Of all the excuses and justifications people make for predators, one of the worst is surely “well, you should have known.” It’s victim-blaming, pure and simple, to question a victim’s actions. With the Harvey Weinstein debacle especially, it’s increasingly clear that he was a cold-blooded psycho who had a small army of “helpers” enabling (like, physically enabling) his systematic rape, assault and harassment of women. He had agents, managers, assistants, tabloid journalists helping him get women alone in hotel rooms, and when he couldn’t manipulate women into being alone with him, he simply used brute force to barge his way into their rooms or apartments or homes.
In any case, Pamela Anderson thinks Harvey Weinstein’s victims should have known better. They should have known better than to go to a meeting their agent set up. They should have known better than to be manipulated into going somewhere private to talk to a well-known producer about a role. They should have never worn that, or opened the door to him, or blah blah blah. You get the idea. In an interview with Megyn Kelly – who simpers and barely says anything about Pam’s victim-blaming – Pam goes from “I was abused and had to learn not to blame myself for it” to “here’s why Weinstein’s victims are to blame for being assaulted” in about one minute.
From People Magazine:
Pamela Anderson has stirred up controversy by suggesting Harvey Weinstein’s accusers shouldn’t have allowed themselves to be alone with him.
“It was common knowledge that certain producers or certain people in Hollywood or people to avoid, privately,” she told Megyn Kelly Thursday. “You know what you’re getting into if you’re going into a hotel room alone.”
Anderson, who has spoken out about her own experiences with sexual abuse, went on to explain that when she was a young actress, she used her “common sense” to avoid uncomfortable situations with certain producers.
“When I came to Hollywood, of course I had a lot of offers to do private auditions and things that made absolutely no sense,” she said. “Just common sense: don’t go into a hotel room alone. If someone enters a door in a bathrobe, leave. These things that are common sense.”
When Kelly suggested that many of these women were lured into meetings by their agents or female assistants, Anderson said the women should have insisted another person be in the room. “That’s what they should have done. Send somebody with them. I think there’s easy ways to remedy that. That’s not a good excuse,” she said. She continued, “I know that Hollywood is very seductive and these people want to be famous. Sometimes you think you’re going to be safe with an adult in the room. I don’t know where this security comes from, but somehow I’ve dodged it all. I’ve been offered lots of things. A condo and a Porsche to be someone’s number one girl. I just naively said, ‘Well there must be a number two then, so I’m not interested.’ Money, homes, roles in movies. And I just didn’t want to do it that way. I had no desire. I’m a romantic and it didn’t appeal to me.”
GMAFB, Pam. I realize that she’s a victim of abuse too, and this is likely part of her way of controlling her own narrative. But she’s also 50 years old, old enough to know better. Old enough to understand the f–ked up victim-blaming she’s employing as a way to humblebrag that she’s Not That Kind of Girl. She’s basically saying that all of Weinstein’s victims were just looking to get famous by any means necessary, and that they have nobody but themselves to blame because Harvey Weinstein was a rampant sexual predator, obvs.
Pam is doubling down on her victim-blaming too – there was controversy immediately following this interview, and Pam responded by posting this to Instagram: “Backlash is good. – I like this. My position is not ‘problematic’ because I doesn’t fall in line with the common herd or trend. I’m trying to tell women as a survivor of childhood abuse myself – It is important to be proactive as an adult who knows better – in defending themselves.” There’s a difference between encouraging women to protect themselves and blaming women for being victimized, and Pam crossed that line.
Photos courtesy of WENN.
Yes, when I look for advice on common sense, Pamela Anderson is my go to.
yes considering how many times she’s gone back to Rick Soloman and Tommy Lee.
this is a woman who blamed Tommy Lee for giving her a disease he doesn’t have; sorry, she has 0 credibility to me especially after the whole “well I was victimized but I’m not to blame but other women are to blame” and Julian Assange is an angel BS
Ex-freaking-zactly. This is one of the most outrageous statements yet about this subject by a woman.
All this, and she’s Julian Assange’s girlfriend. Cancelled.
So that wasn’t just a rumour, then? In that case, I second the cancellation.
How come they are together? I thought he was still secluded in Ecuador’s embassy in London.
I have never liked her. Insensitive comments. Can feel for her as a survivor of child abuse but she made a career based on her looks not talent. Extremely sexualised image. Somehow I don’t believe her about her Hollywood experience. She should shut up. Being a PETA supporter doesn’t help. Show some compassion to women and men too.
Exactly. Hey Pam, you are dating a rapist. Cancelled.
As if women don’t already have to fight off what seems like every other man on earth, we now have to defend ourselves from WOMEN and their horrible takes? Pam, you stink.
Mark my words, she’s going to morph into some bible thumping moralist condemning women for everything she’s ever done.
There is no evidence for that claim.
And to not forget, she was once Chachi’s GF. Enough said.
Seriously? omg.
oh yeah. she has a big ultra conservative streak but hides it for sure.
Oh yes. Many years ago, when she was still floating along on her TV fame. Odd couple, eh?
and Kid Rock. Ew.
girlfriend is generous. more like paid companion.
So you dislike whistleblowers? I remember a time when whistleblowers were revered by the press AND the public at large. Now I wonder, what is different this time? Just kidding, I know exactly what is the difference this time and it is a shame. Sometimes the ONLY difference between America and some tin pot dictatorship is the “claim” that we live in an open country. Wishing ill on someone and their process who works towards that end is self-defeating to you and anyone else who likes some transparency in their elected officials regardless of which political colours they wear. It is FAKE whistleblowing like the one the alt-right did on Planned Parenthood that needs to be reviled and combated; after all one bit of information is real and one is not. Real information is NEVER a bad thing and it is something REAL journalists are supposed to be seeking out and uncovering.
No Neil, we dislike rapists.
What Wikileaks publishes is stolen and not infrequently doctored, so it’s not real.
And “whistleblowing” that reveals sources and methods and gets our agents and foreigners killed? It’s not good. Julian assange, Russian agent, is a slimy little snake.
neil – you took a wrong turn. to get to infowars you need to take a right at fox news.
Does she still work?
But what she is saying makes sense in that women and men should use common sense and try to avoid these types of situations.
There are predators out there and you need to always take precautions. Many of HW’s victims acknowledged that they knew he was a predator, yet they allowed themselves to be manipulated by people and put in danger. Don’t victim blame but educate people on how to stay safe!
The majority of victims are living normal lives in the context of family, friends, school and work, and are taken by surprise and/or overwhelmed by force, wespons, or being drugged.
You’re basically saying, “Why didn’t they close their legs?”
They were manipulated by a power player who could break their careers with one or two phone calls. I would call that subtle blackmail. Because if you know how powerful such a man is then you try to tread very carefully and try to not offend him by declining drinks at the bar and such. Power and hierachy have to be taken into account.
Also some agents seem to deliver some of their acting protegees to people like Weinstein in order to curry favour. Elisabeth Berkley did tell a similar story involving Dicaprio and his pussy posse.
See here:
http://www.complex.com/pop-culture/2015/11/history-of-the-pussy-posse-leonardo-dicaprio
One such night where the Pussy Posse’s combination of shameless conquest and rush to fight for Leo came together happened shortly after Titanic made DiCaprio Hollywood’s biggest star. The actor, along with his Posse friends, spotted Elizabeth Berkley of Saved by the Bell and Showgirls fame at the premiere for The Man in the Iron Mask and decided she needed to be partying with them. As they surely did a thousand times before with a thousand different girls, the Posse sent L.A. publicist Karen Tenzler to corral Berkley. “She said, ‘Jay Ferguson and Leo are going crazy for you, and they want you to come to Elaine’s after this,” Berkley told Sales. The only problem? Berkley was dating actor Roger Wilson, which DiCaprio and Ferguson knew. As did Tenzler: “Without Roger,” she specified to Berkley. Berkley balked, and the day after got bombarded with calls from Ferguson and Tenzler until Wilson tried to step in. “I said, ‘Look Jay,’” Wilson told Sales. “‘I know you guys are having a great time and the town is your apple—but not this part of town.’”
They also injured her partner. You know violence is all cool if a woman turns you down.
I hope this reckoning will also be the end of DiCaprio. No way did he never overstep boundaries. All of the men in that circle are awful, Maguire got of on humiliating that female card dealer and Blaine has been accused of rape just recently. I doubt DiCaprio as the leading dude is all clean.
@ QueenB
I am curious, too, if Dicaprio will be accused. I am wondering … the term “pussy posse” didn’t come up for nothing. For now he is laying low.
” Don’t victim blame but”
Im not racist but
You are victim blaming. Tell the predators how to behave.
I think instead of telling survivors how they should have known better, that energy is better spent focusing on the infrastructure that allows these predators to flourish. Why is there an environment for predatory people across society and what conversations and actions should we all be part of to tackle this?
Focusing on changing the behavior of someone targeted by a predator leaves the person as an individual dealing with this problem. There is far more strength in tackling this as a group to change the environment that enables predatory behavior.
@ Barbcat
Nothing wrong with being careful and it is certainly a good idea to avoid dangerous situations.
But you can’t hold victims accountable by saying they defaulted by not keeping themselves safe. Even if a victim had ignored the most basic rules of personal safety the victim must not be blamed but the attacker.
Pam Anderson doesn’t really make a clear and unmistakenable distinction between keeping yourself safe and victim-blaming. I think with Pamela Anderson I would keep in mind her own biography. She was a victim and by telling herself that she just has to keep herself safe she can deal with it. I won’t really trash her for that.
Except countless victims of HW talked about insisting that someone else be in the room with them, and that he sent them away or they turned out to be complicit. And also that a huge amount of business is done in hotels (they essentially stand in for traveling offices) but also not everyone rapes.
I’m with Barbcat, I’m open to Pamela’s point. All conversations are in context. Parsing our sound bites to attack another persons position isn’t dialogue. It’s verbal jousting for positioning,
One can place full and appropriate blame on perpetrators for their crimes while still —as part of the same dialogue —also urging women to act wisely and self protect. The two aren’t mutuslly exclusive. think of it as educating self defense.
Lamboast me, I don’t care, I haven’t supported a criminal nor blamed a victim. It’s never the victims FAULT. Blame the perpetrators. And still tell stories about how it happened to help other women learn perpetrator patterns and seek to avoid risky situations…that’s not bad, and that’s not victims blaming,
@Another Day
It is victim-blaming and the big part you, Barbcat and Pam are missing is these women didn’t hear the rumors and decided to be alone with Harvey anyway, they were set up.
Meeting in hotels are common for interviews and every job position, not just Hollywood. Some victims were set to Harvey without knowing they were going to meet him, some were sent by their agents they’ve known for years, some were accompanied by other woman to the hotel rooms so these women felt safer, some of these Hotel visits other women were present as they always say there safety in numbers right.
Many people heard rumors about Harvey but not about his female assistance helping him and not about the agency sending over girls.
It’s not victim blaming to advise people to use some common sense. We do it everyday!
Stealing is illegal, yet most of take precautions to protect our belongings: we lock up our homes, we lock our car doors, we don’t leave expensive electronics in plain view in the car. When traveling to large cities where mugging and petty crime is common, you don’t leave bags unattended, you don’t wear flashy or expensive jewelry; you be discreet.
In a perfect world where there is no crime we should all be able to do whatever the fuck we want to do – but that’s not the world we live in. And there are little things all women and men can do to lower the likelihood that they will be the victim of physical or sexual assault.
It’s the triangle of crime. You can’t control what other people do – but we can all be smart to vastly decrease the odds that we will be victims. Here’s a good example, it’s common knowledge that alcohol plays a huge role in sexual assault on college campuses; we should be teaching boys not to rape and to understand consent but how many women would be spared the trauma of rape if we also told them don’t get wasted at frat parties, if you are going to drink get your own and don’t leave your drink unattended, always have a couple of friends with you (at least one) who has your back all night, don’t go alone into a room with a frat guy or a group of frat guys…….the list goes on and on. Because most rapes and assaults are by people we know.
Like I said, it’d be great if we lived in a perfect world but that isn’t the world we live in. So we all need to take precautions to protect ourselves. We do it with our belongings everyday so why should our bodies and space be any different.
Okay, someone solve this for me. You work at a low income job and cannot afford to quit -if you do, it means going hungry, not being able to pay rent, if you have kids, then your kids’ lives will also be affected. Your boss or coworkers start sexually harassing you. How do you stay smart about protecting yourself from harassment and assault?
Wtf is with the common characterization of sexual assault survivors as too naive or as people who were partying too much and too drunk to protect themselves.
Seriously, stop focusing on the survivors. Look at the culture -from work environment, worker’s rights, response by law enforcement -there are so many areas where there are concrete actions that can be taken to protect people.
Sexual harassment has always been rampant in Hollywood. Why have there never been protections and regulations for actors?
I wanted to add this about fraternities: If a fraternity is so tied into being a place of rape, then why are they allowed as part of any college campus? Why are colleges enabling these places? What does it say about all of us that millions of young women are sent off to college every year being told that their schools enable essentially rape dens if this is how we advise them to stay safe? And in that kind of culture, how can we simplify staying safe with watch your drink and don’t be alone in a room with a male peer if he’s a member of a fraternity?
And what does it say about how we raise boys in our society that these are kind of social clubs that are made available for them?
By focusing responsibility on the individual instead of the culture, what is being enabled is hoping the rapist picks someone else.
It is victim blaming when you tell a survivor of rape, sexual assault, sexual harassment that it was their fault for not using common sense. I’m not sure what part of that do you not see is victim blaming.
Yes, people should take common sense measures to be safe. But none of that mitigates the responsibility of men not to rape. The decision to rape and all of the blame goes to those who commit the act.
Well yeah. Nobody is saying anyone should be absolved when they commit a crime; it’s about taking precautions to decrease the odds that you’ll be a victim in the first place. Obviously men shouldn’t rape. That’s a no brainer. Just let people shouldn’t steal, rob, mug, murder, and a host of other things.
Re: @Natalie I’m not sure who that was directed to as my comments were specifically about avoiding being a victim of a violent crime in context of PA’s comments.
Back to your scenario, sexual harassment in the workplace isn’t a new thing and pretty much every company has policies in place to deal with it. Every year at my job, I go through compliance training that covers just that: what it is, how to report it, who to report it to, what happens if it’s not being taken seriously, etc.
I’d imagine a woman in that scenario would do what poor women have been doing since the beginning of time: make a decision / choice. Some may try to stick it out, some would probably quit on the spot and figure it out as they go, some would try to navigate the situation until they found a new job. If you are really that interested why don’t you go out and talk to some working class / poor women and ask them what they’d do.
But I will say this, this example is a bit disingenuous. Especially when trying to conflate it to what’s going on in Hollywood. None of those women were poor destitute with children barely making it. But it’s like whenever a discussion emerges about the fact that women do have agency and choices – someone always wants to bring up that poor destitute single Mom who apparently lives in a town with only one employer and she has absolutely no ability to find another job. That’s an insult to working class and poor women. And furthermore most people don’t legitimately care about that woman, it’s just an example that is thrown out to avoid another discussion which is that women with money and options absolutely have choices – more choices than the poor working class woman. And many of the former will go with the choice that will allow her to continue to advance her career because she doesn’t want to rock the boat and she cares more about herself and career than some idea of sisterhood.
Your company’s policies are there to protect the company, not you. Matt Lauer at NBC is an excellent example of how worthless those policies can be.
My fraternity comment was in response to your comment. My scenario concerning women in low-income jobs was in response to comments made by you and others concerning how women should protect themselves to illustrate how flimsy this advice is in practice. I think you should speak to some of these women before giving this kind of advice.
And I do care about these women. It’s why I want their circumstances to be part of the conversation. You also don’t know the financial situations of any of the women being harassed and quite often, it’s younger women just beginning their careers being harassed. Also, sexual harassment is not an isolated incident that can be contained in one company and escaped by going to a different company. Placing the responsibility on the individual and telling to be smart about staying safe is not good advice.
Women should not have to sacrifice or hamper their career growth because they are being harassed. That does not make them against the sisterhood. And it sounds like the opposite of what we should all want which is more women attaining positions of power and influence.
@Natalie S: +1000.
Patty, thank you for being the voice of reason and not jumping on the bandwagon. It’s not victim blaming to advise women to watch themselves and be careful, lowering the *risk* of a crime, the same way we go about advising safety precautions for any other crime. God forbid you don’t express this is the exact perfect terms.
Wow, the internet can be exhausting with the friggin’ semantics.
ETA: I also think a lot of the victims did the women who followed them a great disservice by not screaming it from the rooftops. Maybe it wouldn’t have gone on so long if more of the women left a trail. So I hope that now, in the wake of all of these accusations, and with the knowledge that a better investigation can be conducted with evidence gathered, everyone reports immediately.
@Patty
It is victim blaming you and some others are saying that it’s the victims fault they were rape or assaulted for not using “common sense”. Tell me what “common sense” did these women fail to use.
It’s the same as saying its your fault you got sexually assaulted/rape because you wore a short skirt. That’s one of the biggest problems and stigmas rape and sexual assault victims face. That they have to prove they were “blameless” in their assault.
As for your scenario about poor women facts show the opposite to be true. Poor women are more likely to stay in their jobs where they are being harassed because they need money to feed themselves in their family.
@Patty
Let’s say you get a job at a company and you hear rumors about your manager so you take every precaution to never be alone with him or in his office with the door closed. One day you get a memo from his secretary saying that you have a 3 o’clock meeting with one of the executives to go over a project you been working. It’s something you did many times before and when you get to the office the executive is not there, but your manager and he sexually Assault you. Would it be your fault for lack of Common Sense.
@Rose. I’ll take the bait. There are people at my company that you probably don’t want to be alone in a room with you. Not because they’ll harass you, they are just boorish unless there’s someone there to check their behavior. I open the door and peek in, if the “executive” isn’t there, I say I’m going to wait outside for so and so to show up; otherwise they meeting is rescheduled.
Nobody is saying it absolves men, perps of responsibility. It’s just saying that in some cases there are things we can do as women to minimize the odds of being a victim.
I mean you know what else is illegal and wrong? Pedophilia and child molestation. But we’d never say because it’s wrong we don’t have to equip our children to be prepared. No we give them the talk about stranger danger and inappropriate touching. We make sex offenders register so that parents can know who’s in their neighborhood to help protect their children. We vett adults who want to work with children, coach kids sports, and mentor.
It’s not about victim blaming, it’s about recognizing that there are always people out there who are going to do bad things and equipping people with at least some tools to try to avoid being a victim.
I’m not saying I have all of the answers and sometimes there is nothing you can do but that’s no excuse for putting your head in the sand and doing nothing.
@Party
No one is saying do nothing what people are says is that its not the victim’s fault they were rape which you think it is their fault.
We also never blame children for being molested either so there that. Statistics shows children are more likely to be raped not by strangers, but by friends and family members.
Also more women are raped not by strangers but by friend, family member or an ex.
I understand the idea that people should take precautions and avoid danger when there are certain risks. But what can one do when they work in an environment where their mere job or promotion is dependent on someone’s power? People shut up even in offices and companies that have HR proceedings and are backed by labour/employment laws. Let alone in a loose work environment like Hollywood, especially in cases where there is no contractual relationship between say the bloody bastard Weinstein or his company and a woman that wants a role.
Sexual harassment and assault are embedded in society in all countries and parts of society starting from families to the village, or organizations of all kinds. It’s a matter of power and systems that are not in the interest of victims. Including attitudes towards gender violence.
When did the conversation become about what women should avoid, instead of what men shouldn’t do?
They aren’t mutually exclusive. Why can’t it be about both? Until the world is perfect, it must be about both,
Did you lock your front door last pm?
And how do women lock their door?
A conversation about woman’s need to be more cautious about exercising her rights is always easier and more comfortable than a conversation about the way males are socialized and how to change it. That’s doubly true with those who are invested in defending conservatives.
to put it clearly: you must not hold a safety problem against the victim. If all victims were guilty because they weren’t careful enough then we could close all courts.
The attacker is the criminal and to be hold accountable for the crime – not the victim who suffers/ed from the crime.
Probably around the time it became clear that men weren’t ever going to change.
I want to add that while people were told that Harvey was a predator, they were not told that their own agents and agencies would seemingly set them up to be assaulted. That goes beyond learning to be safe because at that point how do you know who to trust? It’s unprofessional to take a personal friend to work meetings.
So Patty, what exactly was Terry Crews supposed to do to not put himself in the situation where he was groped? I mean he must of known that a party with execs is a potentially dangerous situation for him… rolling my effing eyes at all of you
@ Natalie
I wonder about that, too. Apparently agents and managers tried to curry favour with Weinstein by sending them actresses for sex crimes? That is worse than enforced prostitution.
Frankly, ladies, we need to remember that most men are looking at porn on a daily basis. It really screws with them. Men have a problem recognizing their behavior because they are trying so hard to be a “man”. I have two sons, and older men teach them all sorts of nonsense. We have an explosion of comic book heroes – our little boys do want to be good. All the guns and war wounds do them no good at all.
Well, first of all, NOT all of the victims knew that. Alice Evans just ran into him at a bar and he manhandled her to the bathroom. She made the mistake of mentioning her boyfriend at the time (now husband) was Ioan Gruffudd, and HIS career immediately started to suffer.
Even if you know that a guy is a predator, you also know he can make or break your career. So you can be in a position where you try to walk an impossible line. Furthermore, hotel room meetings are a norm in that business. So things don’t look immediately wrong. Especially if a female professional walks you into the room on the pretense she will stay, and then abandons you to the robe monster.
Also, what about the actresses whose hotel rooms he broke into? Should they have known better than to stay in a hotel room?
Finally, listen. I have been listening to this advice all my life. I live under a curfew and police my behavior and don’t have closed door meetings with men in my industry and I AM A FUCKING SHADOW OF MYSELF, so much do I not stop taking my safety seriously. This kind of thinking perpetuates a world in which women cannot be free, or funny, or messy, or human. Right now we are fighting for that world, and you are quite welcome to step off that train and stay behind in your shitty town surrounded by mediocre men you spend your life propping up and navigating around. Have fun with that.
People don’t want to accept that many, many times, survivors of sexual assault followed ALL the “rules” society has thrown at them to make people feel complicit if they are assaulted. Very often, all that stands between a survivor of sexual assault and someone who has not been assaulted is just dumb luck.
But that paints a frightening picture of the world and it’s easier to bury our heads in the sand and tell ourselves there are things we can do to prevent this. And these responsibilities tend to fall on the individuals and not the system that enables these attacks and the lack of consequences which then lets the rest of us look away and tell ourselves it won’t happen to us.
Imagine reading these comments and being told that maybe you would not have been attacked if you had just used some “common sense?”
Also, from the time women can walk they’re taught to “take precautions.” Don’t walk alone at night. Walk to your car with your keys between your hands. Always be aware of your surroundings. Don’t drink too much. Always watch your drinks. Finger wagging victims for not taking enough precautions is basically saying “whelp, you dropped your anti-rape shield for one minute, what did you expect?” We’re not unaware we’re in constant danger, okay? We’re almost constantly working to prevent our own rapes. The whole conversation is just so backwards. Where’s the accountability for men?
She’s cruel and insensitive to say any of this. Victims need empathy and compassion. But this view and choice of words by Pam is not uncommon in victims. You have to heal, somehow, and it’s so traumatic that sometimes this is as far as a person gets in healing – you see what happened, you try to carry on in life, but a switch is off and stays off.
This gives me new perspective on people who say they love animals more than people. It’s because they haven’t fully healed.
I have compassion for Pam. Hopefully none of the victims take her words or opinion on as anything but someone who is also in pain but doesn’t realize it.
Don’t do this Pam. I’m sure a good bit of those women were also at parties where you would never think someone would openly grope you.
Exactly! I wonder if her blaming the victims for not using common sense would apply to, say Paz de la Huerta who was behind closed doors when POS Weinstein busted in on and raped.
I have always had a soft spot for Pam so this interview has deeply, deeply disappointed me. 🙁
Not the most credible advocate, is she. I don’t know much about her but…Tommy Lee?
Kid Rock? Rick Salomon? Pipe down now, Pammy.
And Chachi!
Assange!!
Pamela Anderson is an example of a woman whose boundaries were obliterated as a child and from what I recall the sexual abuse was by the hands of several different people. Then as a teen, she was used by men and later in Hollywood she was in the hands of glorified pimps.
Her safety rules sound similar to what a sex worker might say who is used to brutish men and constant vigilance.
She has no understanding of subtler forms of exploitation since I don’t think it was ever put to her so “delicately.” She was never in contention or treated like an A-list or B list actress so in her world a hotel room means some gross international “financier” who plans to do wicked things by outrageous means of force.
She has held on to a false of sense of power that she clearly doesn’t have and her ongoing horrible taste in men means she gets into sleazy exploitative relationships. She is so far past the terry cloth producer skeeve robe moments that in her mind it seems like nothing. Her world view is effed up and nonsensical.
Agreed.
Exactly. She’s a very damaged person and her perspective of this is NOT at all what ours is or would be. I just feel bad for her that she’s endured so much to make her think this is a reasonable point of view.
She is an incredibly damaged woman. Even though I think she is wrong, I can’t feel anything but pity. I remember Tommy Lee used to beat her when she was pregnant, and Kid Rock is even more violent.
It was telling when she talked about trying to tell her mother about the abuse and it was brushed away. 🙁
I think that Pam Anderson tries to keep telling herself that if she applies “safety rules” then it won’t happen again. Perhaps that is her way of dealing with it.
I am so sorry for what happened to her and I just wish her all the best.
As for her comments: she didn’t directly blame victims so I will give her a pass because… see my paragraph above.
Agreed. She seems to still be in a survival mode where she tries to feel in charge by controlling herself. It’s a common strategy. Which is why I can’t hate her even though I disagree with her with every fiber of my being. Especially since ‘common sense’ advises – to dress modestly, to not drink, to watch a drink, to not walk home alone, etc. – leave bad/naive people vulnerable because at the end of it all it basically implies: “Don’t rape me, rape someone else.” They don’t adress the perpetrators, they don’t say to NOT RAPE AT ALL MAYBE.
Very well said. She is an incredibly damaged woman and my heart goes out to her despite her victim blamey statements. I hope she can one day get to a place of healing and gain insight as to why her stance is so problematic and upsetting to victims.
Bish, please. You lost what little relevancy you had YEARS ago so it almost isn’t even worth canceling you for an opinion no one is even checking for. Playing to your mouth breather fans, who, let’s face it, are probably all you have left, in order to get press to make another plea for your loser, irrelevant attention whore boyfriend isn’t a good look.
I’m a mouthbreather. I have trouble breathing through my nose. It’s very hurtful to see that used as an insult.
Yeah, same here. I have a deviated septum and totally breathe through my mouth most of the time, so you’re not alone 🙂 As for Pam, she should just take a seat. The focus should not be on the victims (what they could have done differently – I’m sure they ask themselves that all the time) it should be on the people who do this and THEIR consequences.
Fellow mouth breather here! I’m pretty good at hiding it I think but it sucks. Not only do people equate it with stupidity but it is ruining my gum health as well despite being a religious flosser. Sigh.
Poor thing. Using controversy to stay in the news. Please, whatever you do, don’t blame men. Don’t blame the actual crime, blame the introduction of it. The reason she’s saying such utterly ridiculous things is because her entire existence has been based upon tits and ass. She was (WAS) a sex symbol and if we blame predators for not controlling their impulses, we take away her bread and lubricants. In a way, she’s almost as bad as the predators themselves spewing enabling garbage and blaming women. Shall we post a bevy of her greatest wardrobe hits? She’s a walking, talking blowup sex doll who targets men, enticing them to ‘lose control.’ She’s right. She’s definitely ‘in control.’
Thank you for putting my feelings about her abject hypocrisy into words! She would not have a dime if she had not spent her life cavorting around as a budget Marilyn Monroe. Anderson just recently stated, upon his death, that Hugh Hefner was the most important person in her life. “I am me because of you,” she said. No kidding!
Her statement about Hefner perfectly sums up her career, and… Oooooo, it’s an entirely new level of EEEWWWW.
“The reason she’s saying such utterly ridiculous things is because her entire existence has been based upon tits and ass She was (WAS) a sex symbol….Shall we post a bevy of her greatest wardrobe hits?”
Since so man women who pride themselves on being ‘classy’ or unconventional have subltly or overtly blamed women for men’s sex crimes over the years too, it’s doubtful and a bit problematic to make this about her lack of clothing and sex work. It’s just more evidence that nobody is incapable of victim-blaming and internalizing misogyny, whether they’re a Wendy Shalit-type, a Sinead O’Connor-type, or a Pam Anderson-type. The last celebrity to be called out for victim-blaming was a modestly dressed older woman.
Her wardrobe is a direct example of her intentions. But forget the wardrobe. Clothing doesn’t justify. Let’s talk about her character. Her choices. Her demeanor. Her claim to fame. Her public persona. Her language. Her body language. Shall we continue? Or does her simply being a woman and blaming other women give her a unilateral platform for such topics? Imo, no. It does not.
If your point is that the platform she’s been given as a public figure adds extra danger to what she’s saying, I agree 100%.
If your argument is that her sexually immodest lifestyle is the cause of her victim-blaming and misogyny, that’s pure BS. ‘Classy’ women say (and are currently saying) the same exact things she’s said here. Inside of Hollywood and outside of Hollywood.
If you want to dissect Pam Anderson then please do take into account her history: she was abused since she was a child.
And as for Anderson’s dresses or career or demeanor: Is it really okay to trash a woman because she wears skimpy clothes and earned money as a glamour model bordering on soft porn?
I agree that she’s almost as bad as the predators. Her opinions damage victims to the point where they are no longer seen as that, but as women “old enough to have known better”.
Being naive does not mean you deserve to be assaulted. That’s the way pam’s comments come across to me. Also, didn’t Harvey have a female be in the room with them at first, then she would leave?
So, true, Snowflake. If so many people were not naive (and trusting that others are just as honest as they are) , there’d be no one to take advantage of. Der. I don’t like it, but am starting to think that PA might have had a lower bar as she was navigating the Hollywood scene. Did she know how to get what she wanted and was prepared to play a little givventake, unlike other victims who didn’t/don’t know how to play the game? Some people just have that “knowing” thing. I am only asking, not concluding, as I don’t know too much about her.
Here’s what I’ll say in her defense. We’ve all lived in a world in which being a woman meant that you’re constantly vulnerable in big ways and small. This is so baked in that we don’t even think about the alternative. I’ve always thought about whether a particular situation is safe, or as safe as I could possibly make it. This is ingrained in us and is the only responsible thing to do, given the parameters of the world as it has existed. Recently I’ve begun thinking about an alternative. I still don’t think that world exists but I think I’ve begun to think that we should demand it. The world’s axis has shifted a bit for me, because the background assumption that this is just the way it is has shifted somewhat. Pam’s a good deal older than me, and I don’t think she’s turned that corner yet. I say cut her some slack.
Why can’t these psychos use their common sense?
Wow, didn’t even have the decency to backpeddle. She’s a special kind of crappy, isn’t she. Well, I’m sure she will just like everyone else out there making these ridiculous kinds of comments.
It reads almost like humble bragging that PA wasn’t abused as an adult again. Evidentially victims (my friend included) of childhood SA survivors find they are actually more at risk of repeat abuse and rape.
Does PA not read the recent accounts of the abuse – nothing would stop these predators – family bonds, perceived friendship, by-standers – they used their experience, expertise, manipulation and fear to surprise,shame & subjugate their victims.
She’s doing their work for them in blaming them.
Pam’s idea of abuse isn’t healthy by a longshot. Every man she has been with has been physically and sexually abusive as well as years of severe drug and alcohol abuse.
I like that she thinks she’s swimming against the current by blaming women for being in the presence of an abuser. Like that is somehow new and original thinking. She’s making a bold choice by telling women it really was there fault. She believes it is brave to shame the women for being victimized, she’s not following the ‘herd’ by just letting these women that were raped and terrorized believe they weren’t at least partially to blame for being attacked. And she honestly believes she is doing it for their benefit. Bless her heart.
There is nothing new under the sun, Pam. Especially not you.
That’s what stuck out to me too. What an idiot. No Pam, your beliefs are actually pretty much the status quo. It’s the ones criticizing your message who aren’t “falling in line with the common trend” (as she put it). She was already cancelled (not that she had been ‘on’ before) for her defense of Asange.
Yes, especially with her second statement, she actually believes she discovered a fact that no one had thought of.
By her own logic, she should have known to stay away from Tommy Lee. He’d always been an abusive POS and he abused her and their kids also. She is simply victim blaming, and she obviously hasn’t worked through the complexities of her own abuse yet. Of course we all need to use common sense and do what we can to protect ourselves. But we need to stay compassionate and understanding, and realise that abuse is so complex and insidious that ”common sense” alone will not protect everyone. Also we shouldn’t put any weight in what these Hollywood people say, they are in the most disgusting and sick industry imaginable and they represent the least enlightened and most unhealthy views of life and love.
I think she tries to process the abuse she experienced by telling herself: I just need to stick to the safety rules and it won’t happen again. With that logic in mind she kind of blames W’s victims for not sticking to the safety rules. Twisted thoughts, indeed.
If you look at all the sexual and violent abuse she suffered since childhood then I think I am not going to trash her.
Yes curious, I totally agree and can understand her reasoning and defense mechanisms. It’s so sad that there are so many people truly suffering and in agony and these things can make them feel so much worse and blame themselves even more. I also noticed she conflated the ”casting couch” with sexual assault and threw everyone together, implying that his victims were planning to sleep with him to get ahead. She went out of her way to say she’d never slept with a man for a job/cash/house and painted herself as the heroine in that she declined Harvey because she wouldn’t work with a dog (a literal dog!). Again, all distancing behaviors designed to elevate herself above victims.
I don’t agree with a lot of what she says. Her friendship with that gross wiki leaks guy. And other stuff, but she is a victim of sexual assault. Victims often internalize shame and blame others. She’s wrong and that is her cross to bare.
Women who financially benefit from misogyny and sexism, which is how Anderson made a living, will always be doormats for men and do their bidding.
There are ‘virgins’ who blame women for sex crimes (and other bad male behaviors) all the time, and ‘whores’ who don’t. The stances of Amber Rose, Belle Knox, and Mariko Passion on sex crimes and victim-blaming are far more progressive than what Susan Brownmiller, Mayim Bialik, and Sinead O’Connor have spewed about these topics in recent years.
You mean the Sinead O’Connor who was one of the first to publicly address the abusive male dominated Catholic Church? The same one who was trashed by “sex positive” Madonna for doing that?
Yep. The same Sinead O’Connor who called out sexual abuse in the Catholic Church is also the same Sinead O’Connor who is complicit in rape culture by using her platform on more than one occasion to actively promote the idea that women trigger men into raping through their physical appearance choices, along with the idea that sex workers are less than. Sad! Right?
The point is that any woman can be guilty of this kind of misogyny and victim-blaming, regardless of clothing and sexual choices.
Thank you! I just can’t with all the not-so-subltle SWERFiness in the responses. In my experience, the women who make the most noise about women needing to put some clothes on and keep a nickel between their knees are the ones doing most of the victim-blaming, at least 80% of the time. How is this becoming about “what do you expect from a thot?”
She’s a washed up has been and is turning crazy like Kirstie Alley
What she doesn’t understand is that women are careful most every day of their life and sensitive to the violence against them. We are raised to watch what we wear, say, to not walk alone, stay in groups, don’t go down that dark alley, watch your drink etc every day of our lives to prevent violence against us in this rape culture.
Despite living in this state of mind our whole lives, we may have moments where we unknowingly walk into a snake pit or think we can survive the snake pit without getting bit. Rape culture in America is NOT women’s fault.
I can’t help but laugh at all the enlightened BS Pamela Anderson spews out because her crazy ego makes her think she is qualified to give life advice to the public and victims of sexual assault cuz she was on Baywatch and got plastic surgery and some horrible 90’s tattoo. Stay in your lane you idiot
It sounds to me like she is a survivor who is bitter.
In France you have supposed intellectuals defending the rape culture as seduction and collegiality (I kid you not), worrying about the men and mourning the loss of what they considered France’s wonderful workplace culture (for dudes).
At least Pam is transparently dim-witted.
Remember the “droit du seigneur” bullshit when the Strauss Kahn scandal hit?
… and the “détroussage de domestique”, i.e. the servant class are your sexual playthings – this from purported political liberals.
French culture is way ahead in terms of the parenting and abortion issues, but a decade or two behind the US regarding sexual dynamics (power, consent, and limits and accountability for men).
She’s basically perpetrating the idea that victims share responsibility with their attackers. Ugh.
C’mon people, consider the source. Pam has spent her entire life in a series of abuse relationships, been valued solely for her appearance and “sex symbol” status, and had any notion of healthy boundaries destroyed repeatedly. She’s also had well documented drug and alcohol issues, almost certainly as a form of self medication. What, exactly, do you expect from her? This is a pretty classic way for her to retain a sliver of control over her own life and experiences and a way to distance herself from the pain she’s endured. She’s been treated as an object her whole life and has dealt with abuse on a level that most of us can barely imagine. Of course she would see things this way.
She’s an incredibly damaged person and her opinions are a product of her own terrible experiences and warped worldview. That she is like this is not surprising or even newsworthy, WHY she is like this is far more to the point. This is the end result of valuing women as sex objects and not as people. This is what you get.
Thank You!!!
There are quite a lot of postings which do really roast Pam Anderson for what she said without considering her history which provides a particular context for her statements. She was abused and what she said about sticking to safety rules / common sense does give her control and enables her to process the abuse.
Such a point of view might simply be Pam Anderson’s survival tactic.
One might point out that trashing sex crimes survivor Pam Anderson like that might even indicate a disregard for the victims of sex crimes and their survival tactics.
Very true Wren. She was taught from a scarily young age that her body existed for men and that she was an object. Very very sad and tragic.
This is why we should do away with beauty pageants. They glorify women as image-bodies first and intelligent beings second.
THANK YOU! All of this! I was scrolling down, waiting for someone to say it. Pam Anderson has admitted to having lived through a childhood of trauma and sexual abuse , and she has said that’s why she connects so much to animals because innocent animals were what taught her about trust. She spent her 20s and 30s treated like a sexual commodity by the whole world, and lived through several high profile, probably toxic relationships.
I think her comments have to be considered through the view of her damaging experiences, and she deserves compassion, not condemnation.
Geez, people are harsh.
I’m not surprised by what she said. She did say this earlier this year in February.
“Pamela Anderson plans to help men who are falsely accused of rape find justice.
The former “Baywatch” actress announced her new cause on the Russian television show “The Underground.” She said the move came out of her support of WikiLeaks founder Julian Assange in the wake of rape allegations against him in Sweden.
“Sweden has these very progressive laws against sexual crimes,” Anderson said. “It’s almost too progressive, it’s almost paralyzing. I’m going to actually start campaigning for men who have been victims of being accused of rape when they haven’t actually done anything.”
“We all of course gravitate toward vulnerable people and we consider that to be women and children first and foremost, which is important of course,” she said, “but there’s also a lot of men who are in a vulnerable situation and politically bullied.”
That is not surprising considering the fact that she’s friends with and dating Julian Assange who is a rapist and her ex’s are drug addicts wife beaters and more.
Emmett Till. Was he not a victim? What if she does advocate for those few instances of falsely accused men? Does everything have to be so binary? She can’t advocate for women, children, and some men , too?
Did Anderson even read the things some of these victims have written about Harvey? Many of them were lured under a false pretense of more than one person being present in the hotel room with Harvey and then to their shock and dismay, it was just him. I do think women need to listen to that inner voice that says, “this situation doesn’t seem right.”, but many of them were young and maybe naive. It’s not their fault he is a predator and scumbag…
I cannot understand the dichotomy of her persona vs. her inane opining. Why is she not showing solidarity with ALL women who have been routinely sexually harassed and assaulted (me too BTW)? Why is she not seeing that women shouldn’t have to be constantly vigilant and fearful? Why can’t she understand that this should not still be happening in today’s society? Pam made herself into a wet-dream fantasy, a walking embodiment of sleaze. It may be that her early assaults traumatized her into feeling that her looks and body were the only things she had to offer but Christ on a Cracker honey, you’re long past your naive youth and have seen and experienced the worst. Get on the bus and join all women in ending this terrorism.
I’ve noticed a pattern of older (50 or older) women taking this stance. Maybe this is a generation gap, women who came of age during a different era, with different social conditioning. Certainly not ALL feel this way, many are woke. As for Pam, she is a victim herself, even worse a childhood victim, so she probably can’t see the forest from the trees. It clearly demonstrates why victims are revictimized (she chose bad partners etc.). It’s important not to blame her, either.
I’m not a Pam fan in general but I think I understand why she said this: She had already been abused: She had the knowledge base to know that something wasn’t right and she wisely declined to put herself in that position again: But what she probably hasn’t considered is that most of these women (thankfully) DIDN’T have that history: Even if they had an inkling that something wasn’t quite right they probably didn’t have the knowledge to handle the situation and thus became victims: I’m not standing up for her comments but I can see her side to an extent:
How can a victim of rapes like Pamela Anderson blame other victims’behavior ?
It’s actually very common. A lot of victims tend to blame themselves, hence other victims. It’s part the abuse cycle.
May I suggest some pity for Mrs Anderson. Her idea that you simply have to stick to the “safety rules” might be her strategy to process and deal with the abuse. She might think that: “As long as I stick to the safety rules it won’t happen again.” It might be her way to feel somewhat safe again. Consider that she has been abused since she was a child. Have some pity and be gentle.
She is wrong, of course, safety rules won’t stop monsters like Weinstein. Nothing wrong with safety rules but they don’t always help.
I will just add that Pam has been sexually abused by a woman as well. She seems to have had very few relationships in which she wasn’t violated.
I think the worst part of her opinion is that it seems that she doesn’t know anything about the industry. Sure, in other jobs someone inviting you to their hotel to discuss business would be a little suspicious, but it’s not too rare in the entertainment industry, especially because people are traveling all over. And even then, at most you’d think the guy might try to make a pass, you’re not expecting to be attacked by a well known person. Harvey assaulted people in his own offices, should they have known better too?
Oh dear. I like Pam for her animal advocacy work but she needs to keep zipped on this one. I remember reading an interview (can’t remember if it was Hugh Hefner) describing Hugh Hefner going up to her at a party and squeezing a boob and Pam keeping her smile frozen in place and not reacting. Is that common sense?
I get what she’s saying about minimizing personal risk as best you can. If you hear stories about someone, it would be prudent to not put yourself in a potentially bad sitiation. She said that it was known there were certain people you did not let yourself be alone in a hotel room with. And what she said was said by so many – they questioned going up to his hotel room. Some went, some didn’t. She was saying don’t put yourself in a potential situation. She could have phrased it better, absolutely. Her sentiment I agree with, just not the victim blamingness of her wording.
I do t think her intention was to victim blame, I think it was more about awareness and if you’ve “heard” rumors about certain people to be pro-active for your safety. I really don’t think her intentions were bad. Unfortunately this is such a raw subject that keeps getting worse and worse, it seems there are no right ways to analyze it. For anyone who’s been abused, I hope you find peace.
Has everyone lost their minds? For those of you talking about being “proactive”, have you forgotten that it doesn’t change your chances? You can refuse to drink with men, never meet alone with them, dress in a burqa and STILL BE RAPED. There is no preventing rape. I know. I was raped. My closest friends have been raped. My mother has been raped. No one story is the same, not one thing would have prevented it for us. Anyone, anytime, anywhere can rape you. This prevention language lulls you into a false sense of security and will only harm those of us who have survived, as well as hamper your recovery if you are so unlucky to suffer that fate.
How do you stop rape? Education and societal change. It will not stop until rape is recognized for the serious, damaging, unacceptable crime that it is. Rape is only prevented by a rapist never raping. The end.
PAMELA umm no . Your rep speaks for itself that is all I will say. HW was a bully and so was Matt L. I can’t go through the whole list. But when you go into a hotel room to meet with a producer and your agent set it up you may know its kinda funny but that still doesn’t give anyone the right to try to rape you or expose themselves to you. A few of these women had no idea he was gonna do what he did, ie Gwen Paltrow. When you speak please know what you are talking about.
Her own life experience has taught her nothing,which officially makes her bankrupt of everything that makes one a worth while human being. I will grab my popcorn to watch the karma wheel roll down the hill on what is left of her career.
That’s a sick way to look at someone who’s been a victim of abuse. How can you advocate for victims of abuse by abusing victims?
Anderson is a survivor of so much sexual abuse herself and in her second statement she also said that of course no victim is ever to be blamed and that it is always the predators fault.
Sorry but i guess I am the minority. I see nothing wrong with what she said about using your head and protecting yourself. She did not sound like she was so-call blaming the victim. We all know who the blame fall on. The thing is here people what to walk around on egg shells about this topic. Women must learn how to protect themselves from scums