I wondered if something was up with Patton Oswalt last week. Patton usually takes a summer break from Twitter to focus on his eight-year old daughter Alice while she’s out of school. But this year, he broke that silence to announce his relationship with Meredith Salenger. Since then, he has not gone back into social media hibernation but rather resumed his critique of our current administration, commented on the 10-year anniversary of Ratatouille and tried to assist Donal Logue in his search for his daughter. Then, sandwiched in between all of that, was this tweet:
Yeah, my Summer Twitter break's not happening. 'Cuz I'm hopeful & energized and there's too much good stuff to signal boost.
— Patton Oswalt (@pattonoswalt) June 28, 2017
I assumed it had to do with Meredith, since Patton isn’t optimistic about the president, but I did not realize how big the news was. After just going red carpet and social media official last month, the couple is engaged.
Oswalt, 48, and Salenger, 47, went public with their budding romance last month at the Los Angeles premiere of the movie Baby Driver.
The couple’s happy news comes just 15 months after Oswalt’s wife Michelle McNamara died unexpectedly in her sleep in April 2016, leaving the comedian to care for their 8-year-old daughter, Alice Rigney.
Oswalt has been open and honest about the grief he’s experienced since, but judging by the happy posts on both his and Salenger’s Twitter and Instagram feeds, their relationship seems to have had a very positive impact on them both.
Although they have been dating only a few months, they are not shy about showing their affection for one another in Instagram posts and frequent interactions on Twitter.
A source close to the couple told PEOPLE their romance was “new and they’re very happy.”
Here’s something else I didn’t know, they were introduced by their mutual friend, Martha Plimpton. If she approves this union that’s all I need. Patton has been a widower for a little over a year. As far as we know, this relationship with Meredith is fairly recent. I understand the comments about how quickly this all happened but those timelines don’t factor into it for me. I’m not saying it’s not fast, just that I don’t think we can control when things happen when it comes to matters of the heart. It took me four years of dating exclusively to fall in love with my husband but my cousin is twenty years (happily) married to a woman he wed after only six weeks of meeting. So I am not side-eyeing this sudden development but I get why many others are.
Back to the two lovebirds – there were clues along the way for anyone paying attention:
We are at "Dorky Disney T-shirt Relationship Level", from which no one returns. GREAT CTHULHU WHAT HAVE WE DONE?!? https://t.co/kv1eGX5IV2
— Patton Oswalt (@pattonoswalt) June 18, 2017
Aw, it's like we're already married! https://t.co/pgeF869i88
— Patton Oswalt (@pattonoswalt) July 4, 2017
Ah, those bouquets. Years later they tend to attract rats… https://t.co/kp0cjkL7ac
— Patton Oswalt (@pattonoswalt) July 5, 2017
I’ll admit, when I first read that tweet I thought it was just Patton’s dark humor. I’m mortified how long it took me to put this together with him playing Remy in Ratatouille.
Finally the pair came outright and confirmed it:
I put the ring in a marzipan Slave I replica and said, "Will you be my Padawan of Love?" She maced me but said yes later. https://t.co/9gIr2yxfP5
— Patton Oswalt (@pattonoswalt) July 6, 2017
It's official. I'm the luckiest happiest girl in the universe!!!!💖 I love you @pattonoswalt I love you Alice Oswalt! pic.twitter.com/6V6JnQ0XKJ
— Meredith Salenger (@MeredthSalenger) July 6, 2017
As the article mentions, they have been all over each other on social media since they announced their relationship. I’m not judging, that’s just not my style as you well know. But I was happy to see them so excited. Now that the news has broke, they can’t stop:
I'm marrying THIS nerd. 😜#dontbejealous https://t.co/JXMChzvA6I
— Meredith Salenger (@MeredthSalenger) July 6, 2017
#Nattatouille? Lol 😜 https://t.co/uswNR5SO2W
— Meredith Salenger (@MeredthSalenger) June 18, 2017
And, of course, their friends joined in with equally sloppy sentiments:
Haha that's a big Rock. Tell that prick @pattonoswalt he still owes me 😉🤙🏾. Happy 4 you guys. Congrats! https://t.co/R1j3rmb9qM
— Dwayne Johnson (@TheRock) July 6, 2017
This makes me sooooooooo happy @pattonoswalt https://t.co/kanmzpkHdA
— Clark Gregg (@clarkgregg) July 6, 2017
@MeredthSalenger If you need a ring bearer, I take the cake. CONGRATS to two of the best! pic.twitter.com/9yojnccEAq
— Carvel Ice Cream (@CarvelIceCream) July 6, 2017
"Friends of the Force to the right side please. Friends of the Empire on the left."
— Chris Hardwick (@hardwick) July 6, 2017
Congratulations @pattonoswalt & @MeredthSalenger-2 of my favorite people… Now under one roof! #SWNerdJoinsForcesWithPadawanOfLoveAtLast! https://t.co/jyH2DyBgbH
— Mark Hamill (@HamillHimself) July 6, 2017
Maybe they got caught up in the flush of new love and rushed things but I hope not. I hope this is a whirlwind romance that happened at the right time. They’re giddy when so few are these days so good for them. Congrats to the couple and Alice on their big news.
Photo credit: Instagram, Twitter and WENN Photos
It seems a bit fast but the little girl is happy and Patton seems like a responsible parent, so whatever works for them.
Does the length of the engagement count? If they take a year or more to hold the ceremony, would that time make the relationship more acceptable? My husband and I were engaged after 4 months dating, but we had a 15 month engagement period (Not widow/widower, tho)
Engaged after two months over here, now 3+ years engaged. We’re probably going to get married at the 5 year mark. Works for some couples!
My parents were engaged after a month and married two months after their first date.
Next year it will be 50 years that they’ve been married.
I think it’s not the same when you’re going into it with no previoua marriage or significant relationship roght before or when you do this as a widow/er. It’s completely different because you don’t have someone you were supposed to love “till death do us part” a year or two earlier.
men nearly always move on quicker than women in these situations, they seem to have a very hard time being alone after being with someone for so long. it’s way too quickly for my liking, but as long as his daughter is monitored for how she’s handling it, then okay.
My mother noticed that when she went to a bereavement group after my father died unexpectedly. Most of the women were taking things slowly and trying to figure out what to do next and what their new identity was – especially those who had been stay at home moms. Meanwhile, the majority of the men, while grieving, were looking for some one to date quickly. Now that’s one person’s experience, and it may be generational too – since, as my mother put it after one widower asked her out “I realized he was only looking for someone new to boil him an egg!” All things in their own time would be her advice…
I took a Gender Psychology class and it is a thing. Definitely paraphrasing here, but men typically marry again quite quickly after being widowed as being married is more beneficial for men. They have someone who takes care of them, tells them to go to the doctor, someone who asks them about their day, etc. Being married is not as beneficial for women.
This is true but what is also true is that these new marriages rarely thrive. The man goes in with rigid expectations of what a wife should be and almost always selects a woman who reminds of him of the deceased. He knows the recipe that made HIM happy the first time around, its very fresh in his mind and consciously or subconsciously, he will try to replicate it. As the initial excitement wanes, the wife gradually develops resentment over being expected to fit into the mould created by the first. I have seen this a few times, including in my own family.
Many widowers do this but lets be clear that its unwise. Just because lots of men do it does not mean we shouldnt be urging them to be more circumspect. I think its too soon.
I also have to wonder how effective was the recipe he and his wife had. She was afterall found with the cocktail of prescription drugs in her system which are commonly associated with drug abuse. I cant say for sure but I highly suspect that marriage was not as fulfilling for her as he would like us to think.
It’s because most men over overgrown babies and need to be mommied and coddled constantly. Otherwise, they’d have to start cooking and cleaning up after themselves.
I remember reading once that the happier a marriage, the faster the widower tends to remarry. I bet my husband would remarry within two years if he could find someone who enjoys our three wild children.
i can just speak after breaking up from a 3-4 year realationship… i just started dating…meanwhile my ex had single on his status and mingling i heard with 2 months… soo mean move quick …i have no sideeye here
“I also have to wonder how effective was the recipe he and his wife had. She was afterall found with the cocktail of prescription drugs in her system which are commonly associated with drug abuse. I cant say for sure but I highly suspect that marriage was not as fulfilling for her as he would like us to think.”
That is incredibly judgmental and heartless.
@Franny Days Oh yeah I agree with your assessment! My manager became a widow after many years of supporting her husband (financially and emotionally. The man died a slow death because he refused dialysis).
Toward the end she was simply exhausted. When he passed on she told me she would never marry again. Been there done that and she wants to spend more time on herself.
I think it make sense to move fast for them considering how unexpected his wife died. I guess they were like: Fuck it, life is short, let’s not miss out on happy times. By which I am not implying that one can’t be happy single and/or unmarried, but if marriage is what one wants …
@sendepause
I was just thinking the same thing. Losing a loved one so suddenly and unexpectedly definitely changes one’s view on how short life can be (and how precious it is). I can understand him not wanting to “waste” time. I wish them all the best!
Yes, it really is a thing, and with a few women, too. My brother died suddenly at age 37. His widow’s new boyfriend moved in to the family home six weeks later, despite her young sons (12 and 13) not being happy about it. They had a child before the first anniversary of my brother’s death. She thought he was the “cool, bad boy muso”, when in fact, he was a sponging, abusive, cheating oaf. It lasted four years, which was all the time it took for them to squander the nearly $4 million my brother left his family – the boys ended up wth nothing.
That said, PO and MS seem like good people, so congrats to them. It happens when it happens.
My mom was married for 32 years when my dad passed away. It was really hard for her to adjust to bring single, after so much time in a relationship. She lost the sparkle in her eyes, then when I came to visit one day, it was back. This was about a year and a half after Dad’s passing. I wondered what had done that, then she mentioned something about her neighbor. They started doing things together, then dating, now married. Some people just enjoy being in that relationship. I can’t imagine after 32 years being alone.
Women are easily judged too when they take a new lover after a death of a spouse. When remember when I was young, relatives would tell my Aunt who has been a widow for more than a year to wait for at least a few more years before marrying her fiance. Like there were some grieving period rules to follow. Not a good look they say.
Boy can I relate to this story!! My mother passed away after a long battle with cancer in 2015. We l knew it was coming , but it was still painful . My step dad , who was such an amazing caregiver to my mom started dating 4 months after her death. I thought it was good, because the thought of him alone in the home they shares was sad to me, also for the last year of Mom’s life she was very much home bound , and not much of a partner for him. And I thought that was also pretty lonely as well. So he had my blessing . I thought he’s getting back out there, nothing serious , just testing the waters. I was so wrong in that theory. He met this woman on match.com, and it immediately became serious . Six months after mom’s death , he really wanted me to meet her. I wasn’t ready yet. So I kept making excuses . He and I go out to breakfast , and he informed me that he’s engaged to this women , a little less than a year of mom’s one year anniversary of her death. I’m shocked . I tell my husband that it seems a little fast, keep I mind, I still haven’t met her yet . My mom’s best friend is furious that he’s moved on so quickly . They’re planning on a September wedding , in a couple of months , and I still haven’t met her yet.
My mom was the love of his life. They had a strong 20 year marriage. I think this current situation is more like a companionship thing. But never would I have guessed that I would be in this situation . My kids, who love my step dad (they call him papa) still won’t visit him. To be perfectly honest , I’m really on the fence about the woman myself . It’s an odd place to be in…..
That’s what happened to my friend’s sister. Her sister had terminal cancer. A little under 6 months, her bil starting seeing another woman. They married about a year afterwards. My friend’s mother was furious since bil and the new bride were now living in the house that she (the mother) financed (another long drawn out story).
My mother always said to me a man can’t live without a woman but a woman can live without a man. I guess that’s true.
So happy for him…
it feels rushed, but on the other hand it is probably good for Alice to see her father happy.
Just because people are moving on, it does not mean they have forgotten the past.
I struggled with this one when I read about it last night. To ME it is too fast. But I’m not Patton. I’m not a guy who lost his wife who he clearly adored, and has a little girl at home who is missing her mother dearly.
I told my husband last night that if he did this sort of thing I’d have to come back and haunt him – though I was mainly kidding. You want your spouse to be happy. I think the main issue isn’t just that it’s fast. It’s the fact that his wife died like a year ago… and he already is proposing to someone else. Dating would make sense, but I don’t understand how you can go from being completely committed to someone, them dying suddenly (it’s not like he had seen her through an illness and known it was going to happen) and manage to be committed enough to another woman to propose to her in that time frame. It kind of leads people to wonder if something was going on with this other woman beforehand. And I’m not saying it is what happened – but it does open up that kind of suspicion.
I’m hoping it was a case of this being a long time friend, or whatever (and it seemed to be), and they kind of found each other in the grief. Ultimately – as long as Alice is happy, that’s the best thing. I know that it isn’t a case of a girl NEEDING her mother or a boy NEEDING his dad… but when you’re used to having that kind of figure in your life – especially when you’re that young – I can only imagine that it’s incredibly comforting to have someone else who’s willing to kind of move into a modified version of that role.
And honestly, the man grieved HARD. I remember reading his write up about the grief he was facing and sobbing while reading it. It was the most beautiful, heartbreaking, emotionally raw thing I’d read in a long time. And when I think about my husband being in that sort of situation – I’d absolutely want someone to come into his life and take him out of that kind of misery. I’d want him to find something that brought him joy – and if it meant moving on – even quickly, that’s fine. I’d just want to be sure that if I had left behind children that the person coming into their life was 100% on board with being there for them – not just their dad.
Tbh, I can easily admit it’s totally selfish, but I already said to my husband-if I die, you better be sure to never remarry, bc I will haunt you so hard you’ll regret it. If he must, he can date. He can have a long, successful relationship.
But I don’t want my son to see his father with a new wife or for our property to be divided with someone else. I’ve seen to many horror stories about inheritance develop that way: my best friend is actually a granddaughter of one of our most prominent philosopher, politicial prisoner and intellectual-and her mother lost ALL, even her father’s love letters to his first wife (and her mother) bc he married his caretaker just before death (he was feeling lonely, the daighter encouraged him to marry her). The death was sudden, there was no will, and she had sharks-lawyers waiting in the wings.
Otoh, I married my husband bc he’s the love of my life, and I’m his. I don’t believe in having two or ten of them, I believe in having one-that’s why we’re married, otherwise we’d just live together and raise a child together. To me, that’s the difference between marriage and everything else(to me! That’s my personal belief), and to marry someone else would seriously screw that belief.
My husband and I have openly talked about this a couple of times-jokingly and seriously. We are planners (honestly, little obsessive planners-we like to know everything that is going to happen, we save big chunks of our salaries, we have huge life insurance policies…we PLAN for everything). We have seen his mother basically grieve since he was twelve, and become bitter and lonely because of the death of his father, and have agreed that if either of us dies, we will give ourselves a year to grieve, and then we will make an effort to get back out there and find someone. We adore each other, and make each other incredibly happy-and would never want the other want to end up spending the rest of our life bitter, old, and alone because we just never could get past the grief.
“I don’t understand how you can go from being completely committed to someone, them dying suddenly… and manage to be committed enough to another woman to propose to her in that time frame.”
Perhaps when a loved one dies suddenly, you realize how precious life is and that every moment counts? Maybe the tragedy has motivated him to not sit back and watch life pass, but to get out there and seize the day and the love?
I have nothing againat long, stable relationship. I have nothing against living together. In due time, and without the marriage. I think people can be happy without the ring on their finger.
I read this just now and thought it mad a great point:
“Unlike most, those who have been widowed are hyper aware that everyone they see will someday die. We know intimately that the price of love is pain. So if you see a widow or widower overcome that knowledge and choose to open their heart to that pain once again, instead of judging, you should be celebrating their bravery and fortitude.”
https://ericaroman.me/2017/07/07/a-widows-rage-defense-of-patton-oswalts-engagement/
@geekychick: I don’t think you can know until you’ve been there though. My parents were childhood sweethearts (met at 6, started dating at 15, married at 20). They lived together and worked together daily until my dad’s diagnosis with cancer in his mid-fifties. And my parents were crazy in love, in a way that I think very few people are lucky enough to experience. When my dad was told that his cancer had progressed, and he was terminal, he made sure to tell my siblings and me (as well as my mom), that he wanted my mother to be happy, and that when she started dating, we needed to support that because the last thing he wanted was for her to spend the next thirty years pining after him.
When my dad told my mom that, and immediately after his death, she swore up and down she’d never date or get married again, that he was her one true love, and that nothing else would ever hold a candle to it. Since then though (we just passed the 18 month mark), she’s mellowed a bit. She’s not ready to start dating, and we’ve discussed that it’ll be different because every love is different, but I think ultimately she’ll end up marrying again. She’s just the marrying kind.
TBH, I really don’t think anyone knows what they’ll do until they’re in the situation, but I’d like to think that part of loving someone is wanting them to be happy and fulfilled even if it isn’t with you.
I admit I was surprised by how fast things seemed to move from “We’re an item” to “We’re engaged,” but if they’re happy and if his daughter is happy, then good for them.
You missed the best one, tho:
https://www.instagram.com/p/BWNc8k3jjGN/
😀
Seems fast but as others said men move on quicker. Plus I never judge people on how they process and grieve. Timeline is different for everyone
Yeah, I know it’s not our business to speculate, but given that this IS a celebrity gossip site and judging comes with the territory, I think it’s too fast for him to be engaged to a woman he’s been dating for just two months, especially when there’s a young child in the picture. Patton’s been open about his struggles with depression, and given Meredith’s very striking resemblance to his late wife, I wonder whether Patton simply has a type, or whether he’s just trying to fill a void in his life to avoid having to process his grief. I’m sure I’m going to get a lot of flak for saying this, but.
That being said, I love Patton, and I just hope that he’s making the right decision. For his own sake, for his daughter’s, and for Meredith’s. The guy’s been through a lot.
Ditto. I can’t help but wonder what his daughter feels about daddy moving on so fast.
He JUST took his wedding ring off on April. Going from that to engaged by July seems way way to fast to me.
I honestly thought that outlets were, insensitively, using an old photo of him and his late wife when I saw this yesterday before I realised it was his new fiancee. They do look very similar.
I agree!
It reminds me of when Paul McCartney married Heather Mills after Linda McCartney died – it wasn’t as fast, but Heather looked just like her. And that turned out so well…
YES! They look SO much alike it’s…a bit disconcerting.
Yet I love him so much that I can’t help but feel happy for him. I hope he doesn’t get hurt, though…
I’d like to see him focusing on his YOUNG daughter, too. What’s wrong with just dating and being happy and focusing on Alice after such a huge loss? Not saying they’re NOT doing that, but seems like they’re skipping to happily ever after before things can be processed. Best of luck regardless.
I agree. What’s so wrong with a long, stable relationship and cohAbitation? How will his daughter process this in regards to her mother’s place and importance in her father’s life? will she get the feeling that all of the loved ones in life are easily replacable or is it easy to properly convey the true meaning of this to an 8year old? And what is the true meaning?
I’m not trolling, I’m just thinking out loud about all of this.
Yeah, like, you can be in a committed relationship and have your gf be a part of your child’s life (a child who’s still likely adjusting to life without mom) without needing to push right into marriage right away. It’s a huge change. A lot of commenters on other sites were saying that if they were in such a situation, they’d wait more than two months before simply *introducing* the bf/gf to the child, never mind getting engaged.
There just seems to be a lot to unpack here. I suspect that Patton doesn’t want to be alone, but that’s not necessarily a healthy thing. And sure, when you’re middle-aged you can skip a lot of the b.s. of younger relationships because you know what you want, but how do you know whether someone you’ve been dating for two months meets those criteria? Especially when there’s a child involved.
Patton’s been so open about his grief and speaking about how devastated Michelle’s death left him, so it makes sense for him to want to cling to someone who makes him happy. But when you’re emotionally vulnerable, sometimes you hastily rush into a relationship without really knowing whether it’s a good fit for the long run. I don’t doubt that he truly cares about Meredith, but the timeline of this relationship and engagement seems as though he’s just trying to reach for something familiar without really seeing whether it’s good for him and his daughter.
Maybe I’m totally off and they’re the exception, but there do seem to be some small pink, if not red flags here.
Thank you! I honestly think this woman looks exactly like his previous wife. I think it’s too fast and a little insulting to be so extra about it. Seeing as she hasn’t even been dead that long.
Fast but I hope she’s a good stepmother to the little girl.
She looks just like his late wife… creepy
It does seem
Fast, but they are both in their late 40s, old enough to know what they want and what they need. It’s happy news. I’m happy that little girl is getting a mama, and it’s great that Patton is attracted to smarties. Meredith seems like the same type as his late wife. She even looks a bit like her.
K. MTE. I don’t know them or much about them, but this doesn’t really seem suspicious. You can become close friends with someone very quickly, and with a young child involved I can see how marriage/traditional lifestyle seems like the best option.
I wish them all the best. We were just talking about this at work, the fact that male widowers tend to remarry quickly. It also seems that when people have had a good experience with marriage, they want to give it another try.
When it strikes, it strikes. My husband and I were dating for only 5 weeks before we moved in together(I broke the bank by breaking my 1 month renewed lease), engaged within 5 months and a kindergartner in training later, still in the honeymoon phase. I come from one of those big-ish families where a lot of people die in untimely fashions. I’ve lost my childhood best friend when we were 18, cousins who were my peers and true friends, aunts, uncles, all grandparents, etc, etc. so death and grief for me, are not something to wallow in. The living need to live.
Not unusual among widowers of his age to move quickly and I really do wish them every happiness…but I also really hope for a nice long engagement. Take a breath, it is 2017, you can enjoy the companionship and love without the pressures of marriage.
i’m just so excited to see natty gann!
omg, me too.
As others have pointed out, I’m not surprised that Patton moved on so quickly. A lot of men can’t really handle being alone.
But, this does seem too quick when a child is involved.
My dad did this too. My mother died very unexpectedly when I was 16. My parents had been married 26 years and had 4 daughters (my twin sister and I being the youngest). And then my dad dropped the bomb on us 9 months after her death that he was going on a date. We struggled with it because it felt so soon. All of our relatives made me and my sisters feel so crappy because they were all “your dad needs to be happy…” and kind of threw us all under the bus as if her death was only affecting our dad and no one else. Well, he rushed things for sure and ended up engaged to the woman after only 3 months of dating. I think my dad was just so desperate for things to feel “normal” again. Of course, that marriage lasted only 6 months. Let me tell you how shocked my sisters and I were….
Exactly. Someone upthread posted how good that the daighter got a new mom.
I think it’s totally wrong to push someone in a mother role to a 8-year old child that lost her mom. People and parents are not so easily replacable, and shouldn’t be.
I think I have mentioned this before. Sorry to be tedious. My parents knew each other two months before they were married in 1948. Over their graves it says “Married 62 years. Together Forever.” It was the only marriage for each, but sometimes when you know, you know.
I get that too. My own parents got engaged after 3 months of dating and have been happily married for 52 years. But they weren’t newly widowed with a young child. I think that’s the only thing that gives me pause.
Yes I posted a similar story about my parents up-thread.
I just want Patton to be happy. I wish him, Meredith and his kid all the best. No will get over grief, there will always be that feeling of emptiness following you around after a death of a loved one. Why not move on to your next chapter in life?
Yeah patton seems real miserable and grief stricken… ahem…
So what is the preferred timetable for this sort of thing? It’s been over a year, is he expected to be a depressed invalid for the rest of his life?
You don’t get to decide what someone’s timetable for grieving is.
Just hope they do the right thing for the little girl’s sake.
Dream a Little Dream!
Widowers do this. My anecdote has to do with friend of mine. His wife died after a lengthy illness and she left him with a few young children. I was going through some stuff as well so we were both talking a lot while she was ill and after. There were a few times I felt like he was auditioning me for a possible fill in but I felt that idea was gross so I would dismiss it. He then started talking to a woman he knew from way back when who also had some young children and they got married very quickly. She looked like his wife too. To each their own.
Men who have been married for a long time and widowed sometimes have a very hard time being alone. I know a guy who absolutely adored his wife. Lived for her, were best friends, clearly just the apple of his eye. She ended up passing away from cancer and he was crushed. I remember we had grabbed some tea and he told me that he used to drink tea with his wife every day after work. They’d sit in their chairs and just talk.
He married his neighbor about a year later. Maybe a little over. It was quick. She was there at the wake for his wife. They clicked. And they were also both older and figured why waste time? They knew they loved each other and they are happy. So while this seems quick, I wish them nothing but the best.
My father got married the year after my mother died.The marriage lasted 10 years.
My mom died 3 years ago, and my dad began dating a woman about w year ago and now they’re moving in together. I’m 27, and don’t live at home, but it still bothers me. I know he loved my mom, they were married 36 years. But, it feels like too much too soon. If they’re happy good for them, I just hope that she is more respectful of his late wife’s memory than my dad’s girlfriend is of my mom’s.
I’m happy for them, and happy for his daughter. That said-I hope he’s being checked out by a doctor because he does not look well at all. His skin coloring is “off.”
Wow very fast. Too fast really but its his life…I honestly wonder why she even said yes? Does she not question how soon it is???
As far as I know, she’s never been married, so maybe she just wants to settle down? That’s not necessarily a super healthy mentality to have, though. I dunno, I’m skeptical of this arrangement, and I’m glad that a lot of other commenters are questioning this here, too. Anyone who was suspicious of this on a lot of other sites last night was quickly shot down with “f*** off and let them enjoy their happiness!” comments.
If I were dating a guy whose wife (to whom I looked eerily similar) had just died a year ago, I’d certainly have reservations about saying yes to marriage.
yeah, he can’t be healed yet no way. Think for me I at least do a 2 year engagement.
I admit this surprised me. Wish them the best.
My friend started dating a guy about 4 months after his wife died of a heart attack. Right off the bat they started talking marriage. Everyone in her life was like HOLD on hon! Fortunately she listened to reason. They waited about a year before the ring and waited another year before the wedding. Because she listened everyone is happy for her and not worried. I hope they do the same–have a LONG engagement. They are obviously caught up in the first months headiness when you first fall in love — but if its real it will last and they need to give it time.
Yes, I hope for everyone’s sakes they enjoy their engagement and don’t rush into marriage. Take a year to enjoy the wedding planning!
As an only-child daughter who lost her mother, also suddenly and unexpectedly, at about the same age as Patton’s daughter, AND had my dad remarry, multiple times, but the first quite quickly, I take this somewhat personally. I don’t even know if I started really grieving for my mom until after the first year because the nature of it is that the man gets so much help — and the kid so much sympathy attention — the first year from family, friends, etc, and then the rest of the time dad is trying to make their time with their daughter special and meaningful … So, yeah, it doesn’t really hit you right away. My dad was remarrying right when I was starting to really get, emotionally, how much I’d lost. That my mom was never, ever coming back and that my dad could just replace her and all that attention and mutual grieving I’d been getting? Done. Not great days for me.
She also physically looks a lot like Patton’s deceased wife, which is probably both comforting, and confusing, for both of them.
Now, Patton isn’t my dad, Alice isn’t me and Meredith isn’t any of my crappy step-moms but, yeah, this feels too fast. If it was just him? I’d be very happy. The Alice factor makes me a little queasy, though I haven’t seen mention of Meredith already having any children, which should help. All my dad’s new wives brought with them multiple step-siblings which was another complication and I was always not only out-numbered, but also the only one without another parent to run to for comfort.
I sincerely hope for the best for all of them and have no doubt it’s all genuine and being entered into with the best of attentions … I just can’t totally qualm my niggling doubts, which I fully admit could be my own stuff clouding my vision.
My best friends mother died and her father started dating just a few months after. Her parents had been married for over 30 years. My takeaway is that women shouldn’t overinvest in relationships/marriages with men. You will be easily replaced after you’re dead. I find that kind of creepy,
You are right. A great reminder not to over-invest in relationships.
Same exact thing happened with my best friend’s parents, including length of marriage, except her dad remarried after less than 6 months. He married a friend of his who was a nurse, which I found kind of interesting since his wife had battled breast cancer on and off for more than 10 years. My best friend was livid at the time. I told her that I completely understood why she was upset but men who have been happily married a long time do not do well on their own. And he really was alone because she and I were in college and her other siblings were married and lived in other states.
Women, truth be told probably fare better if they never marry. Think the pull of the baby, social rules & conditioning is more powerful than our own happiness sometimes.
I don’t know how marriage is cause of any of those issues, it’s called life and you can’t avoid it. Other types of relationships have the same issues and if you avoid all relationships you miss out on that so doing all things are risky. And women can replace men the same way.
Wow I haven’t heard about Salenger since I was a kid. She was going to be the next big thing due to her role in The Journey of Natty Gann (?) and then maybe one other role and after that, nothing.
I’ve known several friends widowed fairly young. Both remarried within 2 years and both are still happily married (after 15 plus years.) I wish them the best.
My husbands grandpa was married to his wife for 57 years before she passed. 6 months later he started speaking to an old student of his (he was 78 and she was 62). She had looked him up for a 50 year reunion to give him the best teacher prize. Her husband had recently passed from a similar illness, and all of a sudden you saw her photos in the living room where photos of his wife used to be. A handful of the grandkids were kind to her, and happy that he got a new lease on life, but the others couldn’t bare to be around her. They were still grieving, and wanted to speak about memories of their grandma. I do agree that men tend to move on quicker after a spouse has passed or divorce. They seem get used to companionship, and having someone do the little things. I hope it works out for these two!
I’m happy for them, and hope it all goes well, especially for the daughter, who has been through a lot in a short amount of time.
It is quick, but I hope they have a lengthy engagement and make sure it’s all good before all the legal stuff involved in a marriage.
Okay, I love that baby girl Alice is included in the post and that she (the daughter) looks so happy. Because you know it’s had to be hell losing her mama. That warms my heart.
So disrespectful to his poor wife. What on earth is the big rush? Alice already lost her mother you would think he’d take choosing a stepmother more serious than marrying someone after a ‘few months” …
I wonder how Michelle’s family feel about this.
It’s jyst strange how you can be with somebody for 13/14 years; they die tragically young and get over them within a year. I’m not judging him for dating already its the marriage and public gushing that makes it all so tawdry.
Anyway.. alice is cute i hope it works out but to me it seems like Meredith is a bit desperate. Woman in her 40s, no kids.. finds a ready made family.. i mean… what woman in her right mind marries a dude whose wife died a year before?
So judgmental and mean spirited. You don’t know him; none of us do. So I don’t think it fair to presume he’s over his wife. How is it disrespectful to his wife? What an old-fashioned view of life and death. Should he wear black and mourn for 366 days? Good lord. Life is short and if he found someone to make him happy, who cares? As many have stated here, men tend to remarry quickly for a variety of reasons. I highly doubt he will ever be over his wife. By all accounts, he’s a wonderful father and part of it, if Meredith gets along very well with Alice, may be that he would like her to grow up with a mother figure. The girl is 8 or 9, so the teen years will be hard without her mom. If his family is happy, who are we to judge?
No just keeping it real.. there is enough gushing for them. I just think it is ridiculously fast and he isn’t giving due consideration to the fallout for his daughter if it doesn’t work out. They’re not 70 yrs old.. they have time to wait for a while. The social medua crap is an added reason to gag. Doubt michelle wants her kid all over meredith’s social media
Ah yes, the arbiter of when someone has grieved enough. It’s not your call. And a spouse dying is not something you EVER get over. No matter how happy you become and no matter who else enters into your life. As a widow who is remarried (three years after), I pretty much get this. I will NEVER be over Brian’s passing. And that’s OK. My second husband, Paul gets it too.
It seems fast for me but he was under immeasurable grief so I understand the emptiness being filled by someone. For his daughter’s sake I hope they take the engagement nice and slow. This can be a hugely happy new beginning for everyone but only if they’re able to understand the child’s greieving process and don’t overwhelm her.
I know every relationship is different, people grieve differently, some move faster than others, there’s people that got married after a few months of dating and are still together 10+ years later, etc etc etc, but for me PERSONALLY… if my husband of almost 10 years starts dating another woman less than a year after I’ve passed and then gets engaged to her… I’m gonna be salty as hell and haunt his ass. 🤷🏻♀️👻
I was surprised how fast this was too. It feels like we just heard about them starting to date.
however it’s not really clear exactly how long they have been dating. Even though we heard about it first in I think April, that doesn’t mean they haven’t been seeing each other for longer than that on the quiet.
Meredith seems to have a good head on her shoulders. And to answer someone above, she’s never been married & has no kids.
Too fast, too infatuated, too much of a fantasy.
Red flags all around.
The only people who really know what’s going on in a marriage are the two people in it. It’s pointless to assume anything if you’re outside. The couple’s children, parents, siblings, close friends may think they know, but do they really? No one in my inner circle knew about the emotional abuse I endured from my husband for years. How frightened I was of him. When I left him, some of the people we knew were so angry at me. In reality I spent many lonely, unhappy years trying to “hang in there” to please my family and my husband. Who are we to say that Patton has moved on too fast? We don’t know anything about his first marriage.
This is common for men to do after a death of a spouse, why do men especially not want to think through things? Aren’t they supposed to be the “logical” ones in stereotypes? Maybe it because we don’t know what happens in marriage before someone passes? Men deal with grief by replacing rather than dealing with it? Rushed engagements always feel like to me people that had rather risk whatever than to be alone. Which is strange to me but some people just simply can’t be alone.
Well logical thing is to find a relationship and emotional one is to grieve.
I think getting engaged after 2 months is a bad idea (with the exception of 1/100 couples that makes it work). Even if you don’t take his loss into account.
I think it is interesting how people think nothing of a relationship that starts when a couple separates or divorces occurring shortly after the separation/divorce, but a death makes the rules completely different? I commend P for how he worked through his grief in a public forum. My sister was married for 17 years when her husband dropped dead from an undiagnosed aneurism. She was 40 and had three kids still at home. Six months after her husband’s death, a colleague asked her out. She felt it was “too soon” (because our mother told her so) and put him off. He said he’d ask again after a year had passed. He did, she said yes, they got married 6 months later and it’s lasted 6 years so far. All our family felt she was rushing it, but nobody thought that about my brother who opened an online dating account while waiting for his divorce to be finalized and is now twice-divorced.
Jenz, I like your comment. I also try never to put rules or timelines on relationships. In my 64 years, I have seen just about everything in terms of couples.
I’m givong him a side-eye because of his child. Read the comments upthread-from people who had their fathers remarry quickly mafter mothers death and just one has a positive experience. Most of them feel it was selfish and interrupted their grieving process.
And no, divorce and death of a spouse are not the same thing.presumably, divorce is reasult of one partner being unhappy/not loving the other-death of a spouse is completely different, bc it was no one’s decision to put an end to that marriage.
I give it slight eye because it does seem awfully soon, but not too much. I mean, if I were here, I think I’d be concerned and like, “are you, um, SURE about this?” But I’m not her, and they’re two grown people who seem like they deserve to be happy, so *shrug*
Honestly, I think relationships moving fast at their age makes more sense than in young people. At that point, you know exactly who you are and what you want, and you don’t need to cut through all the bullshit to get there. I’m happy for them and his daughter.
The timing is weird but who knows. I hope it works out and I hope she’ll be kind and loving to the little girl. I’m wary of stepmothers because mine’s a monster.
Out of respect to the deceased partner’s family I think widows/widowers should wait a year. He did that. When someone dies the whole family grieves but it’s usually the spouse who gets all the attention. That’s understandable but it can be hard when that person finds someone new and replaces the loved ones role in his/her dynamic. For the family, that role is never filled again. Whether it’s too fast to get married, I don’t know. Maybe. But he waited a year, showed her family respect, took care of his daughter and hopefully got counselling. Best of luck to them.
If they both are happy and the kids are happy, then good for them.
I think this relationship will last but what a heavy burden to take on. Being a step mom to a child who just lost her mother – being without your mother for a year is not a long time so yeah it really JUST Happened. Good luck to the child and Meredith.
She was in Dream a Little Dream, she has my full endorsement!