Video has plenty of cursing and is NSFW without headphones

Eminem was on German talkshow “TV Total” with host Stefan Raab, and he made a few jokes that were pretty lame. He came out wearing a face mask and said that he had swine flu and let out some exaggerated sneezes. He had a t-shirt on that featured a topless woman with a cartoon head which never would have been permitted on US TV and then took advantage of the fact that we have no censors here in Germany:

“I love Germany man because you can cuss. You can say anything you f’ing want basically right? You can f’ing cuss, Jesus Christ I f’ing love it here. I’m gay. Hey look it’s raining dicks.” [gestures like he’s putting stuff in his mouth from the sky]

That was pretty obnoxious – not the swearing part but the “I’m gay, it’s raining dicks” part.

Then Eminem started using the curse words in Germany he’s learned, saying “Freie Fickmuschi” in a stupid accent, which means “free f’ck pussy” and is an awkward sentence to say the least.

He stupidly tried to tell Raab that “muschi” means “wet” in “America” and that “it makes sense muschi/pussy.” That’s genius, Eminem. It’s almost on the level of Reese Witherspoon showing Jay Leno pictures of the exit signs in Germany, “Ausfahrt”, and laughing because the word “fart” was in there.

Raab told Eminem he already used that same curse phrase the last time he was there and tried to teach him some new swear words. He taught him “ich fick dich auseinander,” which means “I’ll f’ck you in half” basically.

Raab punked Eminem by showing him a fake CD by German psuedo rapper Oli P called “Flugzeuge im Arsch” which means “airplane in the ass.” He also showed him a Volksmusik (traditional folk music) CD and claimed that it was a mix between folk music and gangster rap. Eminem didn’t get the joke at all and kind of sat there wide eyed. You can’t blame him for not getting it.

As for what he’s been doing the past four years, Eminem said he “did a lot of drugs, lot of playing Nintendo [Nintendo was censored due to the commercial reference] and a lot of masturbation. The masturbation thing took me three out of them four years. Heavy masturbator, chronic masturbator.”

Eminem said he’s been sober for a little over a year after a 5-6 year struggle with drugs. I guess he doesn’t have that as an excuse for being such a tool. If you don’t have any funny stories to tell, you may as well swear.