I’ve written a lot of posts about Chrissy Teigen and all of the criticism the new Mom has faced on social media – even though the oversharing model sometimes brought it upon herself. I’ve maintained all along that I kind of feel bad she’s getting so much criticism from other “backseat mamas” about her every child-raising decision. I’m not a mother, but I know when someone is getting steamrolled for no reason. One thing I really hadn’t thought about until today is, why hasn’t Chrissy’s hubby John Legend been subject to the same attacks? I guess the singer, whose hit song “All of You” is played in every damn spin class I attend, was wondering the same thing.
A few weeks ago, after the birth of their adorable daughter Luna, John and Chrissy went out to an LA eatery for a date night. Some people online lost their damn mind, giving Chrissy a lot of grief and (once again) questioning her mothering skills. John, presumably, was spared from the vitriol, but took a moment to publicly muse on Twitter this week. He tweeted:
Funny there's no dad-shaming. When both of us go out to dinner, shame both of us so Chrissy doesn't have to take it all. We'll split it.
— John Legend (@johnlegend) May 11, 2016
Nice sentiment, John, but where were you a few weeks ago when Chrissy got comments like “That spotlight pull be strong. One week. Who wants to leave a one week old baby to go to a bar?” and “She’s hitting the streets already????” John, who was also out “neglecting” his newborn daughter, posts one (very sweet, I know) tweet and gets responses like “That’s why you’re the realest! Standing up for your wife, true love,” “Please marry me too,” and “relationship goals yet again.” Double standard much?
John was actually responding to a very funny segment on Monday night’s episode of The Daily Show, in which correspondent Desi Lydic talked about the Mom-shaming phenomenon. She made reference to the couple’s now infamous date night and the accusations that they were letting some random nanny care for their baby, stating, “it’s not like they’re getting their nanny off of Craigslist.” She added that the celebrity couple could “get Mary Poppins” to watch Luna. As a matter of clarification, Desi said, John and Chrissy could “call Julie Andrews and get her out of retirement to babysit.” John apparently loved the piece, retweeting it with the comment, “Luna’s first @TheDailyShow appearance. FYI, we only have Mary Poppins on weekends.”
Luna's first @TheDailyShow appearance. FYI, we only have Mary Poppins on weekends. https://t.co/5qMeGuMN7u
— John Legend (@johnlegend) May 11, 2016
I like that John finally spoke up and defended his wife, but I feel bad that he had to even speak up in the first place. Celebs have done and said some dumb stuff, but as far as parenting goes, Chrissy has been a model Mom. I know the anonymity afforded by the internet brings out the trollery, but why not save it for someone who truly deserves it? Put me firmly on #TeamLeigen (sorry, they can’t all be as catchy as “Gwake”).
YESSSSS.
I kind of love him, even though she tends to annoy me.
There needs to be WAY more responsibility on men for what’s going on with kids – and if I hear one more time “oh my husband is babysitting” – YOUR HUSBAND IS PARENTING.
Yes, this grates my last nerve! Anytime my best friend texts to make plans, she’ll always say, “John said he will babysit the girls.” Um, no, he will do his job as their father and do his share of their rearing.
in all fairness, there are a lot of women who lay the “babysitter” moniker on their husbands, even when their husbands are very hands on and engaged (and quite a few of those women undermine their husband’s role as father in doing so). I have one friend who did that and would diminish him with comments about how she was their mother and she did everything and she didn’t want his opinion, etc.). After they finally divorced, she commented that she wished he had pulled his weight as the kids’ father when they were married they way he did after they split. She wasn’t too happy when we pointed out that she didn’t, exactly, give him the opportunity to do so when they were married and kept telling him he was just a babysitter
Thank you Erinnn!!! I’m a stay at home mom, NOT a nanny. So my husband is a father, NOT a babysitter.
That is one of my biggest pet peeves.
That drives me nuts too.
OMG YES! I HATE it when people say that. It’s not babysitting when it’s YOUR kid(s). It’s PARENTING.
Just goes to show how childcare often still “defaults” to the woman. She’s responsible until she has to specifically ask for help. He’s free and off the hook until he’s specifically asked to pull a shift.
Yes, the ol’ line “my husbands is playing babysitter for a few hours” makes me want to throw my iPhone at people. La sigh. You CANNOT babysit your own children!!!!!!! Insane statement and so dumb. It’s because in this world, we as women, are expected to do 99% of the child raising. It’s total BS. Then why do real everyday dads get passes nonstop. I don’t care who is working outside the house, you are still a full time parent also!
Annoying story of the week: out to dinner with family, our baby poops his diaper. I look at my husband because I have a thing with public restroom and the food hadn’t came out yet. Lol. I probably wouldn’t have ate my food if I stepped foot in the bathroom to change the baby diaper. I hand baby to husband and he grabs baby and the diaper bag and takes off to change the diaper. Mind you, it was the first diaper of THE DAY my husband had changed and it was dinner time. He was PRASIED AND WORSHIPED for being the ‘worlds greatest dad’ for changing that one diaper?!?!?!?!?! Seriously, I was told how lucky I am 100 times and I said, I changed the other 10 diapers that day so it was his turn. NOBODY WOULD HAVE SAID SHIT IF I GOT UP AND CHANGED THAT DIAPER!!!!!! Drives me insane!!!!!!!!
That would be annoying as hell. Amazing how men can do one little domestic thing and get praised all over the place. Meanwhile, mom’s do most of the work, and get little or no thanks. That’s not always true, of course, but many times it is.
I don’t know….I use the term babysitting all the time! It’s just semantics to me. If someone says, Where are the kids, I’ll say “Oh hub’s babysitting them tonight since I did last week when he went to his game.”
I mean look at the word “baby” “sitting”. Sitting with babies so they don’t maim themselves. To me that doesn’t imply they aren’t normally yours to watch. But maybe that’s just me. I supposed i could say “watching” instead since people are suddenly so up in arms about the term.
Yes, I use the Dutch equivalent for babysitting when either one of us is solely responsible for the kid. We take turns in giving the other parent some free time while the other one is the babysitter.
Lol so true John! After 9 months of incubating I’d want the night off! Some “Mother of the year” types should of back off. I think some of the naysayers were from jealous women who can’t see a pretty gal without judgement on something. Oh wells can’t live for others…
I understand he’s sticking up for his wife, but how about he just say stop bothering my wife. Or tell her to ignore it.
It wasn’t a big deal anyway, the reason people troll Chrissy Teigen is because they know she will respond back.
Doesn’t excuse the comments she receives.
Because she is not the only mom getting these comments so we need to address the issue of why there is no dad shaming.
Because he has his wife’s back, like she has his, and because the mom-shaming crap is out of control. People are insane.
He’s a peach and she’s a lucky wife. Dumbest controversy ever but I get why he needed to speak out. These “mothers” have waaaay to much time on their hands….
I want to believe that most of the trolls aren’t moms, but unhappy teenagers. Moms need to bond together and support each other’s choices; none of this shaming nonsense. We all know how hard it is! Lighten up!
That said, is it better to go out for dinner as a mom or spend your time trolling celebrities on twitter? One seems healthy and normal, the other seems… Like you’re sad for their kids.
Sadly, some of the nastiest pieces of works I’ve seen are on those ‘mommy group’ boards. MEAN MEAN MEAN. And oh my god, some of the advice they throw is so dangerous.
Sadly you would be wrong…mommy wars are a thing
YES! That is what I do not understand–these superiority-complex moms criticizing Chrissy for going on a date with the father of her child while they are spending their own precious mothering time reading and commenting on Chrissy’s Twitter feed! They’re always on their high horses about how busy they are taking care of their children, how much time they devote to breastfeeding until age five, curating artisinal wooden toys, preparing everything-free baby food, etc… but from what I can see, this is impossible because they are always on the Internet.
I’m seriously shocked that people were upset that she went out to dinner. I missed that last week. Totally true that if she went out to dinner with him it’s so typical that she was the only one shamed, but really? Because she went out to dinner?
I find this odd also, GNAT. I have a large, extended family and child-rearing is pretty much a collective effort. It would be completely normal in my family for the parents of a newborn to go out to dinner with a relative watching the baby. In fact, even if the parents didn’t particularly want to go, they would probably be SENT out to dinner by a load of rellies who had stolen the baby away for their “turn”!
Right. I mean, they should have a little treat after all that, right? A glass of wine, someone else cooking a nice meal. It’s dinner ffs, two or three hours. Your family sounds so nice, by the way.
She mentioned in one Instagram post that her parents live with them, so I figured grandma and grandpa were watching the baby. But even if the baby was with a nanny, who cares?
Agreed. Taking care of your relationship is just as important as taking care of your baby. I know women with babies at home who say they haven’t been on a date in a year or more. There’s a reason some many couples get divorced when babies are little. Going on dates without baby is a good thing for the whole family because it ensure the bond between parents is solid.
People were annoyed that she had the baby and looked like she was back to her old self sans baby.
The trolling and negative comments had more to do with jealousy that she was back to being thin and didn’t look tired or frazzled.
That is just my opinion.
Didn’t you know that we’ve seen the 21st century, decided it sucked, and went back to 1962? Let me tell you, this didn’t surprise me at all. Many many of the women around me who are mostly in their 30s and are now having babies, are so effin’ pathetic, judging other “friends'” homes based on tidiness and cleanliness, judging the kids’ development (MINE could talk at that age), clothes etc. etc. It’s a damn jungle out there and the focus is the home and the children. Work? Eh. Happiness? Please. Loving your child? Well, if you must. But please, keep up appearances for the rest of us lest you be judged for being a BAD MOMMY! You are supposed to love pregnancy and being covered in spit-up. You should be grateful that you have a child and spend 24/7 with it. And LOVE it.
God you’re so right. Your post gave me chills. What has happened to women today?? I’m one of those horrid working moms that have a career and a moderately clean house. The horror!
That’s awful! It’s hard! Part of the time it completely sucks – even I know that. No wonder people have ppd.
The twitter lot can be extremely hateful. I side with celebs on that matter, and it shocks me people reply to that with “stop whining”. Have you read the actual mean tweets people write? The ones Jimmy Kimmel can’t possibly show live? They are extremely hurtful, and under no circumstance it’s okay to defend something like that.
Agree. The tweets are obnoxious as hell, especially the ones directed at Chrissy Tiegen.
Nothing wrong with them going out to dinner a week after having a baby. Did Ivanka Trump get this much slack when she “snuck” (according to DM) away from her newborn to go into work? Don’t think so or if she did she ignored it. It’s great John defended her, but a week later? Why not right away?
I can understand feeling awestruck that they were comfy enough with whomever was taking care of the baby so soon, just because many people don’t have that advantage and especially with the first, tend to be reluctant to take a break so early after birth. But that doesn’t mean they’re bad parents, just that they’re lucky parents. That Mary Poppins must be costing them a fortune… 🙂 But in other times and cultures, there were always other related adults around to help out. And the mom here recovered physically amazingly fast, recovery time is probably a big reason why more women don’t wander far from home in the early days unless they really must.
And it is peculiar that wrath was directed against mom and not dad. Dads don’t get trashed for leaving the baby at any time, and they usually do pretty early if only to go to an outside job. They’re not recovering from the birth, after all, except possibly from the emotional trauma.
Mom shaming is women shaming women.
Women love to feel better about themselves by bringing down other women.
Dad’s wouldn’t shame other dad’s. It doesn’t make them feel better
Not true. I’m very judgmental towards other dads who leave their ex partners with the lion’s share of raising their kids so they can focus on socializing and getting laid.
One exception.
Eh I’m pretty sure moms judging dads is an extremely common thing too, actually.
But I agree . it’s important to point out most of those mom-shaming tweets are written by women. We’re being misogynistic towards ourselves and that must not be tolerated.
@ willful exactly !
@ Wilful
You’re so right. Women are other women’s harshest critics. We are also very good at standing by when men are taking a woman down.
They picked on the wrong woman, this guy has her back. All of him loves all of her…back off chicas.
I don’t live their life, so I can’t judge.
After all they went through to have their child, I seriously doubt that either one of them are about to turn around and become neglectful parents. Fame-ho’s or not, they don’t strike me as people who wouldn’t care about their kid.
” I guess the singer, whose hit song “All of You” is played in every damn spin class I attend, was wondering the same thing.”
Got to love the mainstream music fans who just have to do their favourite songs to death. It’s a shame the rest of us have to be subjected to it too.
Good for him. He has an excellent point.
I followed Chrissy after I saw her defend P!nk against trolls but it’s been downhill since then. She lives for the trolls. She loves them. She feeds off of them. I have never seen her reply a compliment but a bad comment? she’ll sniff it out from a mile away. For reference, most twitter users personalise their mentions to only get notified when they get @s from only people they follow but I think Chrissy leaves it on to get from everyone. It’s just like Piers Morgan, if you want a reply, use bad grammar. In fact, she’s known to search her name just to give clapbacks. You don’t even have to mention her.
What am i trying to say, she doesn’t get shamed as much as she portrays instead she picks out the 3 trolls out of the 1 million actually complimenting her. At this point, she’s known for her social media than for her work.
I thought I was the only one who noticed this. She LOVES attention, and John is an arrogant a-hole (believe me). She’s good friends with the Kardashians if that gives you an idea of how famewhory she is…
She responds ALL the time to compliments, answers fans questions, jokes with them, etc. It is very disingenuous to assert that she doesn’t. But she does reply to trolls too. She firmly believes that just because she is a celeb, she shouldn’t have to just accept horrible horrible things said to her. She will respond back to a nasty troll with a very biting remark, to let them know she noticed, to call them out and to show them how it feels. She speaks up all the time about why she does this. Internet trolling and bullying is a problem – she thinks these people should get noticed and held accountable. Most of these people who send those super nasty things to celebs thing they’re having fun, they’ll never get called out. It always shocks them when they get addressed. It’s why a lot of people do respect her, because she handles this. But that certainly is not even half of her twitter activity.
I agree. Chrissy can be a bit much on social media but I really do respect her for calling out the trolls on twitter. It is NOT okay for anons to treat people like that and everyone should start questioning why society tolerates (and even defends!) this sort of stuff.
I’m always amazed at how people think answering a bully or standing up for yourself makes you a bitch. Who cares if she’s a famewhore or not? People love to attack mothers on social media and accuse them of bad parenting. It’s very rarely dads. And whatever she and John are or aren’t, who cares? This needed to be said. Who attacks a mother for daring to go out to eat with the child’s father, who miraculously escapes criticism? The comments said she should be at home staring at a sleeping baby, and John should be making music. Come on! Don’t have a kid and then dump it off, but going to dinner shouldn’t be such a shock.
I saw it as him commenting becaose he was mentioned on TDS, not that he was a week late to comment about having dinner with Chrissy. Chrissy can take care of her own on social media.
I loved John for his music before he became known as Chrissy Teigen’s husband (being sarcastic here). I mean, does a day pass when either of them isn’t in the news? And it’s almost never about their ”talent”.
Maybe he is just like most of us and only thought up with the best comeback a week later.
We can’t all be witty.
I love him for speaking out. I’m so sick of that double standard. I feel the same way about cards/gifts for family members. In my marriage, my husband and I are responsible for making sure we get a card/gift to our long distance family members, but if its for his parents/siblings it is his responsibility to see it through. And yet, if he doesn’t do it, I get blamed by his family because they see it as a responsibility that typically falls to the wife. Drives me nuts!
While I’m super happy he is speaking out, and SURELY people with fresh babies shouldn’t feel any type of way about being able to have or afford the help to take themselves for some me time for whatever it is they choose to do with that time, I also wish we wouldn’t act like Chrissy Teigen doesn’t LIVE for having attention, she is very Kardashian adjacent in that respect although infinitely less grating ( But Grating still!)
He’s absolutely right and we need more men to point out that ridiculous double standard. I love they way he so obviously adores his wife. Their daughter is beautiful.
I love him and he is so sweet. And it is true women are held to a different standard which is rediculous glad he called it out.
He’s so right. This continues for years too – when teenagers do something idiotic people always go “where was her/his MOM?”
I love his tweets and Chrissy’s. So refreshing. He’s absolutely right. The people who shame Chrissy and other women aren’t shaming him because they’re the kind of people with the mentality that when a dad watches his kids he’s “babysitting”. No. Dads don’t babysit. It’s called “parenting”.
He seems like such a great guy, and he’s been talking about gender issues for a while now. Glad to see he’s still doing it.
wtf. my very own mother told me if i procreated to have PLENTY of good sitters lined up because you need a break, for an hour, an afternoon, anytime, just a GD break once in a while. what’s wrong with taking care of yourself so you CAN BE THE BEST MOM TO YOUR CHILD?!?!?! when did having kids mean you have to deprive and punish yourself?
good for him but a little late. he is also the child’s parent so the responsibility falls on him 100% as well.
I think the cost of childcare these days is pretty daunting. It’s not like the fifty cents per hour teenage babysitter days of my youth. A friend figured that when he had to work on a Saturday when his wife was out of town, so they had to hire someone to stay with the two grade school age kids, he ended up making minus five cents per hour. Yup, he had to pay the babysitter more than he made. But he had to work because the staff traded off on Saturday duty. I honestly don’t know how most people can afford to go anywhere while the kids are too young to stay home alone.
These two fame-whores have officially gained Kardashian-level attention seeking. Get off social media if you don’t want to hear any criticism, it’s not rocket science. They are milking the spotlight for all it’s worth, I seriously don’t even know what she is “famous” for? I am so sick of these celebrities posting their personal lives all over social media, and then crying like babies when their fat egos don’t get stroked.
In this instance he’s speaking up to defend his wife and point out the obvious misogynistic double standards. Choosing to be active on social media, even as a celebrity, is not an invitation to abuse. And very, VERY often criticism on social media crosses that line to outright abuse. If a woman buys formula at the supermarket in full view of all the other shoppers in the supermarket, she’s not inviting anyone to come up to her and give her a lecture on “breast is best”. When Chrissy Teigen and John Legend step out for dinner a few weeks after she’s given birth, she’s not inviting a bunch of judgmental people who get off on blowing up a celebrity’s Twitter mentions to lecture her on how to be a good mother. People have lost any rational sense of where the line is with the accessibility social media provides us. Most — probably none — of the people who attacked her on Twitter would have walked up to her in the restaurant and spewed the same self-righteous BS in person. And to be honest, they don’t really care. This child has wealthy celebrity parents and undoubtedly is getting top notch care. Maybe they should invest their feelings of moral righteousness into a more worthy and productive cause.
Very well said. +1000000000000
Chrissy chose to document her life,her pregnancy, and now her baby (ad nauseum I might add), all over social media. To the point that she’s impossible to avoid. So yeah, that opens up her personal life to public scrutiny. It’s 100% her decision. While “abuse” may not be ok, as it’s never ok, she stepped right into this, and of course people have the right to think they can comment on whatever she does, because she jams it down our throats 24/7. This woman has ZERO filter, zero boundaries, and when it comes back to bite her, she cries wolf. The hypocrisy drives me nuts.
YES, YES, YES! Why do we even have to know the comings and goings of these people at all. STFU about your personal life and no one will say anything. Not a hard concept.
But if they choose to put some photos out there, no one is making you look at them. She’s a top model and he’s a talented musician. I don’t think they need their personal lives to sell anything. It’s the millenial version of watching vacation pictures on a screen or seeing someone’s photo album. Putting some photos out there shouldn’t invite venom. There are people who put pictures out there and get racist or anti-Semitic or misogynist comments. Do they invite those comments because of their skin color or faith or gender? All a person has to do is say, “not interested” and move on.
Notice that mom-shaming only comes from other moms. And moms behind their computers and not with their kids, at that! It’s like…dude, you’re harping on her for going out…but you have enough time to sit behind a computer and do this? No life, no life. Misery loves an internet connection!
So glad I don’t want to procreate.
Me neither! Not really a club I want to join…
Don’t worry there’s lots of normal moms! In fact I’m convinced the nasty/judgmental ones are by far a small, small (but loud online) minority.
I’ve only ever been ‘shamed’ online…never in real life. Though the online stuff is hurtful so you have to learn to ignore it (things like telling you you’re giving your child “rat poison” if you can’t breastfeed and other horrible things people say online which can definitely hurt your feelings).
All my mom friends in real life are supportive and even other moms that I just meet out and about are generally really nice too. The only ‘negative thing’ is sometimes I say hi to other moms and they turn out to not be friendly but that’s it. The vast majority are friendly.
Great point on how people patted him on the back for speaking up. Seriously, this is what you’re judging parenting on? My husband and I went out to eat when our first was 2 weeks old, because we just needed those few hours. She’s a 12 year old honor student now, so apparently it didn’t faze her. All the crap you freak out about when they’re little makes you cringe when they’re older. And stop being so damn judgmental; what’s with these cyber kangaroo courts?
Chrissy brings it on herself by constantly responding. She started doing this years ago. I sometimes wonder if she’s that insecure or more likely, she has some anger issues? Her once refreshing honesty has become annoying.
Chrissy brings it on herself by constantly responding. She started doing this years ago. I sometimes wonder if she’s that insecure or more likely, she has some anger issues? Her once refreshing honesty has become annoying. I also think Chrissy lives on drama.