The first premiere of The Revenant was held last night in LA. ‘Tis the season for bear rape. Leonardo DiCaprio and Tom Hardy got all dressed up and walked the red carpet – together, for a moment, and then they walked separately. I think Leo made sure to get on the carpet early so every media outlet would get a few quotes from him, but it doesn’t look like Tom Hardy did the same. Speaking of Leo and quotes, an E! reporter asked Leo point-blank about the bear-rape stuff and Leo said, “I have no idea where these ridiculous stories came from, what you can do when you hear stuff like that?”

As for Tom and Leo… well, obviously, I know which one I would choose in a “Who would you rather?” battle. I think most sentient women would prefer a roll in the hay with The Bloke. But I’ll give Leo something: I like him this way, shilling for an Oscar, with a whiff of try-hard about him. He’s usually Too Cool For School, too busy trying to be Jack Nicholson. Seeing Leo’s try-hard vibe is the closest we’ll get to seeing him vulnerable. If you couldn’t tell, I’m enjoying Leo’s Oscar campaign. I hope it never ends. Both Leo and Tom were flying solo last night – no wives or girlfriends allowed on the red carpet for their Boy Drama In the Woods movie.

God, the Bloke looks great here, right? He claims he never punched Alejandro Inarritu. Do you believe him? I do not. I think Tom seems very grumpy about this film for good reason.

PS… We got a tip from a reader last week that Tom has a suspicious new tattoo reading “Marlow.” Our reader (thanks April!) thinks Marlow might be the name of Tom’s new baby. We still don’t know the sex of the baby, right? Marlow is a unisex name, but Sienna Miller named her daughter Marlowe and I feel like it’s a name that tilts more towards a girl’s name now.

Photos courtesy of WENN.