The newly single Lindsay Lohan would like us all to know that she hasn’t converted to Islam. She is, in fact, simply educating herself on it. In the summer of 2015, Lindsay was spotted carrying the Quran as she made her way around New York. When not enough people asked her about it, she told The Sun that she was reading the Quran because she was embracing her religious reawakening. When no one asked about that, she went on a Turkish TV show and claimed, “They crucified me for it in America. They made me seem like Satan.” (Her words, I couldn’t make this up). Since then, she has invented her own accent that she calls Lilohan, opened a club in Greece and wiped her Instagram of all media, leaving just the blessing ‘Alaikum slam’ which is a beautiful sentiment that roughly means, ‘Peace be upon you’:

Isit true Lindsay Lohan may be converting to Islam? Alhamdulillah! :') welcome to Islam ❤️ pic.twitter.com/4g8V9ujSuW

— Zarith Sofea (@Zarithsofea___) January 13, 2017

As you can see, many thought this to mean that Lindsay has converted and took to Twitter and other social media to welcome her. Alas, Lindsay’s friends have slithered out of the woodwork to deny this and reiterate that Lindsay is just learning about it. Lindsay is forever learning things, people.

Lindsay Lohan’s friends tell us she hasn’t converted to Islam, but is just “educating herself.”

“Lindsay is educating herself on different cultures and their practices to be able to better understand the people and communicate,” said a pal of the actor, humanitarian and club owner.

[From Page Six]

I had to excerpt and cite that as I didn’t want you to think that I had described her as a humanitarian. However, in her defense, Lindsay did travel to Turkey to visit with Syrian refugees and was very well received according to Dina Lohan sources, who also suggested Lindsay-who-speaks-Lilohan was more enthusiastically embraced than Angelina Jolie in her Syrian efforts. Thus my questioning of the ‘source’.

Speaking of Lo-Momma, she said Lindsay wiping her Instagram was no big deal, that she’s just taking a break from social media. Nothing inherently wrong with that but she did wipe all the photos raising awareness for the refugee hospital and the publicity shots for her Greek nightclub. Considering that she’s a spokesperson, I do think it’s kind of a big deal. Personally, I fully support any reawakening in Lindsay. I would love to see something give her a sense of grounding. But let’s be honest, when Lindsay keeps bringing something up, it is not because she is finding her center, it’s for the rush of seeing her name in the headlines again.

This one’s for Kaiser:

Photo credit: WENN and Fame/Flynet Photos and Getty Images