Oh no! My immortal beloved, Gerard Butler, might be headed to jail for the beat-down he put on a paparazzo last fall! I’m totally going to put my hair into a nasty beehive and run down to the Los Angeles courthouse for Gerry’s June 10 arraignment, just so I can scream “Gerard Incarcerated!” And then, you know, I’ll smoke some crack or whatever else Amy Winehouse did after Blake Incarcerated’s court dates. But I digress.

In a story as old as Hollywood hissy fits, Gerard Butler might have to do hard time for tearing this photographer a new one. The original incident occurred the night of October 7, 2008. Allegedly, this photographer was trailing Gerard’s limo for hours, and then verbally harassing Gerry whenever he got in and out of the limo. Gerry lost his temper, and kicked his ass. Sort of. The pictures of the photographer show a guy with a bloody lip. That’s not really an ass-kicking, it’s just a couple of punches.

Gerard Butler has another notch on his belt, but this time it ain’t a chick …he’s scored a criminal charge.

Butler has been charged with misdemeanor criminal battery in connection with a run-in with a photog on October 7, 2008. At 2 AM, after a premiere party for “RockNRolla,” Butler left Crown Bar in a limo and allegedly popped a papper in the lips three or four times. The L.A. City attorney filed the charge yesterday.

Butler’s reps have said the papper had stalked the star, and chased people through the streets. The rep claims the papper almost killed a pedestrian.

If convicted, Butler could face up to 6 months in jail. Butler is due in court for an arraignment on June 10. Butler’s lawyer, Blair Berk, declined comment.

[From TMZ]

The investigation into the incident started in the Los Angeles attorney’s office quickly, but several of the gossip sites had their own theories. Just one day after the altercation, TMZ had multiple sources alleging that the photographer was driving recklessly, chasing Gerry’s limo, and nearly hitting several pedestrians. TMZ’s sources also claimed: “[After] Gerard allegedly got out of the limo and struck the photog in the face, the photog continued following Butler for more than an hour before going to the hospital. But the agency the photog works for says Gerard struck the dude at 1:45 AM and he was at the cop shop at 2:10 AM…And, we’re told, the photog spoke with a civil lawyer before contacting cops.”

From my research (research = starring at pictures of Gerard Butler shirtless), I’ve found that this is Gerry’s first ever charge in America. Meaning that the whole “oh my Gawd, he could go to jail for six months and he’ll live a jailhouse thug life” worry is probably misplaced. Even if he’s found guilty – which he won’t be – he probably would just get a slap on the wrist. Here’s another thing – he’s not even an American citizen! If he gets jail time, he could be like, “Whatever, Scotland won’t extradite me, bitches.” He’s just here on a work visa – although I would be happy to help him expedite a green card application in exchange for a marriage based on him walking around naked and feeding me chocolate.

Gerard Butler is shown 12/11/08 – not the night in question and at the Golden Globes on 1/11/09. Credit: PRJ/Fame Pictures