How do you solve a problem like Melania? How do you catch a cloud and pin it down? How do you find a word that means Melania? A flibbertijibbet! A will-o’-the wisp! A clown! Many a thing you know you’d like to tell her. Many a thing she ought to understand. But how do you make her stay and listen to all you say? How do you keep a wave upon the sand? Oh, how do you solve a problem like Melania? — This song is brought to you by the Nazis coming for the Von Trapps, just to remind everyone that the 21st century version of Cheeto Mussolini is rising.
Obviously, we already knew Melania Trump was going to be wheeled out once again to make a speech before Election Day. Donald Trump informed Melania of this fact – much to her surprise – in the middle of a dual interview on ABC last week. So, Melania was sent to the suburbs of Philadelphia on Thursday to make a speech, her first speech since this summer’s poorly-received and plagiarized speech at the RNC. Guess what Melania did? She plagiarized AGAIN! Classic Melania. How do you solve a problem like Melania? Here’s her speech:
The plagiarized part was this line: “if you could dream it, you could become it,” which was apparently first uttered by Donald Trump’s second wife Marla Maples. That’s some high-level trolling by Melania’s speechwriters, right? As for the main point of her speech… she’s trying to carve out what her priorities and issues would be as First Lady. And she’s talking about social media bullying again, just like she did in her Anderson Cooper interview a few weeks back. And people are still scratching their heads over it, mostly because Melania is married to one of the biggest bullies/cyber-bullies in the country. Just this week, he targeted journalist Katy Tur, and his supporters turned on her and started screaming at her. Trump and his Alt-Right supporters are all very active on social media, and they regularly harass, insult and bully their perceived or actual enemies online. So, maybe Melania needs to pay more attention to what her husband does.
A note about Melania’s fashion here… the blouse is by Emilia Wickstead which costs nearly $900. It’s worth noting that I don’t think Melania has worn a single American designer in her handful of campaign appearances. Of course, that might not be her choice – most American designers are fervently pro-Hillary.
Photos courtesy of Getty.
I keep wishing for Tuesday to be here already and for this nightmare of an election to be over. Sadly, even with a Clinton win, our country has already lost so much. Racism, sexism and so much ugliness has been given validation by Trump. It is all so very depressing.
I’m not so convinced we will have a definitive answer Tuesday evening. Or Weds. I feel like this national nightmare will continue for weeks, months. You know it’s going to be close and Trump has all but said he’s going to fight it if he loses. The ‘hanging chads’ of 2000 will be nothing compared to this, I fear.
Checking in from SE Georgia here, and I have to tell you that, outside of ATL, our fair state is solidly pro-Drumpf. Well, I must add that there are relatively few political signs out there, compared to previous races. However, the signs that I am seeing, and the posts on FB by local FB friends tell me that South Georgia is BIG TIME Trump Territory, I am sorry to say. Not a Hillary fan, but most assuredly not a Trump fan, either. Either way this election goes, my heart is broken. #BernieComeBack
Me too. The news this morning about Trump gaining in key battleground states is so petrifying.
I can’t sleep and I’m having trouble eating. I wake up every morning with a stomach ache. I’ve never felt so invested in an election and I’m someone who cried when GWB was elected for a second term, literally cried like a baby.
I’m so terrified, so embarrassed for our country. I just can’t believe that this is real.
I am feeling a little better today than I did yesterday. I think Clinton’s team feels pretty confident about Florida, NC, and Nevada even though Nate Silver has those states switching from light blue to pink to darker pink to blue/pink. But what isn’t being talked about and is very real, Hillary is close, very close, in Georgia, according to polling. She also may have a chance to win Alaska, at least as much of a chance to win Alaska has Trump has to win New Hampshire. I thought about 538’s volatility last night, and I wonder if NS isn’t playing it safe because so many polls absolutely blew the Brexit vote. Plus, there is Johnson and Stein to account for. In a two way race, though, I think Hillary would have a solid 70 to 75 percent chance. I will say, though, that I do kind of fear some sort of “bomb” today. Because if there is a bomb in the works (wikileaks, announcement from FBI (very very unlikely)) it will drop by 5 pm EST. If we can get through today without “A Major Broadcast Announcement” then I think things are going to really shape up for Hillary.
Thanks, Rhiley, you made me feel a bit better.
I’m not a superstitious person but I tend to go there during election time, which is why I’m scared to get too optimistic.
Rhiley,
i’m from Georgia and I’m amazed by the Clinton campaign’s underestimation of my state. I know we seem like a bunch of crazy redneck bigots from the outside, but there are a lot of younger people, people of color and generally decent people with common sense here (of all colors of course). Especially in Atlanta, when I go into the city I see a lot of Hillary signs. I think if she had campaigned more here she could have a solid friend in Georgia. It would be so amazing to me if Georgia went blue, but it’s at least a little more purple than it usually is.
Kitten,
*hugs*
I hear you. This election has triggered my anxiety and depression like never before. I cry all the time. It’s so hard for me to chill out, and I’m a freaking yoga teacher. I’m going to sob no matter who wins, but for two very different reasons.
Hey Literallyshambles,
*waving from SC* … I am so amazed, happily amazed, that within my lifetime, I may see the great state of Georgia turn blue and stay blue. SC will be the lone red state in the Southeast I think. I am perplexed why Clinton hasn’t put more resources into Georgia, especially this week. Because that would be a headline. Clinton flips GA and she really had a shot too. I heard Robbie Mook talking about Arizona and GA and I gathered that there must have been enough consistent polling on their team to determine resources would be better spent in Arizona, but that looks like it may have been a mistake on their part. I think if they were really working it in GA now, Trump would be way more on defense because he would have to fight for Florida, North Carolina, and Georgia- who would have ever thunk it?
I was okay until a week ago before this FBI probe, and since then just sick. I have stopped the television news and cable shows, which seems to help. The constant talk and almost glee that this election is close by the television news is nauseating and scary. My only conclusion from all the polls is there is too many pollsters with different methodology especially about the type and age of people voting, and I am afraid we can’t really tell. Now the Brexit polls weren’t really wrong. Yes they had a slight victory for defeating it, but it was within the margin of error. Which is where we are now with the presidential race. The thing about the US is with the electoral college the overall vote doesn’t really matter, it’s individual states and it makes the whole thing a bit different than one vote like Brexit. Also does anyone else find it funny now Trump and his team are touting the polls again since he is close. Yes they were rigged two weeks ago, but today they are fine. People really buy this crap is what is amazing to me.
I read that HRC is better in the polls then Obama was at this time in 2012 so that helped me go about my day.
I am more hopeful but I am in a delusion that there is no way Trump will win so I can function. If I didn’t have kids I’d be calling in sick & getting drunk all the time.
Here is my prediction- HRC will win by a landslide & we will all cry for a while & then be so pissed. All typical and not insane Americans should be up in arms after this (can we clean out the FBI). I think Trump has hurt the GOP more the anybody has hurt a party in a long time (McGovern will not even be close) and they will lose power in the senate. Then good things get passed & done.
Someone said yesterday on NPR that when things are being killed & taking their last gasp is when they are the loudest & fiercest. I think that’s the altright now and the racists- they had their chance and it will get squashed (or my hope in the world is f-ing gone). They pop up every couple decades (per some other story on NPR about the disenfranchised racist whites) so we have a while to get stuff done and they will be nursing their wounds. I think in the pages of history, Trump will be laughed at, revered as when the wheels came off the cart & be the thing that will be impetus for change.
Side note- I think in the pages of history (or my story) will be Bernie supporters being huge in the election. I thought they would have more pull after this election because of all the ground they gained before but Trump just made it so much more fertile ground. The country is read for some anti-racist, anti-violence, ERA stuff to be done. I have faith in my country of equal opportunity as a core value that we will be better after all this is said is done.
@MC2: I agree about the need to be angry, and as a liberal, I am especially angry with the moderate right winged Republicans who did nothing to SHUT.THIS.SHIZZ.DOWN when they had the chance. They have no backbone. Paul Ryan is such a sorry little school boy. Grow up and stop pandering to the alt right you wimps.
I want the polls to show he’s in the lead so Dems will panic and get to the polls, vote and landslide a victory over him!
I’m worried we all got a smidge too cocky in the past 2 weeks and that pushed people away.
Kitten -me too! The stakes are so high…..
Erica: Not me. I don’t know anyone who is taking this lightly. Most of us have voted already. This is Trump we’re talking about, he brought fear to the fearless, a fug like him, hard to imagine. I am concerned that the droves who came out to vote for Obama may not be in such a hurry. I hope to God that changes real quick. The clock is ticking man…….yipes.
Kitten, I cried too when I found out G won. BOTH times I cried. The second time harder though. And I was in the effing MILITARY at the time. However, crying when you see the country you love heading in a direction that is troubling…I consider that to be a completely normal reaction in a fully-realised adult human who has the capacity for empathy.
Right there with you, Kitten. This is so scary, you guys. I never thought it could be worse after the GWB elections. This is new-level nightmare.
Me too…absolutely. I am having nightmares! If Trump wins…I will be beside myself. It will be a disaster!!!
“Beee iiiit, don’t dream it. Beee iiit, don’t dream it.”
Frank N. Furter
Don’t dream it, be it 😉
You’re right! They repeat it on an on without a break in phrases, so I get confused.
Wouldn’t it be awesome to have a First Lady who only spoke in lyrics?
She is such a troll. Clearly she has no issues with social media bullies.
Also, in the 1970s, my sister had a poster of a ballet dancer that said “if you can dream it, you can become it.” Not an original line for Melania or Marla.
Yeah I obviously hate all things Trump, including his family but that’s an oft-repeated phrase. Not sure if one person can claim it.
Doesn’t change the fact that she is unoriginal af though.
She scares me. Assuming for a moment that she is not stupid, (and i don’t necessarily believe she is), we are left with the fact that she stays married and supports this monster for the perks of being rich. Or status, or power or something. How does she reconcile how he treats and thinks of women? seriously, how?
@Cindy I assume she reconciles it with her credit card.
No this is trumpness spin talking: “I’m getting “cyber bullied” because everyone is re-tweeting my bigoted remarks” or
“I’m getting “cyber bullied” because I lied about an education i never bothered to complete and everyone is pointing it out as an outright lie”
Cry me a river. The jig is up on these two charlatans and it’s not called “cyber bullying” it’s called “the age of information”.
That blouse is hideous. The fit and colour are not doing Melania any favours
Indeed. Boobs in a bag. The fact that she’s going to campaign against cyber bullying is beyond surreal given the cyber and face to face bullying her husband and some of his supporters have engaged in.
My first thought was that her implants have really started to sag. A lot of times if you get implants you get that “rocks in socks look” after a while. She might need to get them jacked back up
It’s not that she could handle more complex political and social issues, could she ? Not that cyber-bullying isn’t an important subject, of course, but it is the only one she probably understands and could handle.
“Boobs in a bag” LOL!
💰💰
I actually like the cut of it. I wold wear it, in a different color.
Okay already people, she is absolutely stunning and sexy on the outside but sadly manipulated or donald’s evil puppet on the inside. She always looks great but acts like an arse- typical 1980’s teen movie villain. Ugh already.
I love how she apparently wants to focus on bullying if she’s the First Lady. I mean you couldnt write better fanfiction at this point.
I may need a second bottle of wine for election night.
so true……..
+1,000,000,000,000
oh damn, that’s too much alcohol though
I think her as First Lady might be worse than Trump as President
BTW “how do you solve a problem like Maria” was quite a compassionate number sang by the Nuns in Austria (per the film) to a woman who was so amazing that she didn’t “fit in” the convent lifestyle. It’s really too much a compliment for the evil “fit’s in” to the trump menagerie of stepfordness Melania. A better song for the Melania?
“You’re putting’ out her white li ieees. Yer puttin on yer bedroom Iii iieees. You say yer an american citizen but yah won’t say way ay aaayyaaan. “
Can’t wait for the next 4 years of this dimwit gracing our television screens and representing us on the world stage as ‘first lady’. How mortifying.
Bite your tongue! There isn’t going to be a First Lady!!! There’s going to be a First Laddy!
Please Please let us be able to have Bill and call him First Laddy!!!!! I love this.
I love first Laddy! Yeah Heat!
She wouldn’t be doing that. Plastic ivanka would play the role of first lady and melania would be hidden away again.
#surrogatewife
Does this idiot even know who her husband is? Where is she when he is cyber bullying at 3 AM? Clearly not in the same room with him or is it just fine when her sugar daddy does it?
If it wasn’t so sick, it would be funny.
Maybe this is her way of holding up a cardboard “help me” sign while his back is turned?
Her speech was ridiculous. She went on and on about how people should stop bullying on twitter when her husband is up all night bullying people on twitter. One of the Trump stans was gushing how Melania is the new Jackie O. P.L.E.A.S.E. If this wasn’t so serious, it would be comical, but it is serious and these people are whackos.
LOL Jackie O my ass. Then again, are we surprised that these people would draw that comparison? The delusion runs deep.
I was watching yet another anti-Trump ad this morning and all I could think of was how hard it must have been for them to pick which deplorable comment to include in the ad. I mean, the guy has gifted them SO much material. Normally around this time of year I get irritated with those ads, mainly because I know that a lot of those soundbites are taken out of context but with Trump, he actually SAID all those things and more, no context needed. It’s not merely a negative ad trying to make him look like an unhinged maniac–that is literally who he is.
Exactly! You hear the words coming out of HIS mouth. What is going on….the people who follow him hear his fear mongering hatred and say yeah man that’s my guy. I am so not happy Kitten, let this be over.
This could be a fun game. Melania is to Jackie O as blank is to blank. Melania is to Jackie O as Tara Reid is to Meyrl Streep came to my mind.
Donald Trump is to Hillary Clinton as a guppy is to a whale….or a tricycle is to a Cadillac or a bread crumb to a loaf of bread or a piece of lying shit to a woman of honor and wisdom. MC2 this game could go on forever!
Jackie didn’t need to read from a teleprompter. And badly I might add.
She knows who her husband is, right? The king of cyber bullying!?
Also, that blouse is hideous.
+1
The biggest winner out of this election campaign has been Brad Pitt.
Ha! I thought about that too. If not for the election, we would be buried in Pitt Jolie stories. This fact is not lost on either of them and am quite sure they’re happy they’re not daily headlines.
yes to both of you. I was just thinking out how they’d be front and center every day if this were not election season.
and, TBT, I am kinda happy it’s going down like this, because at least their kids are getting SOME shelter.
I think you guys are right but on a personal level, I have zero interest in that story. I just feel awful for everyone involved and it makes me feel bad inside to speculate on their situation.
Ditto Kitten. For ten years all we were fed was how gloriously happy they were, come on, life isn’t like that. Some people want to hear the gory details of the demise of these celebrities, but they are human beings. Crap I hate being so cynical on a frigging Friday. Joy to the world.
agree, that’s what I meant by my last sentence. If it were simple “someone cheated” gossip and there weren’t six kids (and likely abuse) involved, I’d be interested but this is just sad all around.
I just found there is a night dedicated to the American elections in Paris at Radio France from the 8th to the 9th of November with conferences debates and old movies. I’d really like to go. I’ll see if I can manage a sleepless night in the middle of the week
i’ll be there ! rsvp STAT to one of the events if they haven’t filled up already !!
There aren’t taking any more registrations. They say there’s open access to events. I’ll probably get there around 7 and stick around for 2 hours or so
Something has always bothered me about Melania: Why does the front of her hair always look like a wiglet? Legit question. Where’s her part in the middle?
That’s actually a good question. I wondered about her hair after seeing that old video of her from back in her 20s where she’s acting like the first female president. Her hairline was very different then, not just because she was wearing it back either. Maybe she and her husband go to the same stylist?
Maybe it’s styled to hide the lobotomy scars…?
That made me LOL! Then I felt sad – Because it’s so probably true.
LOL!
Bwahahaha good one!
This cannot be the first lady. How embarrassing.
I bet Melania wants Donald tonlose so she can go back to her old life. She didn’t ask for any of this.
She better watch what she wants because if Donald loses there is going to be a lot of fall out. I believe that when he loses, she’ll be the first one he dumps because of all the controversy she has surrounding her and he’ll partially blame her for his loss (his excuse to divorce).
As long as there’s a payout I think she’d be relieved to be rid of his orange a$$.
@SuzanneToo – Yup, if I were her, I would be making that happen!
But ugh, I would never be her.
Surely she has access to Visine and Donald’s daily cup of morning crazy. You could have been a hero Melaniwhatsyourface!
Well, since the copyright is within the Trump brand and that line was uttered while he was married to his forst wife, that’s not plagiriasm in their heads
But really now that I think about it, can you imagine the insults she has had thrown at her about her looks by that grumpy old man she’s married to? Lord no
there was that thing about how he said she looked like a “monster” or something while she was pregnant with their kid
Every time she said Pennsylvania, I heard Pottsylvania.
Rocky for Prez with VP Bullwinkle!!
I like her speech.
So she’s against bullying now????
Please excuse me for a few minutes (“laughing hysterically”)
Did she remember who she’s married to? And she plagiarized again??? (“wiping tears”)
She talked about social media during her interview with Anderson last month, and it sounds as disconnected now as it did then.
Negativity is the tone of her own spouse’s campaign. Intense negativity plus bullying. Start with your own gold-plated home.
You nailed it, Christin. I noticed the disjointed speech too with many tangents. Maybe, she missed a few lines or paragraphs on the teleprompter. The head turns from left to right – I wonder if that was indicated on the teleprompter because it seemed to be very precise.
Melania was clearly uncomfortable. She was squinting more than usual.
In the AC interview and the GQ article link Rita posted, she also claims to be independent and no one tells her what or when to do anything. Yet she comes forward a few days before the election, plausibly to soften him.
I do wonder if she understands the irony of what she’s saying/reading.
hahaha the poor thing tho. she probably does have two teleprompters so she remembers to turn her head
A trophy wife is going to be FLOTUS. With all due respect to trophy wives, there are places other than the White House for botox and manicure.
i personally like my FLOTUSes to have law degrees, preferably ivy-league.
i’ll settle for a FHOTUS with a law degree, preferably ivy-league.
melania is beautiful and sexy and probably very sweet when she’s not in fem-bot mode but just, please, please god, make them go away .
amen to that!
This was beyond irony. Someone should give (or perhaps read to) her the NYT’s list of 282 tweets filled with insults, hatred, threats made-not by some nasty child-but by the 70 yr old bully she married. It would be hilarious if the stakes were not so dire.
OMG…..now I know who she reminds me of….Sofia Vergara!! I swear she is trolling us. All I can think of watching this speech is Gloria on “Modern Family.” Jay Pritchett for President!!!
I followed a Julia Ioffe tweet to her GQ article/interview with Melania Trump. Oh man, it is PhD-level shade! Highly recommend.
http://www.gq.com/story/melania-trump-gq-interview
Also, fun fact, Melania phoned the author and threatened to sue if GQ published the article. The apple wife doesn’t fall far from the husband tree!
Oh, and here was anti-bullying Melania’s reaction when Julia Ioffe was hit with a barrage of anti-semitic messages and death threats after the article: “I don’t control my fans. But I don’t agree with what they’re doing. I understand what you mean, but there are people out there who maybe went too far. She provoked them.” (http://www.haaretz.com/world-news/u-s-election-2016/1.720147)
‘Immature Plan’ is an anagram of Melania Trump.
Just sayin’.
There is a part of me that wonders if she and her speech writers hate him as much as the rest of us and these are intentional stealth bitch moves. Because that would be pure evil genius! She manages to undermine him every time she is included in the campaign. Maybe that’s not an accident and she is happier with the idea of being trophy wife and not First Lady.
At the end of the day I truly lay the largest measure of responsibility on the media who welcomed Trump with open arms and used him for all he was worth… which was (is) a lot. And for their investment of time, ink, paper, videotape and bandwidth, simply by putting him on their front pages, at the top of their news shows and offering him the catbird seat anywhere and everywhere he showed up they gave him validity. They made it real, when quite frankly the right place for Trump was on the back page, or page 3, or the life section, or under the heading of “wierd news of the day” or the last story on the nightly newscast along with the waterskiing red squirrel and the largest carrot ever grown to give the folks something to chuckle about as they shuffle off to bed. Trump is a joke. The media could have blared that headline (under “weird news”) and run a story detailing just how insane the notion of Trump as President was. It could have been a one-day wonder, lining birdcage and garbage bins by the next 24 hour news cycle.
But they didn’t cover Trump as he is (a dangerous, bigoted lunatic, liar, cheat and serial sex assaulter) they kept him on the front page and raked in the ratings and the revenue. And because people were fascinated and enjoyed giving themselves little shivers of terror and disgust imagining him winning (while certain he would lose because, hey – I mean… Trump!) media kept him on front pages and at the top of the news and soon the sheer amount of coverage – and the quality of the drama as he happily gabbled on endlessly about his horrifying stupid ideas -meant that he and his unconscionable half-baked plans along with his orange flesh, the swirling mass of back-combed, side-combed, teased and lacquered peach-coloured monstrosity glued to his head and the tiny little fat-fingered vulgarian hands that never stop moving and pointing and making the “OK” sign, would be with us until election day.
And now we have to consider that election day may not bring an end to the worst joke of the last century. Possibly the worst joke ever.
It must have been funny at first; newsrooms the world over betting in the office pools just how long they could keep this insane story going before some grownup finally stood up and hollered “enough! The election of a President isn’t a joke. Get off your backsides and go out in the world and get some stories that don’t feature an illiterate sleazebag megalomaniac trying to take over the most important job in the world. NOW! GO!”
Sadly no grownup stood up. There isn’t one. We’re on our own: you, me and the water-skiing red squirrel equivalent candidate of the 2016 Presidential election. And he could win. Trump winning will be a disaster of such magnitude we may never be able to measure or even comprehend the extent of his ffect on the world.
All things considered, I’d prefer the red squirrel over the orange lunatic. Heck – the giant carrot even.
😓 I am anxious.
Great comment! I agree mostly with what you said and LOVED how you said it!!
Yes. Absolutely media is to blame. We’re truly living in Idiocracy land now
Filling 24 hours of ‘news’ has led to this. If the orange one isn’t soundly defeated, then it just opens the door for the next reality show/quasi-celebrity (public service experience not required) to run in ’20 and generate viewership and click bait.
I thought Sarah Moosewoman was about as unprepared and ridiculous as we could get, and she was a VP candidate. Now look where we are. The bar is so low, it is unbelievable.
Cut and paste of my comment from yesterday:
Melania declared (reading from the teleprompter) that if she becomes FLOTUS, her focus will be the prevention of bullying via Social Media. I would like to know what steps, if any, she plans to take in preventing Trump (God forbid that he wins) from attacking others using the same medium. Will Melania be an advocate for bullying prevention when Trump loses?
View her speech on CNN: http://www.cnn.com/2016/11/03/politics/melania-trump-speech-pennsylvania/index.html
——————–
Is Melania campaigning for her husband over the next four days? Cue that teleprompter and squinting.
Jane, I am giving you a standing ovation for your comment. My thoughts all along as well. The media legitimized this orange nutcase. But it’s even more sickening how many people bought into it. I say this knowing my sister-in-law fits in with the other hypocritical deplorables. She has always been a bully but she’s now burning bridges with me because of her treatment of her elderly parents who are for Hillary. This woman goes to Mass every day and says Trump is a good, Godly man. She also told her parents they were evil devil worshipers for being Hillary supporters. It’s beyond belief we have to deal with family members who behave this way. I hope I maintain some semblance of sanity throughout this awful mess.
About Melania: it is hysterical to hear the CNN bobble heads talk about how great Melania’s speech was, they all handled her oh so gently with kid gloves instead of the tongue lashing the hypocritical speech deserved. How much medication was she on to be able to say “People shouldnt be so mean on social media” And as far as first lady material, let’s not forget her nude “modelling photos”. Really?!? Could you begin to imagine the Repub’s reaction if Michelle Obama had that lurking in her past??
…if I wasnt in work I might well be part of Trumps support..so I will say this..he played it right cos he got a lot further than Perot…& its (almost) not been a race between two sides of the same coin…but sadly no-ones fooling anyone…
One of his surrogates just turned into a screeching wild person when asked a simple question about M’s immigration history (per the AP story). She left the set and could be heard off-set telling someone to take her mic off.
Desperation, perhaps?