Ciara and Russell Wilson welcomed their first child together a few weeks ago. They had a little girl and they named her Sienna Princess Wilson. Sienna is Russell’s first child ever, but Ciara has a son with her ex, Future. Their son’s name is Future Zahir Wilburn and he’s about to turn 2 years old. Future (Senior) and Ciara were famously messy, and they got even messier when they broke up. They’ve been sniping at each other for more than a year and much of it has been public. No one really knows if Future sees his son that much, but we do know that Russell Wilson spends a lot of time with his stepson. So… I didn’t blink twice when I read this message on Russell’s Instagram:
Nothing better than spending time with you. You are an amazing mom & I’m so grateful I get to spend the rest of my life with you & raising our kids. I love you! #HappyMothersDay Weekend my love. @Ciara
[From Russell Wilson’s Instagram]
It just seems like a nice Mother’s Day message. But people took issue with it because Russell made a reference to “our kids.” OUR. His kids (plural) with Ciara. People are treating this like the shadiest thing that Russell has ever done, like he’s throwing it in Future’s face that he (Russell) is raising Future’s son. There is some kind of LeAnn Rimes-esque quality, and it always makes me uncomfortable to see step-parents angling the kids away from their biological parents. But mostly I think: A) Russell probably spends more time with his stepson than Future Zahir’s own father spends with him; B) Future is so messy and he’s had so much sh-t to say about Ciara and Russell, I don’t mind that Russell’s poking at him a little bit; and C) there’s a decent possibility Russell was making a reference to his future children with Ciara. While they just have the one daughter together now, I bet they both want more kids, don’t you think?
Photos courtesy of WENN.
I’m a stepmom and I call all our children ‘our children’. I don’t call myself their mother, but they are ours in the sense that all of us (their stepdad on their mothers side included) are involved in raising them.
I think that’s normal. I feel like step-parents really get the short straw a lot of the times. Leann is a different entity because she’s just SO extra about it. But in what world would we want stepparents to love their stepkids less than bio kids? I know I’d personally want a step parent who was just as invested in giving my (non-existant) kids the best chance in life they can get. I could see if they were bogarting the kids – but as long as they’re not trying to take over, it’s great.
Yeah, one of my friends is a step mom, and calls the daughter “our” and treats her like she’s her own. But she doesn’t do anything to undermine or disrespect her mother, and they all do their best to work well together. I think saying your step child is yours doesn’t make that child any less their bio parents child.
Yes. I’m a stepmom. I have a great relationship with the mother of my 3 stepkids. I don’t call them my kids, but everyone’s different and I think especially if I had a child of my own I could see saying “our kids” collectively instead of saying awkwardly “my kid and my 3 stepkids” – it takes away from the sentiment and feels unnecessary. I do consider them my kids, in that I love them and would do anything for them, simple as that. I feel like Leann Rimes is ruining it for everyone — her motives aren’t everyone’s. Step-parenting has been a great experience in my life and I would hate to be shamed for simply expressing my love to and embracing my stepkids.
Exactly! I am a step mom myself and referring to them as “our kids” is to express acceptance of all the children involved. They are equally important to my hubby and me. To where i think dividing into mykids and step kids puts a barrier or a division of sorts. When you parent those barriers are unnecessary. Separating does not produce unity. Also treating them all fairly and equal is great way to do it. Parenti g can be a thankless job, step parenting can be even more so. But your attitude towards it makes a big difference. We try to be inclusive.
Yup, this. My step-daughter knows that I consider her my daughter, and she, her mom, her dad and I are all clear that doesn’t mean I’m her mother. We all co-parented respectfully and successfully together, and now as a grown woman my girl is glad she had 3 parents to turn to, so I feel extremely lucky. Jes refers to me as her “Eeevil Stepmother” and always has, as a way to differentiate us (i.e., yesterday I got a Happy Eeevil Stepmother’s Day text”!). 🙂
Coming from the other side here- I have step parents and if either of them called me “their” child I would be offended. I’m not their kid, hard stop. Maybe I would feel differently if they were in my life since I was very young (like- VERY young) and they raised me. I obviously known nothing about everyone else’s situation, but I don’t want people thinking it’s always ok with the kids, because it’s not.
No offence but you really need to deal with that. I dont know if your step parents are awful people or if you just havent come to terms with your parents split but when a person goes out of their way to make you really belong like that, its usually a good thing. If I ever get divorce, I would want my partners SO to view, act and speak like my kids mother in my absence. Whether I like it or not, she becomes my surrogate when they are with their dad and I want my children always cocooned in maternal love even when they are not with me. Its so important for biological arents to teach their kids that the step parents are already in a difficult position and how important it is to be receptive and greatful.
Well yeah, your situation is pretty much entirely different than what’s happening here. It would be weird if my step mom referred to me as “her kid” because she married my dad when I was 26. But she refers to my son as her grandchild, and that’s terrific to me. My kid has 3 grandmothers, 2 grandfathers and a Sandie (my FIL’s girlfriend) and has since he was born. They all love him. Future (the little one) is only 2. Russell is there, raising him along with his new sister. To single little Future out as NOT his kid would be so mean to the poor little boy – like, where does he belong ? Why is he not as special and loved as the baby? Ugh.
@Stripe Your situation might be different. You said it yourself, they weren’t in your life when you were younger. As for Little Future he is under the age of five. Also he primarily lives with Russell and Ciara. They are the primary care givers.
It would be looked down upon if Russell was to introduce the kids to people he meets as my daughter and stepson. That kid may feel as if Wilson doesn’t want to claim him. Nothing wrong with saying our children. He not only married Ciara but pretty much her son as well.
I was about 15 when my mom married my now ex step dad. He agreed that it was up to my mom to make decisions about discipline, etc., but I would have been insulted if he tried to distinguish between his bio kids and me.
@cherise no offense but I don’t have to deal with anything. So how about you don’t tell me how to feel? I love both of my step parents but they are not my parents. Period. Sorry if I hit a nerve with you.
We’re talking about a 2 year old here. He sees love- not step-this and half-that.
STRIPE has a right to dhare her take without being invalidated. She never said her truth should be universal so why should she be told to deal with her issues. She said not all stepchildren are okay with step-parents referring to them as their kids and she is absolutely correct.
I’m really shocked that someone would be offended at being referred to as “my child”. I mean so many of my aunts, uncles and family members referred to us as theirs growing up. I was stunned and hurt when I came to the States and the family I lived with introduced me as “adopted”. Even with my biological mum alive, I refered to my US mother as mum too. In fact, in most cultures making that distinction with your step kids is considered downright evil. For me a daughter of the home is a daughter of the home and the words “half” and “step” and “adopted” are derogatory.
I do the same thing @Lenn. People act like blending families is no biggie and all kids adjust fine and stepparents without their own kids are always overstepping. But you have to make your own family in your own home for the kids AND parents to adjust and be comfortable. I’m sick of people jumping all over the stepparents who show affection for their stepkids and GASP treat them as their own.
What else would a good step parent do? If a step singled out ONLY his/her bio kid, people would rant about how mean that was to the step kid. Love is love. A kid cannot have too many good parents who care for them.
It just sounds so wonderful, lovingly inclusive, do people forget they were children once?? How much as a child I would have appreciated love…we are creatures, like ALL, of everything in the animal kingdom; thrive with love, care, thoughtfullness, inclusiveness; considered basic. Nevertheless, the most important ingredients that makes an empathic living being.
What else was he supposed to say? Pretend his stepson doesn’t exist? If he didn’t acknowledge Future Jr. he’d have been accused of being a deadbeat.
Right. If he had said my daughter and my stepson people would have found an issue with that. Why do people just need to find something to gripe about. There’s much worse issues out there.
^^^^This V.
That is EXACTLY what I was going to comment. If he just said our daughter, people would have been up in arms. Nothing wrong with him seeing little Future as a son. Russell seems like a nice guy, I’m sure he love Future Zahir. I see nothing wrong with his.
Huh? Good grief!
Seriously, people are upset because he is being inclusive of Future Jr.? Like seriously?
I mean, even if he is “poking” as you claim (which I don’t see) how else would you want him to write that message?
And if Russell had somehow distinguished the kids in even the slightest way – yours vs ours then that would be another landmine Russell would have stepped in and these same people would be slamming him for not “accepting” Ciara’s child as his own.
The message is fine.
If Future Sr. is spending time with his kid and confident in their relationship he won’t be threatened by it. People need to grow up.
Agreed. I’ve worked with children for many years and I always say you can never have too many moms or dads. Especially at such a young age it’s not diminishing his bio dad. You’re right it’s pretty much a no-win situation for him. So, hopefully they just ignore it and continue to raise clearly happy, bright children.
Opinion: Children will be better off when we spend less time on who ‘owns’ them and more time making sure as many adults as possible nurture and protect them.
(I go with options A and especially C, and that’s a sweet message from him to her. )
Hear hear.
Yup, whatever makes the kids feel welcome, nurtured and loved is the best option.
Couldn’t have said it better.
So… if Russell had said “our daughter Sienna and her son Future” wouldn’t people think that he was not really including the child as part of the family? I don’t take his statement as a slam at his stepson’s father or trying to replace him. It is more like some people on social media being trolls and looking to make trouble.
Image what people would be saying if he had said “our daughter and your son”
I think it’s healthier for step parents to treat step children like their own.
It isn’t healthy when it’s Leann because she’s not well and she uses them like pawns.
Hear hear. My ex-husband’s girlfriend (they have been together 8 years) treats my kids like they are her own and I am so happy she does. She does however respect me as their mother and never tries to “step on my toes” so to speak. It makes me happy that she loves them, the more love for my children the better, as I dont have a lot of family. And unlike Leann and Brandi, we get along and I actually like and respect her. It’s so much better than a step parent that just tolerates the kids.
THIS.
You are an excellent mom.
There is no downside to more people loving and supporting a child.
Its often just uncomfortable to the parent, but thats just sore ego.
I mean the message is fine but their whole thing is messy. These adults act like children when they should’ve been working on a healthy coparenting relationship. The whole suing each other was just not a good look. So while I agree the message was nothing…they’ve been acting like idiots in other ways for the past year or so
I don’t know how much Russell was involved in that, you know? I mean he only knows what Ciara is telling him about her and Future’s relationship. It’s all very messy, but hopefully they can work things out for little Future, who is still very young (and quite an adorable little guy).
Not sure how involved he is at all. I’m mostly aiming this at Future and Ciara. It really made me not like her at all (I’m a fan) and I was never a fan of his so it didn’t endear me at all. I found their press sniping so childish
Future wished Ciara a Happy Mother’s Day so maybe things are better
The messiness has only really persisted from Future’s side. Ciara has been minding her business the last few years, focused on her new man and family and happiness and career. It is Future who can’t stand that she has moved on and found happiness with a man who actually parents his children. This whole controversy is complete nonsense. It is like we are in upside down world.
This doesn’t bother me so much, it’s not a Rimes-Cibrian “bonus mom” situation. If we wanna get technical here, ours doesn’t have to mean “belonging to both of them” – it could mean “the collective of what belongs to each of them”. So Future Jr. and Sienna are “theirs” because they’re the Russell’s kids + Ciara’s kids. Whatevs. He def could’ve meant “our future kids” too.
^^ All of this.
Trolls being trolls on social media again.
People who are looking to start drama where there is none= trolling
Agree with all above. What should he say, “…our daughter and that other guy’s kid?” He did right.
Wow, what? Are people really attacking a dude for being inclusive towards a kid?
What would they rather he do? exclude the child? Refer to him as her child? Make him feel less a part of the family? What the actual F is wrong with people?
Wouldn’t you rather than the child feel fully a part of two loving families, rather than half a part each?
I agree. Just a sweet innocuous Mother’s Day message, loving the two babies at the house.
Some people have too much time on their hands.
I know Leann has us on eyeroll standby but not every step-parent is a try-hard poser.
This was so well put!!
It can also be taken to mean “our kids” in the sense of her kid with her ex and their kid together. Such as in talking with a neighbor, you might say “let’s take our kids to the park” meaning your kid and the neighbor’s kid. But it’s natural for steparents who do spend time with their stepchildren to think of them as part of the whole family.
In either case, I don’t know why anybody even thought twice about it. There are two children involved. Plural. Making distinctions would be very odd, especially since she’s mother to both.
LeAnn was/is a special situation where she was actively trying to erase the bio mother from the picture. She was rude, mean to her and turned mothering into a competition of one upmanship between her and the mother. Thus LeAnn calling her stepsons *her* kids was ergregious. It was always said with intent.
My stepchild calls me Mommy even though she’s 21. My husband had sole custody after the mother returned to her home state when the kid was 12. She’s called me Mommy since the day I married her father of her own volition. So yeah, I refer to her as my kid. If someone has a problem with that, that’s too bad.
No there isn’t anything Leanne Rhimesesque about this. That’s a reach. Ciara is the primary custodial parent so Future lives with her and Russell full time with his dad having a few visitations a month since that’s all he can handle due to his constant touring, drug use and harem shenanigans.
I’m a step parent and my 11 year old step daughter calls me mom and my 7 year old calls my husband daddy and has done so from day one. We don’t make the girls call us this and there’s no distinction in our home, especially with both of their other biological parents being completely out of the picture by their own choice. Folks need to stop being petty and appreciate the fact that this child has loving and supportive parents.
I honestly don’t see what’s wrong with what Russel said. I mean, if he IS raising Future jr. with Ciara and considers him his son.. well, what’s wrong with that?
Are you kidding me? Who are these offended people?
There is nothing wrong with what he said, and I think even raising the story on CB is giving it too much weight.
Eh. It’s called clickbait.
With each passing day I realise what a terrible evil social media is.
A bunch of people who loads of dissatisfaction in life has an easy and almost anonymous way of taking out their frustration on anything that is trending at the moment
Don’t post anything on Social Media except for what you must for professional reason.
Seriously it is more trouble than you need.
“With each passing day I realize what a terrible evil social media is.” For most of my life I have believed communication is vital and I thought the internet was incredible and amazing for bringing the world to everyone’s fingertips. Now? Surprise, surprise, it has become just another tool to harm.
Meh – social media is just the tool – there always has been and always will be garbage people. The internet IS a great, impressive tool that we have as a resource. But as always, idiots will flood in. You can have a brand new coffee shop – it’s going to have a portion of people who are rude and loud and obnoxious visiting it. Basically, you either ignore it, or limit your exposure.
Call me when Russell shows up at little league games in short shorts and a crop top ala Leann
LMAO!!!!!!!
And calls the paps.
Ok people are just petty, I find it sweet when the step parent is so accepting of the step children! If he had said “my kid” would’ve he have gotten crap for that too??
What an absolutely stupid thing to criticize, the poor guy can’t win. Her’s, our’s , mine, just ridiculous.
Future the father himself admitted to not always being around for his kids because they have a “rockstar dad”, Russell is raising lil Future who will look at Russ as more of a father to him anyway.
When Russell married Ciara he got lil Future as well they’re a package deal. he’s going to be in his life forever that’s his step dad, he will probably see more of than his own father considering his father is a “rockstar” and a druggie.
My husband and I refer to all of our children as “our kids”. We both came into the marriage with a child, had another together and are about to have our 4th. Both other parents are still in the picture. But we raise these children together. So I have no problem with Russell saying this. To me it would be weird and petty to differentiate between “his kid” and “‘my kids”
“but Ciara has a son with her ex, Future. Their son’s name is Future Zahir Wilburn and he’s about to turn 2 years old.”
Correction: Zahir It is about to turn 3 years old next week, he’s already 2.
My husband is stepfather to my 2 oldest children. Hes raised them since they were 4 and 1. He rightfully says ‘our’, our children certainly view him as more than ‘step’, whatever that means, and their biological, my ex..can feel however he’d like. 🙂
Also, it was instagram or twitter, what was he supposed to say? Raising our child and your child with future? I don’t like it when step parents take over either, but on the flip, that child is now his child, too.
Seriously, a step-dad including his stepson to celebrate his wife for being a great mom is now considered a bad thing? He would have been read for filth if he only mentioned his daughter, we all know that. Much ado about nothing. That little boy is lucky to have three adults who cherish him.
These petty people don’t realize that responsible people who have step-children refer to them as our children. There is nothing there that usurps the biological parent. Nothing. If you have a step-parent that treats that child as their own it’s exactly what you want because you know they are there to support you in parenting the child. They need to grow up.
This is simple grammar. “Your kids” + “my kids” = “our kids”. If we went to Disneyland with family friends we’d say we (the two families) took our kids to Disneyland. No joint custody implied.
Exactly! yours + mine = ours
I’d think it was shady if he DIDN’T include the step child, because if he didn’t, it’s like he isn’t including her son in their family. This is an entirely appropriate sentiment.
Mountain out of a molehill. I come from a blended family with both parents having positive, respectful relationships with their exes and my mom and step-dad always say “WE have three kids.” I call my step-brothers “my brothers” and they both call me their sister. It’s inclusive and understands that familial ties aren’t solely based on shared DNA.
It was a nice gesture.
All that little boy will know is that he has two dad’s, regardless of how much one is more in his life than the other.
I have a bio son and a stepson. I always refer to them as our kids. That takes nothing at all away from his mom. My son’s stepmom also refers to her kids including my son. Stepkids are still “our” kids. They should feel included, not separate. Including them as “our” makes them feel loved and part of the family unit. As long as all parental relationships are respectful, I do not see the issue. I quite like my stepson’s mom and I respect her role and she respects mine. We both think of him as “ours” and there’s no issue with that. We work together for his best good. He has two inclusive families and we both love him and he is “ours”–all of ours. This is silly. (And yeah, I do see a difference with the way Leeann Rimes does her step-parenting–there is no respect in that situation at all, plus the whole “single white female” thing.)
Oh for pete’s sake. If he is being a father to that child 24/7 and pays for his care, he can call that child “his son.” It doesn’t take away from the birth father. Some people are close to their step parent. Anyone who has a hand in raising a child is considered a parent. Biology has nothing to do with it.
Mmmm ok…
“her son” + “my daughter” = “our kids”, right?
or should he isolate the older kid and say: “you’re a great mother to our daughter, and your son.” no.
People should focus their criticism where it belongs – on his hair.
Matt Damon has been doing this for years and no one bats an eye. He doesn’t differentiate. I don’t get it
Stepmother here. We’re not trying to steal your kids, we just want to love them. You don’t want more love for your kids? Hmmmm