Former Glee star Naya Rivera has paused her acting career for the time being. Whether it was her choice to do so or if some of her divattitude caught up with her is unknown but it has allowed her to spend time with her 18-month old son, Josey. Naya co-parents Josey with her ex, Ryan Dorsey, whom she divorced after two years of marriage. She gave an interview recently to SELF magazine in which she discussed Mom Guilt and the effects of pregnancy/breastfeeding on the body and hair.

Naya Rivera is taking time from her acting career to focus on a totally different kind of gig—being a mom. The 30-year-old actress rose to fame after starring on Glee for the entire six-season run of the series. Now, she’s taking things slow in order to spend more time at home with her toddler son, Josey. “I’ve been really lucky that I’ve been able to pick and choose my projects. I’m not on a full-time show right now, so I don’t have to be away from him for 16 hours,” she says. But even spending more time at home doesn’t put a full stop to the “mom guilt.”

“I feel mom guilt all the time. You want to be everything to your child,” Rivera tells SELF. “If you’re not there and you feel like you’re missing out on something, it’s totally natural to feel that.” She knows many mothers don’t have the opportunity to take time off the way she has. “I have other mom friends who work full-time Monday through Friday and sometimes the weekend, and they tell me how hard it is,” she says. “So hats off to every working mom.”

(When) her hair started thinning postpartum, her mommy posse was there to make her feel less alone. “I didn’t get this awesome, luscious mane of hair that everyone says you get when you’re pregnant,” she says. “After I had my son and [I was] breastfeeding, I saw that I was getting breakage and it was sort of thinning at the ends. [My hair] was sad looking, and I didn’t feel really confident. It threw me for a loop.”

Rivera also stresses that there’s nothing selfish about worrying about your hair. In fact, new moms need to make time to take care of themselves.

“It really is important, and I think the whole mom guilt thing is all too real. You’re always going to have mom guilt—forever,” she says. “But I would tell a new mom: ‘The first six months is the safe zone. Go out, get your hair back right, get your nails done, go work out, because the baby is not going to remember. So you don’t have to feel so guilty about taking care of yourself.’” Rivera tries to take some time (during Josey’s longest nap) to schedule what she calls “maintenance”—a blowout, manicure, and a facial.

[From SELF]

The article is pretty good because of all the notes and tips from the writer so it might be worth your time to read the whole thing. It talks a lot about hair and hormonal changes to the body, specifically citing Nioxin (because Naya has just partnered with them) to treat thinning hair but also links some other remedies. Not all of Naya’s hair woes are from pregnancy, she warns against a dye-job right after having a baby due to how it affects your hair. Whatever she’s done, her hair looks great in the photos I found. The writer also stresses that moms who see to their own mental health will be in better shape to parent their child. I think anyone working on two hours sleep would agree.

Naya isn’t wrong in her comments and I don’t want to take away from what she is saying but I think many of us had a giggle when she advised getting a manicure and blowout. Not that I wouldn’t do it but when the hell did I have the time or the money? I couldn’t do anything other than the dishes when my babies slept because I didn’t have anyone to watch them. And if I didn’t use the time for the dishes, then my Housewife Guilt kicked in. And my Wife Guilt reared its head when I no longer had the energy to hold a conversation with my husband. Mom Guilt runs with some cruel company. But it is all too real, as Naya said. And she’s right, it’s never going away. Personally, I thrust most of it on myself. I have control issues that didn’t allow me to turn over any of the things I had been managing in the home prior to the baby. And now that I am past the Six Month Safe Zone, my Mom “I Should Always Be With My Baby” Guilt has metastasized into Mom “I Have Completely F**ked This Up” Guilt and I cannot tell you how much I wish I could return to the former.

And yes, after reading my last paragraph, I understand why my child-free friends let my calls go directly to voicemail. I don’t blame them.

Photo credit: Getty Images and WENN and Fame/Flynet Photos