Charlie Carver is a 27 year-old actor on the long running MTV series, Teen Wolf, in which he plays a werewolf along with his twin brother, Max. (Just to clear things up both brothers appear as different brother werewolf characters on the show, which has a few different werewolves. I’m mentioning this as I’m not familiar with the show and have only seen the film versions with Michael J. Fox and Jason Bateman.)

Carver came out as gay in a series of Instagram posts, in which he included a photo of a message board with the words “Be Who You Needed When You Were Younger.” His message was a poignant one revealing the struggle he went through identifying as gay, explaining how he deliberated as to whether and how he should come out, and saying that he wanted to come out to help other young people, essentially. His words were thoughtful and touching. Here’s some of what he said, I’ve cut it down to some main points and you can read his full message on Instagram here: Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5.

On his inspirational quote
“Be who you needed when you were younger”. About a year ago, I saw this photo while casually scrolling through my Instagram one morning… It struck me for some reason.. over the course of about-a-year, it became clear why the inspirational photo had called out to me.

When he first realized he was gay
As a young boy, I knew I wanted to be an actor. I knew I wanted to be a lot of things! I thought I wanted to be a painter, a soccer player, a stegosaurus… But the acting thing stuck. It was around that age that I also knew, however abstractly, that I was different from some of the other boys in my grade.

Over time, this abstract “knowing” grew and articulated itself through a painful gestation marked by feelings of despair and alienation, ending in a climax of saying three words out loud: “I am gay”. I said them to myself at first, to see how they felt. They rang true, and I hated myself for them. I was twelve. It would take me a few years before I could repeat them to anyone else…

On coming out to his family
For me, and my family, it was a precious conversation, one where I felt that I’d begun to claim myself, my life, and what felt like the beginning of a very-adult-notion of my own Authenticity. For that, and for them, I am forever grateful… I recognize that I was born with an immense amount of privilege, growing up in a family where my orientation was celebrated and SAFE. If you feel like you want to Come Out, make sure first and foremost that you have a support system and will be safe.

On deciding to come out after finding success as an actor
The more I adjusted to living outwardly in this truth, the better I felt. But my relationship to my sexuality soon became more complicated. The acting thing HAD stuck, and at nineteen I started working in Hollywood. It was a dream come true, one I had been striving for since boyhood. But coupled with the overwhelming sense of excitement was an equally overwhelming feeling of dread- I would “have to” bisect myself into two halves, a public and private persona, the former vigilantly monitored, censored, and sterilized of anything that could reveal how I self-identified in the latter.

I had my reasons, some sound and some nonsensical. I do believe in a distinction between one’s professional life and their private one…

Why it took him a while to come out publicly
As an actor, I believed that my responsibility to the craft and the business was to remain benevolently neutral – I was a canvas, a chameleon, the next character.. If I Came Out, I feared I would be limiting myself to a type, to a perception with limits that I was not professionally comfortable with. And I created in my imagination an Industry that was just as rigid in this belief as well.

After having the privilege of playing a range of characters, gay, straight and otherwise, I realize this is not the case. Things in this business have changed and will continue to. Thank GOD. I know that because of all of the brave men and women who’ve come out, self-identified, or couldn’t have possibly ever been “In”. So to them, I am also forever grateful.

Why he’s coming out now
But what can I do? How can I participate? Honesty is probably a great step in the right direction. I now believe that by omitting this part of myself from the record, I am complicit in perpetuating the suffering, fear, and shame cast upon so many in the world. In my silence, I’ve helped decide for to you too that to be gay is to be, as a young man (or young woman, young anyone), inappropriate for a professional career in the Arts (WHAAA???) So now, let the record show this- I self-identify as gay. And does that really matter anymore? As a young man, I needed a young man in Hollywood to say that- and without being a dick about it, I owe it to myself, more than anything, to be who I needed when I was younger.

[From Instagram]

The entire essay is powerful and I would encourage you to read it on Instagram if you’re interested. Carver talked about how the world is changing and how social media is helping people “connect, galvanize, and awaken” to each other’s differences. I have no doubt that his coming out will help other young people, especially those who want to pursue careers in the public eye. This was brave and it was timely and I don’t think Carver needs to blame himself for taking his time coming out. He did it when he was ready, and in a way that will have a strong impact, just as he intended.

Oh and he added this at the end “And let the record show my twin brother is just as cool for being straight.”

Charlie with his brother, Max:

A photo posted by Charlie Carver (@charliecarver) on Jan 11, 2016 at 2:14pm PST

Photo credit: WENN.com and Getty Images