that are just unbelievably gorgeous but the thought of going downtown is just all around yucky to me, LOL!
Texasgirl: I know what you are saying. You should read the study though. It doesn’t define attraction as finding someone pretty, attractive just. There are certainly men I find pretty but I am not really sexually attracted to them too. Harry styles for instance is pretty in a non sexual way but Jason momoa is smoking hot. I do know what the difference is. 😜
I guess Selena made too much of a blanket statement although I doubt she meant for it to be taken entirely at face value.
This study did find that a much larger %admitted same sex attraction when awarded anonymity.
I always wondered how previously straight people have same sex relationships, even love affairs in places like prison.
I am sure some of them thought like you at some point. It does seem to say that our sexuality are to some extent shaped by our environment.
Of course there does exists totally straight and totally gay people, people whom have never questioned themselves.
Nope it’s not all millennials. I’m a millennial and I’ve never questioned my sexuality or experimented. And I know a few of my friends have said the same thing. Some people just know.
I’d say a larger part of it is socialization and cultural narrative. A significant portion of Occidental cultural history was influenced by the dominance of the Christian faith, which declared homosexuality a sin, as well as presented some very rigid gender roles. If you look at the history of cultures where pan/bi/homosexual behaviors were more acceptable (or even just, y’know, nature), definitions of sexuality are a lot less restrictive. I’ve no doubt millennials have the advantage of being in a more globalized, progressive era, but I don’t think that’s necessarily them as individuals so much as the shift in social narrative. When society isn’t demanding strict definitions of gender and sex, the mind is more open to opportunity and consideration.
I have never questioned my sexuality and I am getting up there in age. But I was raised in the sixties and things were different at that time.
I have definetly. I am pretty straight but there are some women I have wondered about. I think it’s natural. Most of my friends say the same.
The hubris of these celebrities never ceases to amuse. No, that’s never been a matter for debate in my own experience.
I have always been boy crazy – having crushes, kissing boys on the playground, etc. – since I was little. And now, as an adult who is settled with who I am, I can recognize that I have no interest in doing anything actually sexual with a woman. The only time I questioned was when I was just becoming sexually aware, early teens. I was learning what gay and lesbian meant, and trying to process the really intense relationships I had with girlfriends at that time.
Nope, not me! LOL. I’ve been boy crazy since Timothy Spencer in elementary school. He was so cute.
Yes blanket statements are always bad, without exception. 😉
I’m honestly surprised so many people have so much to say about her comment! I think she was just using a little hyperbole. No big deal.
I find it odd that outlets haven’t more abundantly seen how she’s used Beiber repeatedly for relevance. Seriously, you haven’t seen her blatantly be papped in his company like clock work prior to a project she’s promoting? Then turn around and cry victim and poor me as soon as it’s to her advantage. Puleeezeee! Hat Beiber all you want but don’t be dumb enough to think this chic hasn’t milked it hard and then coasted of this site and others giving her sympathy and blaming Beiber for being a bad influence. Make zero mistakes, this girl did/does lots of drugs. She’s no angel and woudnt be where she is if not for dating Beiber. She knows it. Why does this site kiss her tail so blatantly?
she was famous long before and after bieber. ur an idiot
I agree, if she’s dating bieber, she’s no angel. P!us her recent weight gain shows that she’s been doing stuff to stay skinny. I always thought she was too skinny for her facial structure, ya know what I mean? I think she was doing drugs to stay that skinny, and now she’s cutting back or quit, so she’s gained weight and going to her natural body type.
Questioned a lot of things, but never my sexuality. Just because you have doesn’t mean everyone has. She seems naive.