I remember the Tilly sisters, Meg and Jennifer, in the 80s. I’ve always a thing for Jennifer voice but was captivated, like most people, by Meg in The Big Chill. I think most people know her from Agnes of God but she had many good roles, including Madame de Tourvel in Valmont where she met and fell in love with Colin Firth. Whereas I’ve always liked Meg, I’ve not followed her closely at all. So I didn’t really realize she’d dropped out of Hollywood for several years. But she did and it was to give her kids a “normal life.” Since her youngest left home, Meg is slowly returning to the spotlight, currently playing Brad Pitt’s wife in War Machine.

When actress Meg Tilly was in her early 30s and at the height of her fame, winning accolades for roles in films like The Big Chill, Leaving Normal and Agnes of God, she did something not many other Hollywood stars have done —she completely walked away from it all, to instead raise her three young kids in Canada and give them what she considered “a normal life.”

“I would always take my children with me when I went on movies,” she explains of the bold decision to leave acting. “That worked really well for a few years. But then one year, we went to shoot Leaving Normal and when we came back, my daughter’s best friend was best friends with someone else. She was devastated.”

Tilly says she had a choice to make. “I couldn’t be gone six to nine months from my children’s lives. I had a challenging childhood, so I didn’t feel like I could trust somebody else to raise them. My children didn’t ask to be born. I had a responsibility to be there.”

Now that her three kids (Emily, 32, and David, 30, whom she had with her first husband, producer Tim Zinneman, and Will, 26, whom she had with her partner in the early ’90s, Colin Firth) are grown and out of the house, Tilly has quietly been making a return to the spotlight.

Now that she’s somewhat back in the spotlight, does she wish she’d stayed in Hollywood all along? The answer is no.

“I didn’t allow myself to miss it,” she says of leaving. “In those days, the females was kind of the fire hydrant that all the men wanted to prove themselves on. You’d get hit on a lot. That was challenging, dealing with different egos and having to work with people who still wanted to get the girl. It was hard.”

[From People]

That fire hydrant analogy really upsets me; it’s probably the most accurate I have heard for how women are treated in Hollywood. And I appreciate that Meg is saying it in the past tense but I’ll bet it’s applies today as well. Obviously Meg found fulfillment in writing and was Hollywood adjacent through husbands/partners and her sister in the business. (Coincidently, her current husband is a YA novelist.) Still, I can absolutely see why she made the choice she did after her daughter lost her best friend. I don’t think she’s judging anyone else, either. She didn’t want her kids in the care of someone else because of her experiences growing up but she’s not saying that’s how it should be or what’s right or wrong. Meg said that when her kids left home, everyone told her that, “all the love you were giving them, you can give to yourself and do what you want.” That’s a nice thought, isn’t it? Makes the Empty Nest idea more positive.

Meg also said she is getting a lot of attention from women because she plays an “age-appropriate wife” in War Machine, and she is quick to point out she is actually older than Brad. She had nothing but glowing things about him as a person and coworker. She is also quite fond of Colin Firth. Meg and Colin are parents to Will, but apparently Colin was very much a part of all the kids lives and still is. Meg was the bigger star when they hooked up but she said she always knew he would be huge as an actor and that she and the kids are thrilled for him. When she’s in England she visits him and his wife, Livia, and Colin makes it to all her kids’ graduations and other milestone events. So this reminds me of two things: the first is that Meg has a habit of being lovely about people and co-workers in interviews. It’s so refreshing and likely why she was able to walk back into roles after an 18 year hiatus. Well, that and talent. The second thing I am reminded of is how much I f**king adore Colin Firth. Gawd, can he get any dreamier?

Photo credit: Getty Images and WENN Photos