Out of all the Lohans, Ali/Aliana Lohan is absolutely the most sympathetic. Michael Lohan is a flaming pile of garbage. Dina Lohan is a broken wine bottle. Lindsay is a trainwreck. The brothers are silent as the grave. But Ali? She got the worst of Lindsay’s drama and her parents’ drama, all because Lindsay was trying to “protect” her… from something. Mostly, Lindsay just wanted her little sister around her at all times, because Lindsay wanted her little sister to comfort her. Ali bounced around from the Chateau Marmont to Lindsay’s various apartments to Dina’s various homes and I doubt even Lindsay and Dina knew where Ali was most of the time (hint: she was off getting plastic surgery). When Ali was 17 years old, she spent eight months in South Korea, working as a “model,” or so the story goes (that’s one of the sketchier stories in the life of Ali Lohan). She returned to New York at some point, and now she’s in LA.

Throughout all of the Lohan Family crack shenanigans, Ali retained her fundamental dream: she was going to be a singer. And that’s why Cosmopolitan profiled her. Cosmo notes that the interview took place before Lindsay’s broken engagement to Egor, and they also note that Michael Lohan Jr. is acting as Aliana’s publicist/manager, and MLJ refused to let Cosmo speak to Ali again once Lindsay’s drama exploded. You can read the full Cosmo piece here – it’s full of Lohan-esque delusion and alternate-reality messaging (she refers to Dina as “my strength” – LMAO), but once again… Aliana is pretty sympathetic. I honestly feel sorry for her and I wouldn’t want to trade places with her for anything. Some highlights:

She’s breaking into music at the age of 22: “This is what I wanted to do since I was 8 years old.”

Working on her album in LA: She’s working with a producer to nail down her sound, which she describes as “Western emo,” citing Nancy Sinatra and Johnny Cash as inspirations.

Her positivity: “I believe everything happens for a reason. Like, everything…. I’ve never done therapy in my entire life. Nothing against therapists. I think it’s extraordinary what they do for people. I just, I have a deep sense of faith and spirituality, so I think that’s my grounding.” Buddhism and meditation are “a big part” of her life. And she mentions her affinity for Wayne Dyer, the spiritual self-help guru who wrote Change Your Thoughts — Change Your Life.

The tabloid interest in her family: “It’s just crazy how things can get out, and be twisted and completely fabricated. That was mind-blowing to me. Being born in a family that’s public, that’s just been my life. I’ve never gone out of my way for attention… I’m a very focused person. All my family knows, ‘Aliana’s singing.'”

Her rage-tweet about Jennifer Lawrence’s Lohan joke, which was “I get Lindsay Lohan-grade exhaustion but without any drugs or alcohol”: “That was literally something that came over me where I was like, ‘You know what, that’s my sister. I gotta say something.’ At first, I was like, ‘Sh-t. Are people gonna jump on this?’ I’m like, ‘You know what? It’s OK.’ Because I just wanted her to know that you should stand up for other women, you should help people and not put them down, ever.”

Moving to South Korea at the age of 17: “I was modeling using just my first name in the beginning — I didn’t want to be taken a different way. When I was there, I was alone, so I was just getting to experience another place around the world and really taking that in. I was like, ‘Wow. This is cool’ — free bird.”

Whether she parties: “Never. Wasn’t for me. I’ve never done drugs or anything, thank god. I did not like that scene.”

[From Cosmopolitan]

The narrative has been set by the Lohan women, and they always answer the same questions with the same script. If you asked Lindsay if she parties these days, she would also say “Never, I did not like that scene, I made some mistakes but now I don’t do drugs or anything!” I can actually hear Lindsay saying that, can’t you? As for this: “Because I just wanted her to know that you should stand up for other women, you should help people and not put them down, ever.” Oh, honey. It’s like the Taylor Swift Feminism thing – feminism means “no one can say anything bad about Taylor, because feminism.” Aliana’s version of “supporting women” is “no one can say anything bad about a Lohan, because supporting women!”

Photos courtesy of Sami Drasin/Cosmopolitan.