I am not totally sure what Cristiano Ronaldo is famous for. Well, I guess it’s football, so the better statement is I’m not entirely sure why Cristiano Ronaldo is famous. I’d heard his name tossed about a few times here and there, and I’m sure part of that is because I’m an American and we don’t really do the football/soccer culture here like they do in Europe. And he is the big deal there. From what I can gather – from the auspicious sports authority The Sun, no less – Ronaldo is both talented and super hot. Well, super hot in that “he probably gets a pedicure and is waxed down there” sort of way.

Ronaldo is in the U.S. right now and hooked up with Paris Hilton. And if you weren’t a celebrity before, risking the herp with Paris will definitely make you one. It’s not like summiting some impossible mountain and you just have to try just to say you were one of the few who attempted it. Though you’d think many would be afraid to attempt it. Anyway, Ronaldo is now famous for hooking up with Paris and living to tell, which for some illogical reason means even more women are desperate to get with him. At least according to The Sun, which has some convoluted story about it. In their title it says Ronaldo hooked up with three women, but in the story he basically flirted with three women, and nothing is said about going home with any of them. That’s sort of a “Ooooh, isn’t he almost a player” type of thing.

CRISTIANO RONALDO took three sexy girls to his hotel room for a spot of dirty dancing after giving them his trademark wink. They became the latest in a string of women fans charmed by the soccer star during his US holiday — including heiress PARIS HILTON. Americans Suzanne Coppin, 32, and Allison Aimee, 26, met randy Ron 24, as he partied in his Beverly Hills hotel bar.

Allison revealed: “We had a dance-off and Cristiano excitedly said he would be the judge. We played Aerosmith’s hit Crazy and it became a sexy lapdance… . Cristiano couldn’t take his eyes off me. I felt the sparks fly as I leaned into him. Next it was Suzanne’s turn. She straddled me and pressed her chest into my face… Cristiano could not take his eyes off of her rear end. Soon she was whispering in his ear and running her hands over his chest.”

The Portuguese striker — moving from Man United to Real Madrid for £80million — was ALREADY snogging a brunette when the two girls arrived at the bar. But he pulled them as well, using the wink made famous when he got England’s Wayne Rooney sent off in the 2006 World Cup. Suzanne said: “He was kissing the girl and staring at us. He made eye contact and threw a sexy, knowing wink. He knows his effect on women.”

Allison and Suzanne said they went home at 4am, leaving Ronaldo still kissing the third girl.

[From the Sun]

At least they didn’t do that thing when the British tabloids make up quotes from Americans using a bunch of British slang. There’s a bit in the article but not in the actual quotes, so they may be legitimate. Legitimate for a story that’s basically a really detailed account of how two women danced for Cristiano Ronaldo, and he was into it. Then they went home. There’s a bit of a bittersweet melancholy to the whole thing, isn’t there?

In related news, there were a lot of reports a few days ago that Paris Hilton was back with ex-boyfriend Doug Reinhardt. It seems that wasn’t the case, or perhaps they just had a temporary hookup. But the most recent reports are still referring to her as single – and also desperately chasing after Ronaldo. Frankly from the sound of the Sun’s story, it sounds like these two are perfect for each other.

Here’s Cristiano Ronaldo enjoying the warm Southern California sunshine yesterday afternoon by the pool at his luxury hotel in Beverly Hills. I think I sort of get the interest now. Images thanks to Mavrix.