J.K. Rowling had a busy weekend. First she had to tamp down the discussion of how her death would be celebrated. Then she got all gussied up and hung out with Lin-Manuel Miranda at the BAFTAs on Sunday, as well as people like her Fabulous Beaster, Eddie Redmayne, and Emma Stone. It was nice.
Oh yeah, and she eviscerated a very deserving Piers Morgan on Twitter.
It doesn’t surprise me that Piers didn’t heed my warnings about doing battle with J.K. But what does surprise me, and I know it shouldn’t, is that he honestly sounded like he thought he was going to, or worse – had – won.
Let me back up a bit to give you some context of how the slaughter happened. On Real Time, with other guests John Waters, Karine Jean Pierre and Australian comedian Jim Jefferies, host Bill Maher said towards the end of the show, “The people who said, during the campaign, that Hillary Clinton was ‘The Lesser of Two Evils’. Could we get the apology right now?” Piers, who claims he wouldn’t have voted for Trump but is supportive of everything he’s done (???), asked, “Why?” Maher listed some of the highlights from Trump’s Reel of Horror, to which Jefferies added ‘The Muslim Ban.’ Piers proceeded to deny there was a ban, which immediately prompted Jefferies to tell him to “F*ck Off,” as pretty much anyone who had heard Trump and his administration call it a “ban” would. So Piers went off on some diatribe about the Left alienating everyone because they swear or something. You can watch the NSFW (language) clip here. The part I am discussing starts about 5:56. Piers went so far as to say Jefferies was, “losing your audience,” which Jefferies disproved by asking the audience so he flipped Piers the bird. It was a dramatic moment and slightly cathartic to watch if you don’t care for the rhetoric of Trump’s defenders or, you know, just think Piers is a sweated pig who wallows in his own sh-t.
J.K. also found it cathartic and mentioned that on Twitter:
Yes, watching Piers Morgan being told to fuck off on live TV is *exactly* as satisfying as I'd always imagined. https://t.co/4FII8sYmIt
— J.K. Rowling (@jk_rowling) February 11, 2017
That’s it. That’s where it should have stopped. Unless Piers wanted to say, “ha ha, good one, Jo!” he should have kept that vile pie-hole of his SHUT. But he didn’t, because he is incapable of silencing his ignorance and because a girl punched him on the school yard. So he came for her in what he thought was a clever retort. J.K. did not find it so clever, and responded. And then Piers responded. It was like watching Rocky get owned by Apollo Creed, only Rocky is a pretentious **shole and instead of remaining standing, he was in a fetal position with both eyes swollen shut spitting, “nuh-uh – you are!”
This is why I've never read a single word of Harry Potter. https://t.co/XUJBMs4KKm
— Piers Morgan (@piersmorgan) February 11, 2017
Because you had a premonition that one day the author would roar with laughter at seeing you called out for your bullshit on live TV? https://t.co/8rkKSqJTnG
— J.K. Rowling (@jk_rowling) February 11, 2017
@jk_rowling same reason he never saw Star Wars – in '77 he knew one day the prequels would star an actor who argued with him on Twitter.
— Wu Ming (@twlldun) February 11, 2017
Everything I said was factual.
If you think screaming 'FUCK OFF!!!' at me changes that, then you're mistaken. https://t.co/0U9fVoTjfc— Piers Morgan (@piersmorgan) February 11, 2017
.@piersmorgan Would you like a couple of hours to mock up some pictures of refugees carrying explosives to substantiate your position? https://t.co/sFj0kqIajd
— J.K. Rowling (@jk_rowling) February 11, 2017
The superior, dismissive arrogance of rabid Remain/Clinton supporters like @jk_rowling is, of course, precisely why both campaigns lost.
— Piers Morgan (@piersmorgan) February 11, 2017
The fact-free, amoral, bigotry-apologism of celebrity toady Piers Morgan is, of course, why it's so delicious to see him told to fuck off. https://t.co/4XNF4G0nlD
— J.K. Rowling (@jk_rowling) February 11, 2017
I see: if you win, you're right? I seem to have read something rather like that before… hmm… pretty sure it was in German… https://t.co/omRwd6l2RW
— J.K. Rowling (@jk_rowling) February 11, 2017
.@piersmorgan If only you'd read Harry Potter, you'd know the downside of sucking up to the biggest bully in school is getting burned alive.
— J.K. Rowling (@jk_rowling) February 11, 2017
#StillHurts pic.twitter.com/28rUHy2McC
— J.K. Rowling (@jk_rowling) February 11, 2017
And then Piers’ son Spencer chimed in – and it was perfect:
Well this is awkward @piersmorgan @jk_rowling pic.twitter.com/OHhkj8TWlM
— Spencer Morgan (@spencermorgan93) February 11, 2017
Piers wrote an op-ed in his defense for the Daily Mail saying what a big meanie J.K. is to defend his position on Trump.
To make matters worse, Piers is trying to tell us he won. No, you don’t get to say you walked away the victor from a fight while you are still carrying your ass on the silver plate J.K. served it to you on.
As you can imagine, this had its own set of reactions:
A bookshop is tweeting Harry Potter line by line to Piers Morgan https://t.co/fcdtnOSgI4
— The Independent (@Independent) February 13, 2017
This is Piers Morgan's new column so you don't have to click on the Daily Mail pic.twitter.com/qCqSpgl28t
— TechnicallyRon (@TechnicallyRon) February 13, 2017
Oh well. Piers came for Beyoncé last night. You can take a breath, J.K., The Beyhive will take this shift.
Photo credit: Twitter, Getty Images and WENN Photos
this was divine. Especially, as he did not answer to her last 3 tweets. That silence was all it took.
Winning tweet was his son’s though…..
I don’t get it. What does his son’s tweet mean? Can someone explain?
His son has the Deathly Hallows symbol tattooed, it’s from the Harry Potter books.
His son has a tattoo of the Deathly Hallows and is also wearing a necklace of the same symbol. Straight from Harry Potter.
Judging by the jewelry and tattoo, son is a Harry Potter fan (I think it’s the Deathly Hallows symbol).
His son’s tattoo and necklace are the mark of the deathly hallows, a huge symbol in the Harry Potter world. Meaning his son is a huge fan, he’s probably so embarrased of his dad. I really dont know how Piers Morgan ever got away with what he did or the fact that he still writes and appears on t.v, he should have been thrown in jail in my opinion. That guy is total vermin.
Spencer Morgan, I love you and forgive you for your parentage. Swoon.
Too bad he doesn’t have his son’s sense of humor. I saw the BM episode the night it aired and it was glorious. I knew it would hit celebitchy. Lol
Even his own son doesn’t like him…
I watched Real Time and it was awesome, especially when Jeffries called out Morgan for defending Trump because he won Celebrity Apprentice.
Everything Morgan said on the show was stupid, myopic and awful.
Ha ha ha! That’s hilarious!! What a tool!!!
SUCH a fan of J K Rowling…💕
Piers Morgan sold his soul to Drumpf.
His son though…SAVAGE
Also people (rightly) pointed out that if he existed during WWII he would probably hack Anne Franks phone. That was probably one of the more chilling and correct comments I saw this weekend. The fact that he didn’t go to jail for that mess (or sued to oblivion) is tragic.
*chuckles while doing a Harry Potter marathon* when will they learn to stop coming for J.K? Attempting to come for an author is one mistake that I will not make.
Right?
I would watch JK Rowling and Patton Oswalt take down trolls all day every day.
He showed up to a battle of wits unarmed…
I’ve read some of Morgan’s Trump articles on the Daily Mail. It’s disgusting how much he loves him.
“If only you’d read Harry Potter, you’d know the downside of sucking up to the biggest bully in school is getting burned alive.”
Ouch. Game, set, match to J.K Rowling.
He’s a complete tosser.
Piers has little, or no morals.
For those who don’t know, before Piers made his name in the US, he was editor of 2 UK tabloids.
He left the News of the World for publishing a story that was against the editors code of conduct (a complaint which is was upheld by the Press Complaints Commission. Plus all the phone hacking that was going on there which led to the closure of NOTW).
He was then fired as editor of the Daily Mirror, after publishing a story – which turned out to be false – showing British soldiers abusing Iraqis.
Yup, he’s a repugnant, self-important, self-satisfied, oleaginous complete tosser 🙂
He also “named and shamed” Arsenal fans involved in a hooligan dust-up at a match in Copenhagen in 2000. Problem is, he named fans who were not involved. Those fans lost their jobs and their season tickets, even after proving they were innocent. Piers, himself an Arsenal fan, never admitted guilt and never apologized. He’s repulsive.
He thinks he won? He must subscribe to alternative facts.
My sympathies to his kids. Sincerely. I wonder if he places any value on their feelings at all.
Ha! Yeah right.
she is amazing. I love every single thing about her.
The similarities between the Harry Potter series and real life right now are honestly startling.
Pence has Voldemort’s face, so there’s that.
She and Patton are the best. They can slice you with a word. No anger. NO cursing. Just using the English Language as a cutting tool; and doing it so well. I love it.
And seriously looking at them you don’t get that they are lethal.
WORD NINJAs..
The English are the masters of insults. They can insult you and make you think they’ve just paid a compliment. It’s a skill I envy so….
And now he’s coming after Beyoncé?! He has no idea what’s about to hit him. Lol
I think what’s important here is that all these fine women–J.K., Bette, Meryl, and Sally Yates (!!)–are speaking up and speaking loud and turning the thumb screws tighter on Emperor Zero’s baby thumbs.
I also include Kate McKinnon and recently Melissa McCarthy for keeping the pedal to the floor with tremendous comedy that may well be the nadir of such sketch comedy, with all due respect to Gilda, Jane Curtain, Jan Hooks, et al.
I’m not longer fully ashamed to be a US citizen.
Whispers: I think zenith maybe, rather than nadir ….?
I can’t stand Piers Morgan and I will never complain about anyone schooling him, but…
…am I the only one that feels that JK Rowling comes out as very arrogant and intelectually haughty in most of her Twitter comments? She always has to answer with demeaning words to anyone that dares to criticize her (and I’m talking about real criticism, not trolls) and looks down on others. I’m still very disappointed at her for replying to a troll by calling him/her a “virgin”, as if that was something bad you have to be ashamed of. I don’t know, it bothers me that everyone applauds her for everything she puts on Twitter when many of those comments are really beneath her.
Believe me, you aren’t the only one noticing. I used to be a huge fan of hers, but after reading her tweets, not so much. Apparently some folks are even calling her out too. Mike Cernovich on twitter wrote “Hi @jk_rowling, I will personally buy plane tickets for up to 100 refugees to live in your mansions for a year. How do we make this happen?”
Her response? Radio silence.
Joining JK Rowling: hahahahaha!
Hecate, I really like your last sentence especially.