I’m still sort of surprised by how little time Justin Theroux and his “wifey” Jennifer Aniston spend together. It seems they’re constantly in different cities, for work and for pleasure. I’m sure they fly in to see each other some weekends here and there, but this definitely seems like one of those marriages which thrives on “time spent apart.” Star Magazine’s sources are claiming something similar: that Justin and Jennifer are “careful not to spend too much time together.” Also: naked dinners and separate bedrooms. For some reason, an image of John Travolta just popped into my head.
Jennifer Aniston and Justin Theroux were pros at being engaged (their betrothal lasted three years!), but three months after their top-secret backyard Bel-Air, Calif., wedding, the loved-up A-listers are experiencing a slightly awkward honeymoon phase. Jen, 46, had a “state of marriage” dish session with her closest pals, and insiders report that while she’s adapting well to married life, some of her marital methods are as peculiar as Hollywood itself.
Jen and Justin are giving truth to the newlywed cliché. “She says their sex life is off the charts and that Justin is very adventurous. Their new thing is eating dinner in the nude!” says an insider.
But while the newlyweds are joined at the hip in spirit, an insider reveals that what keeps their spark alive is plenty of time apart!
“There’s no doubt they love each other and really are best friends, but they’re careful not to spend too much time together,” says the friend, who adds that they’re rarely together for more than four hours on a given day. “They just enjoy their own space too much. They actually get along better when they’re on separate coasts. They flirt by text and love to send each other pictures of their wedding rings,” adds the tipster.
Even when they’re in the same house, the source says, they typically retire to separate bedrooms.
“Justin likes to read in bed, watch TV, browse the Internet and send emails—often all at the same time,” says the pal. “He drives Jen nuts when she’s trying to get some sleep.”
The bedroom arrangement was likely the suggestion of Jen’s marriage counselor, whom friends say she keeps on retainer—and on call—for $5,000 a month.
“Jen asks for advice on all aspects of the relationship,” says a pal. “She knows she has a tendency to be controlling, and having finally gotten Justin to the altar, she doesn’t want to drive him away.”
I totally believe some of this. I believe Jennifer probably has a marriage counselor or some kind of relationship therapist on retainer. It was widely believed that Justin and Jennifer were even going to relationship counseling before they even got engaged. I also believe that they live largely separate lives, with separate spaces, even spending the bulk of their time in separate cities, because there’s enough hard evidence to suggest that’s the truth. As for separate bedrooms… hm. Some happily married couples swear by separate bedrooms and quite honestly, if your partner has annoying bedroom habits and you have a second bedroom, why not? But overall, it does seem like Justin and Jennifer have a non-traditional marriage, right?
Photos courtesy of WENN.
I don’t really believe anything from Star, but its clear that they do spend lots of time apart from each other. If that works for them then great, definitely not how I would want my married life to be though.
Everyone is different. In my life, I firmly believe that separate bedrooms for couples is the best way to go if you have the means. It means he has his own space and I have mine. It means sex and attraction is lively instead of tedious. You never have to feel like you cannot have alone time. That doesn’t mean we do not sleep together most nights. I agree with Jen. I sometimes need to sleep alone to get good sleep. Still the sex is 4 + times a week. It’s the best
Not odd to me.
Me and my boyfriend, (when we get married), are hoping to afford a place where we can also have our own space in our home .
Fits our moody passionate personas.
Paul McCartney said he and Linda worked in their very long union, because they were together constantly, which sounds like a nightmare to me!!
On the other hand, Charlton Heston famously said the secret to his 50+ year marriage was ‘separate bathrooms’.
Different strokes for different folks.
This is me and my BF. I still think ideally, we’d live in adjoining apartments that connect with a footbridge. lol
Too much? Well, we’re both super-independent and enjoy our space. Also, when he stays over the cats (well really only the boy, my girl kitty is amazing) drive him batty while he’s trying to sleep. Meanwhile, it’s hard for me to sleep if I don’t have at least one cat in the bed. We also have different sleep patterns: I sleep like crap, tend to go to bed early and wake up early whereas he generally sleeps like a log, goes to bed late and wakes up late.
I see nothing wrong with having separate beds or separate bedrooms personally.
@Kitten –
Gurl, It scares me how symaptico we are sometimes
(You’re more liberal politically than I am though!!)
If I could tolerate Boston, I would dump my boyf and move my self from Notting Hill to fly over the Atlantic and bunk with ya.
This is why my boyfriend and I don’t live together
same way. and lilac, the bf and I USED to live together (like 7+ years) and now we don’t and it’s SO MUCH BETTER. I need my own space!
I’m with you Kitten. Beds are made for having fun, cuddling and then the real bed is made for sleeping. I have never needed the 24/7 attention that some of my friends do. After 16 years, we have it down. I don’t want him far away, like on another coast, but wouldn’t have a problem if he wanted to go away with his buds for a weekend. Love is better the second time around Jennifer….but don’t tell my hubby or I might have to hurt him. Lol……………
My husband and I sleep in the same bed, but I would understand if he wanted a separate bedroom. I wake up for about 1-2 hours in the middle of the night and look at my iPad, I toss and turn, talk in my sleep, get up at least once to go to the bathroom, sometimes more and I’m a cover hog. He just sleeps through it, but I would understand if he wanted his own room.
We should all live in duplexes with our spouses
@Lilacflowers- Us too.
Yes duplexes for all of us!
My husband and I sleep in separate beds. He’s a cuddler as well as a frickin’ human radiator and I CANNOT sleep if I’m hot. It works for him too since I’m a tooth grinder when I’m stressed and I tend to shift a lot in my sleep. Twelve years and going strong.
I Choose Me, you made me laugh with “human radiator”. I refer to the BF as “my heat pod”. he’s the same way!
I only probably sleep in the same bed with my husband about once a week. I have to have my own space. Sleep is so important and I don’t see the point in having sleepless nights because of the idea that married people should share the same bed.
I completely agree. There is nothing worse for a marriage, in my experience, than terrible sleep deprivation because of a partner’s bad (or different) sleep habits. You have to figure out whatever balance makes you healthy as an individual and as a couple, which can be tricky.
Agree Bree: My husband is an attorney…..I only practice law now to assist him, but a good nights sleep is essential for both of us. Sleep is the ultimate escape, it refreshes you and gives you energy and feels good….lol. My poor twinie sister is an insomniac. She gets about four hours a night which would make me such a horrible person. I feel sick when I don’t get at least seven. Here’s to a good night sleep ladies, zzzzzzzzzzz Nytol 🙂
@BRE-Sleep is everything. When I have a bad night’s sleep I’m a different person.
@not cynical -“It’s NOT normal, and we all know that.”
LOL Yes we’re all “Aniston fans” and we’re all here to listen to you decide what’s “normal” for us.
@not cynical: This is hardly a JA situation. This is any party of two that wants to sleep well. My friends with their own space are much happier than the others. No man snoring, fidgeting, etc. Doesn’t take away from intimacy whatsoever, it enhances it. @Kitten: 100. It’s like the Betty White commercial before and after she eats the candy bar. Man, no sleep I am a zombie. Sleep is our friend
@not cynical
You’re so silly. Nobody’s a big Anniston fan that I know of on this thread, and nobody’s trying to make anything sound “normal.” People are just relating their own experiences. Is that alright with you? Why are the people who dislike Anniston so, so childish and lacking in insight? Our worlds don’t revolve around our feelings for a celebrity, good or bad. I’m sorry yours does. THAT’S not normal.
And for your information, many, many people sleep in separate bedrooms for practical reasons. It’s not my choice, but it’s entirely normal. It doesn’t mean you don’t love be each other. Grow up.
@GoodNamesAllTaken:
I didn’t mean to ruffle so many “feathers”, but, I don’t know anyone that prefers to sleep in another room away from their spouse.
I take that back, my grandparents starting sleeping in separate bedrooms not too long ago, so maybe for the elderly it’s common practice.
@not cynical I’m sure you know couples that don’t share a bedroom, they just don’t tell you. There is nothing wrong with it, it doesn’t mean I don’t love my husband any less. I just need sleep and I have Rheumatoid Arthritis so sleeping comfortably is quite hard for me.
Yeah, that would be my ideal as well. Separate sleeping areas (and – God forgive me, I agree with Chuck Heston on something – separate bathrooms). You visit one person’s room or the others for funtimes. The transcontinental part I would find tiring, but I guess celebrities are on planes all the time anyway.
My parents recently discovered the joy of separate bedrooms and I have to say I’m envious. I see no reason to sacrifice good sleep if you don’t have to. Alas that doesn’t seem to be in the cards for my anytime soon.
Mine too, a few years ago. My dad snores like a chainsaw, and I’m pretty sure the separate bedrooms has kept my mom from murdering him in his sleep.
I honestly don’t know how my mom kept from murdering my dad for all those years. He snores so bad, and falls asleep real quick to boot. The better to start snoring and piss everyone off! As a kid, whenever I had to share a hotel room or a tent with him I was sorely tempted. Earplugs only get you so far.
Who gets to decide what’s traditional? I find that couples that are constantly together because 1 is insecure and the other typically feels smothered. Allowing a lot of space calls for trust and healthy self esteem so good for them!
I agree. I think it’s a balance though. It’s easy for my BF and I to spend too much time apart and that’s when trouble arises: too much distance can be as problematic as too much clinginess. But I absolutely agree with what you say about trust and self-esteem being required. I also could never be in a relationship with a stage five clinger. I love having time with my friends and time alone–it makes me a better person to be in a relationship with.
Each to his own. A friend of mine and her husband do EVERYTHING together, it’s actually quite nauseating. But they love it and that’s just their thing. If my husband and I spent that much time together we’d kill each other. We try to find a balance, too much time apart is bad because then you feel detached, but too much togetherness makes me stabby.
Damn even her husband doesn’t want to wake up next to her. Ok, that was kind of mean but oh well.
Seperate bathrooms yes, separate bedrooms? What are they roommates?
Pretty much. I think they both have fairly low sex drives. Just a hunch. His skinny jeans have cut off circulation. Bahaha. No, ever since I heard he likes Jean shopping, and his best pal was Amy Sedaris (which made him more likable actually) I immediately knew he was no p-hound. Plus the 14 yr relationship he had. Not saying sex/intimacy is the most important thing in the world, but obviously, sex/intimacy (with ea. other) is not all that important to them. Oddly enough I’ve often thought most of her relationships are more like frat bros rooming.
I have a friend who’s going through a very long divorce at the moment. She told me that she and her ex went through counselling and the first thing that was asked was, are you sharing a bedroom? If not, how long have you’ve been sleeping separately? Apparently, sleeping separately isn’t a good idea for a strong marriage.
My parents often sleep in separate bedrooms. Should I tell them that they probably won’t make it to their 50th anniversary?
No offense to your friend, but I have a feeling her marital problems run deeper than that.
For real. My grandparents slept separately for years, as they both snored like buzz saws. They were as madly in love for their 50th as they were when they got married.
That’s putting it lightly. Their dysfunction runs deep. Hence the divorce.
My husbands grandparents had separate bedrooms as well and were married for well over 50 years. I don’t think having separate bedrooms is the kiss of death for a relationship. I think everyone needs to have their own space to retreat too.
my parents also just celebrated 50, and they realized a long time back that if you’re not sleeping, you’re not happy and your relationship can suffer. They are on/off in one bedroom and separate rooms. one snores like a bear, one is a light sleeper. one goes to bed early, one like to watch TV until a little later.
works for them, too.
Mine too. They adore it and I think it’s the thing KEEPING them together quite honestly. My dad snores and rolls about all night and makes it generally impossible for anyone else in the room to get any sleep. They recently decided to try separate rooms, and they love it. It’s funny they waited so long because it just “wasn’t done” and it honestly didn’t occur to them that you could do that.
My parents have slept in the same room for their entire marriage, but you know what? I don’t think that has a thing to do with their happiness. Sleeping in separate bedrooms used to be the standard practice for couples who could afford it. This insistence on sharing a bedroom is fairly recent. Maybe the last 50 years? Who cares? If you can’t sleep, you can’t sleep. I adore my husband, and we share a room because we want to, but I sleep very poorly. When he’s out of town, I miss him, but it’s a little bit of a relief to be able to turn the light on and read at 3:30 a.m. When I can’t sleep without feeling that I’m disturbing him.
I work in a retirement community with people who’ve been married over sixty year and sleep in separate bed. Sometimes separate rooms.
I had to laugh at the “They actually get along better when they’re on separate coasts” line..you could say that about a lot of couples but not normally about many newlyweds. Hey ho, each to their own n all that….
If it works for them, who cares. To me, their relationship always seemed odd, but who am I to judge
Separate bedrooms? But, of course! We’ve been married for 28 years and as soon as the nest emptied for good (i.e., kids living in their own adult homes) we took separate bedrooms. It is great! As I don’t wish to overshare I won’t state the obvious (okay, I will, the obvious is what the heck does always sleeping in the same room/bed have to do with your sex life?). I’m also a big believer in separate vacations if you can swing it on top of regular together vacations. My observation is this – many, many of the couples I’ve seen divorce over the past 10 years (yes, seems to be empty nest time is a common time to split) were those joined at the hip, so happy in love type that made you simultaneously jealous and want to puke. If you have the resources got for it – it might actually make for a happier/stronger marriage contrary to the received wisdom.
I always realize how much I like hanging out with my husband when I take a solo trip! I agree, it’s a great thing to do if you can afford it.
I have my own bedroom and bathroom. I sleep with my husband in our master suite, and shower in there as well so I’m not having to clean all three bathrooms fully. My husband also is gone a lot, maybe 30-40% of the time. Being committed to family and personally introspective is the key.
It works for us. Can’t paint every relationship with the same brush.
Good for her. They look happy. Always been team Angie but Jen is really aging gracefully and I like that she doesn’t seem to need children (( for now)) and got over her divorce that just had to be painful as the media rubbed it in her face (although she had a part and capitalized it in interviews since it was always brought up). Sleeping in separate beds and sex are different and after a passionate 25 years of 49 years together since I met my husband at 19 we sleep together or one or the other will feel free to move to other bedroom when it will assist in a better nights sleep. This seems more like they trust each other and have the others back vs some kind of issue.
My husband and I do share a bedroom, but we frequently take nights apart, and one of us crashes in the spare room or on the couch. I think it’s fun. Like vacation or something. I love the man, but we spend a lot of time together.
Naked dinners seems really unappetizing to me
Agreed.
Yeah. I’m no prude, but there is a time and a place for being nude (the sauna, the locker room showers, etc). Eating dinner is neither the time nor the place. That just seems…unnecessary.
I can’t imagine that it looks very good either – being hunched over the table, chewing, belly extending. Do I put a towel on my chair first? And another across my lap?
And here I go, picturing my SO carving turkey in the nude. No, no…
Yes, it’s really pretty silly. I mean, maybe I’m imagining it wrong, but it just seems so try hard and ridiculous to me.
GoodNames – yep, you nailed it.
They married later in life and I believe that can translate into designing a marriage that suits your individual personalities. I married young, and did all the traditional coupled-up things. We then divorced (not because of our traditional marriage habits) and now, at 40, I am arranging my life with my beloved very differently, because I know my preferences.
Also, Jennifer was on her own for awhile. She may not savor the idea of being attached at the hip.
I like that they do their thing.
Yup – I’ve been living on my own for a long time now, and should I find someone, I would definitely still need my space.
Definitely it’s a to each their own situation. I have friends that do EVERYTHING with their SO, and others who are married but live most of the time in separate states due to work. Whatever works for you, go for it.
Absolutely! Some couples I know do everything together and (as far as I can tell), that suits them. Others do stuff separately, including something as important as getting a good night’s sleep, and that suits them. The trick is to know what works for you as an individual and work that into the relationship so both parties are getting what they need and don’t feel smothered/neglected.
Eating dinner in the nude. I’m not sure what to think of this. Nude….good. Food….good. But are they just sitting there eating naked? Are they doing anything fun while eating naked? Huh.
Plus I’d, like, want a napkin or something. I mean, I appreciate some fabric between my hot dinner and my naked flesh.
I know right?
If it works for them, then go for it. I would LOVE the luxury of my own room. My husband and I have completely different sleeping habits and we both work from home, and although I love the beans out of the man, I really think our already great marriage would just be enhanced by more space. He doesn’t see it that way, thinks it’s too weird.
**sigh** Some day…
So does mine. I need isolation pod levels of inertia in order to stay asleep and my animated husband is too much stimulation. Sometimes we do the medieval thing and pass out around 830 with the kids then wake up and hang out for an hour at three am when the kids are comatose.
Hahahaha I love your isolation pod metaphor. My ex referred to my bedroom as a “sensory deprivation chamber” and he was right! I love it black and silent. Ahhhhh!
It’s not much of a marriage, is it? It seems more like a business deal.
It sounds like they are two buddies who like the occasional bang (maybe together), but mostly got married for PR/career purposes. I don’t know why they didn’t go the Goldie Hawn/Kurt Russell route and just stayed in a boyfriend/girlfriend situation. Why bother getting married. And we only have to look at Tim Burton and Helena BC and their odd living situation to see how this type of ‘unique’ living/relationship situation lasts.
Separate bedrooms are the only way to fly! My ex-boyfriend snored so loudly, I ended up sleeping on the couch most of the time.
Wealthy people around the turn of the century, like Rockefeller, Astor, J.P. Morgan, etc., all were married, all had children and ALL had separate bedrooms. At least it keeps you from pretending to have a headache when you’re not in the mood!
I thought this was interesting enough to weigh in.
Justin and Jen’s marriage does not sound like a very happy one, but it does sound happy enough. Before being in a good relationship and settling down I would have thought this was ideal, but once I found the right person that I actually wanted to spend time with day in and day out my opinion has changed.
On the separate bedrooms thing, I will say that I think having two bedrooms is essential if you have different sleeping patterns, or snoring issues. We went through a period where my partner snored so loudly it kept me up for nights at a time. My solution was to set up one of our guest bedrooms as a bedroom for myself, and to keep the room inviting and ready, and to turn down the bed every night. We would go to bed together in the master as normal, and then if my partner would start snoring so loudly at least I had somewhere to go. Over time the snoring dissipated, and just merely having the option to escape somewhere quiet made me able to sleep well at night. We are saving up for a 2nd home, but I do not see us living separately between the two houses as I once might have fantasized about. It’s almost like my icy, stoic, loner heart has been melted! Oh no this post has brought about an identity crisis!
If I ever get married, I wouldn’t mind having my own bedroom, own bathroom, and definitely own bed. Just because you are married doesn’t mean you have to sleep in the same bed every night. I have slept alone my whole life, it would feel weird to me to share a bed lol. I don’t know, I guess it’s a personal choice.
Been married twice for long stretches. One husband snored and the other one was hairy. I have been single for a long, long time. I adore my pristine bedding and bathroom. No body hair in tub! I can sleep. My own snoring doesn’t wake me up! I love my single life, and would never think of cohabiting or marrying again. Marriage is a difficult and trying condition. I don’t like to cuddle when I am trying to sleep. I love a good book!
Everyone involved is too thirsty for me. Star Mag. Him & Her.
This is all Huvane has left? Boring Married Jen sleeping separately to her husband???
I can relate to most of this. Love my fiance to death. 3 yr engagement. Both travel with work a lot. Sleep together but have separate rooms for our clothes or if we want to focus or study.
Why does she look like John Hamm’s ex in that bottom photo of her hugging him and laughing? What’s her name… Jennifer Westfeldt? Very chin and cheek implanty and ‘toxed. So ‘toxed.
Why bother being with each other? Every time I see a story about these 2 its always detailing what little interest they have in each other. I can understand wanting to sleep separately but being unwilling to spend more than 4 hours a day with your significant other seems ridiculous. I don’t believe this at all.
this sounds legit…. and I just got my bf on board with this…. when I come in I go to the bedoom and watch homeland and he plays the game…. and do my own thing.
We thrive (can you believe we met online) because honestly he knows I am a free-spirit and that I love traveling and hate planning and routine…..
He knows it pays off in the bedroom and my affection and attention to him when i have my time to do my thing
This is pretty funny considering she and her management team position her as one of the “hottest” women in Hollywood. Yet, Also she made it sound like they were so mad for each other. Sound more like room mates to me.