For as long as I can remember, people have made the argument that the Duchess of Cambridge is painfully shy, and that’s possibly why she’s so bad at duchess-ing. Like, she seems awkward around people, her body language can be very uncomfortable and she seems to avoid work at all costs. Personally, I’ve never thought she was shy because she has always seemed, to me, like an exhibitionist with very little substance. There’s a difference, you know? Is she shy about speaking in public and interacting with people, or is she unprepared because she doesn’t do her homework before events? And I say that she’s an exhibitionist because clearly, she likes being looked at and admired. At an event on Thursday, Kate chatted with a kid and she said she’s shy. She also talked about feeling “isolated” as a mother.
It’s been a week of unprecedented revelations from the royal family, with Prince Harry admitting he’d come close to a ‘breakdown’ over his mother’s death, and today Kate followed in her brother-in-law’s footsteps by revealing her own struggles with coming to terms with motherhood. After hearing from two mothers who admitted feeling in need of a friend when they had small babies, she also said of being a mum: ‘It is lonely at times. You do feel quite isolated. But actually so many other mothers are going through exactly what you’re going through. But it’s being brave enough, like you obviously were, to reach out.’
She also made a candid revelation about her lack of confidence as she chatted to Oliver Monger, 16, from Uxbridge, who joined the academy when it opened last September, and hopes to go into the film industry. He told the Duchess: ‘I’ve not really had a problem I’ve needed to talk to someone about, but meeting you is a new thing. I don’t really know how to speak to someone so high. I’m quite shy.’
Smiling Kate interjected: ‘I’m shy as well, so don’t worry.’
Not to make this into some huge semantic argument, but seriously… IS SHE SHY?? I truly don’t think she is. I think she’s reserved and quiet, for sure. Lacking in substance, absolutely. Chronically incapable of preparing for events, yes. But shy? I still say no. Of course, maybe Kate was trying to be empathetic here and relate to a kid. As for what she says about motherhood being isolating… I think she’s being real there. The reason she leans on her mother so much is because Carole is the only person in her life who is always there for her. William was largely absent when George was a baby, and I bet William was in the wind soon after Charlotte was born too. William literally isolates Kate in Norfolk, and Carole is the only one she can really talk to.
Photos courtesy of WENN.
I don’t think she is shy, I think that she is afraid to show how little she knows about issues regarding (what would have to b) her JOB.
I don’t believe she is shy – by all accounts she was a fairly ruthless schoolgirl, and unrelentingly pursued William at St. Andrews – including doing a fashion show in her underpants. I mean she can do and wear whatever, but to me, that doesn’t speak of someone who is painfully shy. Calculating, focused, ruthless – not shy.
You can be both shy and ruthless (remember the quiet guy or girl who ends up with dead bodies in their basement?) Being shy doesn’t mean you are innocent in character.
Correct me everyone if I’m wrong but I think personality is not the same as your character? You can have a loud, outgoing, bubbly or shy innate personality. But your character is more a spectrum of good to bad.
I personally think Kate grew up keeping it in the family and has stayed that way. Not many outside the family girl friends. She doesn’t have any interest in strangers, no natural curiosity. But she can be ruthless if you get in the way of her goal.
I still think she’s saving the “I suffered from eating disorders to deal with Wills” as her gold card if he tries to leave her.
When she was at St Andrews she didn’t have her mother in her life as much as she does now. I’m sure there were many, many phone calls a week, but her mom was miles away. I wonder if proximity to Carole has affected Kate and Kate’s confidence and happiness. Carole wanted so much, I can’t imagine she’s fully satisfied with the status quo. Her family isn’t sufficiently revered and Carole still doesn’t have a title!
Original T.C., ITA! You nailed it…I know lots of people who grew up with an abundance of siblings, cousins, and family friends who don’t feel the need to branch out at all socially. Especially with upper class people, who tend to isolate themselves amongst their private school and university friends. They are truly insular and very shy around people who aren’t like them. It’s snobby for sure, but still shy.
She’s only work-shy.
Ha! 🙂
I can believe she is shy yet appear to not be. I’m like that. I am painfully shy as well and yet when I am put into situations where I have to speak in public or do something outside my comfort zone, I put on a different facade and become someone else in my head, thus protecting the real person and preventing me from having an anxiety attack. I’m not trying to defend her lack of preparation for events but I’m also not going to smack her down for saying she is shy. Shyness shows itself in many different ways. Just sayin………okay, going back to my corner now. Thanks for reading……
I’m a bit like that as well. I wouldn’t call myself shy per se and I think most people who meet me these days wouldn’t either. But it was a process. If I could just act the way I feel in every situation, I would take about a week to really talk to people in a new environment. If I’m in a group of new people, I like to hang back and just listen for a while. I hate just talking to strangers. But I do it because the impression I used to give was that of someone in a bad mood who didn’t like the person they were meeting. That’s not good. So I took a job where I was forced to talk to strangers all day and now it’s not an issue. I’ve been told I come across as very open and positive. You can always work on yourself.
But I think that is her problem. She would have to work on it.
Same with me. I purposefully put myself in social situations, where i have to meet a lot of new people. It helped me to combat my extreme shyness and also learn to speak publicly without passing out from fear. 🙂
I’ll join you in the corner. I’ve taught myself to be a very high-functioning shy person. I’ve had several jobs and hobbies that involve public speaking and lots of interaction with others. I can enjoy it for what it is, and I’m also quite good at taking on an extroverted personality when I need to.
But after a day of that, I’m ready to curl up in a fetal ball and suck my thumb. Introversion/extroversion isn’t about how you appear to the world, it’s about whether you receive or expend energy being around others. Growing up in a culture that only values extroversion, it’s taken me a long time to realize that I don’t have a problem that needs to be fixed….
Would it be more classified as being an introvert as apposed to being shy??
Because I think true shyness stilts ones ability to perform in life, from my own personal experiences I am definitely shy and fear social situations, being shy is difficult due to the fact that my life involves a LOT of public speaking events… just a thought, feel free to disagree or agree to disagree. Have a blessed day everyone.
@Malificent,
Great explanation! I am exactly like this too. Having to be around people can be very draining although I will appear to be relaxed and confident, talking to all. This will be my third weekend IN A ROW of having to be at “events” with, ugh, people. It actually has me worn out thinking about it. Can’t wait for a quiet weekend when I don’t even leave my house.
“high-functioning shy person” – I’ll now describe myself as such. Shyness can be crippling but it can be surmounted.
@malificent, you nailed it.
@Malificent…….I’m thinking you just earned yourself a mic drop…….you rock because you nailed what I was talking about exactly!
My old therapist used to tell me I am an introvert with excellent extrovert skills. I teach all day, and at the end of the day, I need to go to my room, alone, and shed the energies I collect all day.
But I’m really not shy.
I think so too, and because she is putting on a facade, she over compensates and it looks like she is an exhibitionist. Though the flying skirts, there is no defense for that.
But I’ve always thought she was anxious, or shy, and that it developed after marriage, due to the scrutiny of her new life. I believe she was prepared for it, but can anyone really be prepared for that level of public scrutiny?
It’s like she is getting more and more anxious as time goes, rather than the opposite.
To me it seems like she is constantly on guard, afraid to say the wrong thing around William. I thinks she is on pins and needles every time she is in public, because she can feel him judging her every move.
Agreed Lady D. Also explains why she’s so different now than she was in the girlfriend years.
I think she has spent far too much of her life trying too hard concentrating on how to be the perfect princess/duchess/future queen, and in the process she has almost totally managed to lose her original personality, and this is what has made her so bland. She has also probably had it drummed into her , for obvious reasons, not to be like open hearted Diana. It is now very peculiar to see her trying to show empathy with this Heads Together thing, everything she said sounded so rehearsed and totally lacking in spontaneity, but we really don’t know what she is actually like in private.
I’m like that, too. I put on a different version of myself and carry on. This is because I have to – I have to stand up and do my job, have new relationships (ie meet new people) etc. Being comfortable and confident are two key components in being able to do this.
Kate seems to focus on “serious” themes because she’s expected to but she’s a different person when having to do sports. She looks so relaxed and confident and if she performed more duties related to sports her confidence would take her where she needs to be in terms of other engagements.
I absolutely agree with this. I am a terribly shy person, but when put on the spot where being shy isn’t possible, I have to be “on” and sometimes over do it. Kate has always come off, to me personally, as pretty shy and lacking confidence.
I can relate to that so much! I’m terribly shy and insecure and I always think people notice that right away. I don’t really speak to anyone I don’t know and never start conversations and when someone else enters a conversation I’m already in I will limit my talking to a minimum and just listen. But after I get to know people, they often tell me that they thought I was arrogant and mega confident or that I hated them and was super snobbish. I will probably never understand that…
LOL I get that too all the time. It’s like I’m Mr Darcy without the money and entitlement.
I am also painfully shy and hear other people describe themselves as shy when they clearly aren’t. Some people are quiet and introverted but not shy and get these mixed up. My shyness shows itself as social anxiety. I am unable to speak publicly no matter how much i am pushed. When i do have to speak up in groups or to strangers I am nervous and it’s obvious to those around that I am uncomfortable. There is no enjoyment in being the centre of attention, it’s pure terror! She wouldn’t be able to do half the things she does if she was shy, and she wouldn’t have chosen to be wife of a future king. Think about how calm she was on her wedding day. I think she is not a good public speaker and this makes her nervous and she also dislikes the public scrutiny, but judging by all her flashing and the photos pre-marriage, she is not shy. I think she was just trying to empathise with the wee boy.
Everyone’s different, though. Most of us shy people I know try to hide it. We don’t want to seem shy – it only makes it worse! How do you know how someone else feels inside? That’s part of the point of shyness, isn’t it?
I just want to point out I have social anxiety. It is pretty bad but I joined a support group and it helped. One of the things that the Doctor running it said is that SA is not shyness. They are truly not the interchangeable or the same. I think Kate reminds me a bit of myself. I get this scared look on my face in public situations and start shaking and quivering. I don’t mean to and sometimes I think I am fine and I still exhibit these signs cause I care so much what others think. I think Kate cares so much about what William thinks that it makes her socially anxious and scared about messing up.
If shyness is how you come across, I don’t think she’s shy. What she’s feeling on the inside might be different, but if shy is a descriptor about how somebody comes across she doesn’t appear shy to me. Some actors appear extroverted on film, but in interviews you can tell they’re shy (i.e Darryl Hannah, Robert DeNiro). She doesn’t seem like those actors.
I don’t even get the whole lack of confidence description in relation to her.. She doesn’t seem lacking in confidence to me. Just lazy (like William). But not actually un-confident. I don’t think she could have modelled in that fashion show in her underwear at St. Andrews if she were actually that shy (I mean, it wasn’t a career requirement like it is for an actor).
Sometimes she doesn’t perform well, but I don’t think that’s because of shyness — she and William don’t read their notes. Shyness doesn’t mean you’re incompetent — people describe me as as shy, but I’ve never thought of myself as incompetent. I know how to read notes and follow them…
She was just trying to be kind, someone probably called her ‘reserved’ once and she thought everybody considers her shy. I made that mistake for years before realizing that was neither a correct evaluation nor a popular opinion. As for motherhood being isolating – my experience is some mothers isolate themselves. I admire mothers who don’t let their kids dictate their lives, it’s good for both the parent and the child.
Eh I can’t really make a judgement on how shy she is. She’s definitely more reserved. I do fully believe her on the isolation with the children. That was fully apparent. Didn’t Diana say something similar?
I doubt that isolation part. All the aristos and the upper class are trying to get their kids to befriend Prince George and Princess Charlotte. Prince George attends some kind of kindergarten so Kate could theoretically befriend the mums there. There even social events like horse races or polo matches when Will and Kate bring their children to play with other children there. There could even be charity events and charity meetings where Kate could meet other mothers who are home makers like herself. Problem is that Kate doesn’t do charity.
It is more a kind of self-chosen isolation. Kate never really ingrated herself with upper class people which is why she has no friends among them. Prince William’s friends don’t like her much and I guess their spouses don’t either. Kate is afraid that if she tried to befriend anybody it would backfire by her new friends teling gossip to the tabloids.
Additionally there was an article that William doesn’t like Kate to become too self-reliant with her own circle of friends and such.
Last but not least if Kate builds her own circle of friends then Carole would lose power over Kate. So Carole shouldn’t be too interested in Kate making friends.
Thank you. I agree with everything you say here. I believe isolation is real when a poor single mom who has zero support and has to juggle work, chores and child rearing has no time for socializing and ends up isolated. How exactly does any of this apply to her???
There was nothing stopping her from making as many connections as she wanted, William’s presence notwithstanding – people would probably line up the offing driveway to get a playdate for their kids while the moms sit and chat over tea – you know, like most moms do every day everywhere. Or she could take her keen royal ass and hang out at one of the organizations she is a patron of and pretend she is interested in photographs or organic baby for or anything she could think of. Military moms do it, expat moms do it, moms who have no family living nearby do it – but poor shy put upon isolated Kate could not leave her isolated house where a nanny took care of her kid, a cleaner made her bed and did her laundry and a chef prepared her meals . Oy vey.
I’d say insecure but loves attention – those seem to go together under the banner low self esteem. And if you’ve spent your life striving to move up and Be Something Else – affect the accent etc – of course you’d be uncomfortable because really, who are you if you are not comfortable in your own skin?
Marvelous insight. Maybe she is that way because she isn’t who she is and isn’t comfortable with her self. Brilliant
Agree. I also think her stage mom’s constant direction exacerbated her personal insecurities and Pippa, being more outgoing and personable, was as much competition for attention as the upper class girls her mother wanted her to fit in with.
Agree. I think that if she had other people in her life besides her mother telling her to “focus on the prize” while pushing any potential friendships out of the way in order to focus on stalking a man, she’d be a more well-rounded person. Her flashing, wearing too-tight jeggings, girlish clothing choices and her obsession with her long hair are all symptoms of arrested development IMO. I think she feels out of her depth everyday what with her loser husband talking down to her on one hand and her mother organizing her life on the other. Her isolation, insecurity and immaturity are the price she paid for pursuing the life she was told to pursue. Sad that we’re talking about a well-educated 35 year old woman living in the 21st century. It seems she never explored the world, travelled, pursued a career, lived in her own place or really showed any curiosity normal adolescents do. Kate might as well be living in the 15th century with how she was brought up and how she’s chosen to live her life.
She’s never had her own place? I don’t think I know a single person who has never had their own place before marriage. How many do you know, or is it just me?
Her and her siblings lived in a flat paid for by their parents. The only job she ever had was one that her mother procured for her through family friends. I believe it only lasted a few weeks because it “interfered in her lifestyle” of chasing a demanding prince. The only travelling Kate had done before her and Wm got together was either on ski trips with her family or to South America during her gap year and only because she’s heard the Wm was going to be there. What healthy, well-adjected person lives like that? No one I know.
Bingo!
I’m sorry I stopped reading at painfully shy. I am shy too and I would never dare to wear a see through dress on a runway for all my college aged friends to see. Or for any one to see for that matter. To me that makes no sense but maybe that’s just me.
Or maybe she has a different definition for shy. It’s statements like that and past behavior that show she is out of touch.
You can be shy and still be able to perform on stage or walk an a runnway. I used to be a dancer, going on stage was perfactly fine, but it took years for me to fight my anxiety and panic attacks when I had to to greet and interact with the audience after the show. Maybe those situations where you only have to say one or two empty sentences are as hellish for her, as they were for me.
There have been reports of her shyness for as long as I can remember. Although it’s quite hard to reconcile with her prior (near-constant) skirt/hem issues and also when she sashayed (sp?) down the catwalk in a sheer dress on her friend’s fashion show (where William was in attendance and the first time she supposedly caught his eye).
I think she was probably more confident and carefree pre marriage. Now she seems insecure and just not at ease when in front of the public. I do feel for her in the sense that yes, motherhood can be isolating especially when your kids are so young. Couple that with being a royal and not having the freedom to do whatever you want to do, people judging your every move, I’m sure is very stiffling.
IMO she had 10 years to prepare to be at ease in front of the public. What she wanted was to get married to PW, but none of the public responsibilities.
Is it possible to be shy and an exhibitionist? Because I kind of think she’s both.
It would be easier to feel sorry for her anxiety re: giving speeches and meeting people if she opted for other kinds of work instead (ie. pre-recorded videos, photoshoots, ANYTHING!)
Yes, I think so and posted something about it above. I think it’s over compensation (but again, I am a kate apologist so please take with salt)
Work shy, certainly.
I don’t think she is shy either she has a lot of confidence . I believe she wants people to feel sorry for her then that would make the public stop questioning why she doesn’t work and stop the duchess of dolittle comments.I am not buying the little fragile,shy, demure duchess she is selling to strut in a fashion show in a see through dress isn’t something a shy person does.
Yep. Exactly.
People get shy, reserved, quiet, and introverted confused with each other all the time, and she likely did that, too. Though I agree that she was probably trying to be kind to the teenager. If she is shy, it may explain her constant fidgeting.
As for the isolation from being a parent – I don’t doubt it. She’s probably doubly isolated, though, from the fact that (1) she’s a famous person (and a royal at that) and (2) she doesn’t strike me as having many friends. With the latter, it seems like a combination of her/her friends being at a life stage where people’s social lives contract when they start pairing up and having kids and her (likely) being the type to ditch her friends to get a guy.
I think having no friends of her own is the real issue too cause all of their friends are his friends he grew up with.I remember reading somewhere that most of William’s friends don’t really like her and never did.
Carole did probably discourage her to have any friends who have a similar background as herself. She was probably encouraged to get friends from higher social levels.
Exactly. That’s why she was sent to expensive schools. Not to get a great education that would help her in a future career but to meet the “right people” to help her to inprove her family’s social standing. It’s all about status and money with Carole’s Clan, it seems.
I am someone who works in politics/campaigns and with politicians every day, and can i just say how gd BIZARRE their pr is. They don’t do regular interviews, they never give people a window into their private life, or engage with the general public. They leave the public to parse through random one-off’s like “i’m shy too” instead of inviting a real journalist into their home. Their entire strategy seems to be fussy, awkward, highly staged photo-ops once a month. Every pr/comms guy is trying to answer the public’s question of “why should i give a shit about X person” and the royals on answer seems to be “idk we’re already here”.
I would say someone should be fired but there is no f-ing way a professional advised for any of this.
They are already here. They will never not be here, at least in the UK. It doesn’t matter whether the public gives a shit about them, as they will always be here and reported on. They are playing a much, much longer game than any politician or celeb. They all know that periods of unpopularity come with the job, but that it is possible (in most cases) to turn that around over a period of many decades/years.
The Queen was fairly unpopular for a long time but is now immensely popular. Charles has been rehabilitating himself. There’s probably no coming back for Andrew, but it doesn’t matter at this stage. Their PR does not resemble normal PR for a reason. That said, WK’s PR has been dire, but seems to be improving.
“They are playing a much, much longer game than any politician or celeb”
What is their longer game though? W &K’s engagements are slim compared to everyone else. They do have to write their place into history like former Presidents do, so in that sense, I do think what they might have to do is a bit similar to what a politician might need and don’t get what they’re doing either. Short-term popularity doesn’t matter much, but I think the high-ranking royals do have to navigate their PR for how they’ll be perceived in history (even Diana cared).
I don’t think the Queen was ever truly unpopular. She just went through that weird time with Diana because Diana kept bad-mouthing the family, but overall the Queen has always been respected even if she wasn’t liked that much. No one has ever doubted her commitment to duty. I think Charles was able to get his respect back because he actually does his job. If Kate and William did more duties, they’d be fine. They’re not charismatic enough to get away without doing work.
Oddly enough, it was the Queen who did some long-form documentary where everyone got to see what her life was like, and Anne thought it was a bad idea.
Charles and Diana did interviews too inside their home (why, I have no idea).
The longer game is that William, infuriatingly, is quite aware of the fact that the public has a lot of residual affection for him and also that he, Kate and Harry are the “draws” for the modern monarchy. Thus far, he has calculated that he can do little work and pretty much get away with it. If he starts gradually stepping up now, as he appears to be doing, and does more work when he becomes PoW and King, he will be perceived (and remembered) well and this period will be forgotten. I’m not sure if he has the discipline for that, but that would be the long game.
Politicians have a much shorter window of time to make their mark, as you know. And celebs have to try to stay relevant. The royals don’t have to worry about that – they will always be “relevant” in the sense that they don’t have to worry about fading into obscurity.
In terms of the specific PR tactics, it is widely acknowledged that the 1969 documentary was a terrible mistake as it let too much light in on the monarchy. Much better for them to remain at a bit of a distance, a mystery.
She’s not shy. Shy people don’t flash their bits in public, nor mug for tha cameras at every opportunity. I think she’s confusing shyness and low self esteem. Or this is a load of old PR bollocks so she can appear to be ‘normal’ like us plebs.
Work shy vs shy
Kate work shy? Yes
Diana work shy? No
Kate shy? No
Diana shy? No
Result
Kate like Diana is not shy but Kate unlike Diana, is lazy as all get out.
I don’t think she is one of those people who are comfortable talking to anyone. Unlike say Prince Harry who is. She seems to have had a sheltered life, mixing with other similar people. She hasn’t worked and done all the usual stuff that helps you develop confidence over the years, so it all appears a bit forced and fake. She puts a lot of effort into being thin, the hair and being well dressed and I think she does enjoy the glamorous events but not having to meet the unwashed public yet! I think Meghan would be really good should her and Harry marry and the public will love her. I don’t think Kate will need to show her the ropes, more likely be the other way around.
I think she probably is shy. I think Pippa is the extrovert. And Kate probably feels overwhelmed by Carole who seems to be in charge and calling all the shots. As for being isolated, that’s not surprising, I mean she can hardly go to a Mummy and me support group, and I don’t know if she has close girlfriends. To me she never looks comfortable when she is giving a speech. As for the skinny jeans and fly away skirts, maybe that’s a bit of passive aggressive behaviour on her part.
She probably is isolated. I can’t see her making wine drinking chums with the other you my mummies. She a duchess. Maybe if she got involved via WORK she might make friends
Don’t know why, but I feel sorry for her. I don’t think her life turned out the way she wanted it to and now she doesn’t know how to change it
I would like to add that she doesn’t even try for real. Apparently she doesn’t seem to be able to find any joy or inspiration in the duties of her job. It is pathetic if you consider the possibilites and connections and support at her whim and whish. It is pathetic if you consider her expensive education.
I guess that their escape to Anmer Hall was some attempt to escape.
ITA – she can shape the role into whatever she want it to be. Look at Charles, he’s made an amazing job of being Prince of Wales. He has done such great things using his platform while he waits for the top job. Even Harry is making his mark with the Invictus Games and his work with veterans.
Kate thought she could carry on living the carefree, do nothing life of the dating years when she got married. The reality of it is taking a toll on her – she’s not cut out for the royal fishbowl life of service. I have always thought she’d be happier being a city living socialite who married a hedge fund owner, the life that her sister is going to have. I think Pippa would have been better suited to the royal life.
Reserved and quiet is what Kate appears to be. As a description that is perfect. And now for the interpretation of “reserved and quiet”.
Quiet: not saying anything to antagonize Whiney Willy or the Royals and quietly bending over.
Reserved: not socialising with anybody below upper class or aristocracy because she gives no f**ks about the lower people.
She learned both from her mother.
You can be shy and not appear shy. I’ve been a newspaper reporter and now I’m a new real estate agent. Nobody who meets me would probably describe me as shy when it’s my job to not act shy. But I detested press conferences with a passion because I hate speaking out in public and trying to be loud. And I had my second closing today where I was going to meet a pretty important person for the first time – in front of my clients – and I was so nervous I threw up on the way there. I can act like I’m not shy, but “peopling” as I call it takes a lot of energy out of me. I’m not a naturally outgoing person. I’d hate having to do the stuff she’s supposed to do and honestly, I would probably do as little as possible also. I feel for her. I guess it’s social anxiety or something?
Kate wasn’t shy when she worked for the name Kate Middlebum by flashing boys or when she sashayed down the catwalk at St. Andrews or when she ran other women out of the bathroom at Mahiki so she could freshen up before taking a pap walk to her car. Nah, Kate’s cousin when Kate and William visited Cambridge said once that Kate told she has difficulty being interested in other people. You can see it in YouTube videos when Kate thinks eyes are off of her and she drops the manic grinning at her charity appearances.
I don’t know why folks think that being an exhibitionist and being awkward in speaking to others/in public are mutually exclusive? I think that a person can definitely be both, and it’s only all the more to Kate’s detriment that this is the case for her. She’s perfectly okay with skirting the edges of notoriety (lol) but isn’t able to scrounge up the least bit of competency when it comes to doing her official duties.
Tbh, I think I can name a number of public figures, including royals themselves, who are awkward and shy in dealing with others. It’s a difficult thing, and it’s all the more awful when you’re under so much scrutiny, but the difference between them and Kate is that their warmth and effort is palpable because they’re actually trying. Kate doesn’t want to connect to the public, and she shields herself under the excuse that she’s some sort of awkward duckling. She could absolutely leverage that aspect of her personality to make herself more relatable and she doesn’t. What a waste.