Jennifer Garner has parlayed her betrayal by Ben Affleck into covers on US Magazine, People Magazine, and most notably Vanity Fair, the interview for which came out right before the Oscars. For someone promoting a sh*tty looking movie aimed at Christian conservatives that’s a somewhat remarkable level of PR acumen. Plus, she threw subtle shade and hinted at deeper secrets without disparaging the father of her children. She managed to look like the wronged party but made it clear that she’s not going to play the victim. She’s calculating in her genuine, approachable image and she’s not going to let a cheating husband get in the way of that. So that’s why the follow-up stories to Oscars weekend are interesting to me.
We heard late last week that Ben and Jen celebrated a birthday for their son, Samuel, at a party attended by other celebrities including Reese Witherspoon and her youngest son and Kate Winslet’s kids (with a nanny). On Jimmy Kimmel’s show after the Oscars last night Affleck revealed that he dressed as Batman for Samuel’s fourth birthday and that he had to convince the studio to lend him the costume. He said that there were other superhero characters there including Wonder Woman, Iron Man and Captain America, which surprises me because you would think they would limit it to DC characters so good for him.
People Magazine has a story about Ben and Jen’s run-in at the Vanity Fair Oscar party. It doesn’t make sense to me that there would be much to report, because they supposedly went on vacation together with their kids just a couple of weeks ago, and they’re still living on the same property, albeit apart. Supposedly they had a “nice moment” and the way the insider source words this, it’s up to interpretation as to whether they left together. However The Daily Mail has photos outside the party and it looks like they left separately.
When they initially arrived, the amicable exes were seen standing a few feet away from each other without interacting as they chatted with fellow party guests.
Later in the evening, Affleck and Garner shared a friendly hug and a kiss, and at one point Garner held his lapels as she appeared to compliment his look. The two later parted ways, with Garner staying toward the back of the room with close friends Victor Garber and J.J. Abrams.
(Earlier, Affleck was spotted meeting up with pal and Best Actor nominee Matt Damon on the patio.)
“They had a nice moment where they caught up and a lot of their friends were there – and they chatted and then they left,” a source tells PEOPLE of the former couple.
[From People]
So this is yet another story about how these two get along well enough. The photo of them meeting makes it look pretty tense though. This makes me wonder – did Ben get to read Jennifer’s Vanity Fair interview before it was published? Did a team of their PR people map out a strategy and give her talking points? I would really love to know how this is all happening behind the scenes and if Garner is really the one pulling the strings. Are there competing PR teams, do they negotiate as to what gets put out there or is one calling the shots?
Update: Apparently Affleck met up with DiCaprio and other stars at a private party in LA after the Oscar parties had wrapped. They’ve known each other for over a decade and used to play high stakes poker together at private homes along with Tobey Maguire and other celebrities.
photo credit: Fame and WENN.com
She looked truly amazing at the Oscars. Ben looks like a drunk mess as usual. And somehow, I still want them to get back together.
I thought so as well
ITA.
Okay it might just be me, but I don’t thin Jen’s interview was “calculated” I think she’s really hurt. I also think she’s in an awkward position and there’s not a lot she can do without throwing Ben too deeply under the bus because let’s be really if JG said anything more about him in that interview.. I mean people hate him enough already. I think she’s bitter and she’s probably really sad but I just don’t see calculating. As for their meeting, they probably had hoped they could just avoid each other and then realized that looked bad.
I agree. I am usually quite cynical about celebrity motives but I think people unfairly over read Jen. We know now that Ben is far more PR conscious than her. Seriously just google their sightings together since nanny gate and tell me that isnt Bens work. Oh he is giving her ride in his stupid mid-life crisis car, and here he is tagging along to the farmers market that he hates so much. And the man who was in a casino practically every evening early last year hasnt been spotted at one since? Ben is all about optics at this time, not her.
I believe her when she says she (like any normal human being) didnt want another failed marriage. Maybe when she finds another relationship she will realise that she hang on to Ben longer than was healthy. But I dont think her hanging on was in any way a cynical career or PR move. Even my ice cold heart recognises a woman in love.
I wouldn’t describe it as calculated in the sense that she’s trying to paint herself in a particular light (though I do think she’s savvy enough to know how things will be percieved) but I think it’s calculated in the sense that she had to be aware of what she could say and reveal while still expressing herself and her sadness.
Agreed, I don’t buy Gardner being so calculated. If there was a “who’d you rather”, I’d chose her over him, and that’s coming from a hetero female.
They’ve got a lot of history together so of course they had a “moment.” The marriage is over though.
I don’t know, I think it’s 40% genuine feeling and 60% PR. I have no doubt that JG is/was very hurt over all of this and has been through some tough times in her marriage and breakup. However, her PR game is so perfect, so on point, so consistent in its message, I have to wonder. Nobody is that perfect, nobody shows such unimpeachable aplomb, and I don’t know of anyone else who has such a made for TV story arc to their life. This whole divorce drama has been just like watching a show, with regular episodes and everything.
There’s calculation there, for sure. I think that’s JG’s unsung strength, she’s a master at using her real life, tastes, style and feelings to weave a perfect persona. There’s enough of the real woman there that it feels genuine and relatable, but also enough savvy to make it the kind of flawless that nobody actually is.
I also appreciated that, calculated or not, when her kids read all this in a few words, they won’t feel like Mom trashed Dad in front of the entire world.
@Vizia: This, absolutely. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again. She is putting her children first in all of this. I find that incredibly admirable and not at all calculating.
Sorry but that is really naive. She’s always had great PR game.
This.
… which is exactly why PR works. =(
yes. I admit I’m inclined to see her as manipulative because of the way she pushed the happy-family narrative in the run up to his oscar win. i understand why someone in her position would do that, it just struck me as a bit dishonest, tbh.
I’m sure she is hurting, though, and I have to say, game or no game, she is handling herself in a very dignified way.
Absolutely. No one in Hollywood does an interview with a cover for no other reason but PR. Her star power is not nearly potent enough to get a VF cover without dishing on Ben.
I don’t see why it’s a story, they’re not going to throw down all of a sudden when they’ve been co-parenting throughout the split. I would not be surprised if he even had a head’s up on the Vanity Fair piece, these two are keeping it tight-ish now that the nanny-gate has died down. Her little tidbits of sharing slivers of what must have been a nightmarish time are not that scandalous. I don’t get why people get so excited about articles like this, like “Ooh minor shade was thrown!” It’s all very artfully crafted and contained.
I’m with you. I don’t think there’s a story here. I think they are doing their best to get along for the sake of their children.
I’ve said this before, but my cousin’s husband was an alcoholic and she put up with his stuff for years. She went to counseling and begged him to go with her. He refused and finally she had enough and they divorced. Even though they were divorced, she still invited him to all family events – Christmas, Easter, Thanksgiving, Birthdays, etc. There was no arguing or nasty looks. They rarely mingled together at these events, but when they did, it was pleasant and friendly.
That’s all I”m seeing here. Two people who are divorcing, but remaining civil for the sake of their children. For that, I applaud Jennifer, because she probably put up with A LOT with him before going this route and I’m sure she has some pent up anger toward him. She’s putting her children above her anger and that’s to be commended.
They are so calculating, it’s really annoying, while at the same time, kind of genius. They could be friends with PR master, PMK. Who spends every living hour planning and orchestrating a story and sticks to it for months and months? I understand the kids side, they need to see them getting along, but all the smiling and hugging and politeness just screams PR PR PR PR PR. must be exhausting.
She looks fab. He looks like a bloated mess. I hope she had a blast at the party and flirted like crazy. I want her to find a nice hunk and be happy, so in a few years she be like “oh yeah, Ben… Those were the dark days. I have never been happier.”
I also really do hope that in addition to being a class act (my opinion about how she behaved in this and her recent VF interview) she does have the upper hand in this PR game. I also want her to file after the stupid movie comes out, and that part of her deal includes both a chunk of superheroes cash and future roles.
I know people here believe she is a doormat, but I disagree. I think she loved him to death and tried everything to keep her family together. I respect the fact that unlike most of them, pretending like the marriage never happened, divorce is a walk in the park and the next day they have a new piece, she is acting like a normal human being, with actual hurt feelings.
But I ask you this, how come we haven’t seen Ben do what we all expected him to do – papped with a P*ssy Posse, banging the model /hostess of the week, living it up in Vegas? Seriously, isn’t anyone wondering why the only thing coming out is family outings? Now think again whether she is a doormat or whether she is playing some advanced and subtle ninja level PR game. At least that is what I like to believe.
I love your take on this vauvert. I too think along the same lines of you. I think she is crushed and that he was the love of her life and that she fought for a real marriage but HE wanted the family image but to live the single life. I think she is still very much in love with him and is still hurting but trying to cover it all up. I think it is very awkward for her, but that she really is doing what she is doing for the kids who I don’t think she paps for PR. I think she sells, so they constantly pap her and she can not avoid them and also refuses to live her life playing cat and mouse with them instead choices to go about her business as she would were they not there…as she would living a normal life.
I was thinking about a month ago that Ben would get with Kate Hudson and after all the stories about them mingling at the VF party, I think I am right. Though I think he would do anything willing in the mean time.
Meant to add that it is strange that Ben has not been papped out gambling, drinking and carousing. I think that is his PR team keeping him in tabs at least until the movie comes out and does its course. He seems to be a changed man….for the time being. He has to watch himself right now because he knows that he just got through a scandal and he can’t afford any more bad PR now and he knows it would be front line entertainment news. He needs to do some more damage control and get his image back on the right course.
Agree on all fronts, especially you scotiagirl. Spot on!
Also agree with both Vauvert and Scotiagirl.
I posted my point about Ben quiting the casinos since the separation as evidence of his optics obsession before I read your post Scotiagirl. I’m glad to see I’m not the only one who noticed. As for Kate Hudson, gonna have to subtract some points from that Jonas bro score. How low can you get?
Kate would probably match up well with him, when you think about it. She seems to be just a ‘what works for the moment’ type who may be having a mid-life crisis as well.
She was on some talk show yesterday, and was discussing alkaline (non-sugar) diet and her movie fashions. She seems about as deep as a puddle overall, but she is bubbly.
You expressed my take on this so much better than I could. Thanks, vauvert.
PS. I loved her in Alias-so good-and I wish JJ would find a role for her in his movie empire.
But loving someone to death and trying everything to make it work regardless of how they behave is pretty much the definintion of a doormat… Unless Ben is a sociopath and she a victim, or we believe his only completely disregarding, morally way-beyond-dubious screw up just happened to get photographed.
I also don’t think she’s a doormat, so it seems more likely she weighed her options and decided being married to a movie star and the father of her children was more important than love, as long as he played his part and didn’t publicly humiliate her. Some people have thick skin and other priorities than romatic love, and that’s OK, just not a very compelling narrative.
No, I don’t agree with your definition of a doormat. And she clearly gave him the boot after nanny-gate, so she is anything but a pushover. Yet she clearly loved him and really did try everything to keep their family together.
Nope, IMO I think she truly loves him, but knows he does not love her, and knows deep down that there is nothing she can do to make him love her. I am sure there are moments when she hates him and wishes she could always hate him, but then that feeling washes away and despite her efforts she loves him again and because she loves him, even if its subconsciously, she wants to be around him, to take what ever scraps she can get of him, because she needs it, not him and she probably hates herself for that but can’t help it. Unfortunately, because they have 3 kids they will always be connected to some extent, so she can’t make that clean break and heal. IMO she always puts her children’s best interests above her own and will sacrifice herself for their happiness anytime and always.
@Crumpet: Nannygate was pretty much worldwide news, with photophraphic evidence and a sidepiece who wasn’t playing along, though. Only thing that proves is that she doesn’t take kindly to being publicly humiliated or being married to someone the world sees as a joke of a husband and father.
I think it’s fair to speculate that previous rumors may have also been true, and that she (with her “eyes wide open”) was probably aware, and didn’t care that much as long as she could still maintain the happy family image.
Spot on about Jen. I think about Ben it has to do with the Batman movie coming out. And I loved on Big Bang Theory how they said to Adam West they were worried with Ben as Batman. From a comic book loving group.
Everything that Ben is doing right now is for the BVS movie!
I never understood why these two got together. Some men have a set type and he’s all over the place with the women he chooses. she did look amazing at the oscars and well, he always looks like the single guy you don’t want your husband hanging out with.
Jen was pregnant when he married her. Jen always seemed to love – worship Ben, and often he seemed bored-meh. Ben obviously thought he could do better than Jen.
I cannot imagine the monumental stress Jen has had to endure being married to Ben. I understand her PR game, and she is trying to protect her family.
Yes all of the media was reporting they were chatting away at an after party….but the bigger headline was that he was cozying up to Kate Hudson and may have left with her. If the latter story is true, if verifies the fact that he is a shameless womanizer and that Kate broke all girl codes by being so blatantly obvious and I might add desperate.
He doesn’t seem to tick Kate’s musical box ;). Teehee
what girl code was she breaking if that even happened?
My thoughts exactly. I didn’t think Jen and Kate hung in the same circles.
I should have said my code of ethics. Jennifer and Ben are newly divorced or separated whatever they are. They were all at a party where the paps and their fellow actors were in full force. IF Kate were to waltz out of the party with Ben, knowing full well Jen was there, I call foul. The picture of Ben and Kate together was everywhere and in my opinion, it’s just tacky. Like I said, it’s just me, I tend to root for the underdog. Kate Hudson is a zero to me, just part of Hollywood’s nepotism.
I think the code would apply here even if she and Jen are not friends. They work in the same small industry, attend the same parties and no doubt have a mutual friend or two. Everybody in that room knows that this is a complicated situation with kids involved. Everybody in that room also knows that Bens hook ups are under extreme scrutiny right now. If as a woman you can not control your genital urges enough to stay away from a clearly messy situation, the least you could do is be discreet.
Kate’s kids came to Samuel’s birthday party because the younger is in Sam’s preschool class. That would be almost as bad as the Nanny, I think.
If this is true, it’s just another reason why Jen’s PR defense of Ben is so lame.
This is Hollywood and it’s not about honor or kindness. It’s more like the mafia in that “it’s just business.” Kate owes Jen nothing. They aren’t that tight.
I agree that she is “calculating In her image” and has “remarkable PR acumen’, but you can’t ignore the biggest factor in her getting all of this attention. The separation and the drama that has gone along with it has elevated interest in her to a level way beyond what it deserves to be and what it has been in many, many years.
I saw a tweet the other day about this divorce doing the same thing for Jennifer as the divorce from Tom Cruise did for Nicole Kidman, and I agree. That’s what really propelled Nicole’s career to a new level. The exception is that Jen is nowhere near the same caliber actress as Nicole.
Also, they essentially spent most of the weekend together. Sam’s bday party and then dinner out on Saturday night, so of course they already knew they would be at the same after-party. It’s not like they just happened to run into each other. Stories are saying they “appeared” to leave separately, and Ben seemed to leave about 15 minutes after she left. I wouldn’t doubt it if they coordinated their departure – just didn’t want to be seen leaving together.
Yes that is how it is played. I’m sure he was well aware that the VF article was coming out way in advance.
I’ve said for months Jen isn’t doing anything for Ben anymore. She’s protecting herself and her children and if Ben happens to fall under that shield, bully for him. But it isn’t intentional. She’s done. Which is why I suspect he didn’t get to read or have approval over her VF interview.
She looked great at the Oscars and Ben looked his usual mess. And if Kate went after him, more power to her. She likes the occasional douche. See Rodriquez, Alex.
I doubt she told him she did the interview until a few days before it came out. The photos the other day of him going to lunch or dinner with the kids and her was telling. He was in a foul mood after the interview. No matter he was the cause of the marriage breakdown, I’m sure when he read it , he wasn’t happy with the detail of the interview regarding him and his issues and, thinking why can’t she just not talk about it like some other celebs that divorce, instead of mentioning twice how she didn’t regret running down the beach to him twice. LOL She didn’t just say she didn’t regret getting married. She painted the visual for everybody. Crafty Jen. Gotta love her.
She has said he’s the love of her life and her heart is still tender and not dating. so they’ve been separated now about ten months. I imagine they were separated for a few months before the announcement. But if Ben now shows up with a woman, dating her, he’s going to be skewered as if they had just broken up and he was betraying his saintly wife home taking care of the kids. No matter by ten months many are out there being seen dating. But with that interview and the love of my life remark, Ben is stuck. He probably should just stick to call girls for another six months out of sight. for his “needs” and not go public with dating until the summer.
This is exactly what I thought about the “love of my life” comment. I have no doubt she genuinely means it, but she also knew by saying it, she would be backing him into a corner. Anything he does from now on – even starting another relationship after the divorce (if it happens/TBD) – he looks like a complete a-hole, because … well, Jennifer Garner said he was the love of her life, and look at how he’s disrespecting her, again! Poor Jen. Bad Ben. It’s everyone’s favorite story.
Exactly. I don’t think protecting Ben is her goal. She wants to protect the kids and herself.
Remember she said her eyes were wide open during her marriage. She was watching and protecting herself
Really? It seem to me more like Kate Hudson had a moment with him, or at least I think so, since she seemed glued to him (next lover?).
I only have to say that Ben looked so freaking relieved when Garner agreed to start stepping out with him when Nannygate mess happened. I mean did you see his face? I am over him. And by all accounts they are divorcing after Batman V Superman comes out. I hope she gets someone worth her time next time. It’s exhausting to be with someone you have to prop up/protect all of the time. Everyone has come out and through blinds we know, that has been her whole marriage to him.
Agreed – she saved him AGAIN by being seeing with him after Nannygate. If she could forgive him how could the public not. That softened the public opinion of him at the time. Which he needed/needs for BVS promotion.
I think he is so beholden to her and owes her big time for what she did after nannygate that he is following her playbook for how this marriage ends and how they deal with the kids separately and together as a family.
All I can say is, I would be willing to bet $1M that Ben knew about the VF piece after she did it. It is incredibly naive to think he didn’t. Here are two people who have acknowledged they still live on the same property, see each other and talk daily, take multiple vacations together, spend holidays together and eat out at least once a week, if not more, There is no way that’s “just for the kids”, and Jen is simply grinning her teeth and bearing it. She herself said, “We still have to help each other through this,” so I don’t think it’s solely about PR for her. I don’t think she is ready to fully let go yet, and I think she told him about the VF interview after she did it. His sour puss on Friday night was probably him having to deal with the public scrutiny of the article, but there’s no way he didn’t know beforehand.
He looks toasted.
quick correction: the article says it was Kate Hudon + her nanny. Not Kate Winslet
Women should know it by now that Ben is someone that will never be loyal. That’s just his nature or he thinks very highly of himself, otherwise, he really is a nice guy.
Kate is promoting a book released a couple weeks ago. She may be loving any PR attention she can get right now.
Who is the blond in the linked photo who looks like she wants to rip his head off?
I know right?
Jen’s manager and personal friend, Nicole King. I also think, correct me if I am wrong, she might be her partner in the production company she owns? Maybe she isn’t her manager, just her partner in this.
My GOD, she’s beautiful. And too good for that overrated, cheating pc of crap.
I can’t believe they didn’t find him in the garden shed trying to bang Wonder Woman at the party.
In spite of myself, I find it difficult to resist looking at little details to see if anything is revealed below what is reported.
Someone posted somewhere about Jen looking as if she was struggling not to cry in her VF party entrance video. I watched it. She is definitely struggling greatly not to break down. I watched Ben’s walk-in video. He is almost aggressively swaggering and kinda smirky – quite different from what I’ve seen in other entrances. Then, the reports say that she stayed in the back of the room with Garber and Abrams after her encounter with Ben at the party. I got the sense they were running a bit of protection for her. Then, the pictures of the exits look like Ben was looking down the stairs for something specific and then he is pictured next to Jen and her friend/manager, Nicole is giving him the die-now look.
Jen looked quite joyful throughout the Oscar telecast and never seemed to struggle with tears. What happened between the two? Was there an unpleasant encounter between the two events that put Jen in that state before she was about to enter the VF party?
Something just seems to tug at me that it does seem to be the case. She nailed the appearance at the Oscars. That can’t have sat well with him. Thinking a lot more than that, but I’ll leave it there.
Maybe she was feeling some nostalgia for previous VF parties when they were still together and more or less happy and their(HIS) dirty laundry wasn’t spread all over print and digital media. It’s got to be a combination of hurt, regret, anger, embarrassment and finally acceptance. I like her and wish her the best. He never meant anything to me even when he was halfway good looking. I must have had a sixth sense.
We will see how Live By Night will turn out. If you guys remember, JG mentioned it also on her VF interview. She was usually involved from the beginning of his projects but since they are no longer together, she wasn’t part of it anymore. I thought that was really sad too. I believe she had some inputs on all his projects and how the way his career bounced back from the “ashes.” Even Lainey talked about it before. JG also mentioned on VF how she has plenty of time now that she is no longer married to him. He was probably a lot of hard work! Maybe like running his PR, covering for him, enabling him because always it is for the family, for her kids. I think this time, she will now concentrate on herself and her kids.
Here’s another one. When Ben is walking in, there is a woman in black leather accompanying him. She has a camera behind her back. When he is leaving, she is in front of him on the stairs. She is clearly there with him (I am NOT implying romantically), but I do wonder at what photos she was supposed to be capturing for him that night. She wasn’t standing next to him when he was next to Jennifer. Her photos of them? Man, the intrigue.
she looks like a minder to me – possibly from the studio, who follows him everywhere for the time being, to make sure he doesn’t make any blunders before the movie is released
He does look drunk and she is posing hard.
Jen doesn’t look happy at all in these photos. It’s the eyes. I think she kissed any chance of reconciliation with Ben away when she did the VF interview. Is that regret on her face? LOL.
I think the point of the VF interview was her acknowledgment that the marriage is over and can’t be fixed. That’s why she is expressing her heartbreak and regret therein.
I agree that there is a sense of finality in the interview. She is gracious towards Ben so I’m not sure why he is so upset. He should have just confessed when the scandal broke but he went into hiding instead. Supposedly this interview was weeks ago, maybe after the pictures of him with Sienna Miller? I don’t think it was truly over when they separated, I think the door was still open for a reconciliation. That door is now closed. I expect he will file soon. I also suspect that there is something with Kate Hudson. She didn’t attend the party for Samuel, but instead sent her nanny. Remember in the fall when it was reported that Jennifer told Ben not to date anyone from the kids’ school? Maybe she knew something then. I can only imagine what she knows about him. She alluded to that in her interview. Radar Online is reporting that his camp is furious with her. I hope her close friends stand by her. I also found it interesting that she is sharing a room with Violet. This is a sad situation.
I noticed a massive shift in mid-October. Jen was seen with the two youngest kids in Boston (on FB) and there were pictures of photogs hounding them when they returned at LAX. Ben was photographed taking Violet to church alone the first time. After that weekend, the family sightings ceased. No more farmers market or church together. It was also about the time the story in a rag online magazine appeared that Jen suspected Ben was drinking and picking up women again and she was embarrassed she had started to believe he had changed. I know, it was not a “reliable source,” but the timing was just dead on and it fit with the changes that took place in their behavior publicly. That is the tragic part – I do think much of his issues are very big strongholds in his life and fixing them is not easy.
Jen Garner looks really pretty here. Ben Affleck somehow less puffy.
Yeah, they had a “moment”. Totes believe that. A moment of this town isn’t big enough & another moment of GTF away from me.
When I saw Jenn presenting w/Benecio del Toro, something weird came over me. I pictured a slightly sexier, wilder Jenn & Benecio as a new couple. I think it would be amazing.
It is well known that she is calculating in the extreme and manipulates her image to suit the party-line.
I am woman. Hear me roar.
I think we are going to see it happen.