Madonna said she’d move to Malawi if that’s what it took for her to adopt 4-year-old Mercy James. But she’s clearly not planning on making it her permanent home – not that anyone ever thought she would. Madge just plunked down $40 million on an enormous 12,000 square foot townhouse on Manhattan’s Upper East Side. Because she’s got more money than she knows what to do with, Madonna can obviously still move to Malawi for a bit if she chooses. But still… $40 million… just… damn.

Looks like Malawi will have to wait — Madonna is moving to the Upper East Side, The Post has learned. Madge has signed a contract to buy a four-story, Georgian-style townhouse on East 81st Street for about $40 million, sources said. That’s some $5 million less than the original asking price.

“The townhouse is perfect for Madonna,” according to one source. “She’s trying to recreate London in New York City, and this is in the style of a London townhouse.” But her new home in what brokers call the “Far East” does not appear to be all that much of a bargain. No residence in that area “has ever sold for $20 million, let alone $30 million — or ever will again,” said one broker who asked not to be identified.

The kaballah convert will also find the house has bad vibes — specifically from the Lexington Avenue subway. People inside the 26-room mansion can hear and feel the trains coming through, according to one visitor.

But on the plus side, the double-wide mansion does have a two-car garage, a 3,000-square- foot garden, nine fireplaces, an elevator and a wine cellar with a grotto. And with 13 bedrooms and 14 bathrooms, it certainly has the space to accommodate Madonna’s family, which — at this point — does not include even a semi-permanent replacement for ex-hubby Guy Ritchie.

When Mayor Bloomberg was asked today whether he’d send Madonna a thank you note for buying a new place – a boost to the city’s sagging revenues – he said, “No. But we do plan to send her a bill.”

[From the New York Post]

That’s why I love Bloomie – smartass comments like that. Madonna plans to do a lot of remodeling of the place – even at $40 million, nothing is up to her exacting specifications. The Post also noted that it features the “soothing sounds of [the] 4,5, and 6.” Meaning the 4, 5, and 6 trains. How relaxing. I honestly wouldn’t find that to be a big deal – it’s commonplace to hear and feel the trains under you in New York. A lot of dangerous things could happen and I’d just assume it was an F train underneath me. That said, I don’t live over one, and I imagine that could get a bit grating on the nerves. And Madonna strikes me as the type who’s easily annoyed. If it gets bothersome I’m sure she’ll just make the city move the train tunnels or something.

In related Madonna news, while a lot of us tend to see her as rather cold and emotionless, there have been many reports that she’s having an exceptionally hard time dealing with losing her adoption bid.

Putting on a brave face despite her crushing disappointment after her adoption bid was turned down, she spent two nights out in a row in London with Stella McCartney.

A smiling Madonna was spotted arriving at the Mayfair restaurant Cecconi’s to meet Stella. However, once inside, the 50-year-old mother of three reportedly became tearful as she showed her fashion designer chum a photograph of the little girl she had been expecting to bring home with her. “She dug around in her handbag for the photo and was excitedly showing it off to Stella,” a source to a newspaper. “but it was clearly too much, the moment overcame her.”

[From Hello! Magazine, April 20, 2009, print ed.]

It’s strange to hear about Madonna having some sort of human frailty. In so many ways she just seems like a machine: she keeps going no matter what. There’s also such a rigid focus on perfection, and you forget even she’s going to lose people she cares about. It’ll be interesting to see just how committed she is to adopting Mercy, and if she really does move to Malawi.

And at least Madge will have that $40 million house to come back to.

Here’s Madonna taking a helicopter ride from Battersea, England carrying a large Louis Vuitton bag on April 9th, along with pictures of her new digs. Images thanks to WENN.com and Mavrix.