We are about to reach Peak Irony with Iggy Azalea, and I can’t help it… I am giggling the entire way through this. First, let’s do some backstory. When Beyonce dropped the lyric “you better call Becky with the good hair” on Saturday night during HBO’s Lemonade, the internet exploded. Most people understood the reference as I understood it: Beyonce was telling her husband to call one of his white side chicks. “Becky with the Good Hair” was, to me, simply a reference to a bland, basic white woman, or perhaps just a non-black woman. As it turns out, some people believe that “Becky” is slang with a more specific meaning, something about blow jays. Perhaps some people combine the two meanings to mean a white woman giving oral sex.
Which brings me to Iggy Azalea. On Monday night, she was just sitting on Twitter, interacting with her fans, as one does. One of her “fans” called her a racist and that’s when Iggy sort of had a meltdown, because… she’s been the victim of racism too. Because people have called her Becky. First, she responded by tweeting: “girl BYE. do you know how many time ppl have called me BECKY? it didnt have any kind of positive intention behind it. dont start. generalizing ANY race by calling them one sterotypical name for said race. i personally dont think is very cool, the end.” To which she got some replies:
@FameKillz_ the point is: no one likes to be called out their name or generalized. the end.
— IGGY AZALEA (@IGGYAZALEA) April 25, 2016
@rNicaRo I love you too, but something doesnt have to be in order for me to be uncomfortable with it.
— IGGY AZALEA (@IGGYAZALEA) April 26, 2016
Do you see the argument she’s making? She’s been a victim of racism too, people. She’s been maligned racially because people called her Becky. Iggy continued by tweeting other replies to other people, writing:
“Those are my feelings about it because of the way the name has been directed towards me in real life…other people might not mind and that’s fine too, but i personally want to be called by my own name. don’t stress it…its clearly not okay for me to call any other race a generalized name (i agree)…but at the same time, you know its intention is “white” thats why you called me that… to be called a generalized name that gained popularity as a way to describe oral sex and then generally white women. no thanks.
So now outlets are running headlines like “Iggy Azalea slams Beyonce for racism!” And “Iggy Azalea says ‘Becky’ is racist!” I will say that if Iggy doesn’t want to be referred to as a Becky, she should not be. But I’ll also say that I think this might be a case of textbook white fragility, in that Iggy Azalea is a culturally appropriating, racially insensitive white Australian who honestly thinks she too is a victim of racism. For being called Becky.
Photos courtesy of WENN, Fame/Flynet.
Becky, please.
🙂
Iggy is an idiot. “Other people are also racist” is not an argument against you being racist.
But I think people who only believe white people or the historical majority can be racist are also idiots.
I tend to think the same, Beth. Especially after living in Europe Asia and travelling in the Middle East. Maybe I’m confusing the word racism with prejudice but I grew up thinking that rascim meant treating someone differently because of your preconceived notions about their race. Now on this site and gawker people often say racism is only applicable when the racist party has priveledge or a somehow “higher” position.
But what about when neither person has the obvious advantage ?
Yeah, it’s weird. In college I was taught like 4 different definitions of “State”, “law”, “Rights”, “Democracy”, “Government”, etc. All of which were valid and could be used in different contexts. But “racism” only has one valid definition, even though the dictionary gives 2, neither of which are the valid one. The Internet is a curious place.
Fiorella, racism is more about a system, whereas prejudice and discrimination fall in line with what you think racism meant.
Anyone can be a bigot, but I was taught in college that racism was about institutional prejudice – or, as Asiyah phrased it, a system. We can all hate or stereotype based on any number of things, but when something becomes systematic – like the war on drugs > poverty > access to quality public education, that’s when we can more appropriately use the term racism.
But that’s just my $0.02.
My f**king name is Becky, how do you think I feel, I didn’t even know it was a derogative term until this album came out. I’m suing for damages!
@Palar- mine too!! I didn’t know it was used in a derogatory manner until all of this blew up either….geesh
Although maybe we could copyright it & make a little money every time our name is thrown around lol
Me too Palar! I get called Becky everyday 😂
I’m with you, Becki….lets copyright!
I’m not a Becky but had not heard that term until now.
I wonder if it has roots in “Oh My God Becky, Look.At.Her.Butt” from Sir Mix A Lot.
My name is also Becky and I’m white although I don’t think I fit the stereotype of “Becky.” I’ve been aware of the slang use of Becky for awhile now as I’m a social worker in an inner city neighborhood. I actually had a client who I had never met before refuse to work with me once she heard my name (she made all sorts of negative assumptions obviously).
I’m annoyed that now there’s more knowledge of the slang use of Becky and that it probably will be used even more now because of that song but what can I do…it is what it is. I’m not outraged because I’m the grand scheme of things this is minor and I certainly don’t feel as though “Becky” is on any level equivalent or even close to equivalent to the n word as some people have postulated. Still, on a personal level, I don’t like it…who would if their name was being used to depict what I consider an unflattering stereotype.
Becki says:
April 27, 2016 at 8:54 am
“@Palar- mine too!! I didn’t know it was used in a derogatory manner until all of this blew up either….geesh
Although maybe we could copyright it & make a little money every time our name is thrown around lol”
HA!! Monitor MTO and you could be multimillionaires in a couple of days!
A fashion victim certainly – a hideous top and trouser combo. Other than that I know nothing and care less.
Iggy, please. Shut up. Just…shut up.
Oh please, Iggy Azalea is the one who wants to starts a conversation about racial insensivity. No and no. You know what’s really insulting Iggy : you called yourself a RAPPER.
LMFAO!!!!!
Lol. Iggy must have been reading the comment section on here yesterday. Why are some people trying so hard to find something to be offended about with this. “Becky” has been around for a really long time, yet now people are claiming hurt feelings over it.
Claiming you’re offended by something gives it more credence than ‘I’m slightly xenophobic and your strong black woman narrative is making me really uncomfortable. So I’m going to twist my discomfort and exclusion into you being in the wrong here. Enjoy!’
@Miffy. That is exactly what it is. Same way they were acting hurt when Formation came out and now trying to do the same with Lemonade. Like they don’t want to be left out of anything and if they are then well it’s racist against white people. Not everything is for them, but they sure are trying.
That’s what’s happening. I was more offended by the explanation from yesterday that white chicks are more prone to giving BJs.
I’m here to dispel that myth lol.
@Kitten: me too. But more because I’m really uncomfortable with whatever people do in the bedroom being used as an insult. And of course, it still doesn’t make it racist.
Becky isnt even a white girl. I mean Angelina Jolie would never be described as a Becky. Becky is a valley girl type. Privileged, dumb and on the look out for a famous/wealthy man. They are white because of the history of privilege and the fact that melanin always diminishes your social status.
I had never heard this term before. In the past 2 days I’ve read it means
White female who dates a black man that already has a black wife
White female who is average but people treat her special
White female who doesn’t get side eye if she’s rowdy but a black female would (privileged ?)
White female who is REALLY white (don’t think this referred to paleness, more a cultural insult)
White female who gives or is good at BJ
Non white but has longer straighter hair than the average black woman and is a husband stealer
A word that black people won’t use anymore “now that white people know about it”
And I haven’t even checked urban dictionary yet
No! Becky = White Girl! It has been that way for a while. If you read urban gossip blogs, such as Bossip, it is used all of the time. Becky, in common usage, does not refer to white girls who do certain favors.
Alright, genuine question. Coming from a place of openness and truly wanting to learn, so please be kind. Is ‘Becky’ a derogatory term? I get the feeling that it is. If so, as a white girl, is it okay that I’m uncomfortable with it? Was that Beyoncé’s point, to make me uncomfortable so that I would start to really dig deep and think about the fact that my lived experience is so very different from that of a woman of color? If so, I think that’s pretty awesome.
I get that this is not my conversation, and I’m not trying to make this about me. I saw that many posters called Lemonade a love letter to the black woman, and said that anyone else is just a spectator in this exchange. So I know this is not the time to be like, “but what about ME and my feelings about this one word?” I know it’s not about me and my feelings right now, so I hope that’s not how this comes off here. I’m genuinely wanting to know if “Becky” is generally considered derogatory and whether or not it’s alright for me to express that that makes me a little uncomfortable.
EDIT: Naya, didn’t see your comment before I posted. Thanks for shedding some light on it. So “Becky” is usually a valley girl type and just ends up being white because that’s what most valley girls are?
It’s definitely an insult, because the other meaning of the word is that a Becky likes to give BJs. But an insult doesn’t equal racist.
“But an insult doesn’t equal racist.”
Oh, definitely not. Iggy’s about to pull something with all that reaching.
I’ve been wondering that as well but frankly, I’m not bothered by the term. Whether Becky is white or not doesn’t seem to be the point. It seems more like an insult that’s directed mostly at someone for behaving a certain way. Is a woman ever called Becky just because she’s white? I don’t think so. It’s a subtle difference but I think an important one.
I haven’t watched Lemonade yet because I need to make it an event apparently, I’m looking forward to it though.
This isn’t a reply so much to you Shambles because you come from a good place but Jesus Christ, I am truly impressed by how people came to take the term Becky and wax poetic and twist it into meaning all sorts of things it never did.
Do we need to create an urban slang book for people so they don’t victimize themselves over nothing? Again, not to you Shambles.
Shambles
Just wanted to express again that I appreciate you asking and trying to understand rather than just jumping on the idea it’s a slur.
Between Naya’s comment and mine at the bottom of the page I think you’ll understand the term ‘Becky’ better and if you want to discuss what you think Beyonce was trying to say or how that relates to you (which is totally okay, the best part of her music right now is it does lead to so much examination and thought) then you absolutely can and I’m sure any of us will reply to your comment with the best answers we have.
Just a bit frustrating to see this whole thing sort of spiral out of control, reminds me about the uproar over basic.
Think of it this way: “Oh. My. Gawd. Becky LOOK at her butt”
I’ll admit, what gives me pause about the term isn’t anything racial (because that’s absurd) but rather I get uncomfortable about anything that uses sexuality as an insult. So what if “Becky” likes to give BJs? But I also realize that’s not really the context that we’re talking about here.
I will never tell you how to feel, Shambles. If it offends you, it offends you. The only thing I will say is something I read on Twitter (of all places, but it was great): “generalizations about White people don’t get them killed.” So while Becky is offensive to you (and I don’t blame you), when people compare that to racial slurs and generalizations of other races, that’s a reach. I think that being insulted by this is natural and you should address anybody who says this to you and let them know to stop. While Becky won’t get you killed, it is still disrespecting you.
Thank you, thank you, thank you so very much you guys. Your thoughtful and insightful responses have already helped me a lot, and I really appreciate you taking the time to discuss.
Basically, I wouldn’t say that I’m offended by the term “Becky,” and I’m certainly not offended at Beyoncé for her use of it. At this point I’m taking Beyoncé out of the equation entirely for a minute, because I respect that her art is her way of healing and she was straight up calling her dog husband out. I know I’ve said some things about other ladies that I’m not entirely proud of in the heat of an argument with a man (I refused to call the young lady my ex cheated on me and then rebounded with by her name, and instead called her “that girl”). So this isn’t even really about Beyoncé for me.
I honestly had no idea that Becky was a thing, if you know what I mean. I didn’t know there was a deeper meaning to it. And I must admit that when this discussion first started and I first started to learn what ‘Becky’ was, I was uncomfortable for a second. It was this little “ehhh” feeling, not full blown outrage. I was a little put off by it. It kind of felt like finding out you’ve been being made fun of, when previously you had no idea.
But I know that since I am who I am as a white lady, this was a moment to learn, not to be outraged. I know that that small little put off feeling was probably nothing compared to what it feels like to live the experience of a black woman, something I know nothing about. After reading Eternal’s explanation downthread, I honestly understand why the word exists. I know girls like that, to be frank. The sorority girls who post pictures of the “gangsta” themed social, dressed up in ridiculously ignorant and tone deaf outfits.
And like Asiyah said, even if “Becky” was a slur, there’s still no comparing it. There’s no racially charged, emotional history behind it. There’s no history of murder and death and degradation behind it. I appreciate this discussion wholeheartedly, and again thank you ladies.
I’m sorry, but using slurs based on someone’s race is wrong. Period.
I agree that a white girl saying “call Shaniq’ua with the big thighs” is worse, but that doesn’t mean she should ignore insults like “Becky.” All it does is perpetuate a society where insults based on race are the norm.
Well–I’m black/biracial, and when I’ve heard it the term Becky used, it’s in reference to valley girl types. Who act a certain way. As in my mom has called my younger sister and all her little annoying ass friends “Beckys” because they’re all annoying, give the same fake, high laughs, wear their hair in the same top knot, wear the same clothes……….like it’s really weird, because I can see the difference in my sister when she is at home, and when she is with her (white) friends…..there is a HUGE difference in how she dresses, styles her hair, acts…..
I’ve never heard the term Becky used as a euphemism for BJs….that was new for me.
How does this girl have a career? Is she a case study for lack of self awareness in the public eye?
She doesn’t understand that she’s been over for a while now. No one cares. She can’t even stir up controversy because no one cares enough to respond to her. And BTW, her plastic surgeon pulled the right eye tighter than the left – it looks wonky.
I feel sorry for any woman actually named Becky or Rebecca.
I think, Beyonce should have written down the names as well. This witchhunt is completely ridiculous now.
If the Keisha’s, LaToya’s, Tyrone’s, Jamal’s and all the other Black people with distinctly African American names that have their names used against them when they go to apply for jobs because of the prejudice that comes with having a name that shows they are Black and gets them passed over for jobs even though they are qualified are still able to live life, I’m sure all of the Beckys will be alright. Especially since their name at most may get a couple of snickers out of people but not hold them back from being able to provide for themselves or their families.
And even with all that being true, you can still feel sorry for people getting made fun of because of their names.
Seriously.
Lord, imagine how much more seriously folks should take racism and discrimination if the term ‘Becky’ rocks their world like this.
Travonne was told to stop wearing her natural hair or she’d be fired but Becky, my goodness, this is where the tragedies are happening people.
“Especially since their name at most may get a couple of snickers out of people but not hold them back from being able to provide for themselves or their families.”
YES! Excellent point.
Thank you Asiyah, this woman is hilarious. She has no problem dating and associating with black male rappers who call black women the most disgusting, derogatory terms you could ever imagine that I won’t repeat here. But she is crying foul over being called Becky. She should be thankful that as a white woman that is all she is being called. And I didn’t hear her complaining when she was referring to Asians and other minorities in racist terms in her earlier tweets. The nerve and hypocrisy of this woman.
Having grown up in rural Appalachia, I will add that there is also a bias against “trailer park white trash” names. Not to compare this to the African American experience mentioned before, but just to add FYI. I have a work acquaintance who named his daughter a “trailer park name” with a “trailer park spelling,” and it was noted by others (not I) that he (and his wife) were limiting her “career choices.” (Quotes are to indicate what others have said, not my words.
Susan — having grown up in rural NE Texas, I can vouch that you are not wrong. It’s not equivalent to the difficulties of living while black in the US, but being marked out as “white trash” by your name, dress, food preference, etc., does also convey real social disadvantages in the South. It is definitely a thing.
I am aware of the term Becky and the only meaning I am aware of has been an over privileged, rich suburban and entitled white woman who spends her days playing golf at the country club. I think it came from the movie White Chicks. I do not find it racist but extremely offensive. Had a white artist made a song calling a woman LaQuisha or Shaniqua or anything that starts with “La” and end with “qua” wearing a weave, we would be calling the song racist. Let us top using stereotypes towards people of any or other races.
I agree, but Becky is from Sir Mix A Lot, no?
Lols at the woman who claims that the reason she never comments on anti black racism is because she isnt “political” , suddenly finding it in her to speak out on “racism”.
Seriously. If I had any conflicted feelings about the term Becky (I don’t BTW), knowing that Iggy finds it racist officially confirms that it ain’t sh*t to be worried about.
Iggy is so dumb at times that I find it hard to believe she’s not in physical pain because of it.
Anyone else get the impression that she’s just not very bright?
When a cloud covers the sun, Iggy thinks the sun’s lightbulb has burned out and needs to be changed
I thought Iggy had decided to take a break from social media and the spotlight for awhile? Or does she have a new album coming out soon?
I don’t think we should call each other names. I also don’t think there is any comparison between being called Becky with the good hair and what black women have endured on a systematic basis for hundreds of years. I think those two opinions can live together as long as no attempt is made to equate the two or claim that white women called Becky are victims of racism, or victims, period. I am also of the opinion that calling someone who slept with your husband Becky is pretty mild. So I’m sort of full of opinions on this topic.
I am also of the opinion that calling someone who slept with your husband Becky is pretty mild.
This! I don’t really care if Jay Z cheated with white women, black women, or both. The woman/women deserve to be called out. I’am not a fan of the “Becky” narrative, but that B*tch is lucky to have not been called much worse.
Lol, me too.
Exactly. Some people were actually trying to argue that it’s the same as the n-word? Um NO.
It’s the difference between being called a generic white girl name (boohoo) and having a derogatory word ascribed solely to a black person to make them feel less than white people. The n-word carries a whole history of pain and oppression with it, you know? It’s not even REMOTELY the same thing.
And just to be clear: I’m speaking only in terms of how a white person would use the n-word. I have no opinion about black people using it because that’s their business.
What a stupid argument and comparison. SMH it is not the same as the n-word!
Like when people say cracker is the same as the n-word? Lolz, no no!
@ GNAT: I commented above before I saw your comment but yes, to all of it. Being called names isn’t great but it’s not a disaster either and it certainly has nothing to do with systemic oppression. I also don’t think any white woman will be called Becky solely because she is white.
I’ve been called Becky for being white. I teach high school at an all boys school on a college campus. I’m 35 but I look younger. I was outside our school having a conversation with a student when a girl walks by and refers to me as another bitch ass Becky that can’t catch a white man so I gotta come to the hood side of town to slum. So yeah, I’m not really cool with the term since it was used derogatorily against me and the student I was having a conversation with, since me talking to him was considered slumming.
There’s a lot worse in the urban dictionary to be called. I’m pretty sure students call me horrendous things, most words probably directed at my weight and looks. Not going to care what a teenager says about me if it’s not based on my actual performance at my job. If that’s something that’s still bothering you, maybe stop teaching.
To Wilma, ummmm yeah, it wasn’t my student it was a random person on the college campus where our school is housed who saw me speaking to a student. My kids have called me a snowflake and other terms for white girl, but also have conversations with me regularly about cultural differences between races and why white people do this or that. So yeah, I’m not bothered by what my kids say. A random person who doesn’t know anything about me? Yeah don’t come out the side of your face when you dont know what you’re talking about cause she embarrassed herself with her assumptions and degraded my student by calling him a downgrade.
Yep, sums it up intelligently and nicely because some of these comments as well as from Iggy are offending without realizing it (well Iggy never realizes anything).
I think anyone can be racist/prejudiced,/discriminatory etc., towards anyone. Doesn’t matter your skin color or privilege. If you are white and you get mugged for being white (which actually happens around where I am from) then you are the victim of prejudice or whatever. This is not a selective thing. The definition of racism doesn’t say “people against minorities.” This whole whites v. everyone else needs to stop but is perpetuating the divide. We are all categorizing ourselves and screaming “we’re different!” Why can’t we be people? In history slavery and discrimination resulted from “us v. them” thinking and somehow we haven’t learned that doesn’t work. If I were to walk around announcing “I’m anorexic and have 6 other mental disorders!” people would start to see me as the mentally ill girl and treat me different. I keep quiet because I don’t want to be defined by something. All groups have been through prejudice at some point in history. INCLUDING cultures in the white bubble. I mean, Christians are a majority and there is an ongoing genocide of them. People suck. People have always treated some group as sub humans and it’s terrible. It needs to stop. We need to ban together as a people and think of everyone’s as an equal and not a race or religion. I don’t care what you look like or believe, you are a human being. And just because your body adapted to a climate makes no difference at the end of the day. I just want the divide to end.
End rant.
I feel this way, too, llamas. I mean, I get the importance of strongly identifying with your race, especially if there is a history of discrimination and shame, but I (naïvely?) look forward to the day when we stop focusing on what divides us (race, gender, sexual orientation, language, religion, etc) and instead start treating each other as worthy of respect, tolerance, patience, and understanding simply because we are all human and share this planet.
I don’t follow her much. But if someone called me Becky, I’d be pissed. It’s not a nice gesture. Her point is don’t call people out of their name based on their skin! It’s that simple.
^^^ this
True but no one has been calling her that. Maybe a member of the beyhive with 3 followers on twitter did and Iggy saw the opportunity to join the becky fray.
Except it’s actually not that simple.
You know, I really hate the current trend of dumbing down complex and nuanced issues like racism. Racism needs to be discussed in terms of context–sociology, history, anthropology, and the systemic issues that surround it. Implying that a white “slur” is on par with a black slur ignores the history of racism against blacks in this country.
At the risk of sounding like a broken record, I’m SO damn tired of this need to equalize things in order to prove a point, when there are marginalized members of our society who simply don’t have that privilege. Things are NOT equal in this country and we need to take that into consideration when we’re discussing issues like racism and sexism.
So well said, Kitten. It’s (sort of) like a 200 pound adult male punching a 30 pound 5 year old in the face and saying well, he hit me first. It’s not the same thing. It’s ignoring the fundamental unfairness of the situation from the start, just because the two actions were, on the surface, the same.
Actually, it’s pretty simple. Don’t call people slurs based on race. Period.
I agree that a “white slur” is not as bad as a “black slur.” I agree that stealing $10 is not as bad as stealing $100. I agree that hitting someone my size is not as bad as hitting a 5-year-old. Doesn’t mean that any of it is okay, and I find it sad that people are arguing the opposite.
Good LORD. If it was that simple then we wouldn’t have 130 comments on this board expressing differing opinions.
Look, you speak for yourself ok? If you want to be offended then be offended and if you want to chastise others then go ahead. But don’t act like you’re speaking on behalf of all white people because I’m not offended by the term “Becky”. In fact, I could give a rat’s ass about people using it. I’m going to use my energy being offended by things that actively impact my life, not some silly slang term that means absolutely nothing to me.
KF – I’m in agreement with you. No matter the EXACT meaning of the phrase, t’s very clear that calling someone “a Becky” is not a compliment. It’s an insult. So I think it’s OK to be offended when someone insults you no matter what the actual insult is and no matter what your race is.
An insult is an insult is an insult. Period.
How have i never heard Becky used to put someone down before? One of my best friends growing up was named Becky. Maybe its not a thing in Canada…..?
People have been named or nicknamed Becky for centuries. This derogatory meaning is fairly recent.
GNAT: Look up Becky in urban dictionary. Just a tad different……
No, I get the meaning now. I just mean that it’s like the name Dick. It was just a name for centuries, until it was attached to a man’s body part. Actually, I sort of lost sight of what I meant. But I knew when I said it! Lol
That what I was wondering…what if your name is Becky? I don’t get the put down the name Becky intends to be. And I’m an American!
I think the origin of it, or at least, when it became mainstream, is from Sir Mix-A-Lot’s song about big butts. Whatever year that was.
Canadian here with plenty of friends named Rebeca. 🙂 Yes it’s a thing but I for one don’t use it. As a black woman, I just don’t like the term.
Becky means gay in the Philippines.
From what I know, it’s an American thing.
Another black Canadian, here. I knew it existed but only from having heard it from Americans. I’ve never heard anyone use it here. Had no idea about the ‘performance’ aspect, never heard it that context.
There are a gazillion other words, phrases, and hidden messages in that album. Is this really what we are focusing on? Day 4?
Whoa whoa whoa…. is this kind of like “oh my god Becky… look at her butt!” a la Sir Mix A Lot? Because that would also play into the ‘valley girl’ imagery.
I honestly had never heard the term Becky until yesterday.
I’ve never heard the term Becky as an insult either. Anyway not sure why this lady is famous, cannot name any of her songs or movies. Neither that other Rita Ora lady.
Meh. For me Becky is just referencing to a type of girl who sleeps with married/taken men. It is not systematically insulting. The term may be mainly used by WOC but it does not make it necessarily racist (even if it probably can be I guess).
It says more for me that she was already called Becky and is now crying wolf about it… (You know, now that it is controversial)
Has she been taking lessons on “How to Make Everything About You-Even When it Isn’t!!” from Taylor Swift?
Very on point
WTF, All day long, my ears have been burning
This is like those people who lose their ish over the word “cracker.” Sure, “cracker” is a slur. Sure, it applies to white people. But key point: eople using the term cracker against a white person are not the same people keeping that white person down, duhhhhh.
People are always going to have names for others. These names will always reflect social divisions whether by class, sex, race, religion. But who wields them and why matters. Idk why this dumb girl never seems to get it. srsly why is she so dumb???
Wait, I just realized why. This is a Millennial’s grasp of racism.
Uhh, so using slurs against anyone is okay? Because that’s how your post reads.
Agree, GOTR. All it does is perpetuate even more tension. Why can’t we all just be kind to one another and not hurl racially fueled insults at each other. Seems pretty easy to me.
TY, Mimi.
This idea that slurs are okay if they come from a particular group and are directed at a particular group is…well, it’s pretty disgusting is what it is. Is it too much to ask to expect people to be kind?
Sigh, no she’s saying that some slurs hurt feelings and some slurs bury bodies.
Neither one is intended to make you or anyone else feel good about themselves. A slur is by definition an insult but truthfully Becky ISN’T a slur. It’s cultural shorthand (something this comment section makes me realize people genuinely have no clue about). It’s not as insulting as it is trying to sum up a description of a person without using a paragraph to do so.
I can use Becoy to describe someone I’m fond of or someone I don’t like at all. It’s a multifaceted neutral term.
Becky, not Becoy
That isn’t what she’s saying, Goats.
I don’t understand how people revert to the “But it’s NEVER okay, no matter who says/does it.” argument every single time when it comes to racism, sexism, basically all the -isms. Can we not focus on the actual issue? It’s like the people who scream “But remember, men are the victims of domestic violence too!” Oh my god, yes. BUT that is not the point here. If your first reaction is the need to generalize so you’re included in the conversation, even if you belong to the more privileged group, that should be a sign that you’re not aware of what the issue is.
I’m interested in the whole terminology discussion as a linguist. But on the whole, it seems to be pretty inconsequential when it comes to Lemonade.
@ Greenieweenie: I really don’t think Iggy has a grasp on much. Definitely not on racism. And she’s dumb because she quit school at 16. And some people simply need school.
@littlemissnaughty-
I’m asking this in sincerity, but I honestly don’t get the point you were trying to make.
I sort of see this as the opposite case of your metaphor. Like a man saying “I’ve been domestically abused” and everyone goes OMG SHUT UP women have it SO much worse. Iggy says that she’s been called a slur, and people are telling her to shut up because slurs against blacks are worse. Which is true, but it still doesn’t negate her experience.
vilebody, that’s exactly what I was saying. Iggy and the above poster felt the need to point out that “it happens to EVERYONE and it’s never okay”. It may not negate the experience but 1) it is not on the same level and 2) it’s not the point. If every time you go to that argument and have to point out that everyone suffers (or something like that) we’ll never talk about the real issue.
I agree with you, Greenieweenie.
Cracker came about as a slur based on white people being the ones who cracked the whip, or so I was told. So who is that term more hurtful to? Not an argumentative statement, just a weird slur to me.
+ 1 GOTR & Mimi. Calling a white person a cracker is a racial slur and it is putting a person down because of their race. Racism is racism.
A slur is a slur that reflects badly on the person using it.
But don’t play, don’t pretend, that cracker means something like the n word. The n word was institutionalized in every courthouse, every legislative body, every hospital, every business, every white schoolhouse, every white church and even in the freaking MAP–on the Mason Dixon line–to keep black people not American and not fully human. All the way from the Supreme Court to the most rural backwater in Mississippi. Sure, every white person might not have employed the word. But they could have used it and everything it represents and been protected by law at every turn.
That should not be news. If it is, sorry, but you need to think a little harder as you walk through life. Congrats, you noticed that two words are two racial slurs. That doesn’t mean they served even remotely the same purpose in American history and have even remotely the same power, implications or effects today. That is the point that this brainless white celebrity marrying a black man can’t seem to grasp. I have noooooo patience for her relentless inability to learn one thing. Learn one thing, Becky Azaleaaeaaeaeaeaea!
She thinks racism is just when you combine a word that makes you feel vaguely uncomfortable plus a racial connotation together in a sentence. That’s cute. Racism’s about feelings!
I don’t care about iggy or what she thinks. On the bigger question though…becky is a derogatory term. It is never used in a flattering way so to pretend otherwise is disingenuous. That said, as a white chick, I don’t consider it on par with various other racial slurs. When I hear someone use the term, it doesn’t endear them to me. But my reaction is basically just an eye roll. I think about this weekend at the beach back in my very early 20s with a group of friends including two nonwhite guys who had the stated goal that weekend of “hooking up with some beckys.” They spent entire evenings cruising up and down the road yelling “hey becky !” At every white girl they passed. (Amazingly this eventually worked). As the only white girl in the group, yea it made me uncomfortable. But it was also amusing. I view it as harmless racism, basically, as greenieweenie states above.
“harmless racism” are you effing kidding me. There is no such thing. Racism perpetuates racism. A person who is on the receiving end of a racially tinged insult probably won’t just let it fly. They shouldn’t be expected to. Situations like this usually just lead to the people involved thinking it’s okay to spout a bunch of racist bullsh*t because “he/she started it”. If the narrative being expressed here is that it is okay for a certain group of people to use racially influenced slurs, all that will accomplish is the acceptance and encouragement of this already ugly cycle.
” but seeing as how she’s liberally doled out racist jokes and racist terms for years, it doesn’t have a ton of impact you know? “. Unfortunately, this. It is a valid point of view being expressed by someone who people will no take seriously when speaking of this subject. It’s a shame, really because she makes a very valid point.
I’ve been called a “stupid gringo” by strangers as their way of insulting me. I was kind of embarrassed when people started snickering and whispering at me. I’m not just some white oppressor. I’m a human being with feelings and skin color, in no way,should be an excuse as to why you’re bullied. I was beat up all the time and junior high and my school didn’t do anything about it because I’m not a minority. To this day I am pissed about that. Just because I’m white doesn’t mean it’s okay for me to be choked in front of everybody laughing.
“Harmless racism?” You’re joking, right?
I would NEVER tell a POC that they should be okay with being called any name that was meant to denigrate. I think it’s equally unreasonable to expect a person who happened to be born white to sit back and take insults with a smile. It’s NEVER okay, no matter the person’s race.
So then why should she be okay with sitting back and accepting the term Becky, which is a term used to denigrate? Even if you hate her, how can you not see her point? Just because she’s white and blonde does not mean she has no say in the argument.
She can be offended all she wants but seeing as how she’s liberally doled out racist jokes and racist terms for years, it doesn’t have a ton of impact you know?
So her point is that calling a black man “Dashawn” as a generic term isn’t racist but calling a white girl “Becky” is?
Huh?
She’s just not very bright.
She’s just sharing her experience, guys. You can’t tell someone what they should/shouldn’t be offended by. It’s a completely subjective thing. The word “Becky” offends you but it doesn’t offend the OP (or myself for that matter).
That’s her (and my) opinion.
*shrugs*
Also, remember 10 years ago when the term “Betty” was being used by men all the time? http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Betty
I don’t recall cries of sexism, but maybe that was because Betty had a favorable connotation.
repost since I replied in the wrong area lol.
” but seeing as how she’s liberally doled out racist jokes and racist terms for years, it doesn’t have a ton of impact you know? “. Unfortunately, this. It is a valid point of view being expressed by someone who people will not take seriously when speaking of this subject. It’s a shame, really because she makes a very valid point.
That’s the thing: she is like the WORST messenger for any issue that touches on racism.
Agreed. That doesn’t mean there isn’t merit in what she is saying. The argument she is presenting might have been taken a lot more seriously if it hadn’t come from someone who continually exploits a culture to remain relevant.
@Mimi-Again, if it offends you it offends you.
I won’t tell you to not be offended, but I also don’t think that we should not equate it with the n-word, even if the argument here is that the term “Becky” is on the slur spectrum.
At this point, the “becky” thing is not at all equal to the “N” word. But, at some point in history, somebody said it was okay to use the “N” word and an entire people were and continue to be subjected to that disgusting slur. In my opinion it is a bit naive to think that “Becky” is not a racially motivated term. At least in the context that it is most commonly used.
Ugh I meant to say: “but I also don’t think that we SHOULD equate it with the n-word”.
Yeah it’s probably a racially-motivated term but as has been explained here by black commenters, it’s meant to describe a certain type of white girl-the kind who talks in an affected Valley Girl way of speaking…which, I guess that’s probably why it’s not a big deal to me. When I used to go to an all-women gym in a college area in the city I was forced to listen to women speak like that all the time and it drove me crazy, like nails on a chalkboard. I’d be the first to mock them to my friends, just the way I mock the Kardashian way of speaking. If I’m understanding correctly that this is what a “Becky” is then *shrugs*–I’d be a hypocrite to get angry about it.
I don’t believe in “harmless racism,” but I see your POV.
It must be so hard to be a rich, white, blonde….naw shut the fk up. At least you’re not being called ChingChong or Ling Ling. Becky offends her? Textbook white fragility indeed.
Yeah I’m going to have to get in line here. Let’s count up all the racial slurs in American parlance for non-white people, and then the slurs for white people. Now count up all the times you hear those slurs. I don’t care what company you keep, the white person is coming out on top. Don’t cry over the one time someone made you feel bad vs the million times white television, white politicians, white movies, white school teachers and just plain white people have made everyone else feel bad! White people are so rarely the recipient of racial slurs, we don’t even recognize them. Becky who? Is there something I can take offense to here? I knew Beyoncé was racist!
” Becky” started in the Sir Lancelot song about big butts. Oh my god Becky look at her butt…… And the rest is history with the evolution of the name Becky.
Ah, yes, Sir Lancelot’s magnum opus, “Baby Got Back”. Now I know why they all sat at a ROUND table…
ROUND table has taken on a whole new meaning on Camelot for me. Now I’m picturing a medieval music video mashup with King Arthur, Guinevere and all the Knights of Camelot rapping and dancing around this glorious round table. 🙂
#Dead
Sir Mix-a-Lot
OMG my auto correct did that! Or maybe I had not had coffee yet???
Sir Lancelot. LMFAO!!!!!
LMAO, thank you for making me bust out laughing.
Thank you for the laugh. Who knew there were rappers in Camelot?
When “Beckys” start being denied job opportunities,housing,etc simply because of their name than maybe I will care,right now IDGAF.
I can’t be offended by a term? To me someone calling someone (usually white) Becky is racist. Reverse racism is still racism.
Reverse racism does not exist 😤
It is NOT a thing, period.
Exactly but let’s not open up this topic because you know we will all be banging our heads against a wall within three seconds and I already have a headache.
rac·ism
ˈrāˌsizəm/
noun
the belief that all members of each race possess characteristics or abilities specific to that race, especially so as to distinguish it as inferior or superior to another race or races.
prejudice, discrimination, or antagonism directed against someone of a different race based on the belief that one’s own race is superior.
Someone, please, tell me where in the definition of racism it says “there’s no such thing as racism towards whites.” Sorry, but racism is racism. It even says EACH race. Yes, in THIS country certain groups have experienced the brunt of it but JHC white are marginalized elsewhere. And racism towards whites can exist here TOO. If you’re going to pick and choose who can be treated like s*** based on their skin color then you are a part of the problem.
@Llamas, Where are white people marginalized? White people are privileged in North America, Central America, South America, Europe, Australia and Africa. Anywhere where there’s white people + someone else, there’s a history of white privilege. Did you miss learning about the Age of European exploration and colonization?
I grew up a white minority in a society without a white majority culture. I am an expat who lives in non-white countries. If anyone should experienced white racism, it’s me. Yet I’m baffled as to where this mystical place is where white people are marginalized.
Except reverse racism isn’t a thing. You can’t be opressed if you are the oppressor.
How does one reverse racism?
Is it like doing the hokey pokey?
Yes you can be offended. However, the term ‘Becky’ won’t keep you from getting a job or housing. The term ‘Becky’ won’t make you wonder how your kids are being treated at school when you aren’t there to help them. The term ‘Becky’ simply offends you. It does not, and will not keep you from any of the necessities of your life at any time. So while it’s unpleasant and childish, it’s not racism, reverse or otherwise.
Nope try again next time
There is no such thing as reverse racism. Please accept that.
And nobody is saying you can’t be offended by this term. What many are saying is that it is not the same as the n-word or being called a spic or a kike. BEING CALLED BECKY DOESN’T SET YOU BACK PROFESSIONALLY, ACADEMICALLY, SOCIALLY, POLITICALLY, OR ECONOMICALLY. THAT’S RACISM (hence, why reverse racism DOES NOT EXIST).
Isn’t it funny I never hear about reverse sexism
I feel oppressed by my whiteness on a daily basis. All of those jobs closed to me and stolen opportunities have been so hard. When will black people realize our struggle and give us a little privilege? When will the mass incarceration of white people stop? All those white people who can never get justice based on the color of our skin, also suffer terribly in a rigged system. We need to have their voices heard! I am exhausted by all of the racism against me. One day we will have a white president and white people will be in power positions but until then our struggle continues.
Sincerely,
Becky
LOL…always enjoy your comments, Magnoliarose.
And don’t forget people constantly mocking our hair for being good. Oh, the pain, the agony, when will it end for us?
This…this…this was BEAUTIFUL.
Magnolia, you are truly a treasure.
*Applause*
There is no reverse racism, just racism!
One of these days Icky will learn to SHUT her weirdly shaped mouth – she is such a complete idiot.
No one called her becky. Lels at iggy, she’s offended at some slang she just heard last Saturday.
Never heard the term “becky” as anything other than a name before. And now a new term! White Fragility. Ha ha ha. This site just gets better and better. Way to promote divisiveness. I thought it was just the commenters that were the time bombs. 🙁
Jfc, the white feelings being hurt is this thread is ridiculous. It is not on the same level of slurs that Woc have been called over the years. It’s not even a slur, just a generalized statement.
And to those of you who are saying “it’s wrong to call anyone names” : look I don’t know what utopian society you live in, but I live in the good ole’ Amurica when I, and millions of others like me, have to deal with institutionalized racism and blatant racism ALL the time. So if the worst thing you’re called by a PoC is “Becky”, you’re life is pretty swell.
Exactly. It’s like someone hurt their thumb and then complained to an amputee how their thumbs hurts. No comparison.
Yeah it’s derogatory and rude and it’s in the spirit of any other slur but it doesn’t have the same affect and consequence as slurs used against minorities because there is no history of oppression attached to it. In my mind its tasteless and ignorant and tacky. In the context of the song she was obviously trying to communicate her anger and went there.
So in the interest of saving a whole lot of you hurt feelings over not actually knowing what something is let me explain:
Becky is NOT a slur. So first let that go.
Becky is cultural shorthand to refer to someone without using a paragraph to do so. It is not by itself inherrantly negative though it can be used in that context because of what it usually refers to:
A sheltered white woman, typically one from the suburbs or any other area who has little to no interactions with black people. Because she lacks these interactions there’s a Valley Girl quality to her. A certain uptick in her tone of voice, a cluelessness about other minority groups, and a sense of profound ‘whiteness’. Whiteness being used in this sense that she doesn’t have any kind of understanding or relation to other groups and typically interactions with them are awkward or stilted because she is trying to hang by approaching them stereotypically. “Hey Jamal, I know you have that good weed!”
For those of you who keep saying Sir-Mix-A-Lot coined the term. Sigh, no. Mix-A-Lot REFERENCED the term and he did so in a way that tells you EXACTLY what a Becky is. In the beginning of the song ‘Becky’ is being spoken to her white friend who scoff and insults a black woman’s natural body because of stereotypes and her own ignorance. She can’t understand how that woman’s body is desirable because “She’s just so BLACK.” In her neighborhoods a thin slimmer body is desired and anything else is the negative. She has always been viewed as a prize and is now confused by this change in status by something she would have KNOWN if she interacted with other groups. “It’s just so round, it’s like out there. Gross!” So to sum up again, Becky is a special type of clueless white woman who is sheltered and ignorant due to her lack of interaction with others.
Oh look at that. That description took a paragraph but the term Becky just takes a word.
Hope this helps some of you because between this and basic, you’re twisting words you don’t even understand their meaning to fit some really strange racist narrative. Maybe next time ask someone who actually knows before you start up a support group.
To be quite honest, the first time I heard the term Becky in the modern, slang sense was probably on Media Take Out (I know, I know. It was a guilty, salacious pleasure back then). But it was being thrown around to describe White women, specifically. Not just valley girls, not just rich snobby girls, but White girls. They would purposefully highlight thick, white models and caption a picture “Becky with a big butt” or White women who were dating prominent Black entertainers or athletes like “Check out the Becky so-and-so is dating”. The commenting section there littered with the term Becky in a non-flattering way.
I agree the term itself isn’t “racist” per se, but it was meant to be insulting or rude.
the definition of slur is insult the definition of derogatory is disrespectful. There is no mention of racism in that because as you say it’s not racist. It’s disrespectful and insulting.
Thanks for the explanation. I wasn’t offended to begin with, but now I have a better understanding of the term. It seems to me that it’s maybe like calling someone a stoner? That’s not necessarily derogatory, though some might think so, but to me is just more descriptive?
Don’t forget the other connotation of the term “Becky” – that white women like to give blowjobs. It may not have been the original use of the term, but it’s certainly one now. Personally, I think that adds another dimension to it as an insult, but it still doesn’t make it racist.
The only place I’ve seen that is urban dictionary which is the pop culture version of The Onion.
People make up stuff all the time to put on there as a joke. Look up the term Charizard on Urban Dictionary and tell me if that’s a real thing you think is happening.
Thank you as I had no idea what the term meant.
Eternal, this is the ONLY definition of “Becky” that I’ve ever known. This extra stuff are adding is incorrect. Thanks for taking the time to explain!
Side eye – the definition of a slur is “an insulting or disparaging remark or innuendo”. There does not have to be a racial component for an insult to be considered a slur.
To call someone “clueless” or “ignorant” is insulting. So if by your definition “a Becky” is a “clueless and ignorant person” by proxy to call someone “a Becky” is insulting them and therefore “Becky” (when used as an insult) is a slur. When you add in the qualifier (which you yourself wrote) “white woman” then congrats, you’ve made it a racial slur.
I’m white – if someone called me “a Becky” I’d be offended. It’s not a compliment, it’s clearly an insult, I’ve never seen it used in flattering or complimentary way. People have the right to be offended when someone insults them.
If I call you sheltered is that a racial slur?
Because that’s what Becky is. It’s calling someone sheltered from the realities of what the world is like outside of their neighborhoods. Having a certain set of qualities both in terms of dress and speech that is ignorant (lacking knowledge and understanding) of others.
The problem is this lack of knowledge can’t always be so easily connected with simply explaining. It’s something you learn and understand from your experiences. Becky is usually white (because monoethnic upperclass suburban enclaves usually are) but isnt white as an unbreakable rule. I’ve known a black Becky in my lifetime and if you met her you’d see the shares the exact same qualities I and others have described.
Basic and Beige=also cultural shorthand usually in reference to white people.
I want to hear Iggy cry about the injustice of being called Basic.
See also: vanilla, white bread, Minivan Majority…all typically used to describe white people. WAH.
Reverse racism isn’t real. Here’s a tip. Has the term “Becky” been used to systematically oppress an entire race of people while granting privileges to the race using it? Has it been used to subjugate or disadvantage an entire race, or taken away socio-economic power from that race? How about cracker, or honky? No?? Then it’s NOT. RACIST. Rude, maybe, prejudiced, perhaps, but it’s NOT racism for Christ’s sake. Be offended all you want by someone calling a white girl Becky, but don’t even try to call it racism. Racism is systematic and structural, it denigrates minority populations in favor of the population that holds the majority of wealth, social, socio-economic, governing power. So no matter how much white slurs may upset anyone, they don’t effectively take away power or keep anyone down besides maybe personally insulting someone.
I didn’t realize that white people dont feel racism until it holds them back from something? If that’s the mindset than this country isn’t moving in the right direction. If I work w/ predominantly non whites & they treat the white people poorly, make them do more work than everyone else, white people get fired for things black people get away with daily and use slurs in front of everyone….THATS NOT RACISM???? Just bc we have the same job doesn’t mean ur exempt! And that’s a true story it happens to my mother everyday at work.
No, it’s not racism. It’s discrimination and prejudice, but it isn’t racism because again, racism is when a system oppresses an entire race while granting privileges to another race. It is about subjugation and disadvantage, and not simply about hurt feelings (which are important, I won’t deny that).
I that would be termed as bigotry but not racism. That is how I take it anyway.
Yes, @magnoliarose! I was thinking of another word for it but it slipped my mind. Bigotry!
That’s what racism IS. It’s one group holding power over another based on ethnicity.
The term Becky is an insult. But it’s still not racist.
You know, I used to ride the subway in NY to work, and most of the other passengers were black. They would never let me sit down. If I was standing beside someone who was vacating their seat, they would stand up in a way that blocked me from sitting until a black person could sit down. At first, it hurt my feelings because I thought but I never personally did anything to you so why do you hate me? Then I thought about those words. And I was glad they didn’t punch me in the face. I found something almost noble in that small gesture. I wish I could do something to change the fact that they had learned, probably the hard way, that I was their enemy, but I have only my own people and my own history to blame. If I’m going to be angry at someone, it will be the white people who taught them to hate me or at least look upon me with distrust, not them for learning the lesson. I hope with all of my heart that someday the lesson will be different.
So, I can see why your mother felt hurt or angry, but if we are going to move in the right direction, we as white people need to stop asking black people to be blind to what history has taught them. We have to face what we have done and stop acting like it grew out of nowhere.
@GNAT-And notice how it never works the other way around? So some of us white people have one negative experience with a person who happens to be black or a few black people and instantly form an opinion about PoC. Yet if we have a positive experience with a black person we never assume that all PoC are like that. You could switch “PoC” for Muslim or Asian or any minority, and that very sad fact would still hold true. It’s f*cking gross.
Earlier this year I bought a fireplace insert and was stupid and stubborn enough to insist on carrying this giant, cumbersome, heavy-ass box home on the bus. It was challenging but right as I was about to get off the bus a young black woman saw me struggling and generously offered to help me carry it to my doorstep.
In 18 years of living in the city that was the first and last time a woman has ever offered to help me carry something. She just happened to be a WoC. My point is that none of the white ladies on the bus offered.
I live just across from the bus stop so her help wasn’t necessary but man I will never forget the fact that a perfect stranger saw me struggling and offered to help. That doesn’t happen often in the city I live in. It was really touching to me.
GNAT, why would you be grateful they didn’t punch you in the face? That is like saying that black people have a right to go around attacking white people because of a history neither of them experienced. It is not “our turn” to be attacked and degraded. It is our responsibility as human freaking beings to be kind to one another and rise above a very dark and scary history. I should be grateful that someone doesn’t punch me because I’m white? Not buying that bullsh*t at all.
“It is our responsibility as human freaking beings to be kind to one another and rise above a very dark and scary history.”
But Mimi that statement is coming from a place of privilege. Many things have not changed. We are not a post-racism society. We still live in a day and age when PoC are gunned down by white law enforcement and we expect that all PoC would trust us and welcome us with open arms? I think that’s what GNAT is getting at.
Look, as a white person the only way I can attempt to understand these things beyond how it is explained to me from our brilliant black commenters is to put myself in the shoes of a black person. And sorry, but the sh*t that has been happening with PoC being targeted by the very people who are here to protect us…well, I’m sorry but if it were me I wouldn’t feel particularly warm or trusting towards white people.
As white folks, we are unfortunately held accountable for our racist history as a whole. If you think this contradicts my anecdote above, then you should read my comment up-thread. We cannot erase slavery. We cannot pretend that never happened. Racism does not exist in a vacuum.
I’m certainly not saying that every black person is angry or distrustful of white people, but I refuse to blame them if they are. I believe that’s what GNAT was insinuating.
@Mimi
I’m pretty sure you know that’s not what I meant, but just carried what I said out to the extreme to justify your rejection of my point. It’s fine for you to disagree with me, but I’d prefer you go about it in a more straightforward way. Of course I don’t mean it’s our turn to be attacked and degraded. What good would that do? I meant that after everything that has been done to them because they’re black, by people who look like me, that I found a small, peaceful gesture of f* you to be understandable and within reason. Not that it’s a good thing, but I could understand it and be grateful that it wasn’t worse. Yes, it’s our responsibility as human beings to be kind to one another. And haven’t we done a great job? I’m not asking you to feel grateful that someone doesn’t punch you in the face. Just to accept that we have given them plenty of reason to want to. If you are going to expect them to rise above the dark history, you have to acknowledge that it happened.
“If you are going to expect them to rise above the dark history, you have to acknowledge that it happened.”
Beautifully said and you are correct in that we cannot be dismissive of our history. That just keeps us running in circles. It made me angry for you that you felt you were lucky that they didn’t harm you for simply being a white woman on a bus with a bunch of black people. Just like it would make me angry If I saw the opposite situation happening. That, by definition is racism and oppression. They stopped you from having the same rights as they did. But “reverse racism” doesn’t exist, right? If we accept it from one side, the other side will come crashing down and we’ll be right back at the beginning. It’s just very frustrating. Love each other, people!
On a very basic level the term “reverse racism” makes ZERO sense. Racism is racism. Racism in reverse would be NO racism.
@Mimi, I see your confusion, and I think part of the problem is my inability to put my feelings into the perfect words. I’m not saying that what they felt or did was ok, just that I can’t point a finger at them and say you are hating me just because I’m white and that means you’re bad, because they weren’t born hating (or disliking, maybe hating is too strong) me, they were taught to by people like me. We started it seems childish, but it’s like white people expect black people to just forget everything and it’s ok, you can trust us now, especially when they are still discriminated against every day. I also failed to point out that this was a long time ago, in the eighties, when PoC did not have as much of a voice as now and there wasn’t much conversation about it. Ugh, I’m frustrated by my inability to say what I mean here, I apologize. I guess it boils down to what others have said – you just can’t compare the two situations and say both are the same and both are equally wrong. Loving each other is the answer, but I think we have done a lot that makes us hard to love and we have to accept that.
@Kitten&GNAT
Thank you ladies for a very respectful and informative debate. Both of you are so well spoken and I enjoy your posts even if I might not always agree with your views. See, it is possible to disagree without insulting each other!
@Kitten
I absolutely agree. which is why I put that term in quotation marks. Racism is racism…
Oops sorry that I missed that part! Thank you for the respectful debate BTW.
Bias and discrimination? Most likely.
Racism? NO.
It’s so ludicrous to me that a “strong woman” apparently makes the controversy about another woman instead of the cheating husband she doesn’t have the balls to kick into the garbage. (Looking at Hillary, too.)
That’s some real feminism there.
So since it’s clear you didn’t listen to the song let me help you out:
Entire song bashing and insulting the male, mocking him for thinking he’s fooling her when he’s really hurting himself.
1 line referring to a woman and only in telling the man to go find her since she’ll put up with his nonsense.
Misrepresenting another woman’s words to fit an insulting mental narrative you have about her is some real feminism too huh?
So she’s not fooled and he should go find the women who’ll put up with his nonsense? If she’s still with him, she’s the one putting up with it.
I like Beyoncé – I think she’s freaking gorgeous and she’s amazing with her daughter – but I don’t admire the fact of someone letting themselves be openly humiliated by a husband.
The songs are in an anthology, much like the stages of recovery and mourning. That is the ‘angry’ song. It is not the end or the beginning of the conversation about loyalty and love she is having.
Furthermore, why are we talking something that has so much metaphor (and Beyonce repeatedly brings in other women into the video) and using it as a word for word biography of her life?
You really need to listen to the song if you’re going to discuss it because there’s a lot you’re missing.
But she didn’t do that. She made it about him. She mentions the other women only as part of her trying to make him understand how he hurt her. Her remarks aren’t addressed to the other women at all. They are beneath notice. They aren’t the problem – he is. And I left my cheating husband, and yes, that was strong, but that doesn’t mean her chouce is weak if he is truly sorry and will truly change. I think that’s her choice. And as much as I loathe Hillary, I think she made the choice to stay with Bill for many different reasons, including that she would gain politically from doing so. It was not the choice I would have made, but it wasn’t mine to make.
Her chouce? Is that even a word, Mr. Spellcheck knows better than me what I meant? I meant choice, obviously.
Okay GNAT, you made me look up chouse (not really, I always look up words I don’t know). Chouse means as a verb: to swindle and as a noun: a swindle.
Hey! Thanks! So it was her swindle. Lol
Are you kidding?
Read the lyrics to the song and come back.SMH
Ignorance is not bliss
You missed the point of the whole thing.
It’s actually the media that made the controversy about the “other woman”. By most informed accounts, the album is about a whole lot more than that. It’s not something I’d personally do, but a grown woman making an informed decision to forgive her husband’s infidelity isn’t what I’d call weak. The fact that you think it is tells me exactly what kind of feminist YOU are (see how fun that is).
It’s funny she wants to be called by her “real name” but it’s NOT Iggy lol ! I do believe she has the right to feel offended. We can’t tell people how they’re allowed to feel. I do think there can be a prejudice undertone to the term “Becky”. But Iggy is not the one…she has made numerous racist comments on twitter so who the hell is she to say anything?
Sir Lancelot loves them big booties I’m dying lol
I’m a WOC, and Eternal Side Eye’s definition /explanation of Becky is the ONLY way I’ve ever heard / understood the context of a “Becky.” All this other junk about being a woman who gives bjs, woman who sleeps with black men, etc, etc, is leaving me completely dumbfounded. WTF are you all even talking about? I grew up in the hood, where this slang is more likely to have been used (from my experience) and all this extended meanings garbage is making me LOL. Becky is NOT a slur, you guys. For example, if Kim K was my friend, I’d probably stop her mid-conversation and say, “Oh my God, Becky!” To her all the time simply because of how many times she says “like” or why she doesn’t understand certain urban cultural references that signal how very sheltered she is.
That’s it. Now let’s continue to dissect Lemonade so that Bey can finish revealing to us peons the meaning of life! LOL
Exaaaactly. Omg. I agree on all accounts. From growing up in the hood and hearing this term.. People are way off target here lol
The definition of insults and racial slurs can and do evolve over time. The original definitions usually become more inclusive or can even completely change. The context in which they are used can also shift. At this point, “Becky” is definitely being used in a racial context.
@mimi
The definition changed??? That’s news to me, I must have missed the urban girl memo :/
Lol, I’m only half serious. But seriously, I am truly not aware of this & most of the WOC on here are saying the same thing I am. And I’m not trying to be rude here, but this slang didn’t start in white society, nor is it as commonly used there as often as it is in urban POC society. It just seems like there are a lot of white women on here telling the rest of us that the definition has changed into something derogatory. Who changed it? We didn’t. Beyoncé’s song didn’t either as far as I can tell. Again, I’m not trying to be rude, this whole thing just seems so manufactured to me.
“It just seems like there are a lot of white women on here telling the rest of us that the definition has changed into something derogatory. Who changed it? We didn’t.”
Exactly.
DTX
The “official” definition may not have changed, but has probably become more inclusive and subjective than it’s origin. This happens all the time. “Gay” for example is now used to mean something completely different than it’s intended purpose. The official definition of a word, term, or slur might have no racial, sexist or otherwise derogatory meaning behind it. The same cannot always be said for the context in which it is used.
Mimi
I get what you’re saying but what I’m telling you is that although it may be true for some slang, it ISNT so for this particular one. There are people on this thread that are of the part of society in which this term is more commonly used (myself included) and nearly all of them are saying it isn’t derogatory. We don’t use it as slang for BJs or white mistresses or whatever new ideas are sprouting up everywhere. THATS WHAT WE ARE TRYING TO SAY. So many Urban/WOC are on here expressing bewilderment at all these new meanings and we are calling BS on it. Take it from a former “hoodrat” (another term us WOC are commonly called regardless of where we lived), unless you are extremely offended at being jokingly referred to as a sheltered, valley girl…MOST OF US are not calling you a home wrecker, sl@t, etc. I truly don’t know a single person who uses Becky in any that way. TRULY.
@DTX
I can assure you that the “becky” term has become much more derogatory than it once was. It is now regularly being used to refer to white women in a insulting way. It is not always used in a “joking” manner. I am also uncomfortable with it being used to describe white women who date black men, which I can also assure you is another very common context in which this term is used. Just because you and your friends don’t use it in those contexts, doesn’t mean that there aren’t a lot of people who do.
*Opens Thread*
*Decides she is too high/exhausted/ready to See Beyonce Later/busy at work for this*
Eternal and Naya and Nikki Girl doing God’s Work and I got to keep Cramming for my Beyonce Final at 7:00pm
*exits post*
I can’t help but laugh at white women crying over being called “Becky.” Total and absolute white fragility. I for the life of me don’t understand it, and I’m white myself. The tone deafness is astonishing to me.
^^Yes. So much this.
I think the Becky reference is to the fact that black men in general want white women. She is saying go ahead and go to Becky – to your white woman. Did her husband cheat with a white woman? Probably. Does this help the plight of black women to sing about it and call white women Becky? Probably not – it will make no difference to the lives of the average black women but……it sure makes for more attention and money making for these two.
I’m pretty sure that black men wanting white women in general is a racist assumption, not a “fact.”
This newly “woke” Iggy Azelea is going to have a fit when someone makes her listen to Iggy Azelea’s music.
I’m sorry but racism does not go just one way between white and black people. There is a huge amount of anti white racism in the black community. Words like cracker and Becky are derogatory , just like the n-word. I think we need to be more open minded here
No, actually, I think you need to try to understand the definition of racism. Because you don’t.
You are misinformed, Guest. Becky is not a slur. You obviously do not belong to the part of the community in which slang like this is commonly used, otherwise you would not say that Becky is “just like the n-word”. This whole thread is full of POC that are telling you it is not a slur and you really want to make it so. You’re hearing it from the horses mouth, so to speak, and are choosing to make it an insult anyway. It seems you have already made up your mind. That’s strange to me, but also a good lesson in human behavior.
@ Guest-Until I can find a building which has an entrance that says “Becky’s Only” then I’ll buy your definition of racism. Words and their meaning are important and what you’re talking about is not the same.
Agree. Sometimes the concept is too hard to accept.
I guess I wonder why any race would use a term that they know might be offensive to another race? It just seems senseless. If we are going to overcome the problems then all races must stop using offensive terms. If you read the posts you realize how crazy this has become on both sides . In fact racism is getting worse in the US not better. Really sad. I don’t think it will ever change – I think it will just get worse.
Agreed. But you should know that we don’t use “Becky” as a derogatory term. It is a sheltered, valley girl type by most people’s definition. It is much like calling former frat boys “Dude-Bros” That’s it. Heck, I even call my husband a Dude-Bro & he laughs.
So it’s not just about White girls then? I mean I have met some sheltered, valley girl type girls from every ethnicity.
It’s not just white girls! I’ve met Beckys of all ethnicities. It’s a teasing term, based on the idea of a blonde, sheltered, valley girl. It’s like when brunettes say, “I’m having a blonde moment” or someone jokes “are you sure you’re not a natural blonde?” After someone does something silly/stupid. It’s not meant as a legitimate insult.
VC said the same thing up-thread: that the term is not exclusively applied to white women. This has all been an education for me so thanks for all the patient explanations.
100% agree with you.
Dear lord. No. Just no. It is not racist to call someone ” Becky”. When that Plies song came out a few years ago my friends (both black and white) thought it was funny to sing “gimme that Becky” to me when I walked in a room. That was annoying, and perhaps a tad inappropriate on the guys part considering its slang for a BJ, but since I knew they were joking and were otherwise respectful to me, It never bothered me. But this racism thing is silly. Why is everyone constantly finding things to be outraged about? Must be exhausting
Uhhhhmmmm..”Most people understood the reference as I understood it: Beyonce was telling her husband to call one of his white side chicks” — simply put, NO. “Good hair” is almost NEVER in reference to white women, or white people’s hair. It’s a really, really, really eurocentric way of looking at the line. Another way for white people to attach themselves to any and everything – even an album that is very, very, very clearly about black women’s experiences.
I’m more concerned about her lack of brain matter. and the humongous size of her ego…. what a derp!
Who knew everyone would be so eager to be Becky with the Good Hair. Isn’t Rachael Roy being side eyed for basically naming herself as Becky and now Iggy wants to get in on that too.
Im late on this one… but i have to say. lets clarify for Iggy and anyone named Becky.
Becky describes an actions and not the visual description of a person. Its not a white person or a black person lol Its the actions of a person.
Iggy is so off base and coming from a woman who misappropriates an entire culture as well as changed her voice, tone/mannerisms to rap is now offended by misinterpreting the use of Becky is all kinds of irony.
OMG, the speshul fragile snowflakes in this thread are really something else.
1. A Becky is a white girl. Period. Maybe people use it on non-whites or to signify blow jobs or valley girls or side hoes, but within the community that created and for the most part uses the term — the black community — a Becky has always meant simply a white girl. It can be (and often is, ngl) used as an insult, but it’s not an inherently offensive term unless being white is inherently offensive to you.
2. Besides being a gross racist who has called herself a “runaway slave master”, Icky Afailea can’t be all that offended by this particular “racial slur” since she happily used the term in regards to herself in the song “I Think She Ready”: [Verse 2: Iggy Azalea]
Whatever
Okay okay okay
Now I think I’m ready, I rip tracks, spit confetti
She kill raps, lyrics deadly
16 sex, no R. Kelly
That’s no diss, a man want Becky
If you tell me you want Becky, give me Brian
That’s O’Brain, use your noodle – no spaghetti, ay
Iggy, I’m bossing for dollars, cups of Ciroc on the ice
Sounds like it’s only a “racial slur” now that a more powerful black woman has used it to call out her cheating man’s side hoe in a video event that days later is still trending worldwide; Icky’s just hitching a ride on Bey’s coattails. And it worked, because who would be talking about her otherwise? God knows she’d never be trending worldwide because of her actual art. Icky Afailea can take several seats, and all the fragile pearl clutchers can join her. Seats for everybody!
There is a rap song from a few years ago that says this: she gave me that Becky, last night it was so good I almost crashed my Bentley’
I have known for a few years it means BJ based on this.
There is a rap song from 1992 that says this:
Oh, my, God Becky, look at her butt
It is so big, she looks like
One of those rap guys’ girlfriends.
But, ya know, who understands those rap guys?
They only talk to her, because,
She looks like a total prostitute, ‘kay?
I mean, her butt, is just so big
I can’t believe it’s just so round, it’s like out there
I mean gross, look
She’s just so, black
I have known for over 20 years it means a white girl based on this. And now I feel really old, lol.
Oh please. If she weren’t a white girl, she would never have her success because she straight up sucks as a rapper. She has benefited from her color. She’s not downtrodden by it.
Iggy baffles me. She comes from Australia, a place where we will cut you the f-k down if you take yourself too seriously and are too sensitive about yourself. Maybe that’s why she left, didn’t like that people won’t respect you if you behave this way here.
Not that it’s working out better for her in the US. The difference is, in the US people get annoyed and slap her down whereas here they just laugh in your face and then behind your back.