I’ve said before that I’m missing The Bride Gene, although I do enjoy talking/writing about weddings. I enjoy gossiping about wedding gowns, bridesmaids’ gowns, wedding receptions, food and of course, wedding cake. I’ve always wanted to see more of Beyonce’s wedding stuff, but for years, we didn’t get anything. No photos, no wedding portraits, not even a glimpse of her dress. But several years back, she started using some of the footage from her wedding during her concerts (the above screencap is from a concert), and then for her HBO documentary, we saw even more.
Basically, Beyonce’s wedding gown wasn’t anything special? I feel bad for saying that, but it’s true. Her wedding gown looked cheap. It was strapless, with a sweetheart bust and it didn’t even look like it fit her properly. Which just goes to show you what I always say about Bey: she’s an icon in many ways, but fashion is not one of those ways. Even on her wedding day, Beyonce sort of phoned it in. As it turns out, Beyonce let her mother, Tina Knowles Lawson, design her wedding dress, which is just the kind of thing a mother would guilt her daughter into early on, trapping the daughter in a cycle of mom-guilt and disappointment throughout the wedding planning. I know, because I’ve watched many episodes of Say Yes To the Dress. Anyway, Tina was interviewed on the Today Show this week, and she admitted that Beyonce said (in the most daughterly way ever) that she wasn’t happy with her dress.
Talking to the Today show about designing her daughter’s gown, Tina Lawson said, “She was so sweet to let me do that. She came back later one day and she said, ‘You know, when my daughter gets married, I’m going to let her pick out her own dress. Maybe she wasn’t so excited about it at the time, but she’s a sweetheart.”
I can feel the mom-guilt from here. Beyonce was probably trying to tell her mom AHEAD of the wedding that she would have preferred another gown, but Tina was all “lalalalala I can’t hear you.” Poor Beyonce.
You can see a good shot of Beyonce’s wedding gown around the 2:25-mark of this video:
And here’s Tina’s Today interview.
Photos courtesy of WENN, Fame/Flynet, screencap of wedding.
I’m missing the bride gene too, but I also love looking at wedding gown pictures. And yeah, her wedding dress is bad.
As for Say Yes to the Dress, some of those mothers are nuts. I saw one episode where a mom brought pieces of her own wedding dress to the appointment and insisted her daughter find a gown that she could attach those pieces to.
I sometimes watch that tv show and its like Abnormal Psychiatry on location the behaviors you see. Luckily there was no drama at my wedding -it was fairly sedate and simple compared to some I’ve attended. Now my poor Sister in law had her Mother turn into Mother-of-the-bridezilla she took over and ran it and my sister in law just laughed it off but the minister made a disparaging comment to me about it and how shocked he was by her actions.
My eyes were hurt looking at that get up Beyonce is wearing exiting her building-all that money she has can’t buy good taste.
I saw that one too! It was sweet, in a way, but also really awkward and weird.
I’m also missing the bridge gene. I let my mom and my now ex plan my wedding. I had minimal input, except for the dress, I did choose that. The wedding turned out beautifully, can’t say the same thing for the marriage, though. Second marriage, went down to the court house, over in 2 minutes. Perfect.
I’m missing the whole wedding gene. I hate weddings. If people tell me “we’re getting married!”, the first thing that comes to my mind is “Do I have to be there?” before the usual “Congratulations”. But I know it is not acceptable to ask that 😉
I just don’t care about weddings. Walking down the aisle with everyone looking at me is a nightmare! Not going to happen.
Agreed. Wedding planning seems like a nightmare job to me. This is why I went to Mexico with 30 close friends and family. You spend like an hour picking flowers and such and boom, it’s all set up for you. Bonus beach vacation thrown in as well. For those of you wedding haters that have friends and family who can afford it, and you like the beach, I highly recommend it. I’ve been to two other beach destination weddings and they were a blast too.
I don’t like them either and hope I don’t get invited when I hear someone’s engaged lol
I can tell you as a wedding planner that it’s far tougher being the bride…I got married last year and the planning process was seamless minus my maid of honor situation and trying to please everyone. It really is one of those situations where you do what you want but you HAVE to put the guests needs ahead of your own when it comes to food and drinks and travel…as for the dress, I hated the experience of trying on dress after dress and them looking the same but when I found my dress, I did experience the tears and goosebumps I hoped for. My mom came with me to every dress shop and was so sweet so I do feel bad for brides whose family or friends take over…
I allowed my daughter to pick her own wedding dress and I paid for it. What she chose, I paid for.
Beyonce could arrange a small wedding celebration to “renew vows” and do the dress and the ceremony the way she wanted, without mom’s “expertise” and take lots of photos, that way she doesn’t have to look at that “mom chose this dress”, when she could have updated photos of a better designed dress that makes her happy.
Wow. My mother would never put me in that position. How selfish. I think mothers forget sometimes that this is not their wedding.
My mom would. If I do get married I refuse to let my parents help financially. Of course, it would be too much of a financial burden for them, but my mom would try to take over cuz it’s “her money”.
But Beyonce seems to be incredibly respectful towards her parents. It’s one of those moments when someone else’s happiness brings you joy so you are okay with it. At the end of the day, it’s just a dress the marriage is more important.
My Mom did and she is the type to lord over you this stuff and demand you do X,Y,Z and THEN as she is throwing the party if say you decline a set of pics or are otherwise busy she WILL throw a Tantrum ( see my Sister’s wedding/showers/children’s births etc) and then all her Mom b*llshit power and my ex’s mom just led to an Elopement (we’ve since divorced, veeerrryyyyyy young marriage) but now I neither have the time/body/patience/inclination in the least to do weddingy things or pick dresses now and my BF is the entire opposite, he keeps a tally of things at weddings we attend/ranks em, gives me his take of how we’d do it etc -__- Meantime I fairly beg my gfs to NOT pick me for anything other than to attend
I would love to have a big, fun wedding but I’ve resigned myself to getting eloped at the courthouse because of my mother. Even if I was paying for all of it myself she would just scream, sob, rage, and make my life miserable if I wasn’t doing things her way.
She would totally do this, and if I dared say anything about not liking it, probably have a full blown toddler meltdown.
Silver lining, at least this forces me to save my money.
My mom wouldn’t either. Picking out wedding dresses were incredibly special memories for my sister and I with my mom. She made it into such a day of fun. I was nervous, because of prices, and she calmed me down. We have a family wedding veil that was first used by my great-grandmother in 1910. All of my aunts, my mom, and myself used it. I could tell that my mom really wanted us to use this veil, but she was never pushy at all. It wasn’t a problem for me, because I had dreamed of getting to use that veil for years. My sister, however, wanted a more modern style and no veil. Mom has never tried to guilt her about it. In our wedding planning, she’s always been about trying to make what we really want happen – even though we were both on shoestring budgets. That is the way it should be, you know.
One of my BFF’s was getting married and didn’t wanted a party, her parents insisted on, offering to pay for it and her mom, since she was paying for everything, accepted no opinions and did wherever she wanted.
Obviously money was not Beyonce’s problem, so maybe if she could’ve said something.
My mother so would. My childhood/teenhood was overt and subtle guilt, and 100% (attempted) dominance over hair, clothes, friend choice, you name it. That’s why I’m the other extreme with my girls. I would like certain hairstyles or matching outfits (they’re little), but I never force. Aside from safety issues, it’s all fair game- toys, clothes, hair.
I was guilted into wearing a dress, and a white dress at that. I’m not a dress person in the slightest, I can count on one hand the times in my adult life I’ve worn a dress. And I hate white. My dress was awesome and I loved it, but the whole “omfg you’re a bride and brides wear white dresses end of discussion” thing still pisses me off.
I did wear turquoise moccasins with it (which my mom hated, bwahahaha), and pinned up my hair to show off the shaved side, so at least I wasn’t completely boring looking and mom-approved.
Makes me think Beyonce is a “pleaser” and this kind of thing happens all the time. Her mother seems either oblivious to Bey’s wants and needs or Tina just plain doesn’t care cause she’s too busy living vicariously through Bey. Makes me not like her mother.
I always thought this dress wasn’t Beyonce. I was surprised when I saw her in it but didn’t know her mom was involved. It was not for her.
Spot on, dress was OK but not for her. Makes sense why she never posted pics, mom thought it would help her design career if the dress was on mags but Bey did not like it. BTW, looooove the purple shoes!!!
Everything that woman designs looks cheap. Her designs have always looked like something from a Fargo Wal-Mart.
Sadly true.
Horrible, looked like a cheap hoe with high price tags. Even Ivy Park line, its nice but nothing special for those prices. Bet said no athletic wear spoke to her thus she wanted her own line, I was expecting to see what spoke to her n it was just business.
Hah! Walmart alone would be bad but a Fargo Walmart takes it truly next level bad! 🙂
Bey made up for it in her video where she got married…Best Thing (You Never Had) or something like that? Now THAT was a Beyonce wedding dress!
And the groom…SWOON!!!
I love a black and white themed wedding. So chic.
Did she really though? The detail on the top was different and imo beautiful but the structure was still your standard princess ballgown. I had to Google because I knew the design was basic-ish so not very memorable. So yeah, it was very Beyoncé meaning still bland and inoffensive. Another celebrity with a real bland style is Jolie and even she was able to bring it with her wedding dress which I happen to like. Beyoncé just proved that without her mom, she still manages to be uninspired.
Beyoncé still has basic taste and Tina’s (HoD) was subpar, she never upgrades that much from her regular taste.
So of course I had to go straight away and look that up. Oh my goodness, who is that beautiful man???
Juan Crawford. He’s gorgeous!
How is he not a bigger deal? Damn fine.
Her Mom told this as an amusing anecdote?? This whole story made me sad. The fact of Beyonce telling her mother later that she thinks she’ll let her daughter pick out her own wedding dress…
What the hell is wrong with her mother?! So selfish. I worry about my friends (like Beyonce here) being too polite.
Or am I just too blunt? I would have said, “Hell no but, nice try. You’ve lived your life and got to make your own decisions, now let me make mine.”
Sad is right. It’s not funny or cute that’s for sure. How dumb is Tina Knowles to not realize how bad she’s making herself look and still not seeing how selfish that was on her part even in hindsight? Makes Bey look like a “pleaser” which explains alot and makes her mother look dense.
It DOES explain a lot about Beyonce. So many contradictions between what she sings, says and acts as being in favour of vs. what she puts up with just to have a husband for one thing. I have eternal difficulty even listening to or following her career because she seems entirely contrived, manufactured and uninteresting. Now I understand a little bit more as to why.
Tina Knowles designs were awful no wonder B didn’t want her to design her wedding dress.
Tina seemed know that she could guilt Beyoncé into wearing her fashion line which is why for a time that’s all she wore. Solange is the opposite she doesn’t mind being upfront with her mom about that not being her style and has said something to that fact in the past.
Yeah the dress is nothing special and her mom does seem to be a bit overbearing. Celebrity families are great with the overshare!
My mother refused to pay for my gown (which was fine because she didn’t have any money and while I was a “kid” at 22, I was working and could pay for it), and didn’t come with me on any appointments with the dressmaker.
On the day of my wedding she never commented on how I looked except to say that she didn’t like my gown.
I don’t have a daughter, but would absolutely support whatever she’d want to do for HER day.
Beyonce has awful style but for me, her wedding dress is one of her loveliest looks, since it’s so simple and elegant unlike all of the flashy gawdy looks she usually sports.
But it does appear cheaply made, that awful flower, or whatever that is…no.
That’s horrible, Myrna. I’m sure you looked beautiful, and your mother should have told you that you did.
I had a similar experience. It was hurtful at the time but I chose to focus on my own happiness. Some people just don’t know how to be happy for others and usually are their own worst enemies. I have a daughter now and will support her in developing her own character and sense of self but in a healthier way. Let this upbringing inspire into being a great parent Myrna (should you chose to be one some day)
Thank you, Michelleb and anonymous.
I am a mother myself now with sons.
The wedding gown scenario is just one of the examples (and one of the kinder ones) I can give on life with my mother.
In spite of my own experience as a child/daughter, I have emerged as a loving, supportive mom and am so proud of my own ability to love and guide my sons.
Every day I reflect on my capacity to love my boys and how fortunate I am.
They love and respect me…nothing to compare!
Some people, my mother included, are severely flawed.
We are all flawed to some degree…absolutely.
But not everyone has the ability or desire, for that matter, to overcome – they lack introspection and are selfish.
My mother is one of those people.
@Myrnah my mom exited my life (moved across the country with her scummy husband) and I always felt like I had missed out. But now I see it was a blessing. When she reentered my life, she’d make comments about my hair like “it’s so DARK” (it’s brown. It has always been brown. But I don’t dye it blonde like her), my kids names “…..Oh” and then purposely mispronounces them- all kinds of those little side comments. I’m kind of a passive person when people try to dominate me, so had she been there all along I’m sure my life would be very different.
I understand, Mato.
There are some women who are not meant to be mothers.
I know of mothers who never have anything positive to say and who nitpick and that’s annoying as hell.
Perhaps your situation is at a different level given you state your mom moved away with a man?
Sometimes being apart and not having them close works out.
Especially when the relationship is toxic, as they say.
For me?
Would anyone understand when I say that my mother is the enemy?
I’ve held on by a thread most of my life and she’s caused me to become physically ill.
But I’ll be damned if she’s going to destroy me.
I understand why you feel your mother is your enemy – because she treats you like an enemy – an adversary. That’s usually one or both of two things: jealousy/competition or control – oppressing you to actually keep you close. I’ve seen my own mother do this with two of my siblings. She puts them down and makes them feel not good enough but it’s actually a means to keep them close because if they were confident and successful, they would move away and leave her. Her biggest fear is being alone. You’d never know it by her actions at first, but it becomes obvious that she’s terrified of them bettering themselves and leaving her behind. It’s no different than an emotionally abusive husband making his wife feel she can’t do any better. Sick and pathetic, I know. She doesn’t do this with me because I have a strong personality and will immediately call her out. She’s careful with me, which makes me realize she is cunning and can control it because she obviously knows with whom she can and can’t get away with it. If you don’t have a strong personality to stand up to her, it might be better to just let her go.
@Jennifer
Thank you for your insight – I appreciate it.
I’m not sure if you know or if this is even the case with your mother, but my mother was diagnosed with borderline personality.
I wish this happened years ago, because life would have been so much easier knowing this,.
I read a book – Walking on Eggshells – and lots of the information in it was incredibly helpful.
There are online sites for daughters of borderline mothers, which is helpful, too, if only to read the scenarios to simply know that it’s real and others have experienced it.
And I agree, with a borderline, much of the behavior stems from fear of abandonment.
I have a strong personality, but being the “baby”, she was able to manipulate me the most.
And being a kind natured person, I would be the last person to “abandon” my mother.
But the hatred is so much…so much…I can’t anymore.
My mother refused to go to my wedding because her mother, my grandma, would be there. Then when she saw the pictures of me in my dress years later ( because we didn’t speak after the wedding debacle) she said I looked pregnant in them. Which I wasn’t. That’s the one and only remark she’s ever said about my wedding photos.
I’m so sorry, Willa.
I try to imagine what kind of “mother” would miss her own child’s wedding, for whatever the reason.
But that sounds like something my mother would do, too.
It’s incredibly selfish and manipulative and mean.
Look at my reply above to Jennifer.
Borderline personalities are real and prevalent.
Perhaps looking it up and reading a bit on it would be helpful.
Mom and daughter are tacky as the day is long so I’m amazed that Bey didn’t like one of Tina’s designs.
Years ago, watching some Destiny’s Child behind the scenes thing and Tina was talking about how she did all their costumes. There was a pair of beautiful designer shoes and Tina thought something was missing so she glued on some feathers. Nothing says class like maribou feathered mules, at least in the House of Dereon.
I feel bad for Beyoncé here. Buying to having a wedding dress designed should be one of those truly special moments in your life and one to share with your mother, if possible.
Yeah… I feel like Beyoncé was always the golden child and STAR in their family, the one all the attention got paid to, etc. However, with that came extra pressure from her parents to do things for them: like wear her mom’s hideous designs. She also feels pressure to be generic, unthreatening, Disney Princess-ish because she’s such a superstar – something that in recent years she has been starting to break out of. Whereas Solange got less attention but also less pressure and got to go her own way more. Solange’s wedding dress was AMAZING.
Solange’s wedding dress was COOL! I loved it, loved it. How can you not love a dress with a cape, you know? And the pantsuit that she changed into was fabulous too – and I don’t normally like catsuit/pantsuits. The whole vibe and style of her wedding was great.
My 12 year old niece wants to be a fashion designer at the moment and my mom is teaching her how to sew. One of the first “real” dresses that they made was a replica of Solange’s wedding dress for one of her dolls. It became so popular with my niece’s friends that my mom has been helping her make more copies to hand out for birthday gifts.
It must be hard to find your own identity as for me it seems that Beyoncé doesn’t fit the fashion her stylist choose for her. The clothes always seem to wear her. Maybe she needs to embrace her inner Britney and go full-on crop tops with hotpants? I feel that’s her style deep inside her LOL. She looks hot and badass in casual wear though, a simple tight jeans with a nice t-shirt, she doesn’t need much as she’s gorgeous with a lovely shape! It’s generic too but it fits her better than the style she’s been sporting for a few years now.
I don’t know, it’s hard to search who you are when you have a team that can construct any style or image you want to convey and for a person like Beyoncé (perfectionist, calculating and controlling) it must be extra hard. Unlike Solange, Beyoncé’s search for her own identity can never be as organic and fluid anymore because she’s been in the public eye from a young age and most of these changes happen from teenager to young adulthood. You can never get those times back again :/
Also Solange is clearly less anal retentive and a true free spirit. I don’t think Matthew could have ever trained that out of Solange…people come in different forms and shapes and Solange might just be the rebel in the family who goes her own way. She has less control and focus as evidenced by her career and the fact that she speaks her mind in a way that Beyoncé only can through her music.
@michelleb
What a lovely story, your niece sounds so talented and driven already. So young and such a creative spirit already!
What you said about Beyoncé looking better in jeans and t-shirt reminds of Kim K. She doesn’t have the confidence or attitude to pull off high fashion looks or the crap Kanye dresses her in. Kim look the best in casual clothes because she more confident in them, she walks with her head up and is not constantly fidgeting with them.
Take someone like Amber Rose who is the opposite she is confident in everything she wears even the stuff Kanye used to put her in.
First world problems at their best 🙂 I actually don’t get the hype about the wedding day too. Isn’t what’s after it that is important?! After all, it’s only one day, who cares, if it’s not perfect!
Missing the bride gene too even though my ill-fated marriage began with me in the biggest, fluffiest mass of early ’90s bridal confectionary you could ever imagine. My mom didn’t comment or help with any of it except to ask me two days before, “are you sure you want to go through with this?” Ha!
I don’t know….I think Bey looked beautiful, but if she wasn’t happy with the dress, her Mom should have stepped aside and let her pick her own dress out.
Bey got married in front of a janky curtain, wearing an ill-fitting dress she didn’t like? Well, this humanize a her quite a bit. She should reveal more stuff like this about herself honestly, makes her much more relatable.
Yeah the fashion gene most def went to Solange. She always looks so dope, even if the outfit is weird.
Totally agree. Solange looked amazing in her wedding dress and jumpsuit.
Sad or funny ? Coherent I’d say.
That was messed up to make her wear one of Tina’s designs. Besides didn’t she ( and the rest of Destiny’s Child ) suffer enough through the 00’s wear that woman’s hideous creations? She even supported that mess that was House of Dereon.
Reminds me of Princess Di hating her wedding dress too. But grinned and bore it!
I want to see that show now, sounds marvellous 🙂
Mama Tina is too overbearing 😩
When I got married, my mom stepped back because she knew I had a good grip on exactly how I wanted to look and I had a vision. I did end up trying on dresses at David’s Bridal just get a feel for wedding dresses and I took my bridesmaids, mom and mother in law. EVERYBODY had an opinion on what I should wear and I hated every single dress they offered. I ended up sketching my dress, taking my pics to a really great seamstress and having her make it. Everything worked out pretty well!
But did Beyoncé say anything in the lead up to the wedding? That comment about letting her daughter pick her own dress sounds like it happened later. I get the Mama Tima hate but she isn’t a mind reader. If B wasn’t happy, she could have said something.
I don’t really understand this “bride gene” nonsense. I didn’t enjoy planning my wedding, and nearly every decision hinged on “what’s the easiest way to do this”. Everything was far too expensive, and all the little details that seem so neat turn into a huge burden because absolutely freaking everybody has an opinion. “You’re really going to do that?” or “……..oh, well, I suppose it IS your day……” It sucked because every single thing that I wanted to do someone else hated or thought was the dumbest thing ever. The whole “it’s your big day!” hype is so overblown and stupid.
So I started hacking off pieces. No wedding party, no cake, no readings during the ceremony, no bouquet, no favors. Church wedding because churches are cheap and have a roof, seats, music, and an officiant all in one place, with the added bonus of being more “legit” to my religious family members. Flowers consisted of two giant vases full of the prettiest white and fuchsia silk flowers to be had during the craft store sale.
It all worked out, my husband and I managed to plan a nice little wedding that pleased our families, and we actually really enjoyed it. Because we’d whittled down everything into the simplest form, the wedding day itself was pretty stress-free. Nobody believed we were getting married that afternoon because we spent the morning chilling out and not running around like beheaded chickens.
You must be my spirit animal Wren 😉
You and me both! I spent the day sitting outside with friends drinking until it was time to get ready. My husband and his brothers (there were no attendants but they all got ready together) napped on the couch back at home if the photos were anything to go by.
Beheaded chickens, lol. Imagining a beheaded chicken dressed as a bride running around.
Lmaooo. Miss Tina does the most but I love that she’s self aware enough to recognise that her designs were trash.
For those pointing out that Destiny Child wore ugly and tasteless clothing early in their career, I hope you know it’s because absolutely NO designer wanted to dress them. None. They’ve said it many times
I think Beyonce has really good street style. Also, perhaps she was ok with her mom making her wedding dress because the wedding was super hush hush. Had Beyonce went to another designer the word would have gotten out that Bey and Jay were planning to wed.
Wow. Between this and all the comments, I genuinely feel bad that so many narcissists become mothers. My mom and I had a blast going to bridal shows and she gave me her opinions on lots of things, but there were no strings attached if I didn’t like something she did. We had fun hunting for her MOB dress, sampling cakes, touring venues…it was all just happy fun times. Tina Knowles sounds like a massive PITA.
My fiance and I moved to SF from NY right before we got engaged. Planning a NY wedding is beyond stressful, I but I can honestly say it’s brought my mom and I closer than ever. She has been so helpful meeting with people when I can’t be there and she definitely tries her best to not overstep her boundaries!
My fiance and I are contributing to the wedding as much as we can, and he even offered to pay for my dress. My mom insisted on buying my dress for me because she said it’s always been her dream “to buy my daughter’s gown.” She definitely weighed in with her opinions – and her taste is much different than mine haha – but once we found my dress, it was a moment neither of us will ever forget. I feel so lucky right now.
Poor Beyonce. Shame on her mother.
My mom didn’t even go with me to pick out a dress. My sister/matron of honor did and it was soooooo much less stressful. Mother daughter relationships can be super complicated, and my mom was like, I’ll just stress you out, so I’ll just stay home. My mom, however, catered most of the reception and did my flowers and sanctuary decorations, and her fingerprints were all over that. I did a coffee bar and a candy bar, and she did everything else but the cake.
I would never let my mom decide what my wedding dress would be and thankfully she wouldn’t make me.
Getting married next spring so I went dress shopping with my bestie, selected gowns i liked and when my mom came into town got her opinions on the ones she loved and the ones she wasn’t feeling.
Miracle! We liked several of the same and helped narrow down to 2 options and she said whichever i chose i would look beautiful! I wanted to be sure she knew i appreciated her thoughts but ultimately it was my decision.
Congrats!!
Why is Tina on tv? Didn’t the House of Dereon tank a few years back?
I feel like Tina Knowles is a “designer” in the sense that she has ideas, money, and an echo chamber to congratulate her. There’s a reason why Beyonce, as tacky as she can be, stopped wearing outfits made by her mom when she stepped away from her father’s management.