A few weeks ago, we talked about Sara Hammel, the long-time freelance entertainment journalist who worked for People Magazine for years and years. Hammel quit People Magazine with a bridge-burning resignation letter, calling out celebrities, their a—hole publicists and the editors at People. Hammel mentioned in the letter that she was going to focus on book-writing, and as it turns out, she’s already got a semi-memoir coming out called Red Carpet Regret: Confessions of a cynical celebrity journalist. In the memoir, she talks about all of her experiences interviewing and meeting celebrities, of course. And she gave Cosmopolitan a taste. This is SO gossipy and insider-y, and just admit it: this is the kind of stuff we really want to know. Who is actually nice, who is actually funny, who is actually a jackass. You can read the full Cosmo piece here. Some highlights:

Jennifer Garner knows you were judging how quickly she took off the baby weight: Hammel shares that she’s interviewed Jennifer Garner who, according to Hammel, says she admitted she feels pressure to be thin and to drop her baby weight “almost immediately, but I can’t make it come off faster than it does. I can’t seem to be pregnant without gaining 45 lbs. There’s not a lot I can do about it. I wish that I could, because I do feel the pressure and I do see the cameras and it’s the one time where having people follow you and take pictures of you is just excruciating.”

Jennifer Lopez at Tom Cruise’s wedding. “Ms. Lo speeds up, and as she passes in front of me she almost I-think-she-kind-of-did spit with a fierce Pss-fff-tsshh in my direction. I am taken aback. As she swans away, her famous butt, which I never realised was so untoned, is undulating under her silken baby pink gown. For me, now, she is ugly inside and out.”

Interviewing Angelina Jolie: It’s like “preparing for an audience with the queen…when you meet her she appears unhealthily skinny, not just I-have-to-look-good-onscreen-so-give-me-a-break thin, with jagged shoulder blades and protruding clavicles, and has strangely pale makeup covering up what look like scattered scabs. And that she has a slow way of talking, looks you in the eyes only briefly and not truly connecting at all (many stars try really hard to seem like they’re connecting; she does not, at least not with me).”

Duchess Kate’s face: According to Hammel, Kate only smiles because her face is “collapsing.” She continues, “That, my Kate Middleton watchers, is why you will see her grinning maniacally at all times in photographs and videos, even when you get the strong sense it doesn’t really fit the occasion, even when you can’t see quite what’s so funny, even when those around her don’t seem remotely festive. Even when she’s staring into space, walking up some stairs. Even at somber events when it’s not right to smile, when she can’t lest she appear soulless, she tucks the corners ever-so-slightly upward.”

Jennifer Lawrence: Hammel says she’s a celebrity who, “who deigns to throw you a quote but makes it clear they’re doing you the grandest favour a higher being can bestow.”

Ryan Reynolds: Hammel says he’s a celebrity who “wants nothing to do with you before they even meet you.”

Celebrities who are “snappish or just rude”: Richard Gere, Alan Cumming, Jon Bon Jovi, and Lupita Nyong’o.

Celebrities who take themselves “very seriously”: Ryan Reynolds, Matthew McConaughey, Ashton Kutcher, Elizabeth Olsen.

[From Cosmo]

The Angelina Jolie gossip is disappointing. I’ve obviously heard before that speaking to Angelina is like speaking to royalty, and that she’s not trying to impress you or whatever. And we all know that she’s thin. But the scabs? Huh. Her skin looks crazy-flawless to me. As for the Duchess of Cambridge’s “collapsing face”… OH MY GOD. If it’s a theory, it’s a decent theory because does explain a lot and that just clicked a lot of conspiracies and details into place for me. It explains why her face goes from really drawn and haggard to healthy and full within days – she’s getting fillers and Botox consistently. Now, was her face collapsing (allegedly) before the fillers and Botox, or are those fillers and Botox the reason why her face is collapsing? Unknown. And finally, an explanation for Kate’s crazy smiling, even at somber occasions. However it’s more than possible that this is less a dishy tell-all and more like internet-comments-as-memoir, as in she’s just going by photos as much as any of us.

It’s not all mean gossip though… Hammel also has some nice things to say. She says that Posh Beckham is really nice & self-deprecating. She lists some people who are really kind and treat entertainment journalists like equals, like: Jack Black, Chrissy Teigen, Hugh Jackman, Joshua Jackson, Jason Bateman, Jenna Fischer, Mischa Barton, Emma Thompson, Tea Leoni, and Misty Copeland. She says Emily Deschanel, Colin Farrell and Michael Douglas are “kind even when they don’t have to be.” And Kevin Kline, Bryan Cranston and Ricky Gervais are “funny even when they don’t need to impress you.”

Photos courtesy of People Magazine.