SPOILERS for Game of Thrones Episode 7.1: “Dragonstone.”

Game of Thrones is back, but not for long. Which is why I felt like the show spent too much time catching up on the storylines that many people don’t really care about? While it was interesting that Sam Tarly’s path intersected with Jorah Mormont, couldn’t those scenes have been cut down quite a bit? Granted, I’m starting to believe that Sam will play a significant role in the wars to come, but still. Sam is one of the least interesting characters. So, here’s our first recap of 2017! DRAGONS! JORAH! Littlefinger!

The North Remembers. Of all the taglines/sayings of the show (“Winter is coming,” “A Lannister always pays his debts,” etc) I think I love “The North Remembers” most of all. The “cold open” of this episode was ancient old Walder Frey gathering all of the Freys to the retaken castle, and ordering a toast. Of course, Arya killed Walder Frey last season. She’s stolen his face and she’s concocted a plot to kill all of the male Freys. It works. The wine is poisoned. She tells one of the Frey daughters, “the North remembers.”

Bran & Meera finally make it to the Wall. Edd, the new Lord Commander, is like “who dis?” Meera calmly explains who they are and Edd isn’t sure what to believe. Bran – who just had a vision of the Night King and the White Walker army marching south – tells Edd that he (Edd) was at Hardhome and he knows what’s coming and Edd’s like “oh sh-t, yeah, okay.” So, finally, Bran and Meera get somewhere safe. Hopefully a reunion with Jon in the next episode?

Euron Greyjoy’s two hands. God, I hate Cersei. She’s an idiot and she’s just having her floor-map painted, which is like rearranging the deck chairs on the Titanic. She and Jamie chat about their enemies and blah, blah, blah. She has a plan, which is revealed to be a marriage/alliance to Euron Greyjoy and his new armada (which seemed to get built overnight). Euron saunters into King’s Landing like an insouciant, leather-clad rock star and proceeds to woo Cersei. His best come on? A knowing glance and a statement of fact: “I have two hands.” The look on one-handed Jamie Lannister’s face, OMG! I laughed so hard. Cersei refused Euron’s offer of marriage, but he promised to come back with a gift. I hope it’s not Tyrion.

Ed Bloody Sheeran. After the slaughter of the Freys, Arya is on a horse, traveling to the South, as we soon learn. Perhaps she has not heard that Jon Snow has retaken Winterfell, perhaps she does not care. She hears someone singing and for a brief, shining moment, I thought she was about to encounter GENDRY. But no. It was Ed Sheeran and a band of Kingsguards on their way to the Riverlands (?) to check out the damage Arya left in her wake. They are nice to Arya – they offer her food and wine and they have a chat. She sits next to Ed Bloody Sheeran. This completely took me out of the show, I’m sorry. Also, she tells them her plan: she’s going to Kings Landing to kill Queen Cersei.

Sam Tarly and the Citadel. Like all Sam scenes, this went on too long, especially all the stuff about the food and the poop. Long story short: he ends up stealing some books and figuring out where there’s a mountain of dragonglass. He also encounters Jorah Mormont, who seems to be overtaken with greyscale.

Sansa & Jon Snow. Jon and Sansa bicker in front of the assembled lords and ladies of the North. Jon tells them that they have to prepare for war, men and women, boys and girls. Jon Snow is a feminist who wants the women to fight for their country too. But he’s not the kind of feminist who takes back-talk from his sister! Sansa argues that disloyal families need to be punished by having their castles and lands taken away. Jon argues that the disloyal family members are already dead, so if the surviving family members pledge their allegiance to him, that’s good enough for now. A young woman and a young boy – the surviving members of traitorous families – come forward and pledge their allegiance to the new King of the North. Sansa looks pouty but Lady Mormont is pleased with all of Jon’s decisions and Lady Mormont is the only one who counts. God, I love that child.

Sansa and Littlefinger. Meh. I guess he’s still trying to manipulate her or something, whatever. Sansa and Jon fight privately but it’s sort of left at an impasse and you know Sansa is still going to undermine him.

Brienne and Tormund. She’s teaching Pod how to fight and Tormund is watching with interest. When she knocks Pod down, Tormund says something about how Pod is so lucky. Tormund is really going for it. Brienne isn’t into it.

The Hound is Still Around. He’s rolling deep with the Brotherhood and they stop at an abandoned home – where the Hound stayed with Arya – and stay for the night. These scenes were rather beautiful for the Hound, but what was interesting was that the Hound stared into the flames and had a vision about the White Walker army. So The Hound is rolling with the Lord of Light now? The night is dark and full of terrors, Sandor Clegane.

Dragonstone. It’s been so long since Stannis was alive, much less at Dragonstone, that I totally forgot about how beautiful and weird that castle is. Dany finally arrives at Dragonstone, which was given to Stannis after Robert’s Rebellion (when the Targaryens were overthrown and killed). Stannis is dead and I guess Dragonstone has been sitting there empty this whole time. They even left the place unlocked! Dany slowly walks around the castle, and ends up in the “war room” I guess (it’s where Stannis plotted his wars too) and she says “Shall we begin?” Fade to black.

Photos courtesy of HBO/Game of Thrones.