For the first time ever, I found myself watching ten minutes here and there of this season of The Bachelorette. There were so many thinkpieces and analyses about why this season of The Bachelorette was important, mostly because this was our first African-American Bachelorette or first woman-of-color Bachelorette of all time. Rachel Lindsay wore that status well – she wasn’t a drama queen, nor did she take a lot of nonsense from the dude-bros who were attempting to woo her. There were first dates and second dates and roses and some racism. There were celebrity cameos and visits to hometowns and lots of smiling and twirling. I can sort of see why some people are into the show, even though I still believe these shows are, like, harbingers of doom when it comes to romance and romantic expectations. Still, Rachel found love. She got engaged on Monday night’s episode. She got engaged to Some Dude and now they’re on the cover of this week’s People.
Rachel Lindsay can’t imagine life without her fiancé, Bryan Abasolo. In this week’s issue, the 32-year-old attorney from Dallas opens up about why she chose the Miami-based chiropractor and how it wasn’t a difficult choice.
“At the end, it was not tough for me,” Lindsay says of making her final decision. “Going through it, I felt Bryan was perfect for me. Obviously nobody’s perfect — but perfect for me. I still was running away from it. So there were times when I thought, ‘Okay, maybe it’s not him, maybe it’s someone else.’ I can’t say that the whole way through I was like, ‘Yes, it’s definitely Bryan,’ but I can definitely say that in the back of my mind, ‘I really thought it was you.’ ”
She adds, “I really was scared of Bryan. I really, really was, and I really tried to fight it, and I think I talked about that. I was at this crossroads. I run to the situation that’s more difficult for me. It’s more of a challenge that I can fix. I’m a fixer, and I run away from the guy who is every single thing that I want because I just think that either I don’t deserve it. And for the first time, I stopped running away from it, and I was like, ‘Why can’t you have what you want?’ And that was Bryan.”
On Monday night’s final episode of The Bachelorette, America watched as Abasolo got down on one knee and proposed to his “soulmate.”
“Rachel, when I first stepped out of that limo I knew I was in for the ride of my life,” Abasolo, 37, said during the final rose ceremony in Spain. “When we first kissed it was literally like a chemistry bomb had just exploded and I just knew that first night with 100 percent certainty in my heart that we could definitely be something special. You are everything I could ever want in a woman, a wife, the mother of my children. I am completely head over heels totally and absolutely in love with you. I just hope you feel the same.”
After Lindsay expressed similar feelings, Abasolo said, “I am the best version of myself when I’m with you — you’re so easy and effortless to love. I want to love you for the rest of my life.”
Apparently, many people on Twitter did not think Bryan was the guy. They thought Peter was the guy, but Peter wasn’t really feeling the whole “proposing after knowing her for a few weeks” thing. Since I’m missing The Bachelorette Gene, I don’t know what to tell you. I wish Rachel and Bryan well, but on just a superficial level, I doubt this will last the test of time.
Photos courtesy of Getty, cover courtesy of People.
i LOVE her ring.
its actually in the same vein as my my dream engagement ring…….thats all i got.
She wanted Peter but he wouldn’t commit to a proposal so she selected Bryan.She wants to be a wife not a girlfriend.
I don’t get it. Why was he even on the show if he wasn’t willing to propose? I haven’t watched The Bachelorette in a long time, but there have been 13 seasons (about 10 to many, if you ask me, but I digress). Everyone knows that the point of the show is a proposal. You don’t want to settle down, right on. That’s your prerogative. But don’t go on a proposal show?
Looking at the success rate for couples on that show, I’m not sure how this will be an end game. The other guy is right. How can you propose after a few weeks on a game show?
Then why go on this show if you think that? And when Rachel made her expectations 100% clear many times, why stay? Peter is pretty arrogant to think he could change her mind. I’m glad she held her ground and stayed true to what she wanted.
Yeah, Bryan won by default.
Rachel and Peter’s breakup was so real and heartbreaking, if I was Bryan it watching it wouldn’t have made me feel very good about getting the final rose.
Rachel came across as someone who was super focused on getting engaged and not so much on who she’s getting engaged to.
(I’m biased though because the Bachelor format in my native country is different and no one expects an engagement by the end. I side-eye any contestant or lead who actually believes that it’s reasonable to find a future wife/husband on this show and not just a mere coincidence)
My daughter and I watch the series and we loved Peter, didn’t love Bryan. Rachel will also have the future mother-in-law from hell if she does marry.
Oh, yes, that mother is awful and she will ruin their marriage. He is such a mama’s boy. Run, Rachel!
I have a hard time watching these types of shows. The individual dates a large amount of people, looking for marriage . Slowly , voting each one off, and marries the last one, which they never do. I just think if you’re looking for marriage which is the ultimate commitment , you should probably date just one person . Instead of having a few others in the background, just in case. The whole concept seems really weird too me.
I do appreciate that this was the first African American Bachelorette and I also appreciate the inter racial dating as well. Although , in 2017 it’s sad that it’s even an issue . You should always be with the person you click with.
@Aims Agreed! If you want to date lots of ppl cool! But you’re kidding yourself if you honestly believe dating 6 dudes then 3 dudes in the span of 2 weeks all at the same will lead to a husband. Then the fact youre sleeping with all 3 then expect one of them to commit to forever knowing all this. Oh Hell no. I thought it was gross and pathetic for the bachelor and it’s the same for the bachelorette
I (and maybe this is me being naive) don’t think she slept with all three. If anything I think the contestants that do are few and far between. Otherwise, there would be more public “outrage” like there was with that other chick – kaitlyn?
So my two roommates are black and for the first time we all watched most of the season together. I missed the last few episodes including hometown dates and visiting Rachel’s family because I was away on vacation. Some things as a white person I would not have noticed that my roommates critiqued (and obviously this is their opinion): Rachel’s weave was apparently set too high (which I couldn’t unsee after), Eric (the remaining black guy) wearing a crew neck shirt and sneakers to the rose ceremony he got eliminated from when the other two guys wore suits was a big no-no, and Rachel’s eye make up was too dramatic most of the season.
To make it more dramatic and to draw it out for 3 hours, ABC had Rachel come out at the beginning to “react” along with the live audience watching the episode (usually the Bachelor/ette doesn’t come out until the episode is over) and they brought out the runner-up and revealed Rachel had not chosen Peter BEFORE the episode ended. They did this because they knew people would hold out hope that Rachel had had a change of heart and ended up picking Peter in the end (which has happened before in the franchise with Jason Mesnick changing his mind at the After the Final Rose show and picking his runner-up and publicly dumping his first choice) since Peter was the clear favorite. Usually they don’t bring out anyone until the entire episode has aired and goofy Chris Harrison will ask the couple/runner up inane questions about the whole process. It was definitely one of the most intense finales due to the change in format and I guess I should grudgingly congratulate ABC for knowing how to emotionally manipulate their audience.
I wish Rachel well and think she’s been one of the most interesting Bachelorettes we’ve had (I hated Kaitlyn last year so much) but I doubt she and Bryan will make it down the aisle. I realize the edit of the show made it look like Rachel was hung up on getting a proposal but kudos to Peter for not being like “Yeah I’ve known you for a month, let’s get married.”
There were numerous red flags with Peter indicating a chronic failure to commit. His own mother warned Rachel. Once you have experienced commitmentphobe men, you know the signs despite their expert ability to suck you in.
Yeah, I think Rachel definitely recognized the signs. She wanted him the most, I think, but she also recognized that he was afraid to take the plunge, to have faith, and ultimately get married.
His story about his last breakup was a major red flag as well. She was wise to choose Bryan over Peter, but I loved her with Peter.
Totally agree. I also thought it was bonkers that his mom was like “he’s ready for kids but maybe not marriage.” Like what?
Hate watch this show and it’s ridiculousness. Peter was the better option but he’s sane and realizes getting engaged to someone after a few weeks doesn’t bode well for the future. Hoping he was in it for the free vacation and cool trips. This girl is just as blah/fame seeking/thirsty as the rest of the bachelorette ladies… but I guess thats why these girls go on tv. The cool down to earth girl next door isn’t going to be on tv trying to get engaged. It’s hilarious tho when she balled her eyes out when Peter wouldn’t commit then she faked it for Bryan when she realized that was her last option. Ha! True love you guys :-/
I don’t watch these shows. All I know is that the Bachelorette has a higher success rate of staying with the guy she chose at the end of the show compared to the Bachelor.
Rachel and Peter’s breakup had me sobbing. There was so much love, emotion, and heartbreak there, and I can’t focus today because of my emotional hangover. It was the realist moment I’ve ever seen on that show – where two individuals who love each other but want different things and are on different timelines, and in the end couldn’t make it work. (She wanted to be engaged, he didn’t think he was ready to propose even though he felt she was the one.)
On the after show, it was clear Peter still loved her, and that she was still upset with him. I’m still holding out hope that they’ll get back together, even though she’s shut that door now that she’s engaged to Bryan.
Peter tried to contact her after the show ended, but she refused to let him.
I agree with everything here – it’s like a hangover. How about the goodbye kiss between Peter and Rachel? Those emotions were real because there is no way either of them are that good at acting. It was a devastating break-up and I don’t see how Rachel and Peter can watch that episode and not feel regret?
I think Rachel was afraid of being both the first black bachelorette and the first bachelorette to not get engaged. She picked Bryan because he would propose, not because she loves him. They will be broken up by the next season of the bachelor. Also he looks like the type of guy to sleep with your best friend and then blame you for it
Maybe he’s a wonderful person but, I don’t know, I didn’t see it at all.
@Gene123 – I didn’t watch the show at all, but saw vids of their morning show rounds and Bryan seemed like he genuinely cares for her. He came off confident but not arrogant and not a cheater. I wish them well!!
I watched the show and he got a really good edit in the final episode compared to the rest of the season. Im sure he likes her but I really dont see them making it far. Peter had his flaws too but I think they had a more natural chemistry. I just wanted Rachel to be happy and I was fairly disappointed with the casting they did for her
I never have nor will I ever will watch this train wreck of a show. These strangers are put into these circumstances that do not emulate real life at all. They should have them live in an apartment someplace with no heat/AC, no cable TV or internet access and only give them the bare minimum of money to live off of and see how they get along. People’s true colors come out under stressed situations. Not have them sipping champagne in evening gowns. But, like the Kartrashians, it is popular viewing for a bunch of people, so what do I know.
She got engaged because she wanted to be engaged. Not because she loved Bryan the most. Frankly he was the last on my picks of the last 4. Peter may have been hesitant to propose but most people would be after 7 weeks. It was the most normal thing out of the season! By the way rachel was sobbing after he left…she settled for the guy that was going to give her the ring in the end.
This doesn’t last a year.
EDIT: this is the first season of the show that I’ve watched since the first Bachelorette
Although this is a reality show, I must say this was the best bachelorette season I’ve ever seen because it seemed or appeared to be the most real. Of course we can only base opinions of Rachel and Peter from the show, but love is love and there’s no denying that. Rachel made a BIG BIG mistake. Peter was one of the guys who just needed more time and he was honest and a gentleman.
I am a black woman and when Peter looked at Rachel he didn’t see race, he saw authentic love.
What I wouldn’t give to have that.
I never understood the allure of Eric, who was mumbling and oddly hunched for a personal trainer and kept his hands in his pockets like a child during the rose ceremony. They grilled Peter so long last night I really thought they’d tell him Rachel didn’t pick Bryan after all and is still free. Rachel’s eyelashes all season – eek. And too much make up in general.
Rachel was a great Bachelorette, but I don’t get the obsession to get married.
Peter is great to look at, but personality wise….eh.
I grew to appreciate Bryan, but have my doubts, as I do with all these couples. Good luck to them, though.
neither dude was a catch, but then–as the season went on, I stopped thinking rachel was too, and I quote:
“IT’S SO PRETTY! GIVE IT TO ME! IT’S SO PRETTY!”
@kaye THANK YOU! Rachel came off looking terrible not just last night, but also during Men Tell All and for the last few episodes, IMHO. I was stoked to watch the first black Bachelorette who is also the oldest and most successful in the franchise. I haven’t watched a Bachelorette since Trista so I came out of the woodwork for this. But what a disappointment. Loved Rachel at first, but these last few episodes were not a good look on her and her behavior last night towards Peter was especially classless. Attacking him, telling him this wasn’t for him. Clearly, she is all about the ring and the title of fiance and wife. Blech. I think she did him a favor, TBH. Mind you, I like Peter a lot and find him to be REAL, but I do wonder why he went on a show that is clearly about an engagement at the end. Bryan just seems to be a player to me, says the right thing but actually thinks something else. I think Eric grew a lot and what the producers did to Dean during his hometown was really f*ed. Anyway, not itching to watch this show again! I also seem to lack the Bachelorette/Bachelor gene. However, when UnReal comes back I’ll be over that. SO GOOD, lol!
I don’t watch the show but that’s too bad there is an expectation you’ll get engaged at the end to someone you’ve known for 7 weeks – way too much pressure.
Although I guess investing months watching a show just to see two people decide that maybe they want to go on a few dates in real life isn’t much of a payoff.
Rachel was a great bachelorette, but from the get-go I was not impressed with the men. Bryan is a mistake but, frankly, none were a fantastic match for her imo.
We enjoyed it at the beginning…Rachel was lively and the first few episodes were fun. Then it degenerated into the men constantly fighting with each other.
I liked Bryan from the get-go. He’s direct, genuine, and a go-getter. They won’t last. I never expect any of them to and I side-eye the ones that do (except for Trista and Ryan – but then they knew each other from before the show so….) and have televised weddings.
I don’t see all the love with Peter that everyone else does. That “relationship” was based on EGO. All I see was Rachel hung up on the fact he wouldn’t “commit.” This woman seriously needs a copy of the book “He’s Just Not That Into You.”
Everyone knows this show (including the contestants) is pseudo-fake and scripted. Peter had ONE JOB. That was to propose at the end of the show. That is the premise of the ENTIRE show. Rachel upset over him was nothing but a blow to her ego. She could not fathom why he couldn’t give her what she wanted since the WHOLE POINT was to have two dudes propose at the end. Even his MOM stated he wasn’t “ready for marriage” and yet Rachel was still after him.
Plus, people tend to want what they can’t have. That’s all I could see between them. Peter is smart enough to know that, hence the relationship mind-games. His reluctance smelled like manipulative BS, especially when he complained about only wanting to propose once in his life and that he only wanted one marriage not several — which is why he signed up for a reality show that fast-tracks “relationships” — as one does when one is “serious” about commitment and marriage.
I’m just mad at the way this show was edited. The producers really took away from the climactic ending we were expecting. Such a dud of a finale for such a good and interesting season.