Lindsay Lohan’s new movie is already getting a lot of attention as the most terrible 90 minutes of the year. A few random samplings of review headlines include “Lohan’s new movie one of the worst of the year” “’I Know Who Killed Me’ another low for Lohan” “Just kill me, please” “How bad is Lohan’s latest? You don’t want to `Know’” “Career killer for Lohan” and “Lohan’s bad week just got worse with release of her new film” – and I wasn’t cherry picking headlines. I can’t actually bring myself to pay $11 for anything with Lindsay Lohan, so all I can do is tell you what everyone else is saying about her film. First off, she plays two characters. Never an indication of an Oscar-worthy film (Freaky Friday anyone?). One of her characters wakes up minus a hand and a foot, insisting that she’s not an up-and-coming writer, but a stripper. Now this is sounding eerily familiar, with uncomfortable parallels to my own life.

“There’s a fresh candidate in the running for worst movie of 2007 honors. ‘I Know Who Killed Me,’ a ridiculous thriller (minus the thrills) starring the embattled Lindsay Lohan in a dual role, has all the hallmarks necessary for qualification: A nonsensical plot that grows sillier by the second, tawdry special effects, heavy-handed symbolism that’s big on electric-blue hues and mechanical performances are all culprits as far as the title’s concerned.”

[From the Hollywood Reporter]

Can anyone really say they’re that surprised Lohan’s movie stinks to high heaven? We all know the only reason she even took the role was those free pole dancing classes she got to take. In other Lohan news, it turns out she is still insurable, according to experts, but it will be a challenge. Most likely, she will have to put her salary in escrow until the end of any film she works on for the next few years.

“’I don’t think it (a problematic artist) is any more of an issue [thank it ever was],’ said Wendy Diaz, entertainment underwriting director at Fireman’s Fund Insurance Co., the leading film underwriter. ‘It’s pretty standard year to year.’

“But Diaz did say the terms for covering Lohan would likely be ‘serious at this point.’

“She said Fireman’s Fund, in such a case, would likely put in higher deductibles, or ask the star to put their salary into escrow to pay for any losses if production was disrupted.”

[From CNN]

So she’s not out of the running due to insurance – the article goes on to discuss other troubled actors, like Robert Downey Jr., who was still able to work. The biggest issue for Lohan seems to be: would anyone want to work with her? Lately it seems that everything she touches goes to hell, whether it’s films or friends. Why would a director want to work with her, considering all she has going against her at this point? I’m sure, at the very least, she’ll have to take a serious hit on her salary demands. Lindsay could also, (hopefully) be facing some serious jail time, and probable lawsuits. I wish I could end this story with one of those optimistic “hopefully now she’ll realize the error of her ways and get her life back together” sentences, but we all know that’s bull. She’s going to crash and burn, and keep doing it until she dies. I know I’m going to get angry comments for that, but considering everything that Lohan has done to herself that hasn’t made her change her behavior, do we really think even jail could straighten her out at this point?

Picture note by Celebitchy: Here are stills from the film, courtesy of Allmoviephoto. The trailer is below, and it probably doesn’t do justice to how truly awful this film must be.