Jessica Alba and Jenna Dewan Tatum have a joint interview with E! Online in which they’re promoting flip flops they designed for Haviaianas, with 100% of the proceeds to go to Baby2Baby, an LA-based charity which supports low income families. E! asked them the go-to question for working moms – how do you balance it all? I wish more dads would get asked this question. Jessica is running her business, The Honest Company, and it’s clear that she’s a very busy person and that she’s thought about these issues quite a bit. Her responses remind me of old school Ivanka Trump, before we knew what a complicit horrible person she was, in that Ivanka used to say she worked 16 hour days and only saw her daughter at bedtime and on the weekends. That was before she had two more kids and became the botoxed face of fascism. As I said back then, that’s her prerogative as it is Jessica’s. Jenna didn’t say much about balancing being a mom and working but I don’t think this affects her as much as Jessica. She’s probably home a lot more. Here’s some of the interview, with more at the source:
“I think feeling like you’re missing moments, like, well first off, you feel bad when you realize they are wearing shoes that hurt them because you’re like, ‘Oh, I didn’t even realize that you’ve been wearing shoes that are too small for you for like 3-4 months, my bad,'” Jessica said. “Some of those milestones or moments, you want to be there for every single one and it’s not realistic when you’re working, but for me, that’s what gets me. Even the everyday little things like picking them up from school are a big deal, so I drop them off at school most mornings and try to get home for bedtime. But the weekends is really when I get to spend the time with them.”
“Yeah, for me it’s always a balancing act and learning and perfecting the balancing act is the toughest part,” Jenna said. “For me, with work, it’s interesting because it will be really, really busy and then I’ll have a little bit of time where it isn’t quite as busy, so you have a little bit of time where balancing that is easier. She’s pretty good now because she understands that now.”
“It’s like a checks and balances kind of thing where you really put in good quality time so you feel a little bit better about working the next day,” she said. “It’s about finding that, and constantly sort of not making yourself feel guilty but trying to work that out for yourself, so that your family gets lots of time and quality time together. It’s a balancing act always.”
Jessica said she thinks “it’s about quality and not quantity.”
“Totally,” Jenna said. “I say that all the time, because getting that good quality time in there assures the time you have to be away working to just feel better for you and for your kid and your family, just making that a priority.”
I often think about this, like what would my life be like if I had to work eight hours a day (at least) in an office, plus have a commute, plus have to run a household. It’s hard enough to work from home and I have the luxury of being able to pick my son up from school and do small things around the house like laundry and dishes. I can’t imagine having to run the house and work a regular job too. Alba has help though, her husband is likely there as well, and it’s not like she has to clean, do laundry or cook meals. This is her choice and it’s not one we would even be considering if she was a dad. It sounds extreme to me but she runs a hugely successful business and that’s not achieved without a lot of time and effort.
photos credit: WENN.com and via Instagram
I hope her husband is at home more. Call me old fashioned but I think kids need to see at least one parent at home more than just weekends.
Old fashioned?
Get back to me when you are a single parent with 3 kids to feed and an ex husband who doesn’t help much.
Agreed.
A recent study showed that that is not necessarily the case. Even if you are not actively spending time with your children, just being in the same house with them is beneficial to their wellbeing. Sucks, ’cause I don’t get a lot of time with my daughter, and when I do she so often just wants to hole up in her room and listen to music and play video games. So I take solace in those findings. Others will likely not, but so often we don’t have a choice.
Hmmm. I heard that on the radio, but I can’t find the study. I do spend time with her – chatting on the phone she needs to hide from my ex because he found out a couple of weeks ago that she was emailing me from her ipod and said “That is grounds for losing your ipod because you know you are not supposed to email anyone without our permission.” And yes, I am seeking 50/50 with her now because he is such a control freak that she and I have to sneak in order to stay in touch. Plus the cutting, and he won’t allow her to see a therapist.
/rant.
I would agree. It’s not like you have to hover and do crafts, but I think it’s nice to have a parent in the house rather than a housekeeper or nanny. I’m betting Jessica Alba is away from her kids more than she’s with them. Hence the quality not quantity.
That photo with the beach umbrella is hilariously airbrushed.
I think it has to be both. Kids learn through observation and proximity, not just interaction. It helps to see mommy and/or daddy or other family doing chores, cooking, talking with other grown-ups, reading, whatever. That’s what shapes your idea of a grown-up life.
If you only see your parent on weekends for high-quality time, then that becomes your idea of a grown-up – prioritizing work then flitting in for high energy fun every once in a while.
“the botoxed face of fascism,”
THANK YOU FOR THIS.
I work part time and I’m riddled with guilt . My kids are older, but still I would prefer to be home when they come home from school . I have to work, otherwise it would be uncomfortable tight, financially . So it’s a catch 202, stay home and be stressed out about money or work part time and be away from home.
Omg AIMS!!! Don’t be riddled with guilt! You’re doing your best and probably succeeding more than you know. The people who should feel guilty are the ones who aren’t trying.
I grew up with a mum who worked very long hours and had extended business trips. I was lonely and desperate to have a mum at home. My friends, all had at least one parent home when they came from school or at the weekend. Her focused energy of ‘quality’ time usually consisting of an hour or two of her undivided attention here and there, made me stressed. I felt I needed to be entertaining and never complain in order to warrant that attention. From my own experience I think kids need a mum or dad who is a constant, everyday part of their day.
I think she can have “quality” time because unlike other working parents on their “off”time, she’s not running to the dry cleaners, doing laundry, emptying the dishwasher and cleaning up the yard. So yes-it’s probably a lot easier to be completely focused on her kids when she’s with them.
She can probably take them to work with her as well… I mean she (partly) owns the company, I’m sure they have child friendly policies or she can work from home.
I guess what’s the point of all the money and power if you can’t use it to be able to do things you can’t buy?
I have been fortunate enough to stay home with my children. Financially, we are not as well off as others who have two working parents, but I would not have traded this time for anything.
I realized when I was 6 months pregnant with my first that it was going to kill me to hand her off to a stranger when she was 6 weeks old. My husband left a job with the DA’s office that he loved to go into private practice because he could make more money and I could stay home.
We have never regretted that decision.
That said, everyone has to make the best choices for their life and their family and their circumstances. I am in absolute awe of single moms and dads who work full-time, take care of their homes, run errands and raise amazing kids.
Those moms and dads deserve medals, awards and 2 weeks paid luxury vacations every year!
I posted above, but I agree with you . When we decided to start our family we decided I was going to stay home with my kids . I just couldn’t have my kids dropped off at a babysitters home watching my kids hit their milestones while I’m somewhere else . I am in no way judging parents who do work outside their homes . If it works for them, then awesome . When the kids were little, we could afford it . It was tight but workable . Now I have high school kids and am able to have more freedom , but I still have guilt over it.
How do you ‘design’ flip flops?
I takes art I tell ya 🙂
Some parents have to work full-time to support their families and it simply isn’t possible to have someone at home all the time. Alba is financially able to delegate her work at Honest. Why she feels the need to be at that office 24/7 when she can easily afford to be at home with her kids is — well, it’s her choice. But for her to act like she has to work to put food on the table is inaccurate. It’s like when Daily Mail comments congratulate Jennifer Garner for being such a hands on mom. She doesn’t HAVE to work a 9-5 job to support the family and their $45 million home is bought and paid for. Getting to be at home with your kids 24/7 is a luxury that few can afford, not a right.
Agree 100%