Liz Hurley wants you to know that her life is so much sexier than yours. Why? Not because she’s Liz Hurly. Not because she’s loaded with money. But because she lives in the country. Liz brags about how hot her stable boys are. Okay not stable boys, but the guys who remodeled her stables. Which I think is close enough. She says people in the country are just flat-out better looking. And they have better sex because of all the fireplaces. In fact, that’s the only reason why they all have big fluffy rugs in front of their hearths. For sex. It’s all about sex, and apparently no one in London is having it half as good as she is.

Perhaps it’s all that fresh air. Or more likely, the glow of those roaring log fires. But the former girl about town Elizabeth Hurley has become something of an evangelist for the joys of country life. According to the actress turned model, the English countryside is simply far ‘sexier’ than London. And in a breathless account for Tatler magazine, in which she poses in the grounds of a country mansion, Miss Hurley, 43, paints an earthy picture of rural life that Jilly Cooper would be proud of.

‘When I close my eyes and think of England, I’m not in a fancy restaurant in Knightsbridge, but am instead lolling, scantily clad, in front of a roaring fire, surrounded by four labradors and Rupert Campbell-Black,’ she said, referring to one of Miss Cooper’s dashing characters.

‘I wouldn’t mind betting that there’s less sex in the city than there is in the country because it’s just well, sexier here.’ Miss Hurley, 43, who also has a home in London, now lives almost full-time on the £2.7million Gloucestershire estate she bought in 2003. She shares it with husband Arun Nayar, son Damian, four labradors, two cats, three geese, eight chickens, 49 cows, 63 sheep and 82 pigs.

Not to mention a cast of handsome locals, ranging from the ‘gorgeous’ builders who helped with her renovations, to the shelf stackers at the supermarket. ‘To me people look sexier in the country,’ she said. ‘Take builders for example. The lot who recently did my stable conversion were so gorgeous that friends from London used to travel down just to flirt with them… Or take the shelf-fillers in my local supermarket in Cirencester – almost all of them could be extras in Another Country… If you think of London you’re more likely to think binge-drinking, mugging and competitive schooling than hotel rooms, champagne and lacy knickers. Not so in the country.’

According to Miss Hurley, country interior design is all a little nudge, nudge, wink wink, too. ‘Next time you go to someone’s house in the country, be sure to check out if they have warm, possibly fluffy, rugs in front of their fire,’ she writes. ‘No prizes for guessing why they’re there.’ Later she adds: ‘I can also shyly confess to having two sheepskin rugs in front of all my fireplaces.’

[From the Daily Mail]

Is it me, or does it seem like Liz is overcompensating here? My very first thought was that she must not be happy at all – it’s all so over the top. The imagine of her and Arun frolicking around on one of their dozens of sheepskin rugs while the four Labradors frolic around playfully in front of the crackling fire… it’s all just a bit too much. Next thing you know, one of the stable boys saunters in… wait, I’m getting carried away. Which it sounds like Liz is doing too.

I can’t help but think this little article and accompanying photo spread is all in reaction to the rumors that Liz’s marriage is seriously on the rocks. But I’m sure it’s nothing that can’t be fixed with a frolic in a field filled with Guernsey cattle. Or, you know, a good Harlequin romance novel.

Here’s Liz Hurley and Arun Nayar at the wedding of Patsy Kensit and Jeremy Healy in London on April 18th. Images thanks to WENN.com .