Last week, Orlando Bloom “stunned the world” when he took off his swim trunks in the middle of a public beach in Sardinia. He was vacationing with girlfriend Katy Perry and a group of friends, and everyone else in the group kept their swim trunks and bikinis on while Orlando happily frolicked and paddle-boarded naked. As I said at the time, Orlando totally knew that photographers were around. The photos were taken by someone relatively close, and it was an open beach. Orly knew his dick pics were about to go international. So why did he do it? Was it an attempt to start some kind of beef with Justin Bieber? Or did Orlando want attention for some other reason?
“We were stunned!” reports an eyewitness to Orlando Bloom’s nude form on the beach. “People occasionally do go nude there, but an A-list celebrity? Never!”
Katy Perry seemed cool with it but wasn’t inspired to lose her bikini at any point.
So was Orlando’s nudity all in fun? Maybe not: “Orlando tipped off the photographer in advance because he’s trying to draw attention to himself,” a Hollywood insider tells Star. “He’s up for a big role in a new Marvel superhero movie, and he thought this would help raise his profile. It was pure self-promotion.”
[From Star Magazine, print edition]
So many penis puns and dick jokes. Orlando tipped the photographer about his tip. He didn’t want to give anyone the shaft. It’s hard for him! He wanted to “raise” his profile. He has the girth to fill a Marvel role. As for that Marvel role… Marvel runs a pretty tight ship, although there have been notable exceptions in the past few years, but those exceptions happen after a messy actor already has a Marvel contract. Does Marvel need Orlandong in a movie? No, they don’t. They’ve got at least 30 British actors they could go to before Orlando. The Orlandong probably won’t make a difference either way, but if it does, it won’t be a positive difference.
Also, I’m looking at Marvel’s upcoming movies and I can’t even figure out what Orlando would possibly be up for? Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2? Spiderman: Homecoming? Captain Marvel? Out of those three, Captain Marvel might be the best bet, but still… Marvel could hire someone much better than Orlando.
Photos courtesy of WENN, Pacific Coast News.
Well, it wasn’t particularly Marvelous.
LOL!!
Boom!
LOL
He was after some attention but it would have been a massive miscalculation to think dick pic would equal Marvel attention. Much the same as if Tom Hiddleston thought widespread public PDA with Taylor Swift would garner interest from James Bond producers.
This.
LOL Orlandong is awesome
That’s an odd way to audition.
Can you imagine the Instagram post from RDJ welcoming Orlando? It would be glorious.
LOLOL Mia
I didn’t pay much attention to it last week because … he’s Orlando Bloom. And now I can’t believe this story is still alive. I had also forgotten he is dating Katy Perry. He’s THAT boring to me, pants or no pants. I don’t even remember if he can act!
I didn’t pay any attention either. And now all I can think about is a burned wiener. I mean, if he just whipped his trunks off, clearly he didn’t have any lotion handy (god I’m killing myself with the imagery). Nobody likes a burned wiener and over toasted buns.
I’m giggling uncontrollably.
haaaaaaa
Well some of the photos in the series featured them putting sunscreen on each other. (Bloom was still in his swim trunks at that point though.)
Maybe the photographer dropped his camera with the shock of Bloom dropping trou. And maybe he was still too stunned to snap a pic when she applied the sunblock to his frank and beans (and buns)! It’s such a bizarre scenario no matter how you slice it.
Fave comment!
@LittleMissNaughty, it has been so long, he can’t remember if he can act
I googled. It’s so unattractive the way he’s kneeling naked on that board. I like him less now. I mean … penises, you know? I’m a fan ‘n all but they’re not that attractive to look at.
If his intention was to secure a role in a Marvel film or franchise, I don’t know how he thought this would help. Marvel doesn’t like its actors having messy personal lives in public, and they DEFINITELY don’t want nude pics floating around of their stars.
What on earth was he thinking?
And the follow-up pictures of him squeezing Katy’s boobs while children look on? Is he seeking a role as villain in the next Deadpool?
I get that public nudity is no big deal on some European beaches. It’s one thing to strip down at a nude beach, where consensual and non-sexual nudity is allowed. But this was something altogether different. He stripped down on a very crowded and non-nude beach that was filled with families (a few photos showed a pregnant woman and children swimming just a foot or so away from him). He was obviously somewhat aroused and groping his girlfriend, who, by the way, looked uncomfortable by the whole thing. I’m thinking that he was either drinking a lot, taking drugs or both. And I’m talking cocaine, not weed – he didn’t look mellow, he looked like he was on his own aggressive little power trip. It wasn’t cute, it wasn’t wink-wink naughty. It was creepy and inappropriate. I don’t care who he is – if I was on that beach, I would have complained to hotel security at the very least. Gross.
Coocoo – amen to all of that. Katie’s face made me extremely uncomfortable and reminded me of times when I’ve been with boyfriends who were being way too hands-Y for my liking and her face was exactly what my face had been in those moments. Just cause you get to grope those boobs in private doesn’t mean you get to grope them whenever you want without regard to how the owner of the boobs feels about it
If a woman did this, her career would be over.
I hear Michael Scott in my ear, “That’s what she said.”
Does Marvel/Disney have a new division starting a franchise shooting movies in San Fernando Valley?!?
Yes. Because that’s exactly what family friend Disney owned Marvel wants- free flying hippie d!ck on a paddle boat.
I guess he wanted to show he could fill out a cod piece?!?
He would probably be more likely to get the movie role if just continues to date Katy.
I found his pics impressive though haha I never expected *that* from him
Not unless Marvel is producing an LOTR/Avengers crossover movie.
It’s possible. Another studio is considering a 21 Jump Street/Men In Black crossover.
He really is trying to make it look like he is in demand, He is not, it is not 2006 anymore.
+ 1
Maybe he is in the run for James Bond. Lately everybody seems to competing to get that role.
It would explain why he got in shape so quickly.
He is always in great shape though. Even when he is not, he has the most perfectly shaped torso.
If Disney-owned, family-friendly, hyper-commercial Marvel had any doubts about hiring Orlando, Id guess this would settle it.
There is a hammer swinging contest at Thor’s place.We know who is up first. I will show myself out but I am NOT sorry.
Why are these actors “whoring” themselves to get a role? This something I can’t wrap my head around. This is what has come to… You don’t see Jessica Chastain show her tits out for a part or Robert Deniro stripped his clothes back in hey day and for the love of God it would be catastrophe when Meryl Streep did the spread eagle for a role. Why would these young professional actors would go to low lengths to make themselves FAMOUS.
Thank you Jesus I am not an actress.
For some reason, I find it absolutely hilarious that he is completely nude except for a hat and sunglasses! lol!
I do not know why people hate him. Because it is popular to hate every attractive successful male celeb? I think he is adorable! Looks great, such a beautiful bod, perfectly harmless, and so what he did what he did for attention? They all do everything for attention! Is Kanye, Beyonce, Gwyneth any different? Not to mention the kartrashians who pose naked all the time.
He is beautiful, sexy, gorgeous and it would be the first time I’d pay to watch a Marvel film if he indeed gets cast in one.
You go, Lando. Sexy beast with dreamy eyes.
people can’t forgive themselves for being 14. the amount of comments I’ve seen online that begin … ‘omg, can’t believe I used to stan him’.
No.
I didn’t need the nudes, but that last shot of him in the tank top is swoon worthy. I thought he had great swagger in PotC, and he already works with disney. I’d love to see him opposite RDJ, honestly.
The title of this article made my day. And yes, Orlando can whore himself out morning, noon and night and I’ll still be watching with appreciative eyes.
GO2 and Spiderman should be wrapping up the acting part, so maybe Marvel? They plan to start budding off of the Avengers franchise, so who knows. It’s all Disney so I’m not sure how showing off his dingaling at the beach would help him get a part. Maybe a DC comics book movie, though.