I have two friends who are currently debating the extent of their crush on Justin Trudeau. Because of this, I generally wake up to two or three throwback pics of Trudeau the Younger in my inbox to sway me. My heart is spoken for but the side-effect has been that now, whenever I see news on Trudeau, I have a Pavlovian reaction to read it. This weekend I was thrilled when Trudeau news crossed with Matthew Perry news because I adore Matthew Perry. Perry was on Jimmy Kimmel a few weeks ago plugging his role as Ted Kennedy in the upcoming The Kennedys: After Camelot (and probably trying to save his struggling The Odd Couple series). Paul Schaffer was sitting in with the band that night and things quickly turned to talk of Canada. Kimmel mentioned that Perry had gone to school with Trudeau, which Perry confirmed and then he confessed to beating up the Prime Minister of Canada. For shame, Matthew! For shame.

Since I don’t see Perry being a lifetime brawler, I think the fact his buddy had to remind him of this “beating up” tells us all we need to know about the intensity of the “fight.” Let’s see, fifth grade in the 70s… in Canada? I am guessing possibly an open hand to the shoulder and some nonsensical name calling? Maybe kicking, I’d put money on a shin having been kicked. That is to say, Perry is embellishing his physical prowess for the sake of a good chat-sofa story. However, I think the statute of limitations on a fifth grade slapfest means Perry and his pal won’t need the witness protection program for his youthful thuggery. But there is no statute on a grudge, Mr. Perry. Trudeau threw down on Twitter:

I've been giving it some thought, and you know what, who hasn't wanted to punch Chandler? How about a rematch @MatthewPerry?

— Justin Trudeau (@JustinTrudeau) April 1, 2017

Game.On. Not only did Trudeau come for Perry, he came for Chandler. You’d better stretch, Perry – this kerfuffle just got real. Actually, Perry realized the playground had changed and he’d need more than his buddy and rapier wit to take on Trudeau:

@JustinTrudeau I think I will pass at your request for a rematch kind sir (given that you currently have an army at your disposal)

— matthew perry (@MatthewPerry) April 2, 2017

Why do I feel like fruit baskets will be sent by both parties? Well, I suppose I should put my popcorn away because this sounds relatively settled. *sigh* I guess I’ll just have to wait for Ryan Murphy’s version of this in Season 23 of Feuds.

Photo credit: WENN Photos