Aside from a few questionable hair choices, I find David Beckham to be a very attractive man. So attractive, in fact, that I can often recast his voice in my head when I listen to him speak. And I think the fine lines and ruggedness of age suits him. I understand this is not a universal opinion but I hold it – unabashedly. Why am I going on about my attraction to Beckham? Why not? It’s Friday, I’m tired and salivating over former footballers keeps me out of trouble. No, it’s not that. The reason I am explaining my lust for him is because I need you to know how much this hurts me:
Turns out, this is all Charlie Hunnam’s fault, according to what he told E!’s Marc Malkin. I should have known – *raises fist to ceiling* Huuuuuu-NAAAAM!!! While at CinemaCon this week, Hunnam explained that Becks’ face was destroyed for their upcoming Guy Ritchie’s Ode to Violent Mud-Throwing, King Arthur: Legend of the Sword. Not content to simply destroy Arthurian Legend, Ritchie destroyed Becks’ face because, Hunnam joked, it was in his contract.
Charlie Hunnam says he’s to blame for destroying Beckham’s legendary good looks.
“It’s in my contract that I must be the most beautiful person on screen,” Hunnam joked with me yesterday while promoting the movie at CinemaCon. “So I said, ‘David Beckham ain’t waltzing up here with those baby blues and those chiseled cheekbones. Throw a scar on him or I’ll be in my trailer!'”
Hunnam confessed that Ritchie thought he could keep Beckham’s appearance in the film a big secret. “There was this wildly optimistic feeling that maybe we would be able to keep it under wraps that Beckham was in the film.”
The original plan, Hunnam explained, was “we’d play half the scene and Beckham would be all scarred up and maybe you wouldn’t realize it was him and then he would turn around and it would be the big reveal.”
A pox on all your houses! I know what you’re thinking: with a cast that boasts Hunnam, Jude Law, Annabelle Wallis, Djimon Hounsou and Eric Bana – what could Becks possibly be playing? He’s Merlin! Nah, I’m just teasing – Becks plays the Blackleg Leader. I’m a bit more of a Plantagenet girl, myself, so I don’t know Arthurian lore as much as I should – what is a Blackleg leader? When I Google it, I get hits for Becks in this role and various diseases, which generates too many Becks jokes to list them all here. This is not, much to my shock, Becks’ first acting gig. He was in a short called Outlaws and The Projectionist in The Man From U.N.C.L.E., in which he was riveting (just kidding, I’d completely forgotten his cameo). So I guess his scarred face does most the acting in this role? We’ll have to wait until May 12 to see how this all pays off.
I love that his big “wow” moment was going to be a secret revealed once on film and he blew it by posting to IG. Ah Becks… you’re so pretty. Good news, though – Becks has finally figured out what Instagram is really for and has started posting multiple pics of his pup, Olive. He even made a page for her.
Photo credit: Instagram and WENN Photos
I find him hot too, silent of course! 😉
He’s very pretty (though I’ve never been into pretty boys) but getting past his horrible high-pitched voice is impossible. I have no idea how his wife manages to get turned on around him. She must have though, they do have a bunch of kids together.
I was just going to comment the same thing, he is somewhat handsome….until he starts talking.
Who needs him to talk?
Sorry, but I see nothing attractive about him. He looks like an old rat who just survived 10 days in the hot desert sun without water, and when he was younger he looked like a young rat. He looks greasy and dirty and those extremely fake teeth just add to the weirdness. I’m not even going to get started on his voice.
I read those hacked texts and emails from him, and he sounds like a grade A jerk to boot.
Screaming!!!
I hate that wrinkles on a man is considered “rugged” while wrinkles on a woman is considered “haggard”. There’s no way a 41 year old female celebrity would be allowed to get away with his skin. There’d be articles about her ‘looking old’ and how she’s ‘let herself go’ … urgh.
Yeah, agree. And that one male model that’s rough looking? I can’t think of his name, but he looks older than his supposed age, he wouldn’t get work if he was a female
The video of him sleeping that is at the NPG is peak Becks.
Hecate, I very much enjoy your writing. That’s my takeaway 😄
I suspect this is not a character out of actual Arthurian lore but added for the film. This movie looks terribly stupid.
I always thought Becks looks like Ricky Gervais. That pic of him with the scarred skin prosthetic proves that. I am not saying Becks is not hot, he is (Charlie Hunnam looks like a beefed up Spencer Pratt nowadays but I still would). Beck is very suave. Even with his messy tattoos and fugly hair he is still very elegant.
I does look like Ricky Gervais! They are both interchangeable for me as I am usually not very clear sighted when it comes to his type of attractiveness. Plus the beckhams, are, for me… Dahhh nevermind. Trying to be positive today.
Omg… now I can’t unsee it…
I’ve never bought into the Brand Beckham hype. I don’t find him particularly attractive and the high-pitched voice just grates. He has always seemed too good to be true as the email controversy showed.
David McIntosh has the same problem. Voice like Daffy Duck.
Now I’m super curious. I’ve always found him hot but never heard him speak. Off to google what he sounds like.
Back from googling. This was the first video that popped up:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ta0X67aIPJA
He doesn’t sound high pitched to me? His voice sounds fine. He does, however, look terrible in this interview.
Beckham is handsome and virile, you can give him that. But if I have my druthers, I’d take Hugh Jackman’s rugged 6’2″ Aussomeness any day to Beckham’s mouse-in-my-pocket pint-sized squeaks. I like my men tall and rugged. Beckham is halfway there (literally).
He looks exactly like my brother. Except my brother is 22 and a lawyer.
I hope it’s a non-speaking role