The National Enquirer was the first tabloid to break the news about Mel Gibson and Oksana Grigorieva’s pregnancy, so I have to think they might have some kind of inside track on this “happy” couple. That being said, there are several pieces of information that ring false to me in this latest NE report. The gist of it is probably true – known and acknowledged alcoholic Mel is still having serious drinking problems, and it’s a cause for concern with almost everyone around him. Here’s the part that I think is iffy – Oksana is allegedly threatening to pack up her womb and walk out on Mel if he doesn’t deal with his alcoholism. According to the Enquirer, “Mel’s got a hair-trigger temper when he’s drunk, and Oksana insists she won’t stick around when he’s like that. She’s informed Mel that if he doesn’t go to rehab, she’ll bow out of the picture before they go any further.” Once again, I don’t doubt that Mel is a nasty drunk. But I doubt that any amount of nastiness will keep Oksana from her own private money train:

Mel Gibson’s pregnant girlfriend has already slapped him with an ultimatum: “Go to rehab – or we’re through!”

The Enquirer has learned Oksana – the woman behind Mel’s $1 billion divorce – is demanding the Oscar winner get professional help with his booze addiction or she’s prepared to cut all ties.

“Oksana wants Mel to deal with his drinking on a long-term basis,” a source close to the couple said.

“Mel’s got a hair-trigger temper when he’s drunk, and Oksana insists she won’t stick around when he’s like that. She’s informed Mel that if he doesn’t go to rehab, she’ll bow out of the picture before they go any further.”

The 53-year-old superstar – whose 2006 DUI arrest and anti-Semitic meltdown made headlines around the world – has struggled for years with a drinking problem. And while he’s owned up to alcoholism and is a big AA supporter, [Mel] has never entered a residential rehab program to deal with his addiction.

Oksana – who is four months pregnant with his baby – believes alcoholism is the reason [Mel] indulged in so many extramarital affairs, according to another source.

“Oksana thinks Mel will be less likely to cheat on her if he’s not out drinking,” a Gibson family friend told the Enquirer. “But she knows that Mel’s very stubborn and that it’s hard for him to stop drinking, especially now with all the changes in his life.”

“The good thing is that Mel really loves Oksana, and he desperately wants to get his act together. He says he’s willing to do whatever she wants, but only time will tell if he stands by his words.”

A feud [between Mel, his soon-to-be-ex-wife Robyn and their seven kids] over Mel’s fortune has ensued, and sources say Mel’s older kids are worried their hefty trust funds are at stake due to his new relationship.

[From The National Enquirer, print edition, June 9 2009]

You know that silly trick people do in Chinese restaurants, where you put “in bed” after every fortune cookie message. As I was reading this, I did the same thing, only I put the words “but she’ll still cash the paycheck” after every sentence. It works beautifully. Meanwhile, in a different part of the Enquirer, there was this juicy little nugget:

No Bells, Mel? Mel Gibson’s estranged wife Robyn cracked up when a close pal questioned her about rumors that about-to-be-ex Mel will wed his oh-so-pregnant Kremlin kutie Oksana Grigorieva. Giggled Robyn: “MEL is the love of Mel’s life!”

[From The National Enquirer, print edition, June 9 2009]

That’s the next big question – will Mel marry this woman? Is he that… what’s the word… dumb? Deranged? Mid-life-crisis-y? On the same note, earlier this week, we reported on this weird little story from People Magazine that seemed like a plant from Mel’s publicity team and Oksana’s mother (who lives in Russia, and probably depends on Mel’s largesse). In the piece, Oksana’s mom says that she’s really happy for her daughter because Oksana’s finally found someone to “take care of her”. Even though the story was a plant, I think it probably held more truth than this Enquirer piece, which makes Oksana sound really independent. I think Oksana is hellbent on getting Mel down the aisle – even if he has to drunkenly stumble his way down to the priest.

Mel and Oksana are shown on 4/29/09. Images thanks to Fame Pictures .