Chrissy Teigen has penned a first person essay for Glamour about her bout with crippling postpartum depression. Chrissy and her husband, John Legend, welcomed their first child, daughter Luna, last April. She gives the impression that she has everything together, that she’s happy to go to events, to keep modeling and to keep fighting the good fight on social media. It’s clear from her story that Chrissy has been hiding the fact that she’s been very depressed and not feeling like herself. She spent days on the couch, she burst into tears often, and before seeking treatment she often had trouble just getting ready to leave the house. Before anyone chimes in with “I had it harder,” Chrissy will acknowledge that you did. She writes that she realizes how privileged she is and that it took her a long time to open up about this because she realizes how selfish it sounds. Her story really resonated with me and I admire that she shared it. Chrissy rarely has problems sharing what’s going on with her but I got the impression that this was different, not easy for her to admit. Chrissy went on an antidepressant earlier this year and it sounds like she’s on the other side of this now. You can read her full essay on Glamour and here’s an excerpt:
When I wasnāt in the studio, I never left the house. I mean, never. Not even a tiptoe outside. Iād ask people who came inside why they were wet. Was it raining? How would I knowāI had every shade closed. Most days were spent on the exact same spot on the couch and rarely would I muster up the energy to make it upstairs for bed. John would sleep on the couch with me, sometimes four nights in a row. I started keeping robes and comfy clothes in the pantry so I wouldnāt have to go upstairs when John went to work. There was a lot of spontaneous crying.
Anytime I was seen out, it was because I had already had work or a work event that day. Meaning I wouldnāt have to muster up the energy to take a shower, because it was already done. It became the same story every day: Unless I had work, John knew there was not a chance in hell we were going on a date, going to the store, going anywhere. I didnāt have the energy….
Before this, I had never, everāin my whole entire lifeāhad one person say to me: āI have postpartum depression.ā Growing up in the nineties, I associated postpartum depression with Susan Smith [a woman now serving life in prison for killing her two sons; her lawyer argued that she suffered from a long history of depression], with people who didnāt like their babies or felt like they had to harm their children. I didnāt have anything remotely close to those feelings. I looked at Luna every day, amazed by her. So I didnāt think I had it.
I also just didnāt think it could happen to me. I have a great life. I have all the help I could need: John, my mother (who lives with us), a nanny. But postpartum does not discriminate. I couldnāt control it. And thatās part of the reason it took me so long to speak up: I felt selfish, icky, and weird saying aloud that Iām struggling. Sometimes I still do.
I know I might sound like a whiny, entitled girl. Plenty of people around the world in my situation have no help, no family, no access to medical care. I canāt imagine not being able to go to the doctors that I need. Itās hurtful to me to know that we have a president who wants to rip health care away from women. I look around every day and I donāt know how people do it. Iāve never had more respect for mothers, especially mothers with postpartum depression.
Iām speaking up now because I want people to know it can happen to anybody and I donāt want people who have it to feel embarrassed or to feel alone. I also donāt want to pretend like I know everything about postpartum depression, because it can be different for everybody. But one thing I do know is thatāfor meājust merely being open about it helps. This has become my open letter.
Chrissy’s story sounds very similar to what Hayden Panettiere described when she opened up about having postpartum depression. She didn’t realize that she had it because she didn’t want to hurt her baby, but everything was difficult, she was sad all the time and didn’t understand why. Depression can be caused by hormonal changes like having a baby or going through menopause (raises hand). There’s no shame in seeking treatment, and the more celebrities open up about it, the more the stigma lifts. I really like what she said about how she doesn’t want people to feel embarrassed or alone. I needed to hear this and it did raise her in my estimation.
"I decided Iād talk about something no one really knows about me"ā@chrissyteigen, our April cover star. https://t.co/Rs1TD3Pz8p
— Glamour (@glamourmag) March 6, 2017
Hereās what you need to know about postpartum depression: https://t.co/m2e6cRlKNv pic.twitter.com/iM8QHgRoFm
— Glamour (@glamourmag) March 6, 2017
That baby is just gorgeous….
Crippling is the perfect word to describe PPD.. I’m glad anytime someone speaks up about it.
Luna is sooooo cute š¤
that was honest and touching. I’m glad Chrissy is speaking out, it shows others that depression can hit anyone, regardless of how perfect their lives look.
I wish good mental health care was available to everyone, and was considered part of overall health, not sidelined like it currently seems.
Depression is an ugly and heavy burden – this just goes to show how many people are hurting even if everything looks bright and shiny in the outside. Be kind to each other, folks.
She isn’t the first women to suffer from and write about postpartum depression. However, it’s the timing. She said it all. She had the money and support to seek medical attention, on this day that the government is gleefully delighted in repealing Obamacare. They further want to eliminate or downgrade significantly Medicaid. Has our country sunk so low that the poor, aged and anyone of color be denied health care. If I had a crystal ball and could see the future, I would throw it out the window fearing what I would see.
I don’t know much about post-partum depression but I do know a few things about motherhood. You can experience a kind of pain, fear, hurt that you’ve had never experienced before. And it surprises you everyday. I guess it’s the same for anyone caring for another human being who depends on them.
But if your hormones play tricks on you on top of that… I can only imagine.
I don’t have much empathy with Teigen and feel she often rides any train that will make people talk about her – albeit in an adorable, cheeky way – but here there is nothing bad I could say here.
I only wish that her or anyone going through the same ordeal get better soon.
I know she gets a lot of shizz for oversharing but I’ve always had a soft spot for her and this is one more reason to love her. I feel like she always speaks her truth and for me her genuine-ness ( is that a word? ) rings true . In this case we should thank her for helping to lift the stigma.
Side note: Her hubby seems to absolutely adore her….
First off I’m glad Chrissy shared this. She could’ve written about anything and she shared something painful with the world.
Second this is why you should not judge things on first glance (esp minor things not things like racism). Much like the callous comments about her not having a baby before she did (because she had difficulties) people were giving her a hard time for going out to dinner. Now we are learning she couldn’t leave the house. I can’t imagine how hard that is on top of the normal mommy shaming people do now.
This^. I know it’s hard but we all have to try hard not to judge. I know I’m guilty of it with the Kardashian clan (sorry I can’t help it!) but you just have no idea what anyone is going through. Especially when it comes to things like postpartum depression, depression, immune disorders, etc. it won’t show on the outside and people can be quite cruel. Money doesn’t protect you from everything.
Maybe it’s because everything feels like it’s falling apart around me and it is making me paranoid and mistrustful but I have a slightly less positive view of Chrissy; as someone who did have crippling PPD (no, it’s not a bloody contest, everyone experiences in their own way) I have some trouble with her “if I didn’t have an event, I didn’t leave the house or shower or whatever”…
See, most people in that condition cannot handle the “event” or the “date night” or going out for groceries, never mind when it happens with paparazzi in tow. I am not suggesting she wasn’t depressed. I am not suggesting she shouldn’t talk about it; I am not suggesting mental health care isn’t sorely in need of being better understood, or getting more funding. (The latter in particular is a shame, a lot more needs to be done to make mental health care both more accessible and less carrying a stigma).
It’s the way she talks about it that makes me go “meh”. It doesn’t feel authentic and coming from Chrissy, who as far as I can tell has made a career at this point of being famous for tweets, it feels like “me to”. I may very well be wrong. We all deal with depression and PPD in different ways. I am not a specialist and perhaps some people can have terrible PPD and yet be able to put on makeup and go out and post stuff on social media and attend parties and all that. From what I know – both first hand and from the non-famous women around me, this is not quite how it works.
but thats how YOU present. Again no two people suffer the same.
I have severe anxiety and on my worst days I still get up and go to work. Those days just mean I have panic attacks in the bathroom or it takes me longer to complete a task than normal. I have another friend with anxiety who won’t leave her house because she is in the grips of a bout of anxiety. We all present differently. For Chrissy her job is going to events. That is work for her and her baseline. For others its going to teach a class. So in the scope of HER baseline it makes sense. And when you diagnose others with disorders you take into account whatever their normal is.
What Nicole said. I also have severe anxiety and never miss a work day and still even go to events if I feel it’s obligatory. While at the same time feeling horrible.
Also, there is still so much stigma against PPD and mental illness generally that I do not believe Chrissy would lie about having this type of diagnosis. It will only make it harder for her to get life insurance, for studios to get production insurance for her to work for them, for her to get health insurance once the Rs repeal the ACA. So I don’t think Chrissy is lying or exaggerating.
I have never had PPD but have struggled with serious depression most of my adult life. When someone says they are depressed but are able to attend events, my heart goes out to them but still, this is a mild version. Thats not to undermine their suffering but to put things in proper context. Over the years, I have shared my illness with friends to explain why I have been fired again, why I am asking for financial help or why I am suicidal at that moment or why therapy and meditation dont work or why I am treatment resistant or why I am on my fourth ECT session. The response is often “Yeah, I was depressed last year but forced myself to work or pulled myself to the store.” It makes me want to scream, “thats because you had it MILD!!!!” Its like a long sighted person comparing themselves to someone who is blind. Or your sprained ankle to one thats been severed from the leg and is dangling from a single tendon. Different worlds.
In many ways I really appreciate the move to destigmatise all depression, mild, moderate or severe. I’m just really annoyed that people are not being taught to make that distinction between what you can semi function through and what is truly crippling. The milder forms have become the face of the illness and the rest of us are written off as weak or cry babies. In EVERY other acceptance movement, the face of the movement is not the mild or moderate version, its the people who really desperately need the social and government support. If you tackle poverty, you dont present those who live on minimum wage, you present the ultra poor. If you tackle black empowerment, you dont present the black people who could pass for white, you present the ones who are truly ostrascised. And yet here we are, the MH movement has been taken over by the milds and moderates and screw the rest of us. That aside, I’m glad her treatment worked. Whether she knows it or not, she is one of the lucky ones.
Sheanna, yes, yes, yes! this is an important point.
Depression (of all types), comes in a variety of intensities, and you’ve explained it very well.
I’ve never thought about the spokesperson and face of a disease and how that impacts reception.
Looks like someone is trying to stay relevant and in the news. She is so try-hard with her online presence, and now we know for sure it’s all a lie. She has been trying to make her life look perfect.
Wow. This is really unfair.
Tray, ITALY! She was photographed on a date a couple weeks after having the baby. And didn’t let up on her social media for even a day! This is just another opportunity for an opportunist. I’m glad women are starting to share their stories but not her. Everything about her is insincere to me and she also is a fake independent woman.
I had severe postpartum depression, which didn’t kick in immediately. For me, there was this euphoria, and then *wham* I hit the wall a few weeks in. Her description, the inability to leave the house, lack of initiative to even shower, are all so similar to my experience. I went on a date with my husband when our son was almost 4 weeks old, and I was miserable.
I posted on social media as if nothing were wrong. While I was experiencing soul-crushing depression and anxiety, I remained in love and fascinated by my baby. Social media eventually became an unhealthy escape from reality, and I struggled to find a balance.
I am a registered nurse, and had a complicated pregnancy. Even with my knowledge of PPD and when to ask for help, I waited a long time. Once I reached oit, it took 6 weeks to get in to see a psychiatrist, because of a shortage in providers covered by my insurance.
To assume that you have any idea of what she was going through, based one evening’s paparazzi shots and an instagram account is ludicrous.
Congrats for discouraging women from discussing this issue.
Mission Accomplished
Comments like yours are the reason so many women — who at almost every level of wealth feel pressure to present a “have it all” image — find it hard to be forthcoming about depression or mental-health problems of any type.
I respect Chrissy for doing this, and though she tends to over-share, I find her likeable, bright and honest as well. She’s also really pretty. No wonder her husband adores her.
She is a woman who makes her living in a public way. So whether you approve or not of how she makes her living, she continued to maintain a public image in order to make that living.
I guarantee you that there a thousands of women on social media who present one image of themselves to their friends and family even while they feel bad inside. Are those people “try-hards,” too? That you would use the fact that she spoke openly about a difficult thing to criticize her says far more about you than it does her.
This. This is EXACTLY why women don’t speak up. I know plenty of people who use social media to project an inaccurate picture of their life…pre-baby, post-baby, no baby. Chrissy is a brand, so her maintaining an online presence while going through this horrible struggle shouldn’t be shocking to anyone, OR a reason to judge her more harshly.
People like you are the reason people have such a problem coming in for therapy and there’s such a stigma against mental health.
I’m a counselor but I also suffer from anxiety to the point of panic attacks. When people find this out about me they are always surprised because I’m so “put together” from the outside. Which is exactly the point becuse it’s a defense mechanism for me. Celebrity is a smoke screen. Robin Williams was suffering for YEARS and no one knew. Same with Heath Ledger. We know nothing about the real people behind these celebrities. But acting okay is a defense mechanism and one I see daily in clients.
So where’s the line for you? Where’s the line where celebs lose their humanity? Because you seem to think rich and famous cannot suffer.
Frankly you seem to lack sympathy and empathy for another person. And that makes me sad for the person you are.
Tray: There is a boatload of celeb women, well actually right now I can only think of Brooke Shields and Hayden Panettiere who have publically dealt with postpartum depression. On some level I actually agree with you. She is like a Kardashian constantly looking for attention. But as I stated somewhere on this thread, it is the timing of her story. She is bringing to light what trump and the Republicans are trying to take away from woman. She acknowledges her privilege and denounces the current administration for trying to rip away health care from those who don’t share her wealth or status. For that fact, big ups to her.
Tray: Wow. I find your comment quite sad and devoid of any empathy or human feeling. Like there is a disconnect of her even being a person to you. Look up empathy in a dictionary or google it and try harder.
I don’t doubt she was depressed, but that certainly didn’t stop her from tweeting and posting ish all the time. Things that make you go hmmmmmmm!!!!!!
Love the people who are like, “she kept on tweeting”. So the need for “likes”, “retweets”, and general attention online is now a symptom of a positive mental state? I’m not arguing it’s the hallmark of a negative one, either, but it certainly isn’t proof of a positive one. Especially when that’s her job. I had PPD and never missed work. Or many social events. Because I KNOW as an extrovert, missing those things makes me worse. It was a battle, every time though.
It goes to show we just never know what’s really going on, she posts silly and happy pictures all the time on social media so we assumed she was great. I hate that she felt the need to hide this, just because she has money and help that doesn’t mean her feelings aren’t valid, it’s ridiculous that she knew people would beat her up about that, makes me sad. People tend to make everything about them instead of listening to what someone else is saying. I once posted about how I hear the word “mom” screamed at me about a million times a day and there are times it makes me want to gauge out my eyeballs, someone commented that she can’t have children so I should be grateful I have someone to call me mom and stop complaining. At first I felt awful to the point of tears, but then I got pissed, that was a really selfish thing to do, I’m allowed to feel irritated sometimes and she tried to invalidate my feelings and guilt me when it wasn’t even about her. Of course I feel bad that so many women are unable to have children and I wish I could change that for them. Same thing with Chrissy, she may have more resources than a lot of us but her feelings are just as important, she doesn’t deserve to be brushed off by judgy moms.
She’s so great and funny and honest. Love her for this in particular. I get it, I’ve been there. Let’s see. You’ve just had so many terrifying things happen to your body to the point where you don’t recognize yourself anymore, your hormones are straight up nuts, you’re exhausted in every fiber in your body. Not only that, but you suddenly are the caretaker for this tiny precious life. Personally I’m shocked even more women don’t get ppd.
Totally agree with everything you said, your life is instantly flipped upside down when the baby is born, and it will never be the same, it can be quite jarring. That first was like being in a fog for me, but luckily it cleared and I found my way out, I bet many women have PPD and just never talk about it with anyone and suffer through it.
I applaud her. I know Mothers who have suffered with PPD and from the outside everything looks great. It is too common that it is hidden because of a stigma. I fortunately did not have PPD but I have insurance and can seek help if needed. For women who do not have access to help it is a scary and lonely place to be.
This is extremely important. Thank you, Chrissy.
I admire her and her self awareness. I have no idea if I had it. Maybe I just was feeling under a lot of pressure. I was alone with a baby for 18 hours with no one around. My husband was working and redoing a new apartment for us. I spent most of the time in ahouse in a remote location. I realize in perspective that i was feeling sad because I was tired and pressuring my self to be the best mom and sometimes angry because I was so detached from the rest of wlthe world. I think I did not realize that at the time because i was on my feet most of the time. And this is part of my problem with the narrative Haiden or Chrissy present. Here is what Chrissy says: Most days were spent on the exact same spot on the couch and rarely would I muster up the energy to make it upstairs for bed. John would sleep on the couch with me, sometimes four nights in a row. I started keeping robes and comfy clothes in the pantry so I wouldnāt have to go upstairs when John went to work. There was a lot of spontaneous crying. – most of us have no time to spot the depression because he have no luxury of spending the whole day on the same spot. Most of us change diappers, feed the baby spent most time struggling putting babies to sleep rather than watch them sleep. It is hard to spot because there is no time for moms left whrn thuley become moms. And that is probably the greatest danger of it. It often burst out in the form of harming thr babies or someone else.
Unlike many people, Chrissy did say she was privileged and realised she had it easy in comparison to people who had/have an experience such as yours; this is her final bit:
“Plenty of people around the world in my situation have no help, no family, no access to medical care. I canāt imagine not being able to go to the doctors that I need. Itās hurtful to me to know that we have a president who wants to rip health care away from women. I look around every day and I donāt know how people do it. Iāve never had more respect for mothers, especially mothers with postpartum depression”.
And I gave her credit for that. My coment was not intended as Chrissy’s criticism. More as a general observation regarding how people talk about andbunderstand depression- as when you are incapable of getting out of bed and spend the whole day in the same spot on the coutch. Most women with babies disregard their mental state because they think that if they are on their feet the whole day and the most part of the night then they do not have it.
I love to read comments on how celebs are doing post partum depression wrong. SMH. People really need to not just read the excerpts but the whole article if they are going to state they are privileged. Chrissy said it and Celebitchy pointed it out as well. Reading is fundamental people!
<3
I just can’t get on board with her Kardashian level exploitation of her life for profit. In fact, she feels worse than a Kardashian to me because she seems to think she is profound, while the Kardashians own their folly. I get those Eva Ammuri vibes from Chrissy. This, like her previous decisions to post happy pictures of her Mommy life, were calculated choices made to enhance her profile.
Also, if no one has disclosed to her in person that they’ve struggled with PPD either her relationships are all shallow or she doesn’t actually know many people. PPD, PPA, the “baby blues,” etc. are common topics in many circles, and have been for decades.
I had PPD and I could have easily “passed” for being “happy” for a while. Only my husband knew the true depth of my depression until I hit bottom and my mother and sister rallied to get me help.
I’m all for people speaking out, because let’s face it, it IS embarrassing still in 2017 to admit you have a mental problem. I was so upset to have to go to my doctor and admit that I just wasn’t the happy mommy that I should have been after trying for 5 years to have my son. So YAY for Chrissy for putting her story out there, but call me skeptical…sorry, I mean, I just think this chick jumps on every single “mommy” issue out there for head pats.
Your last sentence “I just think this chick jumps on every single āmommyā issue out there for head pats” hits the nail on the head for me. It’s just gross to me when celebrities do this.
I know only one person in real life who disclosed a PPD diagnosis to me. I think probably several of my friends suffered it but were too ashamed to share that with friends. Speaking for myself, I had and have very severe anxiety and PPA and generally do not disclose that to friends. I have very close friendships but the stigma against mental illness is very real and very scary.
I’m sorry you feel you can not share your severe anxiety or PPA with even very close friends. That sounds lonely and incredibly burdensome.
I disagree, I think it is still quite uncommon, also between close friends, to talk about it openly. I dƶn’t know why, but I made the experience that new moms are rather closing up. Luckily for me, shortly after giving birth a friend told me in retrospect how she had PPD and also her partner was very anxious, got depressed and was not able to get out of bed. That really helped me accepting the difficulties we had.
On that note: does anyone of you know if a similar medical condition for man exists? It seems to me depressions/ anxiety shortly after birth are also quite common for men. I know a couple of men who were dealing with the situation so badly (as I said, not getting out of bed, but also wanting to play video games all the time; leaving the mom and baby alone all the time because they “just needed time for themselves”; partying and get drunk. Oh man, I really know LOTS of cases…). And the way me and my female friends talked about it was not emphatic at all, but really dismissive like “They should get a grip”, “MAN, you know…”. Or more emphatic but also “seperative” like: “oh, it is harder for them because they don’t experience the physical change in the 10 months before.” Which totally neglects how hard it is for the new moms, also regarding PPD. I mean, I did not feel very well prepared for these experiences.
So I think now I realize, it would have been much more helpful to see the dangers and probabilities of depression for both parent. And instead of being dismissive or gender stereotypeing asking men if they needed help as well.
Rough read through the comments here. Wow.
I had my son almost a year ago and didn’t realize I was struggling until my husband convinced me to go see my doctor. I didn’t feel sad. I felt tired, I felt frazzled, I felt a lot of things, but I didn’t really feel “sad.” I felt like I was failing as a mom, and that our kid wasn’t as happy as he should’ve been, and it made me think I needed to be better somehow. Turns out I had pretty bad PPA (post-partum anxiety). It was causing me to not trust my husband with the baby, to be borderline OCD about how things were done with the baby, terrified the baby would get dirty or sick or whatever. All just a little bit TOO extreme and heightened for a stressed out, first-time mom. I started taking Prozac and things got significantly better and easier inside my brain.
My brain tricked me. My brain told me things that were not true, and I couldn’t be self-aware enough to recognize how unhealthy it all was.
I’m about to have another baby and this time, the plan is to start taking Prozac immediately. I’m not waiting to see if it happens again.
Sounds like me. I was an anxious person to begin with, having a baby put me over the edge. I kept thinking that it wasn’t PPD, because I associated that with wanting to hurt your baby…if anything I was obsessed with him. Worried about other people touching him, taking him out, him getting sick etc. It turned me into a mess. I hit rock bottom one day when my husband emptied the dishwasher and put a still dirty dish back in the cabinet…I literally went beserk, I just couldn’ handle the stress anymore and having to do everything and everything still seemed to be wrong and I wouldn’t let anyone help. It was very bleak. My husband called my mom and she forced me to call my doctor while standing right next to me. It was either that or she was calling. It was only after being on meds (Celexa for me) that I even realized how bad I felt. My son is now 7 and my daughter 5 and I still take a low dose and probably will for the rest of my life because I feel so good š
I want to make clear I was embarrassed then because I of what I felt was my short comings, but now I see things totally different and I think it’s a crime that we just hand off tiny humans to women and let them go with very little follow up and support. Leading up to the birth I felt like my doctors were so attentive, after birth? Not so much…I wish there was more about PPD during the prenatal time.
I’m not downplaying her struggle but she was out to eat dinner on a date with her husband literally a week after giving birth. One week. When I had ppd there was no chance of that happeneing
Everybody’s different.
My PPD was bad enough that I was suicidal at some points, and five years after kid #2 I’m still on wellbutrin, but it didn’t kick in until about three months after each pregnancy. A week after giving birth I was still on adrenaline highs and could go out and be charming and cheerful (though exhausted). Months three – ten of each kid’s life, on the other hand, I fell down black holes and have almost no memory of those time spans. Everyone is different.
It doesn’t always hit immediately. This is part of the problem. We point to one day and act like its representative of her entire life. That’s how we are able to ignore or downplay our feelings, that’s how depression can get much worse.
Some of these comments are honestly disgusting.
Look i know it’s mean…but i dont ever believe a thing this woman, who is so needy for fame and celebrity, has to say. Maybe it’s true maybe it’s not. We’ll never know, but it made glamour print an article because it’s a good story and may help others.
Her essay made me tear up a bit. I had pretty severe post partum anxiety which I had never heard of before. I functioned fairly normally but on the inside I felt like there was loaded gun against my head and I couldn’t even begin to enjoy my life as a mother. It was one of the most painful and debilitating things I’ve ever been through. And I’ve been through a lot. I had looping thoughts in my head about all the terrible things that were going to happen to my son and it was like I was emotionally living through those disaster scenarios over and over. Anyway, I did get help and medication and he’s 2.5 years now and things are a lot better. But I applaud anybody for talking about how grim it can be right after you have a baby.
I suffered it, too. I think it is much more common than currently believed.