Sandra Bullock has been uncharacteristically open with the press lately. I think she’s at the point where she realizes she may as well speak up because things aren’t going to change otherwise. Last month, she told BET that she has discussed racism and bias with her son Louis, five. In a new interview with Variety, as part of their cover story on the wage gap in Hollywood, Bullock explained that this issue is not just about money, it’s about how women are treated in Hollywood, in the media, and in general. She said that it really hit home for her about ten years ago, when she was working on a film she didn’t name, that she was being treated as less than because she was a woman. She described that experience in visceral, emotional terms as an awakening. I would have liked to have read more context for some of her quotes because I think they were part of a conversation. Variety calls this “the full story,” which suggests that the print magazine has this same version of the article and we’ll have to draw our own conclusions. Here’s more:
It’s a bigger issue than money. I know we’re focused on the money part right now. That’s just a byproduct. I keep saying, “Why is it that no one is standing up and saying you can’t say that about a woman?” We’re mocked and judged in the media and articles. Really, how men are described in articles versus women, there’s a big difference. I always make a joke: “Watch, we’re going to walk down the red carpet, I’m going to be asked about my dress and my hair while the man standing next to me will be asked about his performance and political issues.” Once we start shifting how we perceive women and stop thinking about them as “less than,” the pay disparity will take care of itself. There’s a much bigger issue at hand. I’m glad Hollywood got caught.
But Hollywood has always been at the forefront of pioneering a new road and a new movement. So it’s a blessing that they got caught, and there are a lot of outspoken, narcissistic actors like myself who are very happy to talk about the issue and keep it alive.
My mother basically raised me as, “Women can do everything men can do. Don’t get married. Blaze your own trail.” And I didn’t think others thought any differently. I always thought we are all equal, and we are. I was actually doing a film about 10 years ago, and I found myself yelling and being angry. And I was like, “What is happening to me?” I was literally fearful. And I realized, it’s because I’m female. It dawned on me. At that day and age, at that point in my career, it was the worst experience I ever had.
I was destroyed, because you can’t unsee something. Was I so naïve up to this point to actually think that I was on an equal level with everybody? It was the way I was being treated, because I was female, versus the way others were being treated. It took me a while. It took a year and a half, where I regrouped, and thought, “Okay, this is an isolated case.” I’ve had other subtle experiences, but nothing that blatant. It was a big eye opener, because it wasn’t just men on women. A lot if came from women as well. The blessing of that film was that it opened my eyes.
I was just happy to be working, so you take it, especially in this business. Only like 1 or 2 percent of us get to do this job. I’m not money oriented. I lucked into money most of the time. But money is the byproduct of everything. How do you explain to your son that the ERA hasn’t passed? I want him to think I’m the boss and women are equal, but I can’t really support that in the outside world. I hope in my lifetime, for him, everything is a level-playing field. We can hope.
I just love this quote: “There are a lot of outspoken, narcissistic actors like myself who are very happy to talk about the issue and keep it alive.” Checking Bullock’s IMDB, the film she worked on ten years ago where she experienced sexism may have been Crash or Loverboy, which I’ve never heard of. She also did Miss Congeniality 2 in 2005, but since she was the star she must have had more clout. Maybe my logic is flawed though, considering that gender inequality can permeate even the highest levels of power. That’s why we’re having this conversation. Even famous, rich celebrity women are paid less and treated with less respect than their male counterparts.
It’s been a very tough season at the box office, particularly for Oscar contenders. Sandra’s film Our Brand is Crisis was one of the biggest flops and brought in just $6 million on a $28 million budget. She still might get some awards nods, though.
Sandra is shown on a sketch on The Tonight Show on 10-29 and at the premiere of Our Brand is Crisis on 10-27. Credit: WENN.com and FameFlynet
Firstly, it’s important to remember that she’s been producing her own films, and others, for decades. She produced MISS CONGENIALITY 1 & 2. Her production company is called Fortis Films.
Coming from a producing POV, It’s important for someone in that position, outside of being a star/actor, to make this point. Producers have the most clout in the film making process and if she’s being treated differently specifically because she’s female, nevermind all the other issues, THAT is an important point to highlight. It shows how far we still have to go to remove the societal indoctrination that women are less than.
Having experienced blatant discrimination in the workplace because I was a female, I’m glad people speak up about this. It still goes on sadly and the fight has a long way to go!
x1000000! And I’m sorry to say that discrimination often comes from other women.
Sorry.
I’m giving a big old side-eye to women who have been around for decades and decades and just because of a hack, a young superstar (j-law) and other young actresses like Emma Watson trying to change the narrative for their generation, these old ‘girls,’ are only just now choosing to speak up.
What really stuck in my craw?
Someone who’s besties with the vile-ness that is Chelsea Handler, who’s racist and misogynistic…saying the shite that Bullock is now saying.
Really girl…do go on, about *how women are sometimes worse than men.*
Ha! Tell us something we don’t know. I’m sure Sandra has some personal firsthand knowledge of that, seeing as she’s close pals with Handler.
Where was Bullock not that long ago, when her close friend attacked Angelina Jolie, called her the c-word, a who*e, a terrible person, an evil person and basically tried to make of her a walking sexist stereotype and destroy her character in the press??
I’ll tell you. She was nowhere, she said and did nada.
In fact she supported Handler’s grossness.
As did others in the same PR stable (Paltrow) giggling with Handler while they threw a woman they didn’t even know under the bus.
So excuse me if I cast a ‘yeah, right,’ Bullock’s way when it’s taken 25+ years for her to say jackshi, and when she’s pals with one of the ugliest sexist racist people in show biz.
It does still go on, and it can be really disheartening. I’m from the younger, Kailey Couco I’ve-Never-Experienced-Sexism generation, and I have to say she must be pretty lucky to have avoided it because it damn sure still happens. If I’m out somewhere with a man– whether it be boyfriend, friend, brother, etc.– and another man approaches us to talk to us, 9 times out of 10 he speaks straight to the man I’m with without even acknowledging my existence. Even if I try to bring myself into the conversation, I’m ignored, interrupted, and/or talked over. I can sometimes keep a tally of how many times it happens in one sitting. I know that’s a very, very small thing, but I think it’s the little microagressions that show us just how far we still have to go.
It’s not a small thing. We should all be filled with outrage when things like what you described happen. We should call men out on it. They don’t care to assess their own behavior; we will have to do it for them. I’m tired of women being quiet and thinking things will get better. If we don’t become more radical they will not.
Ummmm…what reality do you live in? I am in my early 30s and have experienced sexism my entire career and it continues. To be fair, I work in a field that is heavily dominated by men (90-95% male).
In my experience, discrimination is rarely 100% blatant. it creeps up on you. and yeah, other women can be part of the problem but only because they were just as afraid for themselves and of rocking the boat. It sucks all around.
MP, when my female boss lavished praise on my male coworker for tasks I routinely complete (and often help him with) , my sense is not that she’s afraid to speak out against sexism but that’s probably how she was treated growing up with brothers and doesn’t know any better. Still irritating though.
+1
I encourage people to look at a website called everydaysexism (they also have a Twitter account) that has examples of the more insidious and subtle ways sexism still exists. We’ve come a long way, but there’s still a long way to go.
@hogtowngooner
thanks for the head up on that site.
the thing that bother me when reading gossip sites is how the majority of women posting don’t see how sexist they are themselves. How they fall into that male thinking. By attacking other women using the same stale quotes men use.. Never understanding that they are contributing to this. SMH at the lack of understanding.
Ageism is the one I’ve been experiencing recently at work. And it’s still quite acceptable. Sheesh, I can work most 25 year olds under the table. I know a lot of kids work hard, but many of them can’t be bothered to put their phones down, even at work.
First step is to stop addressing them in your mind as “kids”. I’m an older woman as well however this ageism thing goes both ways.
We often assume we have more knowledge because of years of experience when often our experience has become less relevant (scary yes, but a reality) with developing tech and in fact we are learning alongside the younger women. I think we know that and it makes us defensive too.
Comparing yourself to them is not going to help you but only wear you down emotionally.
When I read this story my mind went straight to ‘2 weeks notice’ and I can’t remember if by then Hugh Grant was the bigger star. I know she already did Speed 1 and 2 but Hugh was huge then.
Maybe this is the film she talks about? She said 10 years as in approximately a decade ago?
She’s a great role model. Hopefully her son, along with the next generation of young adults, will change the way women, people of all races, sexual orientation and different beliefs are perceived
She adores Hugh and loved working with him and they wanted to work together again. So it’s not Two Weeks Notice. I remember that time because I went to the movie surprised at how cute it was with some heart and had seen some of her interviews. Since their parts were pretty equal and it was a Rom-Com, where she is just as big a draw as he was for the movie, I can’t imagine her being treated poorly onset by a director and others. But you never know.
I didn’t get the impression it was coming from her costar, necessarily, but from producers/directors.
I love Two Weeks Notice. It is so sweet and smart and funny. One of my favorites, and I’ve watched about a dozen times. I love Sandra Bullock and when I read mean stuff about her ( mostly concerning her ex husband), it baffles me.
As far as the discrimination in Hollywood, and everywhere else for that matter, sometimes I wonder if men, even the “nice” ones, just don’t like women on some level. I hope my suspicions are incorrect, but the older I get, the less hope I have that this is true.
I’m on board with everything she said, except I think the red carpet example is a bad one that gets used over and over. I think a better example is the type of question men and women are asked in interviews, such as how do you reconcile being a mother with having a career (to women) vs. how extraordinary are you for changing diapers! (To men) I don’t have a problem with women being asked about their clothes on the red carpet because people want to know about them. Most of us will never wear a $20,000 gown, and it’s fun to hear about. The red carpet is hardly the place to get into someone’s philosophy about the Middle East peace process. Men’s clothes are less interesting and varied than women’s, generally speaking.
I want to see men in gowns! That would be fun. 😀
Ha!
they are also often paid to wear those dresses and then act like its sexist to ask them about it.
most actresses have fashion endorsements while most actors have none.
Yeah, I wish they’d let the red carpet thing go. I’d love to be draped in glorious fashions for one night on someone else’s dime, and I’d happily talk about it. However, if I were also regularly interviewed by media sources to promote films, I would be demanding about discussing my work projects and not my fashion choices.
The red carpet discussion mostly gets on my nerves, as in I understand why actresses are annoyed but at the same time I see so many actors/actresses – especially recently – give such bad and infuriating interviews that I really do want to make #askthemless happen. Seriously. They want to talk about important issues? They could just get a blog. But maybe not, if their Instagrams are any indication. The best example is Reese Witherspoon. She wants to be asked more? Uh, going into the lifestyle game is not the way to go. And neither is talking about being such an “underdog”. The red carpet is the ONE place where it’s perfectly fine to be superficial as f*ck. That’s its purpose.
Having said that, I rarely watch the red carpet interviews because they really are boring. Are men being asked better questions during these interviews? If so, that’s a shame. But it’s not really the place to start, is it? And if it is, actresses need to do their part. Maybe wear the same dress for the whole award season in protest. Like THAT’s going to happen.
The red carpet example is bad example is bad to the point that they should be asked because it is a free dress and they need to give them the press that being said the MEN SHOULD BE ASKED TOO!! The suits those actors wear are expensive and the work that goes into tailoring them is beyond time consuming and costly, they also don’t pay for them. It isn’t as interesting to the general public but they should be asked.
The award shows cost the fashion industry a fortune and both men and women should have to shill their wears. Also I don’t want to hear anyone’s political opinion on the red carpet just what they are wearing.
Yes, Good Names is right. And K, yes, the men should be asked too, and tailoring a suit is as hard (or harder) than making a gown.
I’d love to see more interesting fashions for men on the red carpet. I do consider fashion an art form, as well as a means of self-expression, so I don’t have an issue with discussing fashion, but there’s a time and place. The red carpet is definitely the time and place to focus on fashion, but it’s not okay to hold promotional interviews where male actors are asked notably different questions than actresses.
I agree.
Right? Wear a pair of jeans and a tshirt to the red carpet if you don’t want to be asked about clothes and jewels.
But it’s ‘Ask her more’, not ‘Don’t ask’. No one was campaigning for actresses to never be asked about what they’re wearing. But the bigger female stars often spend 2-3 minutes doing one red carpet interview, and every question is about their clothes, getting ready, their shoes, whether they wear Spanx, whether they dieted to get into the dress…
The guys just say they’re wearing Tom Ford or Armani, and then they get asked about their film, about working with a certain director, about a funny on-set story. Even when they show up wearing something unusual, it still only gets talked about for 30 seconds max.
Exactly! With very few exceptions, female stars spend most of their red carpet questions answering the same questions:
“Who are you wearing?”- the actress details the designer of her dress, shoes, and jewelry
“How long did it take you to get ready tonight?”- the actress talks about how many hours it took her to get ready
“Are you hungry? You must be.”- the actress talks about starving to fit in the dress
If the actress happens to be dating a man in the public eye, she will ALWAYS be asked about her boyfriend/husband (“Is this a date night for you?”), and if the actress happens to have young children, she will ALWAYS be asked where the children are/who is taking care of the children (“You just had a baby four months ago- is your son nearby?”)
Then if they happen to ask her any other questions, they are generally panning up and down her body with the camera (which Cate Blanchett called them out on), or cajoling the actress to put her hands in a “mani-cam” or go into the 360 degree camera box.
I’m so glad someone in her position is speaking up on this too, and she’s right that it’s about more than just the money.
I don’t know if it’s been mentioned here before, but read the tumblr “Sh!t people say to women directors”.
Why, oh why do I love this woman so MUCH!? She’s is such a great role model to my 27 years-old self. I know she has her faults like any other person, she is class personified. I never miss a chance to see her films and will most definitely see Our Brand is Crisis when it hits South African theatres.
We saw it yesterday & liked it. Don’t get why it was a flop here. We found it very relevant- we live in New Hampshire & are inundated with politics & candidates right now
My neighbors saw it. They said it wasn’t a great movie but that it was entertaining enough. They loved Sandy and Billy Bob in it. I will wait until the DVD.
Reviews were mixed to negative, and maybe a lot of people are burnt out on political stuff. The circus that is the GOP Presidential Pool is crazier than any film could be!
I think actresses need to be a little more realistic about the red carpet questions, the only reason anyone tunes in to watch the red carpet interviews is because they want to look at the pretty dresses and know what they’re wearing. And men don’t get that type of question because all suits pretty much look the same, no one really cares. There is a time and a place for philosofical/politcal deep questions, I don’t think that time and place is the red carpet.
I love to look at them on the red carpet. I actually don’t need them to be asked right there who they are wearing or their jewelry. That is written up in magazines what they are wearing the day after. I find it awkward when they ask them right there on the red carpet and just filling up space. I agree with her. And that mani-cam is insulting, I think.
This. Absolute laziness on the part of the ‘reporters’ not coming up with more interesting questions about the film or the performance or the source material or the production.
Yet it’s gone beyond laziness and ineptitude and schilling into intrusively personal rudeness now; I don’t know how far we are from crawling up there with a colonoscopy-cam following the mani-cam.
Yes. The fashion houses send out press releases as the stars are hitting the red carpet. It’s not like it’s a secret that can only be revealed by the celebrity.
Also, the people watching E!’s coverage aren’t the target market for any of the featured designers. That’s not the advertising they care about, that’s not why actresses get free dresses. Most of what they wear isn’t even available to buy at the point they’re wearing it.
plus actresses make crap tons of money from their fashion endorsements that men generally dont have.
Making them twirl is ridiculous. Having a shoe cam is ridiculous. Having that ring/bracelet cam was ridiculous.
As much as I appreciate the fashion, it is ridiculous to make them jump through the hoops to showcase it. We have models for that.
@LAK, I so agree. It’s gotten ridiculous on the red carpet with all that mess, the 360 degree cam or whatever it is, the mani-cam (are you kidding me), shoe cam.
I agree LAK.
I don’t understand why it has to be either/or. Yes the fashion is a big part of the red carpet and it’s great to ask about it and admire it, but it shouldn’t be ALL they are asked about it (hence the MORE part of the effort) and they shouldn’t been subjected to all that ridiculous crap E has been doing. It’s treating them like mannequins, rather than professional actors there for their work.
The men should though because it costs the men’s fashion brands just as much if not more to produce, tailor and deliver these clothes for the event. Yes they look the same but the $$$ the brand pays is huge and just like the women they deserve a return on their investment.
The red carpet is only watched for the fashion so ask everyone (equality) who they are wearing and if they are nominated if they are nervous and be done with it. Not that serious.
> The men should though because it costs the men’s fashion brands just as much if not more to produce, tailor and deliver these clothes for the event.
I think I can get behind that. Let’s ask men too. I like many of the suits I see.
Maybe men need to start wearing more interesting suits? Color, fellas, let’s see some color. Then it would be justifiable for them to be asked too.
It’s justifiable because they got a free suit, if a woman is asked and we feel she should be because it was free then men should be asked or start paying.
And DIFFERENT colors men, there was one year (and I can’t even remember what the award show was) I was so impressed by one actor because he wore a navy blue/royal blue suit and it looked amazing…and then somehow in some strange way 4 other men wore suits in the. exact. same. shade.
Color coordinate men! Women do it all the time, it’s time for you guys to step up!
“No, you can’t wear the green suit. I’m wearing the green suit…yes I know green looks better with your eyes.”
Make the phone call men!
@The Eternal Side-Eye: “Make the phone call men!”
Ha! Think you’ve just imagined a great new app.
I’m glad she is talking about the fact that there are bigger issues then just pay. While yes the pay thing is serious, I think the fact that women (actresses) are allowed to be verbally abused on set (see Amy Adams) and no one calls this out, or sexually harassed/assaulted and it’s all viewed as fine is a bit bigger issue.
We should be payed equally but Sandra is right once we aren’t viewed as people that are less and ok to be demeaned then the pay will equal out. We just have to demand equality in all areas, which is truly sad at this point.
I really cannot recall a time when a man was asked a political or philosophical question–unless it related to his project. I DO recall several being asked “Who made your suit?” and/or “What do you think of her dress?”
If a female actor is asked an uncomfortable or banal question, she should have the ability to deflect it and move along to something else.
Maybe the movie was Crash or Premonition. 10 years ago she filmed it not necessarily was released that year.
I’m thinking one of those movies also. It would probably be a darker movie, not her rom-coms where she’s the queen. Plus, she said around ten years ago.
I would guess Crash, where her role was not a key role and everyone was about equally important. That sounds like an experience when (a self-proclaimed) narcissist might first realise the world doesn’t revolve around her awesomeness over and above anyone else.
NOTE: I’m not criticising Bullock AT ALL. I think she’s pretty sensible, even for a narcissist, and I believe that she was treated differently because she was a woman, not because she wasn’t being treated like a star. I have a feeling Bullock likes to blend in with the crew, so I don’t think she was saying no one treated her special enough; clearly, there was something else going on on that set. So, my guess is Crash.
I do think women get treated differently and unfairly relegated to the background. It’s not just men who do this, but even women tend to listen more to men of a particular level than women at that same experience level. I’ve seen this even in my workplace which is mostly run by women and employs 70% women. Men, no matter how little time they’ve been with the company or how little actual experience they’ve had, are heard more and given more latitude than women. It’s BS.
I agree with everything she said. But I am reluctant to see fashion and fashion-related questions as a degradation of women. I love beautiful clothes, and I love to hear about beautiful clothes. On another token, I really don’t care about an actor’s personal political views, it’s irrelevant to me and I don’t look to them for any type of intellectual guidance. Anyway, Bullock forever. I love her.
I on the fence with her.. but regarding the fashion; if they didn’t care about the clothes why do they go to sooo much trouble having a stylist and getting all these amazing clothes for appearances. Sandra brings the fashion for promotion and RC. If it is so degrading then wear a simple outfit and talk about the work. But they don’t. They all have a stylist who works with them to get fashionable outfits. Then complain that someone is asking you about it.
When I wear a cute outfit to work I get asked about and complimented for it. I don’t get upset about it. RCs are for the superficial. When an actor goes to Q&A that is the time for serious questions.
I was raised the same way – as equal to men in every respect. I was completely oblivious to the fact that many others weren’t raised the same way, and their different reactions.
I think even now I often don’t understand what is going on, and why I am being treated with less respect, until after the fact.
At work, of course, I make sure I am treated with respect, if I ever encounter something like that, I demand it. I don’t back down or deflect the situation.
We are all professionals, doing the same thing, the gender is irrelevant.
In interaction with other people, outside of work, it happens more often and then you just have to decide whether that person is worth your time. Surprisingly, these people are often older women with “traditional” ways,
I find I am most often marginalized by men, usually men working for me in my home who aren’t comfortable with my word that they can do this or that without hearing it from my husband, even if he isn’t there, or who look at him when answering a question I asked, etc.. I haven’t had much problem with women, though I’m sure that happens.
Ugh that drives me nuts. I bought my house when I was 25, and did a lot of the work on it myself. One guy at Home Depot kept saying “when you get home tell your husband this, have your husband do that”and seemed taken aback when I said no husband, doing this myself. Same with a few guys who came over to give various estimates. Needless to say, those particular guys didn’t get hired.
I have experienced more discrimination from other women than I have from men, by far.
I have worked in mostly all men environments for most of my career, up until recently. The women were the ones who looked down on me and had the vile actions when I came in, the men did not. As I was the boss, I took care of the issues immediately but I was blown away by the sheer viciousness that I encountered, from the very first day.
I have experienced the issues with men, mostly in my non-work life. Going to buy a vehicle was a nightmare. I finally just left the hubby at home and found what I wanted. When he was with me, they would ignore me until he would tell them that I was the car person, talk to her. I found a great guy to deal with and I will only buy things from him now (we are both lovers of high end, exotic sports cars so it makes for a great visit).
The only way I can think of to stop this is to raise our kids, all of them not just the sons, to treat all of us as equal. I raised my daughter that way and my son is coming up that way as well. There will be no changing the minds of those set in their ways. We need to change the ways of the young coming up.
I agree with you. My workplace is 70%+ women and my immediate supervisor is a woman, but she listens to men who’ve been hired after me before she listens to me. She doesn’t take anything I say as serious enough to take action on unless it is a relationship problem. Any work-related project ideas or changes I want to implement, she completely ignore until someone else somewhere else proposes the idea instead. I’m not sure if she’s undermining me on purpose of if she just doesn’t see what she’s doing or how it’s coming across.
I’ve also had on-going problems with photography salesmen who completely ignore me while I wait patiently at the counter for someone to help me. I’ve watched as a salesman will finish with a customer on my right, then step right past me and help the guy on my left who just appeared 10 seconds ago, while I’d been standing there for at least 5 minutes. Of course I never take that lying down and say I was there first. And then I get a rude salesman who just wants to get rid of me as fast as he can because, obviously, as a woman, I don’t know anything and I’m not going to buy anything. I’ve boycotted a popular photo store in town because this experience was consistent over every visit in a 8 year period. It made me so angry, I figured it wasn’t worth the experience any more.
I also have this experience with tech guys trying to solve tech issues. It’s frustrating when they don’t actually listen to what you’re saying and offer super pat responses. I’ve often had to repeat my story 3-4 times before they start to pay attention to my actual words instead of assuming I have no idea what I’m talking about. Even more frustrating is finding out that the guy you’ve been trying to explain all this to actually doesn’t have a clue and knows less about what you’re talking about than you do.
The thing is, men bluster and fake how much they know, to the point that it manages to convince other people (especially women) that they are knowledgeable. My experience has often been, that when you start to scratch the surface, they’ll eventually confess that they barely read the manual or passed the course so they don’t actually know what they’re pretending to know.
Even my SO does this, so every time he starts a rant with, “I know what I’m talking about; I’ve been doing this a long time,” I know he’s overestimating how much he actually knows about it. Men think “experience” means thorough understanding and “I’ve seen it all” but women know that’s BS. Even 10 years of “experience” might be 10 years of a very selective slice of that activity and not a deep or complete experience of every aspect of it.
Until religion becomes less popular women will always be treated as inferior. All the mainstream religions say men are above women and that women brought evil to the world. Seriously, as long as people keep using these ancient books to guide their lives women will never be regarded as equal, if you’re religious then you are part of the problem by keeping these cultures going.
I’m a progressive Christian and I agree. Religion advocates and compounds sexism under the cover of so-called benevolent arguments like: ‘we all need to know our place and role’ and ‘women are weeker and need protection’, ‘this is for their own good’. But there are a lot of initiatives to fight sexism within the church. I think we need a better convergence of Christian and secular feminism so that the double standards can be put to bed once and for all. As for Sandra’s arguments, I have the same physical reaction to sexism. It turns my stomach and makes me want to yell.
I am 28 years old and recently moved across the country with my boyfriend. He was offered an incredible opportunity that we knew he couldn’t pass up.
I was very lucky that my employer – where I’ve been for 5+ years – allowed me to work remotely; it was very reassuring that I could be trusted enough to continue doing my job well without physically being in the office.
Another coworker of mine, who is a similar age, is in the same position and recently approached our (male) boss about her situation. His response? “Is it normal for girls to follow their boyfriends everywhere they go?”
How insulting! Is that all he thinks of us? “Followers?” Why can’t he see that we are at the age where decisions like this affect our lives as a whole?
I must know the name of her surgeon. She looks 33.