Katie Holmes isn’t satisfying Tom Cruise’s sexual, baby-making needs

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A new round of Tom Cruise-Katie Holmes break-up rumors is starting up, and they’ve got juicier details than ever before. Earlier this week, we heard a report about how Tom makes Katie feel “inadequate” in their marriage because she won’t give him another baby, and all of the Xenu-related stuff, of course. Something about how Tom is trying to force Xenu down Katie’s “inadequate” throat, I believe.

Now, this story from The National Enquirer – not only is Katie refusing to have another baby (for the sake of her “hot” career), but Katie isn’t fulfilling Tom sexually! That’s what the Enquirer’s headline blared, but it seems this report is much like the one from earlier this week, only now there’s a timeline. Apparently, the original agreement was that Katie would get pregnant right after her Broadway run. Then she pushed back the baby start date a few more months while she did The Extra Man in New York. Now that Katie recently signed on to a thriller filming in Australia, it looks like the baby-making will have to wait several more months. Alas, Xenu does not love creepy thrillers.

Katie Holmes’ baby making is on hold due to her red-hot film career – and hubby Tom Cruise is NOT happy!

The 30-year-old Dawson’s Creek beauty just signed to star in the new thriller Don’t Be Afraid of the Dark – and pals say it will delay Cruise Baby No. 2.

While Tom has not complained to Katie, “he’s bumming because he really wants another child – now!” a family friend told The ENQUIRER.

Katie promised her 46-year-old hubby that if he agreed to her recent All My Sons gig on Broadway, then she’d try to get pregnant this spring.

“But Katie was such a hit that she right away landed a film role in The Extra Man, and that led to another movie project,” said the source.

“Katie feels she had to strike while the iron is hot career-wise. Since she’s only 30, she feels there’s plenty of time for more kids,” said the source, especially since she turned down reprising her role in bat-sequel The Dark Knight.

Meanwhile, Tommy Scientolo has made no secret that he’d love to make babies NOW!

[From The National Enquirer]

I’ve said it before – any many of you have disagreed – but I really think Tom and Katie are fine. “Fine” being a relative word, of course, meaning anything from “Tom can wait to have another baby” to “Katie has to fulfill her contractual baby obligations within a year”. Katie’s only thirty years old, and if she’s getting half-decent parts in semi-prestigious films, so should go for it. God knows she isn’t the best actress, so I’d imagine she’s just shocked to find people interested in working with her. She and Tom have plenty of time for another baby, Xenu provideth. Although the idea of Katie not being able to satisfy Tom sexually is very interesting…

Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes are shown at the LA premiere of Star Trek on 4/30/09 and outside the White House Correspondents Dinner on 5/9/09. Credit: WENN.com

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37 Responses to “Katie Holmes isn’t satisfying Tom Cruise’s sexual, baby-making needs”

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  1. Ellen Smith says:

    Of course she isn’t satisfying his needs – his needs are to be with a man. He needs to step up and start batting for the team that he’s really playing for.

  2. Bam Bam says:

    She’s a breeding machine and she knows it. About time she took some of her life back.

  3. UrbanRube says:

    She’ll satisfy his sexual needs when she adds that all-important Y chromosome.

  4. SixxKitty says:

    I imagine Tom’s ‘needs’ are not being met, he married a bright, vivacious woman and has since systematically erroded her, so now that she is self-consious and in a submissive role, his ‘make me the greatest’ chants in bed leave a bit to be desired… I bet he wonders why too.

  5. mhjmc says:

    Seriously .. I’m so tired of everyone butting into their relationship!! Unless you live in their house, hear there conversations, or you are Tom & Katie no one really knows and it’s all speculation … I really think everyone’s hatred for Tom & his religion has gotten too far out of hand and Katie is probably very happy but being in the public eye and having awful pictures taken of you and then people making up stories can get tiring; and that’s what I see when I look at her pictures.

  6. yadira says:

    MHJMC, I think you are in the wrong place if you want some lovey dovey stories to read. This website is called Cele-Bitchy after all.

    Katie always has such a vacant look in her eyes but when she is out on her own with Suri she looks alive. Sad

  7. Chicamorena says:

    The National Enquirer has a pretty good track record digging up the dirt on politicos but a lousy record when it comes to celebs.

    I’d take this with a bushel of salt, never mind a grain.

  8. Tia says:

    ewwwwwwwwwww TMI !!! Tom is super creepy and Katie needs to stand up to him and stop being a doormat who has children… poor thing

  9. Candi Apples says:

    Not a shocker,seeing how it’s rumored that Tom Cruise is gay.

  10. Gistine says:

    She just does not look right. Look at her eyes and her appearance. A picture tells a thousand words as they say, and this one tells me she’s tired of anal probes and niacin.

    LOL@Ellen.

  11. Annie says:

    The thought of sex with Tom Cruise makes me want to carve my brain out with an ice pick…not my whole brain, just the hippocampus or like the pre-frontal lobe. lol.

  12. Shay says:

    “red hot film career”

    On what planet?

    I guess they mean number of movies and not quality or box office draw.

  13. Ggirl says:

    In some pictures of Katie, especially in the last year or so, her facial expressions are a big blank i.e. Flat Affect associated with depression. True, I don’t even know the woman, but I do feel badly for her.

  14. Katharine Jaynes says:

    Kaiser,
    There was a 4 part item on Blind Gossip yesterday that just has to be about Tom and Katie.
    Supposedly she has served him with “Dissolution of Contract” papers. Soon to be followed with Dissolution of Marriage, which she will file under irreconciable differences. Shes threatening to file under ‘fraud’ if he doesn’t agree to void their originial contract. She’s trying to use her silence about his his secret gay relationship with another big star to extort Suri and $$ out of Tom. They won’t divorce yet, and they will continue to be seen together in public, but behind the scenes she’s taking back control. And she’s not pregnant & not getting pregnant.

  15. blahblah says:

    It’s so sad that Tom (a great actor) is being so hated over his religious beliefs… so sad. So much for people pretending to be all loving and open minded.

  16. Cinderella says:

    If she does leave him, it’s going to be hellish. He is one frightening little man.

  17. Jones says:

    Damn it folks..they are actors – not your neighbours or friends – you don’t know them, you are not guests in their home. Do you remember the 4th of July? TC was nominated for an Oscar, or his performance in Magnolia? KH was wonderful in Pieces of April and Go – despite their alleged home lives they are both talented individuals – now if only Tommy would get the balls to climb out of his closet-

  18. CandyKay says:

    Here’s one thing I wonder about all the “Tom is gay” assumptions. In a world where nearly everyone has a camera cell phone, and where a photo of Tom in a compromising situation would fetch an awful lot of money, why hasn’t any such photo turned up in his 25-year-long career?

    I mean, sure, mainstream media may be afraid of his lawsuits, but there are thousands of small websites that aren’t. And maybe people in his immediate circle are scared of him or dependent on him, but what about all the random people he must come in touch with every day – out-of-town drivers, maids and cleaning guys and rent-a-cops?

    One of those people would LOVE to cash in with a juicy photo, if indeed there was something to photograph.

  19. Caro says:

    Tom is “Bumming”? Well we all heard the rumours! This may be an American expression but it made me laugh (I’m a Brit).

  20. kh says:

    she looks dead on the inside.

    beware the wrath of xenu.

  21. stewie says:

    Hi Caro,
    I’m always amused at how different slang is in the US vs. Britain.

    Like the difference in being “pissed”, for example….

    You’ve probably figured it out by now, but “bumming” about something means you’re sad or disappointed about it. if something is a “bummer”, it’s something that brings you down.

    as for British slang, I think one of my new favorites is the term “slapper”.

  22. kate says:

    Personally, I think that Cruise’s camp leaks these stories to keep themselves relevant.

    Also, I think that Cruise is bi. Now that Suri is getting a little older, she’s starting to look like him.

  23. mins15 says:

    like Tom could father a child. Maybe she’s not pregnant because Chris klein got kind of icky looking.

  24. TomCruiseSucks says:

    Poor Katy – she made the biggest mistake of her life, getting involved with TC. It’s so obvious that he has killed her spirit. Just take a look at her expressionless eyes-she’s dead inside!

  25. Pandora says:

    Now that Suri is getting older she’s starting to look even more like Tommy’s trusted cousin Willy Mapother….just sayin…also, if he was bi and actually liked having sex with women, how could she be responsive when she’s catatonic…and if he’s gay – well duh, how could she satisfy him – she’s not a guy!

  26. Hieronymus Grexx says:

    Because Katie’s not a man.

  27. Wresa says:

    “…but Katie isn’t fulfilling Tom sexually! ”

    C’mon, NE, too easy!!

  28. Dirty Martini says:

    Neither one of them are satisfying MY needs…..which is to see or hear nothing from them ever again.

  29. georgiagrl says:

    Annie
    That was hilariuos!
    Tom’s gay and she’s a bore! Wonder who’s gonna get Suri, the publicity machine?

  30. Jazz says:

    Katie can’t satisfy Tom’s needs? I would of thought that was the other way around! lol

  31. Pufft says:

    Why hasn’t anyone called out the comment about wanting a second child? last I checked, Tom Cruise has THREE children, including Suri.

    I really hate it when the media makes adopted children less important, and less part of the family than the biological children. Pffft!

  32. Maritza says:

    Poor Kate, she looks like she is in a hypnotic trance. I bet in head she is constantly saying, “Must make baby, must make baby….”

  33. Michelle says:

    Most nausea-inducing headline ever.

    And if Katie really wants to satisfy Tom’s sexual needs, then she’ll need to figure out how to grow herself a penis. Or invest in a really good strap-on, I suppose.

  34. Magsy says:

    Some day when she’s free of Mr. Cruise she’ll look back and think what was I doing? Does Keith Urban have a brother for Katie?

  35. TOMISABACKDOORHILDA says:

    While Tom has not complained to Katie, “he’s BUMMING because he really wants another child – now!” a family friend told The ENQUIRER.
    HE’S BUMMING! HELLO! ANOTHER CODE WORD FOR LIKING A BIT OF BACK-DOOR HILDA!

  36. Julie says:

    Baby making is a solution I think for Tom’s inadequate with Katie sexual. Tom might want to have a baby boy. There’s a best way in having a selection in making a baby such as boy or girl. Anyway, Katie could make baby after her project!