Robin Thicke, 40, is expecting a child with his 22-year-old girlfriend April Love Geary. We discussed that on Friday, and when I was researching that story, I went looking to see if Robin’s custody dispute with Paula Patton had ever been resolved. The custody issue of their son Julian exploded early this year, and it involved accusations of abuse, an investigation by Child Protective Services, lawyers, drama, and back-and-forth in the media. Back in March, TMZ claimed that the custody dispute had calmed down a lot, and both Robin and Paula were trying harder to get along for Julian’s sake. And now this – a resolution, perhaps:
Robin Thicke and Paula Patton just hammered out a custody deal for their 7-year-old son so the war is over. According to legal docs filed in their custody case, Julian Fuego will split time between Robin and Paula. He gets Julian Monday through Wednesday and she gets him Wednesday through Friday. They alternate weekends. The exes agreed to share expenses, including private school. They also hammered out a vacation and holiday schedule.
TMZ broke the story … Paula got a restraining order against Robin after Julian complained to school officials his dad used excessive physical force. She even accused Robin of trying to influence a court-appointed monitor with free sushi … which Robin denied. So … double good news for Robin.
People Mag has more details – during Julian’s summers off from school, he will spend one week with Robin, then one week with Paula, and on and on. The court ordered them to “share in all major decisions concerning the minor child’s health, education and welfare including, but without limitation, schooling, religion, medical care and enrichment activities.” Julian will also stay in therapy individually and with his parents.
Here’s my question: do you think Robin will be so geared up to have this kind of access to his son now that he’s expecting a new baby with his girlfriend? That’s what I wonder. I wonder if Paula is playing the long game with Robin, and giving him what he thinks he wants now, and then she’ll just end up the primary caregiver anyway when Robin gets his “fresh start” with the new baby. Anyway, I guess I’m happy that Paula and Robin aren’t calling the cops on each other anymore. But I do find it strange that they could be at each other’s throats for months and then suddenly everything is fine and they can come to a completely equitable solution.
Photos courtesy of WENN.
Yes, this makes no sense to me. Why would Patton back down now when it seemed she had a legitimate case for primary custody?
Just 5 months ago this custody case involved child abuse allegations, CPS, restraining orders, sheriff, police, nanny, school, 911 calls. Now it’s resolved in the most standard of custody arrangements. Sounds like the truth was somewhere in the middle and both parents got a heavy dose of chill out/shape up for the sake of the child. I never doubted Patton and Thicke seems like a douche deluxe but here we are.
Question: is there usually this much back and forth in shared custody, every two to three nights? Seems extra confusing or hard on the child, but I don’t know much about current thinking.
My BF and his ex have their custody situation set up this way. He gets them every Wednesday and Thursday nights plus every other weekend. It’s slightly ridiculous. I wish they’d just do one week on, one week off — it would be a lot less disruptive for everybody — but that would involve going back to court to modify the agreement and they hate each other, so … We’ll see what happens if/when the kids get a bit older and tire of all the back and forth.
Even the week-on, week-off stuff seems exhausting. Someone close to me had this custody arrangement, and not just the kids but THE DOG had to go back and forth each week. Talk about stressful for a poor animal. And they had something that was like half the day each for holidays, so one parent would have to start Thanksgiving dinner at like 10:00 a.m. because they would have to leave middle of the day to go to the other’s…
How do they both get him on Wednesdays? I don’t know if the ping ponging back and forth is good for a kid. Do they live near each other so his commutes aren’t long and there’s the comforting familiarity of his neighborhood and places they hang out?
Hope this works out for Julian’s sake.
They split the day if he has no school. If a school day, then the parent who had the overnight drops off and the other picks up.
Sometimes it’s hard for the kids to be away from their parents for too many nights in a row. In my situation, except for summer holidays my kids aren’t away from either parent for more than 4 nights in a row. My boyfriend is week on week off, and his daughter’s dogs travel with her because it keeps her from getting stressed or anxious. Whatever works for your family.
Yes, this seems horrible. My parents divorced when I was a small child, but my father wasn’t interested in raising me, so I lived exclusively with my mother and stepfather. I can’t imagine being shuffled around so much, especially at a young age. I think it’s very unfair to the child, and therapy can only do so much.
@ who ARE these people?
I was a family lawyer for many years and that was my reaction too. In every second week, Julian will move twice while school and everything is going on. Do they even live close to each other? And alternate weeks in the summer? I always had clients go for at least two weeks at a time and usually four weeks for summer vacation.
It’s not like they’re moving furniture back and forth. It’s three nights with dad and three nights with mom, with alternating weekends. It really isn’t that complicated. He will attend the same school and have the same friends. It’s really not disruptive unless the parents decide to be petty.
If they are the same page and stick to the same routine/schedule (bedtime is the same at both households, wake up time is the same, etc) it won’t be an issue.
And he’ll basically have two of everything. Clothing, etc at each house.
Thanks for filling me in. It seems so stressful for the child. Maybe parents should have to cycle in and out of the child’s stable home instead of the other way around.
If the parents live nearby and everything is the same, maybe it’s not as bad, but what are the odds of parents keeping everything the same? And is having your one special blanket the same when it becomes 2 special blankets?
I really don’t know but it sounds confusing. Maybe that’s just me, I have a hard enough time imagining keeping a 2nd household as an adult – vacation house etc.
It probably won’t end up that way since both of them work a lot. It is smart on her end. He no longer feels threatened and is more likely to not have Julian as often as the order but it will be his call so there is no fight. He travels so much they wouldn’t be able to follow this exactly. We had/have joint custody of my step sons but it really just meant they came with us as much as they wanted and there weren’t restrictions. If the parents can get along it works great but if not it can be a nightmare.
I’m glad that the child gets to be with both parents equally, but this is literally my worst nightmare. I cannot fathom giving away my child for week long stretches. I’m also a control freak.
I wish she had pushed for full custody because the case was disturbing to me. My antenna always goes up when a kid is working himself into a fit not to go to a parents house. Robin is an @$$ and apparently a crap dad. So good luck with the jump off
Maybe things were not as they appeared? I tend not to believe anything you hear in these divorce cases, even if the parents aren’t awful the lawyers often seem to be. It seems standard practice to demand sole custody as a starting point for financial negotiations and I think it is disgusting unless there are really good reasons for a parent being denied access.
This wasn’t a divorce case. Paula and Robin already settled their divorce and agree to joint custody back in 2015. Robin temporarily lost custody this year because their son claimed that he had hit him, and he was afraid to go to his father’s home. Maybe after CPS intervention, Paula feels that Robin has improved his behavior enough to share custody. I hope that he’s still required to go to counseling and/or parenting classes.
Paula didn’t even trigger the CPS investigation his school did. They were divorced long before any of it started. But remember post-divorce robin was a hot mess. I believe that spilled over onto their kid. Again Paula didn’t raise any of these concerns his school did then the child. They had exchanges where Julien was resisting going and Paula called the cops so she wouldn’t have to force him.
None of it sounded good. Frankly I hope he made big changing because it was a mess.
Sometimes going for each other’s throat for so long makes people realize that it’s not the best way. It would effect them and the child. Also there may be a plan in place.
Back and forth three times a week? And that’s normal? Sounds like a logistical nightmare, and stressful for kids.
I know, crazy isn’t it? But this was the standard schedule followed by my children’s little friends in the 90’s and is the current care arrangement my nephew has with his ex-wife.
I had an acquaintance who did two weeks and two weeks off with her ex-husband for custody but they agreed to live next door to each other. Nice if the exes get along but everything is easier if the exes can get over their own feelings.
I was wondering the same thing when I saw the article the other day about his new girl being pregnant Kaiser. I hope for Julian’s sake it isn’t like that but Robin is scummy and I could see it happening 🙁
My hope is they all went to therapy (together and individually) and have worked it out that way and (like the article says) will continue in case of communication breakdown.
How confusing and disruptive for the little boy. Is this usually how custody works in the US? In my country usually mothers receive physical custody, while fathers get visitation rights and part of the holidays. My parents divorced when I was 9. I lived with my mom and while my dad was not hands-on, we got along well, but I would have been devastated to be passed around like a ball several times a week. Hope it works out well for them, but I believe this type of custody arrangement is very unhealthy for the child.
I know a few people with similar arrangements and it’s actually not disruptive, unless the parents choose to make it so.
It’s not like he’s changing schools every week; it’s one week with Mom and one week with dad in the summer. And during the school year, you spend a few days with each. It’s really not that complicated. In most cases with the exception of whose house your at, the routine doesn’t change.
Women don’t just spontaneously get pregnant. Conceiving a child requires two people. Unless there are major issues, I don’t see why the Mom would automatically get the child the majority of the time with dad getting the scraps. 50-50 is actually best when possible.
Me thinks most of the allegations against Thicke were false. Just because he’s a dick doesn’t mean he’s abusive or unfit.
I had this arrangement as a child. It never felt at all disruptive, it was just my life, and I was very happy.
I would have absolutely hated it if one parent only had visitation. I loved them both, I loved living with them both. I would have felt like I’d been cut out of my dad’s life if I only saw him for ‘visits’. He was my parent too. It would have really messed me up to have him end up like some uncle/family friend type figure who just drops in every now and then.
@jamieee
I see what you mean. Perhaps it’s a cultural issue. In my country fathers were much less involved in the day to day childrearing. This was considered primarely the mother’s job. I would have been very upset to be obliged to spend half my time with my dad. He had a demanding job and I think he wouldn’t have wanted joint custody even if it would have been offered to him. He was never good with kids for more than a short while. My half brother also lived with his mum and when he visited my dad for holidays, my dad would actually send him live with my aunt or else with my great-grandmother. So maybe I’m just biaised against dads:((…
I wonder if Paula ended up being more amenable to this after certain issues were worked out – remember, the allegations came directly from the kid, not Paula herself, so something was definitely up. She and Robin have known each other forever, and maybe she thinks that there’s something salvageable in him.
I’m wondering how a 22 year old new mom is going to feel about playing step mom to a seven year old. Paula will end up with primary custody.
More likely the 22 yo and Robin will split in the pretty near future.
They are bound to break up. He will be sharing joint custody of both of his children pretty soon. Patton realizes that there is no way in hell Thicke and his 22-year-old gf will stay together long-term. Julian will be in his current gf’s life temporarily, but will end up spending most of his time with Patton.
Maybe they decided to settle and share custody because it was best for their child. Maybe with therapist guiding and monitoring the situation she felt comfortable sharing custody. Maybe ABC advised her to settle because they don’t want negative press linked to their new show.
That was an awful lot of energy spent on bad press to end in 50/50
Splitting time is best even though it can seem like it isn’t. He won’t feel left out of either of his parent’s life. It could breed friendlier co-parenting and flexibility. Therapy is involved so it probably helped diffuse anger and come to terms.
” Anyway, I guess I’m happy that Paula and Robin aren’t calling the cops on each other anymore.”
Really? The kid told his teacher his dad punched him in the face…
Im not putting down his new gf but, i keep looking at the photos thinking…when he had Paula on his arm, he had a Woman..on his arm.