I was trying to figure out why it is that I’m so fascinated by Spencer Pratt, and I think I’ve got it: it’s rare to see someone with such a delusional combination of narcissistic personality disorder and extreme lack of talent get anywhere in life. Now I’m not going to try to tell you that Spencer’s gotten far, but we know the guy’s name. Even if he’s hated. He has somehow – mind bogglingly enough – managed to amass a decent amount of cash. Enough to overly-indulge said narcissism. And it’s hard not to be intrigued by this – and by a culture that would allow someone like Spencer Pratt to happen.

While he has attained no commercial success – nor any success based on his supposed “talents” – Spencer still feels free to talk himself up while talking everyone else down to Complex magazine. The point of the interview was to chat about Spencer’s rap career. And while he admits that he really doesn’t have one yet, he still feels free to talk shit about other rappers, say multiple times that he doesn’t have anyone he really admires in rap or hip-hop, and also how he’s the greatest out there. Oh, and don’t forget, how wife Heidi Montag is more talented than Beyonce. Those are fighting words.

Complex: You also said, “I’m like the white Jay-Z.” Would you consider Heidi the white Beyoncé?
Spencer Pratt: A little bit more than the white Beyoncé. Beyoncé had to be built by a group like Destiny’s Child, but Heidi shines solo. I’ll actually give you an exclusive: I could guarantee you Speidi’s [Spencer and Heidi’s] “Bonnie & Clyde” version is going to stunt on Jay and B’s version.

Complex: Who’s rapping career would you use as a blueprint for yourself?
Spencer Pratt: I think I’m the future of hip-hop. You know, I feel bad for saying that. That’s unfortunate, but that’s a fact. You can’t compare my model of hip-hop with what I’m about to come out with versus anything in the game. You know I’ll take the Diddy route. I’m not a lyrical MC, I’m just like Diddy. Look what it did for him? He is still balling.

Complex: I know you said that you’re trying to infiltrate the ringtone game…
Spencer Pratt: Yeah. People are not even going to have time to listen to radio in their cars because they are going to be talking on their phones or twittering, or BBM’ing. So I feel like the only time people are going to hear music is when your phone rings, so that’s the whole market I’m going after. I don’t care about the clubs, I don’t care about the radio, all I care about is getting my digital downloads like Soulja Boy.

Complex: There’s a lot of money to be made in that…
Spencer Pratt: I think it’s only going to multiply in the next ten years. There are more people with cell phones in the world than any other thing on the planet. There are billions of cell phones. There’s not not billions of radios.

Complex: Interesting…
Spencer Pratt: The bottom line is, if every single platinum song right now wasn’t auto-tuned, then I would be like, “I can’t be a rapper.” The fact that I could get up to perfect pitch just like Kanye West now, and T-Pain, it’s an even playing field. I don’t have to have talent. I just need to have auto-tune and be allowed to have the hottest track in the game, and my swag.

[From Complex]

“I don’t have to have talent. I just need to have auto-tune…” that really says a lot. Interestingly, it sort of shows that Spencer is a little more aware of his limits than one would expect. He clearly is a huge fan of technology, what with this obsessive Twittering (he also mentions BBM-ing, which is texting with a Blackberry) and collection of tech-swag. He’s aware that really all he needs is technology to do the job for him. Auto-Tune, by the way, is a phase vocoder that corrects pitch in vocal performances.

Regardless of Auto-Tune, you still need to have some basic talent, and you need to work with talented people – and they have to want to work with you. I seriously doubt that rap and hip-hop’s most talented producers would touch Spencer Pratt. In fact anyone who ever wants to make a name for themselves would stay away from him. Look at all the crappy songs and music videos Heidi has put out. There’s no reason to believe Spencer’s music is going to be of a higher caliber.

And pissing off Jay-Z and Beyonce? He really thinks it’s a good idea to start a feud with two of the most powerful people in hip-hop? Glad Spencer thinks ringtones are the future. Because they are definitely his future.

Here are Heidi and Spencer eating lunch at Il Pastaio in Beverly Hills on Monday. Sorry to the West Coast, you’re probably eating lunch right now. Or, you were. Images thanks to WENN.com .