Before the Sh-thole Dictator was a racist douche yesterday, one of the big stories was that Megyn Kelly is pro-fat-shaming. Seriously. Megyn Kelly has had an easier time of it over the past month, with Matt Lauer out at the Today Show. It’s pretty clear, to me, that two things can be true at once. One, that Megyn Kelly is awful, just stand-alone awful. And two, that Matt Lauer was gunning for her and that he was criticizing her in the press (as an anonymous source) and trying to kneecap her professionally. Both things can be true: Megyn Kelly can get bad press for being awful and she can get bad press because an arrogant misogynist predator hated her.
So, Megyn was doing a segment on her Today hour about “Fit Mom” Maria Kang, the woman who posted a photo of her fit body with the caption “what’s your excuse?” As Megyn and Maria spoke, Megyn talked about how she kept weight off when she was in law school. Megyn said: “Some of us want to be shamed! When I was in law school, I was gaining weight, I said to my stepfather, ‘If you see me going into that kitchen one more time, you say, ‘Where you going, fat ass?’ And it works!” Here’s the video – the comment comes along towards the end of the video, skip ahead to the 5-minute mark if you don’t want to watch the whole thing.
This is a mess. Maria Kang is still a mess and she’s still judging women for not having her genetics or mental health or physical health. And Megyn Kelly, this is just terrible.
Also: Megyn is trying to rebound from this newscycle by publicly fighting with her NBC bosses – she’s apparently trying to do an interview with Catt Sadler. NBC Universal owns E!, so Megyn would be doing an interview with a woman who would be publicly criticizing the company on their own airwaves. Go to CBS, Catt!
Photos courtesy of WENN.
She was never a fit at NBC. Pay off her contract and bring Tamron Hall back!
YES!! Thank you. I wholeheartedly agree. Bring Tamron back. Ann Curry as well! Give them here hour.
Fat shaming in most cases has the opposite effect. In her case she probably only gained a few pounds and was never treated horribly by society, so her self esteem didn’t take such a hit.
She’s like a time machine that only goes backward.
Can we ferret shame her?
She’s really terrible at what she’s trying to do. I wouldn’t begrudge her of doing what she loves, but if tv journalism is her ‘calling,’ she needs to deliver only. She’s terrible with interviews and massaging Q and A. Also, she needs to take out anything requiring subjective interjection… it’s cringeworthy with her.
Fire her. She has no business bringing her “Jesus is white” type of ignorance to NBC. Not to mention, who in the world thinks it’s appropriate for a stepfather to be looking at a stepdaughter’s body in the way she describes? Awful.
Santa is white what?
https://www.alternet.org/media/megyn-kelly-ridiculous-moments
There was a whole discussion on national TV about the race of a make believe character? I know he’s supposed to be based on Saint Nicholas who is white and all that, but Santa is fictional. He might as well be purple. This woman is a moron.
But even if you look at the origins of Saint Nicholas, he isn’t white in the way she thinks he is/was.https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Saint_Nicholas
Pardon my ignorance, but Saint Nicholas was Greek so bang on white. In what other way can someone be white?
2 things. David Sedaris has a short story called “6 to 8 black men” about Christmas santa is viewed in other countries. Joe Rogan has a funnt take on how santa as the jolly man in red and white is really because a popular shroom is red, white, and trips you hard. You want to laugh hard read those…
And 2nd… she prompted and welcomes the shaming. Unless someone prompts it, it’s never ok to do that. She’s so stupid.
Yeah I hate her since she claimed a 12 year old girl deserved to be thrown by the police.
*looks around, arms folded*
Okay. Who forgot to set the timer on this one? Fess up and I won’t call Kelly Clarkson over…
lol nice call back
We need a like button! Two thumbs up!
I still don’t understand how people forgot so quickly that this woman is kind of rotten and shady
I’ve never forgotten. I have a visceral reaction when I see her or hear her voice. Can’t stand her. They should kick her to the curb.
God help me if I ever get to that age and am that stupid.
You will get to ‘that’ age, and if you’re acknowledging her stupidity with acumen and worry, you’ll never be clueless. Well until you get that, THAT age lol.
Wow, she was obviously raised to depend on whatever looks she had, instead of a brain. No compassion to others, insight or caring for other women. She has been taught to view them as competitors, not equals. She keeps giving out the wrong outdated messages. NBC needs this?
To be honest, sometimes she is right. I don’t agree with being cruel to people and I certainly don’t agree with giving your opinion to someone just because i.e. just saying to someone, you look awful or your hair is bad, but it can be very easy for people to become desensitised to problem areas in their life like excessive drinking, smoking and eating and sometimes those honest conversations are very helpful.
I am not a supporter of the ‘fat beauty movement’ and plus size model movement. Of course I agree that beauty comes in all forms and we need to show diversity in terms of beauty, but we shouldn’t endorse obesity as healthy or desirable, just as we shouldn’t endorse models who have to starve or develop eating disorders as an ideal. To me, it’s just the pendulum swinging to another extreme. I do think people should respect, love and be grateful of their bodies regardless of how they look but that also means not harming it into being too skinny or slim and not accepting obesity as a desirable norm. It isn’t and it shouldn’t be encouraged.
People ideally should be supported in losing weight and gaining self-respect and self-love but I know sometimes in my own life, those off-hand comments have actually sparked real change in me and I think that’s true for a great many people.
yeah i am actually in complete agreement with you. i wanted to come here to say that i had a similar conversation with my brother after i’d lost a lot of weight after gaining 60 lbs over 3 years. i told him to call me out if he either saw i was gaining weight or gorging in a way that wasn’t normally how he sees me consume my meals/treats….and for me, it definitely worked. not necessarily because it was shaming me but highlighting and snapping to my attention a problem that i wasn’t seeing for myself.
my thing is, yeah if someone asks their own parent, sibling, friend or spouse to keep them in check in whatever way that works for them, that’s fine. it works for some and it doesn’t for others.
I see a difference between people who gained weight in a short period of time ( especially later in life) and people who were fat for a very long time ( especially as kids and teenagers). When your self esteem is already established it’s easier to deal with it.
Yes I feel exactly the same way 🙂 Family members can be very useful for such discussions because if you have a healthy relationship with them, you know that they will handle it respectfully and kindly. It is difficult because such conversations should be had with tact and respect and sometimes people put their foot in it like for example if someone is unwell and on medication, but certainly shame can be a powerful impetus for change.
I remember watching a documentary about a teenager who was obese and refused to work. She would not even take her own plate to the kitchen. She went to her GP and they said ‘there is nothing medically wrong with you, you are just lazy and need to join the gym and change your eating habits.’
The girl broke into tears and said he had been cruel and hurtful BUT his comment was the truth and this young girl needed to hear the truth rather than excuses for her behaviour. This was simply enabling her. If someone has gained weight because they are poorly or have gone through a hard time, they need extra compassion and support but some people slip through to an extreme where they genuinely don’t see their behaviour as dangerous or wrong and this is where shame and honesty can be powerful tools.
Where do I start? Firstly, we all have different “set” points, both emotionally and physically. Physically, we have genetics that are set at whatever body shape helps us to function neurologically. I agree, some of us overeat, but WHY. ONE, because we may be trying to look like Fit Mom ( I am a fitness teacher, and don’t overeat, but have NEVER had her body, ever) We may starve, the BAM, we’re NATURALLY hungry after trying to have a cookie cutter body type. TWO, we may eat to “feel” better. How about if you ask your family to be be an EMOTIONAL support, and instead of inviting criticism, ask for love and kind words? At age 50,, I look back and realize my bigger thighs, tush and long torso were just ahead of their time; I dieted for years and self criticized to have the no butt body that was pushed in formative years of the 70s 80s. 90s. So there you go- NO ONE is promoting “obese” beauty, but this is the era to embrace where we are and to know ourselves as unique and Beautiful.
So what weight is fine? I’m so tired of these discussions. Maybe if we just left people the f*ck alone and stopped discussing these things ad nauseam, including judgment, people would be happier and healthier. We all have unhealthy vices but for some reason, nobody ever gets “health shamed” for being a miserable ass. It’s my life and my body and I wish people would mind their own damn business.
Off-hand comments have given me massive body image and food issues. Leave people alone.
Well, in my opinion, if a person is obese, that is serious and they need help. You get some people who become mollycoddles and enabled and they never change. Also I think it’s important to say I don’t agree that strangers on the street should comment on weight/hair/appearance or anything else. That’s rude and not needed. But people close to you should be able to check in and say, ”look, what’s going on, I’m worried about your health and think we should have a chat about it.”
Food can be an addiction just like alcohol, drugs and cigarettes and it can destroy a persons health and life and is a real issue in many countries. We aren’t talking about someone putting on a few pounds and not looking like a runway model but pussy-footing around people usually doesn’t help.
People need to be able to have direct and honest conversations without being accused of ‘shaming’ a person, especially if that person is a family member that they love and care about.
My dad has recently stopped working and has started drinking most nights. He has always been slim and fit and was starting to gain weight around his middle. In the past, he had a funny turn with his heart. I sat down with him and said, “dad, since you’ve stopped working, I’ve noticed you’re drinking a lot and have gained weight and I’m worried about you.” He has now stopped drinking every night and joined a gym. Turns out he was feeling down about the life change of no longer working. If you love and know someone, these discussions can be very helpful.
That is great for you and your dad. It wasn’t about food with him though. Clearly, there was an event in his life that led to some unhealthy behavior and he course-corrected after you mentioned it. That is NOT the same as people who’ve battled weight and food issues for years, often decades.
Trust me. They’ve been told. And it wasn’t strangers who told me. Repeatedly.
Most people with serious weight issues never lose the weight and if they do, it doesn’t stay off. For many reasons. Your brain chemistry being one of them. EDs are rampant in our society. Leave. Them. Alone. You either make a change because you want to or not. Or maybe you can’t.
I am with littlemissnaghty. Leave people alone. There are studies that kids by the age of 3 already know thin is ‘good’ and fat is ‘bad.’ Like, the message is loud and clear and believe me, fat people know thin is ideal as they have heard it all their life.
Here is the thing though –
Shaming has never been proven to work for any health condition. Do we make people with anorexia better by telling them “You are so thin that You are ugly and unhealthy and need to eat now?” No! And we don’t tell drinkers or drug abusers or addicts – “you are nasty, filthy, worthless because you use drugs, don’t you know you are killing yourself?”
Every human has value regardless of their health status, or what they look like. It makes me sad to hear there are people who don’t believe that.
And I know there are therapists who do use so called “tough love” methods with people with anorexia or substance use issues, but that doesn’t mean they are effective.
So just because Suki and Megyn Kelly enjoy being shamed, it would actually put them in the minority.
As I mentioned on a post before, where people said sizes 12 and above are bigger than clothes should be made – what about the Venus of willendorf? Why do she and other sculptures like her exist, from thousands of years back? Clearly someone once thought to make a sculpture celebrating her type of figure, and there wasn’t fast food, or cars, of GMOs, or whatever else people want to blame obesity on. It is a complex condition.
Why is it so hard for us to accept that fat bodies have existed since many thousands of years ago and can be just as natural as extremely thin people? Evolution has us all mostly fitting in a bell curve, which means there are going be some outliers. and a diversity of body types helps ensure survival of the species.
My friend is rather thin and has to eat 4000 calories a day to maintain her weight, whereas my other friend has to eat 2000 to maintain hers and she is average sized. A biologist explained to me – the rather thin person would be more in trouble in a famine, than the person who eats 2000 calories a day.
But we celebrate thin privilege, and the thinner friend gets many compliments even though she was just born with a fast metabolism.
She downs cokes, movie theater popcorn, candy, and it is a full time job for her to keep weight on.
It is just as horrid to shame people who are extremely thin as it is to make fun of fat people.
You do not know people’s medical history, you don’t know their health by looking at them, it is not your business why anyone is the weight /size/shape they are.
I have struggled on off with anorexia since middle school and I am not for unhealthy extremes. I was once on an extreme and I was unhealthy. It is a proven fact that obesity and emaciation are unhealthy and can lead to serious medical issues. I can acknowledge this and I was emaciated at one point. We need to stop advocating for unhealthiness under the guise of body positivity.
My family told me I wasnt pretty when I was sick and they weren’t lying. You better not tell someone with anorexia they look good emaciated because that will only fuel the fire. Telling us we don’t look good is a better route because the illness is trying to convince us that we look much better.
@llamas I am so sorry you suffered with anorexia. I know a lot of people who suffered with anorexia as well, and I am speaking more towards what works long term. Telling someone “you don’t look pretty” might get them to inpatient and refeeding, but relapse is right around the corner if the person doesn’t receive some serious counseling to address why they developed the anorexia in the first place, medical help to get their body back on track, and a dietitian to make sure they reset their relationship with food.
Any person who is struggling with their weight – no matter what their weight, it is the thoughts that matter and if you value yourself based on your size that is problematic – needs that level of support, in my opinion.
And so What people with anorexia or other weight issues need to hear, in my opinion, is we love you no matter what you look like. Even if you are ugly ( parriarchical word mostly applied to women) or unhealthy or obese, you still have value and are deserving of love and respect and compassion and I want to help you get better. That’s not what Megyn Kelly or Suki are saying – they think weight has a simple fix and it doesn’t.
The same people who think obesity is just about willpower probably think anorexia is just getting someone to eat a burger. Nope.
Ugh but also I mistyped – people with weight issues don’t need your comments, period. Anyway.
+1 LittleMissNaughty. Preach!
“Family members can be very useful for such discussions because if you have a healthy relationship with them, you know that they will handle it respectfully and kindly.”
Hahahahahahahaha … Working with athletes, and also being a human who lives in the world, the number of people, women especially, that are truly and completely f’ed up by what a family member has said about their body is too high to count. In fact, it’s almost always a “helpful” comment by a “loved one” that’s cited as the initial impetus that leads to body dysmorphia and a host of other self-esteem and body-related issues.
And, no, I don’t think you can, by definition, have a “healthy” relationship with a family member who fat shames you. It’s a completely ridiculous position to take and the whole idea that the problem in our society is that people who are overweight just don’t get enough negative attention to realize it flies in the face of objective reality on every front.
So what is the solution to obesity? How should you broach the subject with an obese child, teenager or partner? If your husband is becoming obese, you should ignore that? At present, it is a mix of glorified and reviled in equal measure in the media. Why would a constructive discussion be dangerous? More people are obese now than ever and the consequences are huge.
I think this is why education about health and nutrition is so important, so that people can sift through nasty, bullying comments and also know when there weight truly is a problem. If you are obese, it is a problem.
@ Suki-If you live in the US you’d know that american food corporations have put so much sugar in the food supply and have changed the biochemestry of it’s citizens to the point that traditional weight loss methods don’t work. It’s not calorie in/out anymore. There are also literal “food deserts” in non white areas of the US where you literally have to drive waaay out of your neighbourhood to find fresh vegies/fruits regularly. It’s not a just stop eating fatso cure.
No one is saying you ignore obeseity, what we are saying is you don’t get to treat people like shit because they are fat. There are worse things than being fat and becoming a fat shaming person who has no empathy is one of them. People like to hide their cruelty under the guise of “health”-we see you.
Studies show sleep apnea can play a major role in obesity. If you stop breathing at night, you need more food to stay awake, but also there is a cascade of hormonal issues that happens if you don’t catch the sleep apnea in time where your body will gain fat to offset the stress of not sleeping.
Crazy huh? You can take two people who eat the same, but one will maintain their weight, while the other will struggle – because of a factor entirely out of their control.
If you tell that person with sleep apnea to diet and exercise, it will make a minor difference, but in the Long term not really as their body is still not sleeping! Their body won’t use food the same as a person who does sleep, but they will hear that they are lazy and dumb and blame themselves.
Obesity is complex and multi factorial and that is just one of many examples how the body can gain weight in a way that is not in your control.
If your husband is gaining weight and you are worried, I would honestly get them blood tests and look at sleep apnea and their drinking /stress levels, as drinking notoriously contributes to sleep apnea /poor sleep and weight gain.
There is a compassionate way to respond and I am not sure telling them “your body is a problem” ever helps.
I will repeat this over and over again. Leave them the hell alone. This constant focus on food and weight IS the problem. Children AND adults are usually triggered into overeating, undereating, EDs etc. By events or, yes, comments. If your child is obese, that is most likely on you. Telling the kid they’re fat sounds super helpful. Cook healthy meals, don’t buy candy, make sure they play outside and DO NOT mention it. They are growing. Same with teenagers. Support them. And if my partner told me I’m fat, I’d be single faster than he could blink. I’m not allowing this sh*t in my life anymore. MY body, my issues.
As HK9 said, this is – in most cases – also a matter of the culture. Maybe if food corporations were better regulated (or at all), you guys wouldn’t be in so much trouble as a country. This is SO much bigger (pun intended) than just some dude being obese.
Weight is the second most inherited factor after eye color. 95% of people who lose 15 pounds or more gain it back in 24 months or less, usually ending up at a higher weight than their original, pre-weight-loss norm. Two women of equal heights and similar weights can require vastly different (up to 40%-50%, in studies I’ve read) amounts of net calories to maintain the same body mass. As women age, their metabolism slows at a rate up to 10x faster than men.
Are those excuses? No. But genetics are a real, absolute and unequivocal factor, as are the prevalence and cheapness of fast and other processed foodstuffs, the relative expense and inaccessibility of fresh, wholesome food, the decreased physical labor and dependence on motorized transportation of modern society, 21st century work and school schedules, etc.
If you have a metabolism that allows you to cut out a glass of wine or a latte a day and drop 10-15 pounds over the course of a few months, then feel blessed, because you’re amongst the lucky. That doesn’t mean the same applies to everyone else.
My (half) sister works out everyday, eats fairly healthy and runs marathons on the reg, yet she’s overweight; probably medically classified as obese. I know I weigh significantly less than her — though still more than I’d like — but I also know that the times I’ve gone to the gym with her, she has kicked my ass. Anyone who says I’m “healthier” than she is because I’m thinner is full of something, and it isn’t helpfulness.
Bascically, someone else’s weight, even that of a loved one, is, unless an imminent health crisis, none of your damn business. And if it is a health crisis, get professional help, as you would for any other medical emergency, don’t wade in with your unsolicited, untested and usually unwanted “helpful” input. “But I’m worried about your health,” is a lame excuse for cruelty.
I’ve never met a woman, be she a size 2 or a size 22, who isn’t fully and completely aware what society at large thinks about her body; how it values or dismiss her because of what it looks like. This isn’t a topic anyone in 2018 America needs to be “reminded” about.
@littlemissnaughty – I too have dumped people who comment on my weight, I don’t exist to be their arm candy or for others to admire them, or to fit their conception of sexy. I exist as a person.
Bodies change, they get wrinkly, they get saggy, they get age spots and they gain and lose weight, and eventually – they get sick at some point. If a partner – male or female – cannot accept that, it says to me they have some very unrealistic ideas about their partner. If they are nitpicking when I am healthy and in good shape now but have just gone up a dress size or they just saw some cellulite because it is my time of the month – what will they be like when I am actually sick.
Men in particular think of women as their property and it disgusts me.
@S your comments on this thread and Kelly Clarkson thread are so on. Nodding, loving, wishing I could star your fire.
Fat people know they are fat and don’t need to hear it from a thin person out of “concern”. It just makes them feel worse and does not help anything. If fat shaming actually worked then everyone would be thin because Western society prioritizes being thin above all and beauty standards exclude anyone who is over a size 8.
If you are a parent or a spouse, then you can help by providing healthy food and opportunities for activity without being condescending. But shaming will not help.
Read Hunger by Roxane Gay and you will see the damage that is done with fat shaming.
Agreed S!
I was always fairly slim, gained about 10 lbs my first year in university. I knew it. I wasn’t oblivious. I had been an athlete all through high school, I knew the exercise and diet I needed to get back to my previous size.
My father made a very off hand remark to me one evening, looking me over abd saying ‘well, you’re not fat, but you need to get more toned.”
This. From an overweight middle aged dad to his 19 year old daughter.
I lost the weight. Because I wanted to do it for myself. It’s been over 20 years and I’ve never forgotten his words and the anger I feel towards him whenever I think about that time.
My dad is still very overweight. Whenever he sees me, about 3 times a year, I’m guaranteed he will comment on my weight and appearance. I’m ‘commended’ for staying slim. It still makes me really angry.
@Jordana, It’s possible we have the same father. I got into an Ivy League college. I worked with and for some of the most prominent individuals in my industry. I married a guy who treats me great and whom I love dearly. I gave him three grandchildren who I’d like to think are smart, cute, sweet and talented. All that and nothing — NOTHING — has ever made my dad more proud than when I lost weight after college. Ugh.
Oh and, the idea that “pendulum has swung too far in the other direction” gets ALL the eye rolls.
It’s exactly the same as those that claim the “me too” movement has gone “too far” … Umm. NOPE!
So, on the one hand we have 100+ years of unrealistic beauty standards that have grown exponentially more extreme, unattainable AND homogenous in recent decades. While actual bodies have grown increasingly larger, our societal beauty expectations have actually trended increasingly thinner for women (where size 4-6 used to be “ideal,” it’s now 0-2) , and vastly more muscular for men.
Don’t believe me, take a look at just about any ’80s movie or beauty magazine and you’ll see the actresses and models considered the most beautiful are actually bordering on what is now referred to as “plus size” by the industry (plus size models start at size 8, by the way) and the men regarded as hunks, who today would be cast as the loser/nerd based on their undeveloped (a.k.a. normal) physique.
So, all of that is up against five or six, at most, prominent, actually-plus-sized women who have written books, or publicly talked about accepting their bodies at any size and, yeah, I’m pretty clear on which message still dominates our national conversation.
Don’t be disingenuous. if you were underweight no one would say a word. You know it and so do I. If you comment on something that’s none of your business you get what ever is coming to you. I’ve lost weight, but you think you’ve got the right to come up to me and tell me I’m fat and treat me badly because I’m not a size 0. I’m going to tell you something, you don’t. Not you, not my family NO. ONE.
Also, I would never go up to someone and comment on their appearance or anything else, but I don’t agree that it is always a bad thing if a person has a moment of self-realisation and changes.
@ Suki, since people live in their own bodies on a daily basis, they don’t need you for self-realization. They know they are fat and will find the solutions they need in their own time.
HK9, not true about people leaving you alone if you’re thin. Ten years ago I lost a lot of weight and at 117 lbs at 5 ft 6 and a size 2-4 I wondered if people thought of me as fat. No. They didn’t. Friends began telling me I was too thin. My teenage daughter was terrified. I ignored them all. They were honest and I just didn’t want to hear it. Flash forward and now I’m forty lbs overweight and wondering why no one is being honest with me. Today I got on the scale for the first time in ages and was absolutely mortified. My first reaction was “My husband is a nurse and my daughter a health and fitness fanatic. Why didn’t they tell me I’m fat?” But then I thought of all those times they asked me to go to the gym with them and I refused. This was a wake up call. I’ve never been so heavy and out of shape. This isn’t on anyone else. It’s on me.
Yes they would comment if you’re too thin. I know from first hand experience, strangers would stare and whisper about me.
@ Other Renee & Ilamas- Your experience is valid because it’s yours. I can also tell you though that the only time in my 46 years of living I’ve ever heard someone commenting on someone being underweight in my hearing was twice. The first was about my Mom in her doctors’ office because she has Alzheimers(& paranoia) and she had an ulcer and wasn’t eating enough, the second was about a friend who had Diabetes and couldn’t get her hormone levels straight. While it happens, it’s not common. Ask a fat person how many times someone comments on their state of being and you’ll begin to get some perspective.
And @ Rene, even though your family asked you to go to the gym, if you’re not yet in the frame of mind to receive the invitation them bringing it up won’t help. For real change to occur, it’s you who needed to realize you’d like to change your level of fitness. The opinion of others doesn’t sustain lasting change, it’s your opinion that matters
^^^ This
There was a time in my life where, following a traumatic life event, I lost so much weight, so fast, my hair fell out in clumps. The reaction from the world at large was nothing but praise for my eventually clinically underweight figure. Waking around in a listless daze, I got endless compliments on my appearance and plenty of, “I’m so jealous, how did you do it?” comments
My actual answer to that query, every single time? “I lost the will to live,” and the reaction to that was, 100% of the time, either “Ha, ha, you’re funny” or even, on at least one memorable occasion, “I wish I could lose the will to live, too!” Not one single, solitary friend, relative or stranger ever heard me say that was ever taken aback or questioned me further about my how I FELT … It was ALL about how I LOOKED.
Oh and, if fat shaming “worked,” as Kelly claims, the United States of America would be the thinnest country in the entire g-d world. Spoiler alert …
When I was super skinny in my 20s (it was just the way I was, not an eating issue) I was ALWAYS getting comments. People telling me to eat more, people asking if I was anorexic, people implying my life must be perfect because I was thin. It was tiresome. I actually saw a nutritionist for tips on how to gain weight (protein, milk…) but nothing made much difference, I just gradually increased it as I grew older.
I gained 20 pounds in the first month my oncologist put me on Tamoxifen. Despite working with a nutritionist, adhering to a strict diet, and exercising daily, the weight gain continued the entire five years I was on that drug – no, I don’t just mean I couldn’t lose that 20, I mean I continued to gain. So, Megyn can take her fat-shaming and her fat ass and move to a planet without food.
Amen sis
I am sending you continual love for all you deal with on a daily basis.
The same for my sister on that med.
And for me on psych meds.
People who fat shame are cruel as*holes
Except for the reality that criticizing people’s weight gain usually has the opposite intended psychological effect. It’s more likely to damage self-esteem and exacerbate underlying neuroses, especially for women who are raised to value their looks above other factors. Which has been proven many, MANY times over in actual scientific psychological studies, not that people like Megyn Kelley allow the facts to get in the way of their anecdotal evidence.
Obesity in the U.S. is a complex issue. It’s linked to a whole host of factors like food access/insecurity, poverty, health issues, manufacturing processes, cultural trends, and poorly distributed health care access. Some of it is a natural response to food excess, which is why Europe is seeing an increase in obesity, too. There is no specific “cure” to it beyond major cultural shifts.
I am a supporter of plus-sized models because plus size models are in real life, normal sized people. They are only plus size as models.
My height and weight ratio are not average. 5’10+ and the most I have weighed is 130 or so. Not counting pregnancy. It is genetic.
My friend who is a plus sized model is similar height but weighs more and wears a size 12 to 14. She has the same lifestyle habits I have. Healthy eater, exercise and runs with me often.
She doesn’t diet, and I don’t diet. Ok, that is two in 100 different body types and makeups.
But it is part of a job to do more than the average person, and it is unfair to put that kind of pressure on women to feel bad about themselves because of something as arbitrary as weight. It is equated with morality as if it is a moral failing to carry extra weight. That is insane and destructive thinking. Beauty is a social construct. A false idea that has no base in fact.
There are many many reasons a person may struggle with weight, and all of them are valid. Should they feel like less than because life has been difficult or their endocrine system is messed up, or they have depression or they are just built to be more physically prominent? Some people are in pain from autoimmune disorders and suffer enough self-esteem issues without having this extra burden to carry.
There is room in the world for different ideas of beauty and health. If a person is healthy and/or doing the best they can; they should not be made to feel like failures or unattractive.
We need to move beyond this and start focusing on women’s health issues and supporting each other in any phase of life we are in at the moment.
Like I have said many times. I was shamed the other way, and it hurts. It is devastating. I don’t wish that feeling on anyone else no matter if it fat shaming, skinny shaming, short shaming, tall shaming, age shaming or shame for whatever new weapon our culture can come up with to hurt women’s self-worth to keep us down.
These two women are shameful. And if I am in a full-tilt Bitch mode neither are anything to aspire to in my view.
@MagnoliaRose. Thanks. I shamed myself for the curvy body I inhabited, now celebrities get plastic curves that I tried to diet OFF for too long. Had I known then that I was Beautiful- but I was a magazine addict, and internalized that I was not white and thin…until things changed culturally. Now I’m 50 and women my age buy wrinkle free faces. I’m doing a social experiment, and you all can wish me luck. I’m using “plastic surgery money” to go back to college; so far so good, I love to feel “smart, compassionate and informed” in my 2nd century of life, because so much has changed. I learned about xenophobia, and gender fluidity, now I”m taking a class that focuses on the METOO movement. This is an experiment and away I go. Can I find fulfillment for HOW I FEEL vs HOW I FEEL I “LOOK” as an aging woman?
*Clapping for you!*
I wish women knew how beautiful they are at all ages. I am not just saying this to be kind but as an observer of people with interest in women’s views of themselves.
Women with curvy bodies are beautiful. You just are. It is like there is more woman there or something. A woman with confidence in her bigger body is a thing to behold and badass. I envy it but with a feeling of solidarity knowing it will never be me but I sure love to see it. It is telling the world I don’t have to be anything else; take it or leave it. I don’t care.
My friend’s agent is always telling her to gain another 10 lbs. So you see even then someone is saying you need to do this or that and THEN you will be perfect. It is a lie. There is no such thing as perfect because it is subjective and intangible.
So many years I have spent with women the world decided were beautiful but who didn’t feel beautiful. Or ones who were so much more than their faces or bodies but couldn’t come to terms with their inside vs. their outside. Or ones who had crap relationships or were miserable. Being skinny is not the answer to happiness. I wish I could get that across to every girl/ woman in the world. It is a lie. If it were that easy, every thin person would be deliriously joyful all the time.
I believe it is all on the inside and accepting ourselves, working and growing and turning away from patriarchal messages that break us down and tell us to hate our bodies. We have to spend most of our lives over 30, 40 and a large portion over 50. These should be great years for us. We don’t need the acceptance of men or what they think we should look like to be complete.
I like that you are studying gender and expanding the one thing no one can take from us and that is our knowledge and our experiences. We own those. This is yours.
I wish you luck and success. You have always been beautiful, and I am glad you realize it now and how arbitrary the idea truly is.
I also wanted to say. When we love someone, it is because of who they are and the way we feel about them.
Suki, I read your posts and agree with you. I can tell by your tone that you’re not suggesting that everybody should immediately go up to every overweight person they know and harass them with their unsolicited opinion. You made a valid point and were VERY clear that you weren’t talking about comments only intended to shame people.
It’s total b.s. and you are extremely up your own a** if you think the overweight person you know.. one doesn’t already know you and others think they are fat and two that anything you say will magically cause them to lose weight.
If they come to you and ask your opinion that’s one thing, otherwise mind your own f*cking business
You’re directing this at me? I’ve never told an overweight person they’re fat.
I just posted to Suki that I could see the point she was making while everyone else jumped down her throat and read things into it that weren’t there.
P.S. I hate Megyn Kelly and was agreeing with Suki, not her or the other woman.
I have fought bulemia for decades. Few people know this. My health issues are rarely anyone’s business. What is obvious to people is that my weight fluctuates. Sometimes it is just a few pounds, but sometimes a significant amount. Comments on these changes have a big impact on my state of mind.
Your supposed well-meaning, “helpful” comments are not – not to me, others like me, or people who struggle in other ways. I suggest you mind your own business and address your own faults and imperfections. I also suggest that you not involve yourself in medical and mental health matters that you are not qualified to assess or speak to.
She is 100% incorrect. You, in thinking that fat-shaming – or whatever language you would tart up your hateful little chatter in, pp – works are so far off base you landed with your bum on the floor.
Fat shaming doesn’t work. Telling people they are ugly and unattractive – even if it were true – is guaranteed to do one of three things: get you rightly ridiculed, make them shame eat or kick off a vulnerable person into an eating disorder. Say it with me, Suki, FAT SHAMING DOESNT WORK. Go look in a mirror and imagine that people spoke – what’s your window dressing word? “supportively”? – imagine people spoke to you “supportively” about your looks based shortcomings and imagine the effect that would have on you. Good day. Grow up.
Exactly, suki and her ilk are just using the health concern cover to hide what they really are.. bitches that can’t mind thier own business and like to say things to hurt people.
These are “cool girls”, right? Not only do they make sure to adhere to every beauty standard there is, they also want to be kept in line with insults! And give them out like candy! They’re so cool. I mean we could all use a man to make sure we don’t turn into lard-asses. Why do they leave us to our own devices???
She needs to go away.
How could NBC have known that a woman who’s main journalistic qualification was “blonde” and who is best known for peddling racism, authoritarianism and sexism with a wink and a smile would be problematic?
Crazy, right? If only there had been some way of knowing what her previous work was like. Like, I don’t know, years of recorded TV or something.
Bahaha! Indeed.
That was so painful to watch.
Now she projects herself as a “leader”.
Fat-shaming is cruel.
Megyn … I don’t even know what to think of her. She’s just … awkward. I’m honestly not even sure why she got into television in the first place, she just doesn’t seem like she enjoys it or like it enjoys her. The other woman, Maria, ugh whatever. I’m 5’2″. I gain and lose at the drop of a hat, so I’ve been fat-shamed and skinny-shamed (and yes, it’s true, skinny-shaming is better, for some reason fat shaming is a humiliating experience and no amount of “are you anorexic?” can really compare to being called “fat ass” or being asked if you’re pregnant. But I’m so over this obsession with women’s bodies and people feeling like they have some authority over that. We all have mirrors, so we know how we look. And it comes down to genetics, motivation, basic things like that. And while I like to make sure I’m relatively fit and active, it’s absolutely NOT a goal of mine to have washboard abs. That’s my excuse – idgaf.
As a new mom of a 2 year old and 5 month old, GTFO with this crap!!!! I could hardly watch that. I am not sleeping, we are all fighting colds, it’s abot -20 outside and I’m trying to potty train my 2 year old and I have a baby who only sleeps on my chest. I’m in the phase of ‘if I have one free hour I am starting a load of laundry and taking a nap!’ Sorry not sorry. It’s not an excuse, it just that looking like a supermodel at the moment isn’t my top priority! Why does she care what other people excuses or reasons are??? You do you and don’t worry about the other moms with no help or money for sitters or family close by who are just trying to survive the newborn phase.
I also want to add that I tried to give Megan a chance but her show is so painful to watch. I can’t sit through an hour of it.
@Hey There I’ve tried giving her show a chance too,it’s just on because I keep my TV on NBC during the day and she makes me anxious ,nervous,and I’m cringing because I’m embarrassed for her. I don’t see how she can make it through this season,awful plain awful.I read your above comment too,we are in blizzard weather too for the next few days keep yourself and the babies warm and safe🙂And go easy on yourself,the kids grow and next thing you know you can sleep again!I know how hard it is sometimes
@spicecake38, thank you. I have to say the most difficult part for myself, staying at home with the babies, is the no sleeping. Lol. I can count on one hand the number of days I have had 6 hours of uninterrupted sleep since I was 8 months pregnant with my 2 year old! But like you said, they get bigger and I can sleep again someday. YAY! It really is amazing what a few hours of good sleep can do for the brain!!!! Back to Megan’s show….I can watch some serious garbage TV happily but this show is painful. She is awful at it. How on Earth did she get in this business?!?!
She was okay at delivering news but is just not good relating to people AT ALL😆
It gets better. Believe me.
You are doing what you can. It is enough.
That part about it’s ok to have a glass of wine or a latte rubbed me the wrong way. Did she have an ED at some point? A glass of wine has about 120cals? A latte about the same? There is nothing wrong with a glass of wine (even two, but shush). Or a latte. Not considering particular health situations – diabetes, alcoholism, or drinking and driving etc.
“I work full-time and I don’t have a nanny or a chef” kind of rubbed me the wrong way too. Very rehearsed. That does not mean she doesn’t have help. Maybe she works from home? That would make a difference.
How about food portions, the severely over processed foods starting in school diners (if Jamie Oliver was right), chemicals that provoke addiction, long hours low pay and availability of convenience food, lack of education on what is healthy food, prominence of Hollywood models beauty types, IGramable foods as standard and sense of not doing enough. I could go on.
I saw an interview with MKang once and she made a good point about eating and working out for health and she gave the example of her mother. But most women with just one, not three under five, *cannot* afford the lifestyle Kang promotes. Or promoted. Said a few years ago she was a full time mother who managed to work too, I don’t know what. And that the hub worked outside the house. No way could she do that without help. I am afraid that her message however good is unatainable for the masses. And her target is “the American mother”. Just shut up, please.
Ugh. I wish she’d just go away. Nothing likable about her at all.
I have yet to meet anyone “fat” who wasn’t already EXCRUCIATINGLY aware that they were “fat” or over weight. Meghan is beyond tone deaf. Jesus.
Seriously. I gained fifty pounds as a result of thyroid disease and a GI disorder. Trying to get rid of even half of it in my thirties has been a BEAST. Most people act surprised when I tell them I count calories and work out every day. Like, shockingly enough, it’s not as easy as wealthy white blonde women with endless time and resources make it out to be.
Exactly.
Society makes sure women who carry extra weight are painfully aware of it every single second of the day.
This is a feminist issue. It is about ownership of our bodies and deciding how we should conform. If it were really about health, then researchers would start trying to figure out the real reasons and stop telling someone to exercise and cut back.
Which by the way I read something interesting that underreported chronic Lyme disease can cause weight gain that won’t budge and liver problems.
A couple years ago a relative made a snide comment after my dad’s bday dinner: well, you’ve gained weight! Yeah, and at the time of the comment, I was 115 lbs and 5’3”. I was stunned.
That was unnecessary and mean. Geez, what is wrong with people.
It’s been said that fat is the last acceptable form of discrimination,and I think this might be true
OMG,yes thank you. I never knew I was fat until someone made me feel like crap about it said NO FAT PERSON EVER.
Can I just say there is a HUGE difference in saying that you love someone and you want them to have a level of health that means they will be around for a long time and calling them a Fat Ass?
What about bad nose job shaming? Will that work to fix a situation?
I see what you’re doing LOLLLLLLL.
Well, I didn’t want to be the one to say it, but that shiz is distracting. I just stare at it.
It’s all I see in MK photos.
So pinched-looking, it’s part of what makes her look like a condescending, smirking b**ch.
Okay, for the record, it’s TRUE that you can be “fat,” or “obese” and be internally healthy. Not most of the time, but there are those of us for which it is true. From the outside I look like a big fat cow and I’ve been fat shamed most of my life. I still go to the gym and workout with a trainer, and still get sneers as I walk in. At my heaviest I was 240. I’m 5’5. I decided I wanted to lose weight and get “healthy.” So I became a vegetarian. My results weren’t necessarily due to eliminating animal, but it made it pretty much impossible to eat fast food so my diet improved. I started walking, and at 210lbs walked two half-marathons. Both took me around 4 hours to complete. After all that, I still lost very little weight and have fluctuated between 200-210 for around 10 years. I didn’t go to the doctor very often even though I knew I had high blood pressure and my last labs had been a mess. Around 5 years ago decided to go back and GUESS WHAT: blood pressure normal. I had a crap ton of lab work…seriously they took so many vials of blood I had to have orange juice and a cookie before they let me leave. So many tests my very good insurance only covered part of it, I still had to shell out $800. So what were the results? EVERYTHING was perfect, right in the middle of the good range or at the bottom of a good to bad scale. Cholesterol, perfect. Glucose, perfect. Pages of levels and disease markers, perfect. And no one knows why, even with my lifestyle, why I can’t lose the weight. No metabolic or thyroid disorder, not a med side effect, nothing can be found. So maybe back off the blanket statements. The “I’m not criticizing her appearance, it’s just that she’s so unhealthy” comments. The “obese people are bad role models only because they are so unhealthy” comments are also thinly-veiled “fat shaming.”
For many, it’s only when we learn to LOVE our bodies and celebrate the magnificence of our bodies and what they can do…no matter our size…do we approach being able to think we are worthy enough to take good care of our bodies. For many who are fat shamed, their body is their enemy with which they battle daily.
Yess Karen! Fighting with my body everyday is a bitch, & i dont need a bitch to tell me Im too skinny. When i was fat , i was also ridiculed.
Off topic…I got my hair cut yesterday and I now realise it looks exactly like Megyn’s in the bottom photo (blue jacket)…..sigh.
I inadvertently lost about 10 lbs and the comments have been so uncomfortable. Like did I look like shit before? I thought I looked fine, now I’m paranoid. Don’t comment on someone’s weight, even if you think “wow, did you loose weight? You look great!” is helpful, it’s not. It just means you once thought they were fat. And it’s none of your business unless they bring it up first.
If that worked, we’d all be 110 lbs honey…
I have an example of this that is relative to my life. From about 13-20 years of age I had zits all over. I tried every cream, trick, wise tail and product known to Earth, nothing worked. Most things, in fact, made it worse. Okay here is where the examples in: total strangers telling me what products to use for my zits. Umm, at the grocery store buying fruit, random stranger says “stay away from strawberries!!! They will make your acne worse!!!” Buying shampoo, “have you tried Neutrogena grapefruit scrub? It’s why my face is so clear!” These we’re total STRANGERS. Randomly talking to me about my biggest, most painful flaw…my horrible skin. Sure I was a size 00 but there were parties I skipped because zits. Did I have the worsts acne ever, nope not even close but in my teenage mind it was world shattering. These people meant well, sure, but did they not think I already tried literally everything and that it was appropriate to bring up nonstop to me??? Like I didn’t already feel everyone was looking at my huge, red zit. The worst part is was it was nothing a cream would fix. It was sensitive skin and hormones mixed. Others who are genetically blessed often forget their prolivilage and judge. It took a few years of using special soapless soaps(you read that right) and lotions that literally have nothing in them. I can’t use anything else on my face or breakouts. I use one specific makeup on my face, or it would still be a hot mess. All the crap in the stuff was making everything worse. Oh my personal favorite is when my grandmother asked me why I never wash my face because it gives me acne. Little did she’s know I was over washing it and not using lotion because it was oily. Biggest mistake ever. So, much like dropping body weight, what works for one person, will not work for 30 others. Everyone is different!!!!
She always looks like she just smelled a bad fart.
She is one.
Haha.
She is the worst.
Well she needs to be Bitch shamed